"Julius, where are we going?" I asked my silent companion, but he remained silent.
"What's going on? Please Julius, can't you tell me?" I pleaded with him.
Julius stopped walking and turned to me. I tried to take his hand as I had so many times in the past but he pulled it away.
"I have to leave," He said, "I cannot stay here with you, putting you through all this. You don't realize how many times I've nearly killed you."
"I don't care," I answered fiercely, "it doesn't matter. I just want to be with you."
"Anna, what do you think I would do if you died? If you died because of me? I can't die Anna, you know that. I would be here forever, suffering. I have to leave." His voice sent fear coursing through me. I'd never heard him speak in that voice before, it was filled with dispair and sorrow, and...regret.
"But Julius-" I protested but he cut me off
"It has to be this way, Anna. You knew it when you fell in love with me and I knew it when I fell in love with you."
He suddenly reached out and took both of my hands in his. The coldness of his skin suddenly seemed more pronounced, more abnormal.
"Then change me, you could never harm me then. I'd be with you forever then, Julius." I tried to make the request seem to be that, only an innocent request, but Julius wasn't fooled. He knew how bad I wanted it.
"Anna, I wouldn't, I couldn't. You don't know what it's like. How could you? I could never do that to you. I can't give you that life. I couldn't do it. Even if I wanted to, Anna"
"It would hurt me ten times worse if you just left me, Julius. I may not know what it's like to be a vampire but you don't remember what it's like to be human. You don't remember what it's like to lose someone and feel it the way we do. For you pain goes away, not for us, you can say what you want but you know I would never forget you Julius."
He stared at me sadly and a single blood tear dropped from his shining blue eyes. I lifted one hand out of his grip and caught the tear on my finger, the sparkling red of the vampire blood glistened oddly on my skin.
"I won't change you, Anna. If I tasted your blood I would never want to let go. I would kill you completely. I'm so sorry for this but I have to go. I just-" another tear fell from his eye which I wiped away as quickly as the first "-came to say goodbye to you."
I couldn't take this. Julius was all that I had, he was always with me. I loved him more completely then I had ever loved anyone. He couldn't leave me! But no matter how hard I tried not to believe it the truth was staring out at me from his blue eyes.
"Will I ever see you again?" I whispered, tears now poured down my face as well but these were human tears, not tears of blood.
"No, Anna. You will not, this is goodbye forever." Julius ran his fingers swiftly through my hair and though he didn't touch my skin I could feel the familiar chill of his skin through my hair, a feeling I knew I would never feel again.
"Why Julius? At least if I were able to see you again, it would be bearable." I knew it was useless, he was going to leave. But I was stalling, trying to keep him from it and keep him holding me as long as possible.
"Anna, if I ever came back I would never be able to leave again and you would be in even more danger from me. You have to understand, I don't want to leave, I don't want to see you grow old, I don't want to see you die, but I'm not strong enough to change it."
I wished I could hold him forever. Keep him here, with me. But that wasn't how it worked, not with us. Ever since the day we met he had been the dominant one, the strong one. The vampire. And I had known when he told me what he was what would happen. At some point he would either have to kill me or he must never see me again. I didn't know just how soon that time would come.
"Julius, please don't do this. I can't live without you. I need you."
He released my hands and placed each of his own on either side of my face, lifting it up.
"I want to give you one last thing, Anna." Julius said and, without warning, his ice cold lips were on mine and he was kissing me like he had never kissed me before.
The kiss caught me completely by surprise. The icy feeling from his own lips pierced me completely and for a moment I forgot that he was leaving. But no kiss can last forever.
Julius slowly pulled his lips away from mine and met my eyes.
"I don't think you'll ever forget that." He whispered softly.
I reached out and touched my hand to his cheek, wanting to feel that chill on my hand one last time before he left. Julius took my hand, kissed my palm, and closed my quivering fingers over his kiss.
"Goodbye Anna," Julius whispered, "You know I'll always love you, more then anything else in the world."
"Goodbye Julius," I replied, "Even after I'm gone you know I'll always love you."
And then, just like that, he was gone. And I was alone. More alone then I had been in a long time. I fell to my knees as the full weight of his departure hit me.
Gone. I didn't know which way Julius had run and he left no footprints. The only sign that he was even here was the fading chill in my hand. And the memories. So many memories, they only made me feel worse. Everything I had done for the past year had about him. He was always with me, always close no matter what. I felt like I had been ripped to pieces.
Nothing could hurt like this. Not even being changed to vampire. Why couldn't he have done that instead? Around me I faintly heard the sound of rain pouring down but I couldn't feel it, I was numb to anything but the pain.
Somehow I stood up, I don't know how, but I managed to. I let my feet carry me down the path that lead out of the trees. I tripped on something I couldn't see and fell face down in the mud.
For awhile I just laid there, the tears on my face were invisible because of the rain but my sorrow was just the same. I kept repeating his words in my head, you know I'll always love you, you know I'll always love you. I closed my eyes and the raindrops smack my face, the sting each drop produced was not enough to drown out the torture of his departure though.
I grabbed onto a small tree and lifted myself up with much difficulty. And again I followed the path that led out of the trees. My eyes stayed on my feet, I wasn't really seeing anything though.
