A LITTLE UNFINISHED MONKEY BUSINESS1
GAFLK SFDL QBMSDF. SKITL DIP DOP. Vksbrug veeksburp pippop nipnap slp slop klincksnain klinksnoon nib inb gib gibn gibris blip giberis... gibberish. 2
For the most part, that should have been the way the monkeys workel - ah - worked. But it wasn't always so. According to the story "Inflexible Logic" by Russell Maloney (New Yorker Magazine, 1940) reprinted in Clifton Fadiman's entertaining anthology "Fantasia Mathematica" the half dozen (not infinite number) monkeys, although given infinity to accomplish their feat, went ahead, and, pounding the keyboard at random (as the average primate would be prone to do), typed out, perfectly, many of the world's great works - at the outset of their task! 3
The expectation had been that, given infinity, the monkeys would strike all the possible letter and word combinations - eventually. But, that should have taken some time. The experimenters were not unprepared to go through reams of nonsense before encountering even a semblance of a reasonable series of words, not to say a complete sentence. What did in fact occur by Mr. Maloney's account, however, was something altogether different, though not contrary to strict logic. The sensible letter combinations, the perfect word constructions simply were struck before the imperfect, nonsensical ones. 4
In view of the fact that the entire exercise was based on random pounding and not learning experience of any kind, the reversal of expectations is no less probable or logical than thinking the monkeys could produce, or reproduce, a great work after billions of years! A coin flipped enough times will eventually fall on its side - but the odds of its doing so are the same for each flip. The coin might fall on its side on the fiftieth or the first flip. The odds are the same, however great. And, should the coin fall on its side the first flip, the odds of the coin falling on its side the second flip are not decreased. The slate is wiped clean. It could fall on its side again! Odds won't change simply because of what just happened. 5
In Maloney's story a frustrated and confounded mathematician shoots the prolific monkey before he can continue producing classic after infallible classic. I propose this is not really what transpired. The true account of just what occurred has been kept from the public record long enough! 6
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Chimpanzee F, Dinty, did manage to finish Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe, as did his fellow typists in time (with the help of their extensive line of progeny who took up the job when their elders were too old and exhausted) finish all the great and not so great works of literature. These facts were kept secret partially because of the incredulous nature of the public and indeed the incredible nature of the material concerned. Of course, an additional factor may have been the somewhat unscientific and rather whimsical hypothesis upon which the entire business was conducted. The most critical basis, however, for withholding the experiment's results lay in the shocking series of events which developed as time passed - as the chimpanzees continued in their feverish work. 8
It does seem pointless to speculate; still, it may have been a strange genetic propensity the younger chimps inherited from their parents; perhaps a metaphysical perception capable of closing out the real world (or this one, anyway) of random occurrences. It might have been that without knowing why (based on pragmatic experience and information) the primates were able, by some unknown system of guidance, always and without fail, to make correct decisions; not unlike some foolish and carefree people who are undeniably, continually, what we call "lucky." For no apparent reason, these lucky people are perpetually at the right places and the right times, and through no homework of their own always seem to make the right moves. These people invariably show up, just in time to catch what turns out to be an uncrowded flight without at all having checked schedules beforehand. It never rains on their vacations. They wander, naively, into the finest restaurants and hotels without having extended the least effort at research or query. Whatever guides them through their infallible, although apparently random, meandering, we call "luck!" Could that same guidance, in stronger concentration, have been responsible for what the monkeys were performing? 9
Whatever may have been responsible, the monkeys' accomplishments surpassed all expectations. After their having typed out all the great works which had already been written, they proceeded to write the great works which had not yet been written. At first, understandably, we had some difficulty discerning exactly what was happening. Our literary team no longer recognized the manuscript pages turned out by the chimps but could see they did not comprise gibberish by any means. It became evident, after extensive research, that the little devils had exhausted all of the great letter and word combinations which had at one time or another been set down on paper by the masters. They were now producing the remaining combinations - yet to be created! 10
The books were marvelous. It was easy to see they were all destined to become future sensations. Neither was it long before our convictions were borne out. Not one week after Ezra (Dinty's son) had completed his first in this new series of yet to be written classics, did the volume receive its rave notice on the front page of the New York Times Book Review. The author was a Russian who had been working on the epic for months. Naturally, he had had no communication with the monkey, and Ezra certainly knew nothing of the Russian (short of writing the man's book!) 11
Lord knows how we might have capitalized on this turn of events, but as scientists, dedicated only to purposes of our own, however abstract and pointless, the information now at our disposal was put to no bad or dubious use. The new manuscripts were simply catalogued and filed away with the older ones. Yesterday's events, however, may have to change all of that. 12
Since the original group of simians had completed the written great works, many years had passed. As the newer crews fervently pressed on with their continuing task, the chimps ate, slept, took in a fair share of frolic and also multiplied. The ensuing generations assumed their turns at the typewriters (now computer keyboards), where their ancestors had left off, and manuscripts filled our files and rooms. Not too many more years passed. 13
