Words tickled the back of my neck like the feeling of icy water on a sultry day. I wasn't sure what to say back... my own efforts, pathetically subordinate to yours. It hurt for your syllables to become resonating and gong-like: powerful, but harsh on the ears. You banged on, however; I'm sure you felt the satisfaction of the rising and falling of the beat.
My verbal block could have meant I was listening, processing, agreeing. It was anything but. For once, the connection between my brain and mouth were severed and I wished in vain the incessant quivering in my throat would cease. Not focused on her penniless narration, I instead used my eyes. Each -now silent- tone from her mouth fuelled the desire and desperation, demanding that I be heard. Somewhere in my heart, a fire was started, the flames licking their way through my body creating a sensation to perpetrate my means of communication. My eyes blazed, my very essence becoming an inferno of insanity, my every fibre brimming with what she’d never hear.
And then it was gone. She stood up, offered this limp shell an awkward hug, and then she left. Her departure instigated a flood to rush through my withering frame. I dropped to the seat and the bar tender gave me a sympathetic glance. Under the thrill of the waves washing away the singed debris in my mind, I drooped into glass after glass of cheap beer. The alcohol started off stinging my insides just like it would a burn, but later, I became numb. Later still, I suppose, my heart, my passion, disintegrated and those glowing embers of life ceased to exist.
Author notes
Written specifically for the contest - definitely not an old memory or even sembalance of anything that ever happened to me. Sadly, probably the result of Hollywood.
A contest entry
- 500 Points for Imagery! by beezy92.
750 points, ended March 18, 2008, 35 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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cheers for Hollywood!* Well, parts of it 
Anyway good write. I liked the vocabulary...it wasn't as simple as I would have liked but that's not a bad thing (= Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
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okay... this was a very good piece. I enjoyed it immensly. The writing was great, and I think I only found one error>> spelling.
There is a tiny problem, however. The minimum word count for my contest is 500 words.
I'm sorry to have to do this, but it's the rules. You have one day to fix the length of this piece or to at least message me that it's being done, or I will have to disqualify you.
Shame too, this is a nice piece.
Thanks for the entry, and good luck. -
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hi, i'm working on it! will be done hopefully tonight but i've got homework to finish so hopefully i'll get it done in time.
i really love the idea for you contest! thanks for the chance to write for something challenging and inspiring!
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