I felt something warm wash down my face and brushed my hand over my forhead. When I pulled my hand back I saw briefly before the rain washed it away, blood. I was bleeding, I had fallen. Turning my eyes to the area just behind me where I had tripped I saw red in the puddle my face had been in. I cut my forehead, perhaps on the treeroots in the ground. I could feel the pain of it suddenly and the blood in my eyes blinded me.
Julius, I thought, you took my pain away everytime. I couldn't hurt when I was with you. Why Julius?
I stumbled out of the trees and saw what I had come for. The cliffs that looked out toward Silverstone mountain, and were just as high. I slowly walked toward the edge, his voice in my mind.
I'll always love you, I'll always love you.
I went to the edge of the cliff and looked down. A long fall, no one could survive, except him. But not me, not that it mattered. I was dead inside already. I took another step forward and with one last thought I jumped.
Goodbye Julius, even after I'm gone you know I'll always love you.
Author notes
I'm trying to see just how good I am with messing with peoples emotions with writing. You know make a person mad, make them happy, make them sad (yes this is a sad one) and even things like make people eager or hungry (I did this one once, it was kind of funny) Am I any good?
A contest entry
- So You Think You Can Write? by EtherealButterfly.
1225 points, ended October 5, 2007, 39 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Scare Me, Woo Me by hey incendiary.
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Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The VERY BEST of DARK by Immortal Obscurity.
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Hmmm... Perhaps internal death is the deadliest of all.
No one is ever prepared to lose love, and that's why I felt so badly for poor Anna. It's hard to have someone you love leave you on bad terms, but even if you are still in love with him, nothing he says is going to make a difference.
Well done, and best of luck to you.
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it's a mark of how demented and evil I am that I reread over this and started laughing uncontrollably at the part where she jumped
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nah
sound story and that i liked it, not a tear jerker or anytin an i disagree with the whole emoish thing hahaa it doesnt matter how a stry fits into a category, its the actual story that counts, if someone thinks that the story of loge between mortal and
immortal is used too many times then they shouldnt comment. i did XD anwhoo it was still emptional to the point of watery eyes and that so good luck
FLUFFYKINS X
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Touching...
Not usually a fan of stories that involve vampires, but this was an excellent read.
I enjoyed it, and your wording was well done.
It flowed well. I felt the emotions you were attempting to portray. I can't say i cried, but i was definitely touched.
A little editing would help with a few grammar and punctuation mistakes. I'd also suggest a little less dialogue. I think this story relies more on actions and emotions than dialogue.
Vivid imagery, and great story.
Keep up the good work!
Yrs.
Azaradelle.
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I agree with oblivion kitty - not sad, really, but more depressed and emo-ish. It didn't even make me come near crying. but it's a decent story.
Lily -
"Anna, I wouldn't, I couldn't. You don't know what it's like. How could you? I could never do that to you. I can't give you that life. I couldn't do it. Even if I wanted to, Anna"
-- You forgot a period there. Also, as Ankita DG has already stated, you forgot the word "love" in the part that they pointed out.
Otherwise, it's a pretty good story. It made me very sad, but I don't often cry from stories that I read, to be honest. Even so, it was a great emotional tale of vampire-human love porportions, and it made me appreciate drama stories a little bit more. Nice work. I hope to read more from you soon. ^-^beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Decent, at best. It was written pretty well and I didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors. But personally I think the overuse of dialogue drew away from story immensely. It wasn't sad, or depressing, or a tear-jerker. And, against what you may think, I do cry at sad stories. This is not a sad story, more of a stereotypical "emo" story. And that, to me, is a less-than-good story. The idea of vampires is overdone more times that I can count, the stories about a vampire (or other immortal) falling in love with a mortal are even more numerous. And the stories of the vampire (or immortal) having to leave, breaking the mortal's heart, and following events is so overdramatic that all love for such a story is all but impossible for me. Sorry if this seems a bit harsh, but if you want to try toying with people's emotions, you have to get deeper, root yourself and your words in the very core of human thought. This barely scratches the surface.
However, for a start, it's not bad. Keep working at it and I'm sure you can toy with emotions like the best of them.
Thanks for the read. -
Great dialog, I love the plot and I feel the emotion in the letter on the computer screen. I could really visualize it . A windy day, dark cold bland scenery. You are really good at this. So vivid. Great _nora
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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This reminded me of an Interview with A Vampire (I don't know why). Maybe because in that movie, they talked about being immortal as well.
Anyway, quoting a line from your work: "Goodbye Anna," Julius whispered, "You know I'll always you, more then anything else in the world."
You forgot the most essential word - "love" in the line. Just a minute error; thought I'll point it out though.
I like the whole story. However, I am not too fond of the diction; focus on your linguistic skills. You are able to convey emotions but a good hold on language would definitely be able to convey the emotions more effectively.
Anyway, good write. Keep Writing
Ankitabeginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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sorry
I do that alot, see I have the story in my head I know the entire thing every word before I even write it down and I say it in my head as I type it and sometimes I think faster then I type and well you see the result
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Yes you are very good with messing with people's feelings!! It made me cry...
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thank you for the complement...sorry i made you cry
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hehe i absolutely LOVED this story. it was so sad but written so beautifully, which added to my emotional blast that i got whilst reading this. well done!
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thanks!! that means alot from you!
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