Yesterday Ezra's daughter Lena had just finished a most beautiful novel, which, I must confess, we had not read in its entirety, when she inserted a new page into the typewriter she preferred using. No sooner had she underscored the new title and written a half dozen lines, before she stopped in the midst of a sentence. She removed the paper, laid it aside, inserted a fresh page, and began an entirely new piece. 14
The monitor, without waiting to see what was to follow, sought me out to report the incident just as he had witnessed it. I rushed to the scene, understandably disturbed, thinking it was finally over. The miracle had apparently, at long last, run its odd course. But this was not so! 15
One glance over her shoulder and I could see what Lena was now writing was making perfect sense. Yet - how to account for the one discarded page? I lifted it from where Lena had placed it and all became terrifyingly clear. The discarded page read: CHRONICLE OF THE PLANET'S LAST DAYS. There was no author. It went on: "There will doubtless be a shortage of time today, certainly tomorrow, to tell all. Still, an attempt must be made to record at least these last hours here. The chaos and devastation we have all brought down on ourselves for the past several days, ironically, six, may well culminate so we shall all rest on the seventh. As I set this down I have just witnessed a blinding flash to the east - and another to the nor-" 16
There it finished. Lena had pulled the page from her machine and had placed it atop the pile of already finished manuscripts. The words were apparently to be the last ever written on Earth. But now, the completion of the circle which was to comprise our creations was just beginning. The monkeys, you see, had already typed all those great works WRITTEN, and those that have yet TO BE WRITTEN. Now, Lena had before her, page one of all the great works which will, alas, NEVER BE WRITTEN. 17
I looked, once more, over the chimpanzee's stooped shoulder. She had already begun typing the book's title: PLANET OF PEACE. 18
*19
A contest entry
- Get me thinking... by Adelaide Blood.
275 points, ended July 6, 2008, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Your best speculative fiction! by Minorchar.
900 points, ended October 24, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - WRITE ME SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY GOOD. I WANT TO BE HOOKED FROM YOUR FIRST SENTENCE. I LIKE SURPRISE ENDINGS OF SORTS, BUT NOT ALWAYS. by Bernice DeLucchi.
525 points, ended May 12, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Ok, Where are my Sci-fi geeks? by Lekos Memory.
245 points, ended June 17, 38 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Enter If You Dare by seasonsoflove.
525 points, ended October 11, 135 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Contest by Kagamine Rin.
325 points, ended September 26, 25 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 87 of 87
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Wow, what a story!
I do believe you have a gift!
Simply, a delightful read.
Well, one thing for sure: chimps have never overpopulated the planet, and destroyed their environment.
I applaud you sir for you inventive, and imaginative write!
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You're a total Genius. that's what i think. You should work for every scientific publication out there i ruv you
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5.
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WOW! love love loved it!! NIce writing
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Nice. A little blend of humor with just enough realism and purpose. Nicely written, I did enjoy it. As with most of your works, there is little I can think of to suggest. As this stands, I'm not sure if the use of smell would benefit this story as it would most others.
Overall, I'd say this is one of my favorites. Great work. -
(oops, forgot these!)
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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Brilliant. Wonderfully written; I loved this. Surprising in all of its parts and deserving of all the awards its recieved--and more, to be honest.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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Delightful
Judging from the trophies and comments, I am in the majority of us chimps who write in saying well done! -
Wow, I really like this
It not my kind of story but it is still enjoyable
Good Job!
xox HEX xox -
I like monkeys.
To an extent. Sometimes... They can be scary. |D
Sci-Fi... I like it. Thanks. ^^ -
This is good!
Plot: 3
Language: 4
Theme: 4
Total: 11
Great work! Keep it up! Thank you for entering!! -
M-monkeys?
Scary. Scary scary scary. BUT I LUV IT! Your writing is so formal! cool!
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Ominous
Really interesting. God I love monkeys.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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So since you suggested it I took a look. This was simply awesome. It seems so monty pythonish! Like the chimps are now smarter then we are! This is, quite simply, the best thing I've ever seen on this website, and I think you should submit it somewhere, I'm sure it would be published!
It used alot of "big" words...but in a way that's part of it's charm.
anyhow, that's my two cents.
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This is extremely good. It got really concentrating (rarely does that happen in a storywrite story). I am definitely adding you as a finalist.
Thanks for entering this into my contest and good luck.
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Oh my. I have tough competition for zaknafein's contest!
This is amazing...except for one unfortunate thing...how could you deduce that Lena...oh wait, I think I got it. What you're trying to say is since the book would be written on the last day of Earth's existence, it would never be FINISHED!(Though the poor author could jot down a few words you know)
Wonderful. I don't regret reading this.
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As usual, an excellent, well-written story. I really enjoyed this!
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Very good and intriguing read here. I enjoyed this
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Hi Gary,
I ll be honest. I found it a tricky read. No need to be upset though. Most of the things which I have read short before midnight in a foreign language turned out to be difficult.
However the story line is easy enough to follow but you challenge the reader to think and confront them with a stream of somewhat erratic concepts. Strangely enough, I belief, this makes up some of its charm.
Paragraph 11 -
Here you use for the first time the first person perspective. baffled me somewhat because it struck me as a review before.
