‘’One’’ and ‘’1’’ bump into each other one night at a seedy side lane bar. This was a place if you didn’t want to smell vomit, you had to drink. And if you didn’t want to drink, you vomit because of the awful smell.
The moment they’ve noticed each other, One thought 1 was amazing. She seemed intelligent, reliable, certain, and maybe even the real one. One on the other hand was shy, misunderstood and emotional. He just stood there for a moment, gazing at her with admire, also wondering why she ended up at this god awful place.
‘’Are you trying to be me?’’ asked 1.
‘’No’’ said One. ‘’This is just who I am, this is who I’ve always been.’’
‘’We’re not the same though… I can solve things, you can’t.’’ said 1, very proud of her own purpose.
One felt worthless at the presence of 1, ashamed of his own meaning which only existed by 1’s entity. He also couldn’t help wondering whether she also felt the same way.
‘’I’m lonely.’’ said One, ‘’it’s painful to be lonely, can you solve this?’’
1 didn’t reply and felt silent. She was also lonely, but her pride made her keep this as a secret… Secrets must be lonely she thought to herself.
‘’Maybe we can be friends.’’ said One timidly.
‘’We can’t be together.’’ said 1, ‘’there can only be one one, it’s the rule.’’
‘’I love you.’’ said One for no reason.
‘’How much?’’ asked 1 without a delay, as if she was already expecting this.
‘’A lot.’’
‘’Can you prove it?’’
‘’I can’t.’’ said One, lowering his head.
‘’Then it’s worthless. It’s the rule.’’
‘’Can you solve it?’’ asked One.
‘’I already have.’’ answered 1.
One came closer to 1, when they stood next to each other; they both realized they became ‘’a 1one’’.
Author notes
I particulary like this story of mine because it is a story which can only be read in order to be understood, and wouldn't make any sense if told.
A contest entry
- So You Think You Can Write? by EtherealButterfly.
1225 points, ended October 5, 2007, 39 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Unique. It is obvious you have an imagination and it is really put well into words. This is a good story.
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I'm confused...
"a 1one" kind of looks like the word alone
I don't know if that's what you were trying to do... and I think I completely missed the point of this...
sorry!
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simply fablous! there no ther word for this, not a single one or 1!
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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Clever
It was a unique twist and shows considerable imagination. Too bad that "One never realized that he (she) was top dog since He (she) was "The One" There could be no other and that "One" had a freedom that poor "1" could never enjoy.
Liked it.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I like the Author Notes it was true it is a story which can only be read and someone who knows they are a one night stand. Sometimes it's better to love for one night then not to love at all.
I've been there and maybe it was the drinks, but for the minute, I found love or was it just because I was lonely.
Did this happen to you? I read it twice!
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Um, wow that was defently not a story i want to hear on odio tape or disk and defenitly don't want to try and explane that one eather. Very intresting.
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Mmmm! I dont know waht to make of that.
I like it but it is a little bit weird. The story line is good if a bit strange.
All the best.
jsdk
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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This was absolutely one of the weirdest but coolest stories that I have read in my entire life. I'm sure I could make it weirder, but I think you did a good job with this one.
Keep up the great work! -
Mmkay. Grammar time.
‘’One’’ and ‘’1’’ bump[ED] into each other one night at a seedy side lane bar. This was a place [THAT]if you didn’t want to smell vomit, you had to drink. And if you didn’t want to drink, you vomit[ED] because of the awful smell.
He just stood there for a moment, gazing at her with admire[SHOULD BE ADMIRATION], also[TAKE OUT THE ALSO] wondering why she ended up at this god awful place.
One felt worthless at the presence of 1, ashamed of his own meaning which[COMMA] only existed by 1’s entity
I found this to be, actually, a very interesting story. I could tell that it was building up to an important ending where they would come together, but was confused in the end. I don't understand what is mean be '1one" Is it supposed to be like, lone?
You may want to specifiy this so that future readers ar enot confused as well.
-ASH-
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*confused*
...umm...I liked it but I'm a little confused... -
This really good... I don't truly understand the point of it but all in all I really like it. Koodles
Blessed be
Mystic -
It's a good attempt, but I somehow missed the point. Why don't you add more to it, flesh it out a little, and then, perhaps, it will bloom like a flower.
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