Once upon a time there was a boy called Tommy and his mummy asked him to help her tidy up in the kitchen. Tommy wanted to go and play with his toys but he said OK and went into the kitchen.
His mummy was doing the washing up and Tommy was sorting out the cupboards. He found an old cup which was brown with a picture of a rabbit on it and he picked it up.
"Can i have a drink please mum" he said.
"yes you can" his mum said "you can have some water from the tap. We run out of juice and we need to go to the shop when we have done the kitchen."
"Okay" Said Tommy and he went to the tap and got some water. He looked at the water in the cup and was sad becasue he wanted some milkshake instead. "I wish I had some milkshake" he said. He went to have some water and was really surprised when it tasted like milkshake. He said "I wisk i had some coke!" and his water suddenly tasted like coke.
Tommy took his cup to school the next day for show and tell and all his friends were really jelous of his magic cup. At dinner time they all wanted him to sit next to them so they could have their favrite drinks. Tommy helped them all to get their drinks.
Tommy grew up and when he was 24 he got married and had a baby boy called Daniel. When Daniel was 10 he gave him the cup and he had lots of fun with it as well. Daniel kept the cup and gave it to his kid when he had one.
Author notes
This is the 2 nd story i have written.
Comments
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I love the happy eva after story. GREAT JOB
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Wow!
Okay now I feel jealous! I don't think I could have even imagined anything like this at your age! Very well done. Pretty soon you'll be giving your mum a few pointers. Please keep at it. In the future I want to see your name in bookstores so I can say 'I read her stuff when she was 9!'
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A happily ever after story! Very nice! You're just too young, I couldn't even read properly when I was nine. It is at this stage that you'll be learning the basics of your writing, so I'm gonna do some reviewing.
mummy is a pronuon - the name of a special and specific person - so always captitalize it --> Mummy.
"yes you can" whenever using dialogue in inerted commas, capitalize the first letter and always put a punctuation i.e comma, period, exclamation mark before the closing commas
as in "Yes you can,"
A little typo, spelling mistake.
jelous --> jealous
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Apart from that, loved the cute little story! hope you become a great writer one day!
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