In the end it boils down to this: I really like the story and where you took it. Above all it is well executed with its many facets (Humour, moral, etc)
Hope it helps and keep up the good work
Illitsch
beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4.
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Paragraph 9... you got me giggling. Those "foolish and carefree people who are undeniably and continually, what we call 'lucky'" - I know them! And they are so aggravating! What an annoying lot... they ARE foolish, yet spurred by their constant "luck" they march on, heads high.... Sigh. (I realize I have now gone off on a tangent, but you see you got me going with that!)
In paragraph 10 it starts to sound like science fiction - it reminded me vaguely of "Planet of the Apes". Hey... where was the SPCA in all of this?
Very interesting... different style from your works that I usually read. Congrats for the trophies!!
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wow that was excellent. i loved it. well done
keep up the great work!!
citcat
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holy crap. i now know how the world will end.... BRAVO!! excellent work. i am shocked, astounded, and still laughing. well done indeed!
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This is really interesting. I was a little confused at first, as it just seemed to be a reveiw of some sort, but as I read on, I really started thinking about what you had written. This is a great idea, and I think it could be a great story if you worked on it, made it longer, perhaps even chaptered, rather than just a short piece.
Very well done, and thanks for entering! -
The Idea Story
I love the pure idea stories. Reminds me a lot of "The Nine Billion Names of God" by Arthur C. Clarke. The last few lines had that same kind of resonance as the last line in that story (which I have to put here because I just love it):
""Look," whispered Chuck, and George lifted his eyes to heaven. (There is always a last time for everything.)
Overhead, without any fuss, the stars were going out."
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed it, keep up the good work.
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Thought-provoking, indeed.
My verdict says it all. Good piece, masterful spelling and grammar (well, I suppose you must follow your own commandments!), and of course an interesting topic. It really does bring a bout of brainstorming to the reader, about how this could really happen and what it would mean.
There was only one small problem, miniature really--isn't Lena supposed to be using a computer?
Thanks,
Cubby
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Wonderfully done! I am a sucker for nuclear holocaust.
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Oh my goodness I love the stories put out by the new yorker! good job I liked this! and it definately made me think!
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the picture got me
this was very uh..interesting xD -
I knew it!
I just knew the great scribes of the past (and present) must have had help in some way
After reading the first paragraph my first thoughts were of Bob Newhart and his take on monkeys and typewriters.
I clicked on more in puzzlement but knew I was in for some interesting reading when I saw the name of the Author.
This is completely different from the one and only other story belonging to you that I have read, and once again I am left with the great feeling of fulfillment from reading a great story.
As with any good story the beginning hooked me, the middle interested me and the ending satisfied me.
There is one thing I did notice which seemed slightly awry and that was the fact Lena seemed to be using a typewriter and yet earlier it is suggested the monkeys had moved with the times and were now using computers? Maybe my mind missed something, it does that to me now and again.
A lovely story, well paced with a wonderful plot and leaving me with a final question - is there anyway I could possible "borrow" one of those monkeys
- I've got plenty of nuts, in fact I AM nuts
Lawrie
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Very, very cool idea, this was definitely not what i expected from reading the first paragraph, it was original and extremely interesting.
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.... Wow. This is amazing. At first it confused me a bit, but through the middle of the second paragraph, it started making sense. Monkeys and chimps are going to scare me for a while, espcially ones with access to a typewriter. It's a great story. It's not really my blade of grass, but honestly, the things you write are spectacular.
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Spectacular!
Great read, so interesting. The monkeys being very intelligent, knowing what some humans never would, being able to write things that, to the eyes, looked lke gibberish, when infact, it was something clever, premoniton, I guess.........genius, strange idea for a story.
Very well-written, as usual.=)=)
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Hmmm kind of weird and far-out for my taste but nevertheless your writing style is lovely and you have a real flare for vivid descriptions
It is very unusual, but I applaud you for it being an excellent read overall
~ Ink
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it was confusing or maybe im just stupid
so Lena is predicting the end of the world ???
i must be stupid
reminds me of Congo by Michael Crichton -
Uh... it is interesting I suppose but very very confusing...
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This, sir, was awesome. (To have an original thought, and all.) I've always been a huge fan of stories playing with this idea, and you did it very well.
(An aside: I once wrote a blog that involved a bunch of literary characters writing observations on the modern world--Conan of Cimmeria, Sherlock Holmes, Captain Stormfield, and the like. One of the "members" was known as "monkeys to infinity" and would periodically post things like the entirety of Hamlet's "To be or not to be" speech with one or two fatal errors.)
Ahem. At any rate, thank you very much for entering my contest, and good luck.
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Oh one more thing, I was reading other comments and thought, why would you want to develop the narrator? The narrator is there to tell the story not to be part of it. Lol.. just thought I should share that with everyone who may agree with that person.
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I've always been afraid of monkeys- ahem- apes, and now they scare me more. (monkeys have tails). This is one of the best pieces I've ever read. It really had me thinking.
(Should have won gold in that contest).
=D
Very well written, at first a little hard to understand.. I mean how could chimps start to wtire gibberish and then make sense? Oh wait, now get it. Lol. Great job.
