"The hand moved slowly up my side, caressing me gently as our lips touched. The moment was so perfect, so right. Suddenly... My alarm clock went off, just me and Paris were about to go further" Matt described to his best friend Alexis as they waited for the bus
"Oh Matty" Alexis laugher her blond hair blowing in the wind,
"you always have the strangest dreams"
"Well...maybe...they arn't about Paris Hilton or Fergie" Matt said shyly as he fixed his hat over his black hockey hair.
Alexis looked timidly at Matt, "Who are they about then?" she asked
"Well...they're about..."
Just then the bus pulled up hiding Matt's answer.
"What?" asked Alexis
"Ah...um...Never-mind...are you going to get on the bus?" Matt haste.
Matt and Alexis had been best friends since grade 2 and had the biggest crush on each other since High School started, but neither one of them was brave enough to make the first move. So they stayed best friends all through high school, But Matt was going to try and make a move and ask Alexis to prom today at lunch.
As soon as they got off the bus the bell rang for home room.
"Meet me for lunch Alexis?" Matt shouted after her
"Of course Matty...see you then" she replied and then she was gone.
Matt was sitting in class waiting for the bell to ring. As he listened to his biology teacher his thoughts couldn't help but drift to his dream this morning. He pictured Alexis's baby blue eyes looking into his, he freckled cheeks his for the kissing, her hands all over his body. Suddenly the bell rang and it was time for lunch.
"Matty!" Alexis shouted from down the hall, "Where we going for lunch? I was thinking the pizza shop or the..." Matt put his finger over he lips to quiet her.
"I have something else planned, if you'll come with me" he smiled slightly but shyly at the same time. Alexis raised an eyebrow, giggled, then follow Matt a meadow in the middle of the woods, where Matt had decorated it with candles and hearts and right in the center of the meadow was an old plaid picnic blanket with strawberries and whip cream.
They ate and talked and giggled. Finally Matt got up the nerve.
"Alexis..."
"Yes" she replied
"I Love you"
Alexis was silent after a long time she smiled sweetly and replied " I Loved you all along"
They shared true loves first kiss and lived happily ever after.
Author notes
I am bad at making titles so sorry.
A contest entry
- Paragraph Prompts (14+ please, while not meant to be erotic they could be) by abba12.
150 points, ended October 2, 2007, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - xxx Lovey Dubbey xxx by ilove2write.
185 points, ended February 28, 2008, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Flash Fiction Festival by SignifyingNothing.
170 points, ended April 23, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What Do You Think...
Comments
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This was sweet. One bit of constructive criticism:
"Matt and Alexis had been best friends since grade 2 and had the biggest crush on each other since High School started, but neither one of them was brave enough to make the first move. So they stayed best friends all through high school, But Matt was going to try and make a move and ask Alexis to prom today at lunch."
This whole paragraph could be eliminated. It breaks up the flow of the story, and it is information that really isn't needed. We already know that they are friends and that Matt wants more. I think what you did with the dialog throughout is better. It's usually better to reveal information in dialog (as long as it remains realistic) then simply 'telling' the reader (the old adage, show don't tell.) So that is my suggestion.
As it was, this is sweet. Thanks for entering, and good luck!
Oh, and one other thing- Matt would have had to decorate the meadow before school to have time to do all that, and the strawberries, if left that long, would have been crawling with bugs. Ick. You may want him to rework that somehow. I suppose they could have been in a container, but... -
"They shared true loves first kiss and lived happily ever after. "
corny lol. very corny
its a sweet story though
good work. you should proofread it, theres a few mistakes there. its also very rushed, try elaborating more, going into things. dont be afraid to make it long.
good work -
I'm pretty sure 'Matt haste' isn't propper English or use of the word. Maybe Matt said hastily or Matt sputtered in hast.
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This one's good too!
Just like all your other ones Amee, this rocked. The only part I have a little trouble understanding is how Matt had time to decorate the meadow or whatever, when he was in biology. Lol, just wondering.
But other than that part, this was really great and I'm looking forward to your next story!
-Kevan
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