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That was fascinating! Albiet slightly confusing for me. Oh well, obviously that must mean I'm not quite as clever as I think I am! Haha. I loved the beginning, it really caught me attention! I agree with Valkyrie though on the fact that your writing resembles that of Terry Pratchet, and thats saying something there!
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Cool story--original and well told
The only thing that might make this better would be a little more development of the narrator as character. That and a more powerful opening would make this A-1, IMHO.
beginning: 3, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 2.
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I was very pleasantly surprised by this! Nearly Kurt Vonnegut-ish. At first glance of the title I was expecting something sillier, but it was oddly philosophical. Maybe it could use a bit of cleaning up, but on the whole, I liked it.
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i thought this was brilliantly funny one of the best works of monkey literature but i do wish to read those books never to be written.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I found no mistakes, but alas- I wasnt looking for any. I was reminded, heavily, of Planet of the Apes. It was compelling, written well and totally interesting. I would read more of this- if you ever wrote more of it- but... at the same time it does fine on its own.
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Very intriguing and thought-provoking. This reminded me of the arguments surrounding the facilitated communicator used by people who have Autism and cannot speak. The argument there though is that they are not really the ones typing text, but someone else who is guiding them. A man named Arthur Golden from Jerusalem had a great account of his son using this device, saying he had typed out things about other people from very far away that later came true.
Keep on writing, I like your style. I like the language you use. It's intellectual, but not overboard with ten-cent words I might not understand.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 4.
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I'm afraid if I used all the words I have in my mind that apply to the wondrousness of this short story, I'll die of starvation in my chair.
Mister Gary, you officially rock.
So very Terry Pratchett there, with the "Yet to be written" works.
I loved it. Every word. I am not surprised it's been published.
I found the statistical anomaly hilarious, and when mixed with the works not yet written, it made me laugh out loud. When the works that will never be written began, I think my mind exploded from happiness. That was the most twisty, fulfilling plot angle I've seen since reading Pratchett's Going Postal.
And THEN, on top of all that, the anomalous animals predict the end of the world! With a very poetic chime at the end: "planet of peace" will never be written...ahh, my brain is high on your story.
I couldn't help but read the numerous comments on this as well; clearly you have two groups of readers there. Pssst: I'm in the happy group.
And if I could give more clappys, I would!
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BRILLIANT!
Simply brilliant! I add my praise to that of those before me. The theme, the clever way you developed it, the sci-fi element, the philosophic content, all of it! Simply brilliant!
Anaya
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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That certainly was interesting and definitely creative; I liked this work though I found some parts rather dull. All in all it definitely was a good read, though I fail to find the depth in it, or at least the amount of depth I'd expected.
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Very nice Gary. I particularly like its multidimensionality. There is the humourous side - reminding me of Asimov's quaint short on the chemical reaction that time travels - reacting before it actually is triggered. Very original take on the Monkey/works of Shakespeare theme. Turning it into a moral story at the end added extra depth.
I normally do an edit style appraisal of works I read, but I wont because it has already been done by someone else, and I tend to do it to works more recently written. I did spot what I considered a few minor grammar issues, but that is probably more my own taste involved here, and I think it is immaterial anyhow.
One point: and it is mixed. I really have an aversion to very long sentences with zigzagging with commas. However, I will not be harsh here, because that style - if used effectively - adds to your intention, where humour can be extended by the "swift asides" of such grammar. However, I think you are skirting edges here and there.
I note that you have had this published already - deservedly so.
Well done!
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My what it must be like to go prodding around inside your head! This was splendid and wonderful to read, a bit humorous I might add. Well done, I enjoyed this very much and look forward to reading more from you ^_^
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Incredible
Awesome story there, pal!
(PS: Are you the one who wrote the Secretary story? Just wondering...) -
Neat twist on reality
I recall an experiment in the wild where adult monkeys learned from their young. The young did not have preconceived notions that interfered with the new situations brought about my mankind and therefor adapted their behavior to the NEW environment.
Alas, one of the female monkeys fell in love with one of the male humans and made it very difficult to conduct an unbiased experiment.
ALL TRUE!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Brilliant
A wonderful dose of philosophical wisdom, delivered through a unique sci-fi mechanism. This really is a great piece, akin in breadth and delivery to one of the author’s I most respect, Isaac Asimov. The opening is wonderfully surreal, and the premise beautifully developed. As Douglas Adams would write, “This is of course impossible.”
Somehow, I doubt this story has the breadth of appeal of some other more popular works, but rest assured that it has landed magnificently with at least this part of your target demographic.
Excellent writing.
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I've never read anything like this. It was amazing, really creative, and very well written. I love it!
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cool;
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Beautiful! You've got a beautiful mind. I really like you work.
beginning: 2, language: 2, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 2.
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Ah, very clever! I like this, but it is too easily divisible into three parts that don't flow together like your writing usually does "monkey-typing anecdote, lucky people, actual story." Each bit by itself was fine, though of course the last bit was the best and definitely eerie. Very eerie, and a little cheeky ^_^.
My only major grammatical issue is this sentence- "After their having typed out all the great works which had already been written" because it is a passive sentence ("After their having typed") and maybe I'm old school, but that's usually a big no-no. Great job! Talented monkeys! Clever story.
As always, Granny.
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I'm sorry, but it didn't really captivate me. It had some good description, though. Anyway, thanks for entering and good luck.
~
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Sorry but...
Actually, let me enter this defense of my story (not prompted by my loss in the contest...but by your comment that the tale did not "captivate" you.) The story has been pretty much universally accepted as one of the better recent science fiction efforts...and has been, reviewed by Martin Gardner, formerly of Scientific American as a "marvelous story" and picked up for publication in an international journal of literature. Also, pretty much everyone who has read it through and understood it has acclaimed the story...(surprising me) but that is why I submitted it to you. Sorry you didn't like it...didn't "get" it...or weren't "captivated" by it. I know it takes all kinds to make a horse race...but I do feel you may have been rushed and didn't really give this the time and thought it deserved. Read it again sometime. You may be surprised at what you missed.
GA
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very good
Hi Gary----I will do a critique of this story, on a paragraph, by paragraph bases, publishing only paragraph I wish to comment on. Remember my comments are not written in stone, it has even been suggested that I once made a mistake. I will save my overall comments on the story until the end.
For the most part, that should have been the way the monkeys workel - ah - worked. But it wasn't always so. According to the story "Inflexible Logic" by Russell Maloney (New Yorker Magazine, 1940) reprinted in Clifton Fadiman's entertaining anthology "Fantasia Mathematica" the half dozen (not infinite number) monkeys, although given infinity to accomplish their feat, went ahead, and, pounding the keyboard at random (as the average primate would be prone to do), typed out, perfectly, many of the world's great works - at the outset of their task! 4
(I think the period, after the word [worked] should be changed to a comma because the next sentence should be included in the first; it is after all an amendment to the first. I would use bold text to high light book titles rather than the quotation marks, but that’s just me. The next sentence starting with the word [According] is extremely long and runs on till the end of the paragraph. I know the sentence is blessed with several bracketed insert, that technically, one may not consider a part of the sentence. I would end this sentence after the word [ahead] start the next with the word [Pounding] Last but not least; I think the comma after the bracketed part should be inside the brackets.)
The expectation had been that, given infinity, the monkeys would strike all the possible letter and word combinations - eventually. But, that should have taken some time. The experimenters were not unprepared to go through reams of nonsense before encountering even a semblance of a reasonable series of words, not to say a complete sentence. What did in fact occur by Mr. Maloney's account, however, was something altogether different, though not contrary to strict logic. The sensible letter combinations, the perfect word constructions simply were struck before the imperfect, nonsensical ones. 5
(At the end of the first sentence, you use a hyphen positioned between two words. I think your intent is to create a longer than normal pause, that is accomplished by using an Em-dash or an ellipsis Em-dash is made by putting two hyphens between words without any spacing. The ellipsis is of course three dots. The next sentence is an amendment to the first and should be a part of it. All you need to do is replace the period after the word [eventually ] with a comma and delete the comma after the word [but].)
In view of the fact that the entire exercise was based on random pounding and not learning experience of any kind, the reversal of expectations is no less probable or logical than thinking the monkeys could produce, or reproduce, a great work after billions of years! A coin flipped enough times will eventually fall on its side - but the odds of its doing so are the same for each flip. The coin might fall on its side on the fiftieth or the first flip. The odds are the same, however great. And, should the coin fall on its side the first flip, the odds of the coin falling on its side the second flip are not decreased. The slate is wiped clean. It could fall on its side again! Odds won't change simply because of what just happened. 6
(I think the first sentence should end after the word [kind] it seems to me that, is the end of the first thought. Further down you put a hyphen between side and but which needs to be an Em-dash or ellipsis. In the sentence that starts [the odds] should be extended, by replacing the period after [great] with a comma and removing the comma after [and]. I think the last three sentences should be combined, it may involve some rewarding, but they all deal with the same general topic.)
In Maloney's story a frustrated and confounded mathematician shoots the prolific monkey before he can continue producing classic after infallible classic. I propose this is not really what transpired. The true account of just what occurred has been kept from the public record long enough! 7
(I think you need a comma after the word [monkey] the last sentence is not an exclamation, I think it’s more accurately a statement.)
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Chimpanzee F, Dinty, did manage to finish Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe, as did his fellow typists in time (with the help of their extensive line of progeny who took up the job when their elders were too old and exhausted) finish all the great and not so great works of literature. These facts were kept secret partially because of the incredulous nature of the public and indeed the incredible nature of the material concerned. Of course, an additional factor may have been the somewhat unscientific and rather whimsical hypothesis upon which the entire business was conducted. The most critical basis, however, for withholding the experiment's results lay in the shocking series of events which developed as time passed - as the chimpanzees continued in their feverish work. 9
(I think the first sentence should end after the word [Stowe] start the next sent with [As] a comma after the word [hypothesis] and an Em-dash between, passed and as.)
It does seem pointless to speculate; still, it may have been a strange genetic propensity the younger chimps inherited from their parents; perhaps a metaphysical perception capable of closing out the real world (or this one, anyway) of random occurrences. It might have been that without knowing why (based on pragmatic experience and information) the primates were able, by some unknown system of guidance, always and without fail, to make correct decisions; not unlike some foolish and carefree people who are undeniably, continually, what we call "lucky." For no apparent reason, these lucky people are perpetually at the right places and the right times, and through no homework of their own always seem to make the right moves. These people invariably show up, just in time to catch what turns out to be an uncrowded flight without at all having checked schedules beforehand. It never rains on their vacations. They wander, naively, into the finest restaurants and hotels without having extended the least effort at research or query. Whatever guides them through their infallible, although apparently random, meandering, we call "luck!" Could that same guidance, in stronger concentration, have been responsible for what the monkeys were performing? 10
(In the second sentence the first [and] word should be replaced by a comma after [places] and the word [at]. I think you also need a comma after [own]. I don’t think there is a word [uncrowded] I know what you mean, but don’t know how to advise.)
Whatever may have been responsible, the monkeys' accomplishments surpassed all expectations. After their having typed out all the great works which had already been written, they proceeded to write the great works which had not yet been written. At first, understandably, we had some difficulty discerning exactly what was happening. Our literary team no longer recognized the manuscript pages turned out by the chimps, but could see they did not comprise gibberish by any means. It became evident, after extensive research, that the little devils had exhausted all of the great letter and word combinations which had at one time or another been set down on paper by the masters. They were now producing the remaining combinations - yet to be created! 11
The books were marvelous. It was easy to see they were all destined to become future sensations. Neither was it long before our convictions were borne out. Not one week after Ezra (Dinty's son) had completed his first in this new series of yet to be written classics, did the volume receive its rave notice on the front page of the New York Times Book Review. The author was a Russian who had been working on the epic for months. Naturally, he had had no communication with the monkey, and Ezra certainly knew nothing of the Russian (short of writing the man's book!) 12
(I don’t think the double [had] is needed.)
Lord knows how we might have capitalized on this turn of events, but as scientists, dedicated only to purposes of our own, however abstract and pointless, the information now at our disposal was put to no bad or dubious use. The new manuscripts were simply catalogued and filed away with the older ones. Yesterday's events, however, may have to change all of that. 13
(I think the first sentence should end after the word [pointless].)
Since the original group of simians had completed the written great works, many years had passed. As the newer crews fervently pressed on with their continuing task, the chimps ate, slept, took in a fair share of frolic and also multiplied. The ensuing generations assumed their turns at the typewriters (now computer keyboards), where their ancestors had left off, and manuscripts filled our files and rooms. Not too many more years passed. 14
(I had a problem with the term [the written great works] thinking you were referring to the writing of great works. That of course is not your intent, so I think you should think of a way to high light the fraise. You are in a way designating this fraise as a name, representing the work the chimps first did. I would suggest bold text, but there are other ways.)
Yesterday Ezra's daughter Lena had just finished a most beautiful novel, which, I must confess, we had not read in its entirety, when she inserted a new page into the typewriter she preferred using. No sooner had she underscored the new title and written a half dozen lines, before she stopped in the midst of a sentence. She removed the paper, laid it aside, inserted a fresh page, and began an entirely new piece. 15
(I think you need a comma after [Lena] I think the term is [half a dozen] rather than a half dozen and the word [before] should be replaced by then.)
The monitor, without waiting to see what was to follow, sought me out to report the incident just as he had witnessed it. I rushed to the scene, understandably disturbed, thinking it was finally over. The miracle had apparently, at long last, run its odd course. But this was not so! 16
(Adding the words [but this was not so.] doesn’t constitute a new sentence. It is an amendment to the previous one, not a sentence.)
One glance over her shoulder and I could see what Lena was now writing was making perfect sense. Yet - how to account for the one discarded page? I lifted it from where Lena had placed it and all became terrifyingly clear. The discarded page read: CHRONICLE OF THE PLANET'S LAST DAYS. There was no author. It went on: "There will doubtless be a shortage of time today, certainly tomorrow, to tell all. Still, an attempt must be made to record at least these last hours here. The chaos and devastation we have all brought down on ourselves for the past several days, ironically, six, may well culminate so we shall all rest on the seventh. As I set this down I have just witnessed a blinding flash to the east - and another to the nor-" 17
(I’m not a fan of using capitals to high light text. I much prefer bold text leaving the capitals were they belong. After east use an Em-dash and drop the and.)
There it finished. Lena had pulled the page from her machine and had placed it atop the pile of already finished manuscripts. The words were apparently to be the last ever written on Earth. But now, the completion of the circle which was to comprise our creations was just beginning. The monkeys, you see, had already typed all those great works WRITTEN, and those that have yet TO BE WRITTEN. Now, Lena had before her, page one of all the great works which will, alas, NEVER BE WRITTEN. 18
(I see no reason for starting a new sentence with the word [but] just replace the period with a comma and it works fine. Again pick another way of high lighting text.)
I looked, once more, over the chimpanzee's stooped shoulder. She had already begun typing the book's title: PLANET OF PEACE. 19
(Planet of Peace.)
Hi Gary ----I give you high marks in imagination and courage. Imagination; because, it takes a very active one, to conger up a concept like this one. Courage; because it takes a brave person to tackle such a complicated topic, in the name of satirical humor.
I think by enlarge you did a very commendable job, taking into a count the difficulty of the job.
The biggest draw back to this story is that it’s by nature a difficult read.
I give you high marks on this story; I don’t think there are many writers, who could have handled it better.
Talk to you soon---ablelaz.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Aw wow
This is so well written; it's funny, clever, well-paced, believable even in the face of the bizarre subject matter... Great. And the ending. The ending is so sad, but still so funny!
I loved this. *Bookmarks* -
Wow very strange. nice twist at the end there
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amazing! Last two lines are an unexpected ending. Kind of a sad implication, too. The Chronicles of the planet's last days seems familiar...
It had almost seemed, when Lena tore out the page before it was finished, that the monkeys were becoming authors themselves. You get three clappies for this, and great interest.
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I agree with dieforlove. Just try to take out some of the extra stuff, and this should be a good story.
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Another Statistical aberration!
What "extra stuff?" Did YOU read this? Or was it a case of Monkey Do...Monkey Say?"
I see you too seem to be in a similar age bracket as "Dieforlove"...I guess this would explain things. Anyway, (if you did) thanks for reading and "commenting."
GA
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Not nearly grasping enough I'm afraid. I had to stop reading. After just the first few paragraphs my mind was telling me to stop trying to amuse myself.
It needs to be simplified, shortened and more exciting than monkeys and keyboards. Enhance what makes this story great. Don't drag it out.beginning: 1, language: 1, plot: 1.
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Some Monkeys wrote a bad review!
You mean..."gripping?" I suggest you read the ENTIRE tail...ah...er...tale...and then comment. I have to, in all humility, statistics aside, disagree...and maintain...this is a good story...even a GUD story...even...an AWESOME story! (lol!) Give it another flip of the coin!
(Perhaps one of the monkeys will have written a good review under your name!)
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I am TERRIBLE at giving good reviews. It's so much easier for me to rip apart something awful than to congratulate something good. With that being said...uh...uhm...yeah...so...
Good job.
I had a lot of fun reading this piece. Very silly but not saccarine sweet ridiculousness. A perfect blend of concept and execution. Reading it was effortless. The first thing that hasn't been painful to read in a while...wow...
Point being, I enjoyed this very much. Excellent job! -
I disagree with six. I liked the title and the I kept reading just to figure out why you used such gibberish as an opening.
I laughed at parts and got mistied eyed at the thought of the last written works on earth.
Nicely done.
Brooke
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Let's see,
Hate the title and I don't think the opening hook is nearly strong enough.
I agree with the person who said they felt "planet of peace" felt a little off.
I did get the statistical abberation and I was trying to figure out if that holds true or not (not that it matters as long as is sounds plausible).
In college I was the stage manager for that play for a good friend of mine who was majoring in theatre. It was a lot of fun to perform so it took me back.
I really do like the philosophy & your twist to the whole story.
Suspiciously good grammar in this one...ah to be replaced so soon -
GARY!
Haha i'm glad i read this instead of going to sleep as i should be And as usual, after reading it felt sorry i had not read it sooner.
This was absolutely magnificent! I must say though i read it twice. At firse with the assumtion that it was simply a piece of work done for amusement. However, as i read, i found that assumption to be very wrong, and so read once more.
This, like all your works, is more than meets the eye. It says so much, and to be honest, my mind is currently all over the place. I have an urge to read it a third time.
I can say that i will be going to sleep with millions of thoughts running through my mind. This piece has inspired yet another night of thinking, and little sleep. You are amazing, and i will always admire your work.
I'd go into detail about the story, but to do this i feel i need to straighten out my thoughts. Maybe read it a third time after all?
Haha either way, the last line was superb! I do think this is by far one of my favourite of your works. Fantastic Gary, I thank you for writing this.
I look forward to discussing it in detail with you soon, seeming as now i am on holidays
Take care Gary, and please, keep writing!
Yrs.
Azaradelle.
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Superb
Yeah, this is a superb story; my favourite genre--fact and fiction merged indistinguishably.
And the concept, how could anybody think of something like this? Amazing!!!
Great job at keeping the reader glued, too.
I love your writing! Write on! -
WOW ~
Gary, Gary, Gary ~
Of all the people I could have suspected to write such a thing, you were certainly not one of them ~
Something so - wonderfully and creatively silly and all the same - literally phenomenol ~ you never cease to amaze me ~
As always, something witty ~ hilarious in the context and to hide such cuteness in you - let it all flow out!
The idea was stunning - such random thought woven within lines of pure perfection ~
You have outdone yourself once more ~
Brilliant!
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This was silly
This was really silly. This was different from your usual story mode. lol. Your usually a History person, so this was nice to see a change of pace from you.
I have to say, I really didn't care for the story, but it was a good read.
Is all this stuff true or did you make it up? lol : )
Awesome Job!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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You talk pretty
This was one ride I am glad I stood in line for. It was a perfectly understated way to get your-
aw screw trying to sound smarter than I am!
This tale (*ahem*) was great! No evident loops or twists, but enough to pull you in so that you could get lost in the layers. It's one of the few I've read on here that I could walk away from and shrug, going yeah it was a good yarn. Then later, as I was thinking about it, I realized the knot in the center and have spent a few hours picking away at it! You have cleverly hid an underlying theme that pricks and pulls and I just wanted to say Bravo! You have me like an ADD kid in a Spoon and Mirror museum- fascinated and confused!
Either that, or I'm just insane
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Good one
I guess we're not so different from our cousin primates. I'm surprised Fadiman didn't try to find a secret code in the monkeys writings before they started writing novels.
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BLAME IT ON STATISTICS...NOT MONKEYS!
Not exactly sure what you mean about Clifton Fadiman and the code...(He only put the anthology together)I didn't know him to be a conspiracy theorist, nor especially into "codes" and "algorhythms". But people seem to be missing an important point in this story...and that is, it is NOT so much a tale about MONKEYS...as about a STATISTICAL...MATHEMATICAL ABERRATION. So...the MONKEYS had little to do with what they DID! Hope you enjoyed the tale (not the tail!)
GA
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woah! O.O that was really cool GA! Monkey authors...what can I say? It's my favourite among your works that I've read. ^_^
Never to be written! XD LOL. Awesome.
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Great end
Planet of Peace, hahahahaha, priceless. Anyway monkeys on typewriters, I try to use that approach to writing, just write tons and tons and eventually something golden will come out, even if it is a golden toilet seat. Anyway I love the whole thing, monkeys brilliantly lucky and "divinely" guided. Or something. Whatever was going on when you wrote this, it rocks, plus I love monkeys. This was supremely awesome, I wonder where this would place in the monkeys' works.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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More Monkey Business!
Don't worry...I'm sure the monkeys would eventually find themselves writing this very critique! EXACTLY as it is! Glad you enjoyed this folly...this...Statistical Aberration!
Thanks for stopping by.
GA
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This story is incredible! You had me a little lost at the beginning, but something in your writing made me want to keep reading and I'm glad I did. This is the second of your works that I have read, and I can honestly say I loved them both.
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Flabbergasted!
Taken as just a story, you took me on a wild ride through this literary world. Taken as a philosophical work, you managed to grasp the essence of what people fear and what ultimately might happen. It was an awe inspiring piece, one that no one, at least I, could top.
Great job!
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Brilliant concept. I really enjoyed this, wary as I've become of monkey stories (you can only read so many). I used to read a lot of sci-fi, Asimov and such, and I feel like this would fit right in with all of them. You've even got just the right amount of humor: enough to elicit a laugh, but never becoming just silly. And I love the idea that the typing monkeys are our eyes to the future.
It does seem to get a little dense around the middle, but I expect your readers are of the intelligent variety that can handle that. And as much as I love the books "NEVER TO BE WRITTEN" being typed, "PLANET OF PEACE" strikes an off chord with me. The message it implies isn't really consistent with the story, or its tone (in my opinion). I hope I'm not stepping on your toes here, I understand the sentiment, it just feels tacked on. That ending 'button' needs to be organic.
I'm really glad I read this story, it makes me want to start reading science fiction again. It's a great idea, written with finesse, and is genuinely entertaining. I can see why Lori speaks highly of you.
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Excellent idea, and very well written.
It kept me interested all the way through.
Nicely finished off too.
Thanks for sharing,
Ken
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Wow, I liked this one Gary. I thought it to be just another Sci fi story, but it turned out to be completely different from what I thought. Monkeys writing out our works, then predicting future works..
Loved it!
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Very Good
In content, this is reminiscent of Pratchett's "Discworld." But this piece has a rapier's pace and...sharpness. -
reading your story, just as a story, it's great.
The sun’s not up yet, Gary.
You took me on a wild ride, at first I thought the monkeys symbolized all the writers who poured their energy in creating situations they themselves would never experience. Then the luck of the draw—as so few out the many actually gets recognition for their efforts and these at not always the most deserving. I saw the scientists as the publishers always ready to promote the moneymakers regardless of their value to society in general.
Squash that—sigh. Now the monkeys’ are writing the future or as the writers’ view the future. Are you inferring that so many bad things happen because we lay out the blueprints? Ideas that bloom into actions that changes the future—often for the worst since we never learn from the past.
So Lena condemns the planet before taking up the task of writing what will never be written because mankind is incapable of formatting peaceful solutions to their problems.
Of course I started reading this at 3am—so ten cups of coffee later, that’s what I came up with. If I'm way off blame it on my love for 'War and Peace' (smile) But reading your story, just as a story, it's great.
Geri
beginning: 5, ending: 5.
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Wow. I love this story GA. I can't say why though, just the way you write and the images you create, the words you use. The last line. Fabulous! I don't know what else to say, just wow!
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THANK YOU GROUP #1
I now await those comments YET TO BE written!...
while I monkey around~
GA
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