an unwanted marriage chapter 2

As she walked down the isle I couls see that she was trying not to cry. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves, I felt a lot like crying myself. I REALLY did not want to go through this. I didn't want to get married until I finished med school and settled down in practice, had a half way decent job at Boston General. But THAT obviously was not going to happen. True, I only had one semester left, and I had already been promised a position pending my graduation, but even still, why couldn't they just waite one more semester before forcing this girl on me?

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I only half listened as we were married. I didn't want to listen, I didn't want this to be happening, I wanted to wake up and find all this to be a bad dream, I wanted to wake up to find that I wasn't engaged, wasn't being married off. "As long as you both shall live?" The pastor asked. I saw Zachary take a deep breath. Oh please, let me wake up from this nightmare! "I do." Please, let me wake up! Don't let this be happening to me! "I... I do." I said weakly.

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I hadn't felt so proud since my son James had been married. My Olivia had grown up so much! I beamed with pride as they kissed. They would live happily together, I just knew it! I grasped my wife's hand, she was crying with happiness, I felt a bit like crying myself. My Olivia was marrying the next brilliant doctor, Harvard Medical school, top of his class, yes, he was a fine young man, I knew my Olivia would be very happy in life.

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My chest filled with emotion as my Son was married. He was such a great person, that girl was very lucky to have him. I knew that Zachary would treat her well, they would be very happy together. I knew that Zachary, once he got over his fear of intercorse, would make her into a very fine mother. What more could a girl want? My son was rich, handsome, and kind. She was the luckyest girl alive.

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I couldn't help but cry as my Olivia was married. I knew that she was scared, she had cried silently on the way here, but I knew that there wasn't a better choice for her than Zachary. He was a good boy, she'd be alright. Everything would be fine right? But I couldn't help noticing that they both seemed so unhappy. Certainly they seemed to have had to force themselves to go through with the vows, and later the kiss. Especially the kiss. As we helped them into the limo that would bring them to the airport so they could go to Hawaii I couldn't help wondering what would happen there. If they had had to force themselves to go through with a short kiss than how... no, that was for them to work out. They were adults now, married adults. They must find ways to make it work.

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We didn't talk on the ride to the airport. We had been herded into the limo, and our parents well wishes were shouted at us as the limo pulled away. Olivia looked for a moment like she wanted to jump out the window and run, but she just waved at her parents, and promissed to write to them. I waved too, but I wasn't feeling up to saying anything. I felt that I may be sick if I tried to speak. So we rode in silence, got onto the plane in silence, and Olivia just stared silently out the window tears running down her cheeks. I knew she was unhappy, I was too, but I wanted to comfort her, I just didn't know how. I wanted to let her know that no matter what, I would never do anything to her or about her that she wasn't ready for. But I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say, and I didn't want to make her more upset.

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I think I was in shock. I pretended to be happy when the wedding was over, promissing to write to my parents and sibilings, but really I felt numb. Tears were running down my cheeks, I couldn't stop them. I was married! I had actually promissed myself to Zachary for eturnity, promissed to love and honor him! And he had promissed the same. But what did that mean? If was to love him, and he me, what did that involve? Didn't love mean doing IT? How could I face it? How was I supposed to bring myself to do it? When I had kissed him, there had been no sparks, no fireworks, no leap of joy, I had just felt like I was going to cry. As I sat staring out the window Zachary made several gestures like he was going to say something, but he never did, he's just sag back into his seat again. When the stewardess came with our meals she also offered us wine. Zachary accepted. I had cranberry juice instead. I had never had wine, and I didn't want to start now, I was only sixteen! I was just a kid! Hwo could they do this to me?! I mean, yeah, I know that in our religion it is tradition for a girl to be married at sixteen, but I wanted to finish highschool, impossible to do if I had children. Children. I was NOT ready to have children! I was not ready to do IT especially not with Zachary! I know a lot of girls my age do IT, but they do it with someone they like, I didn't like Zachary. Not one bit!

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The flight seemed to last for years. I ended up just reading my medicle journal that had come in the mail yesterday. With all the unexpected drama of the marrage I haden't had a chance to look at it. I did now. I tried to read it, but I couldn't focus. I dreaded what would happen when the plane landed. I had been online last night, looking up stuff on the hotel. I had seen pictures of the honeymoon swete, I know it's cheating to figure out what it looks like ahead of time, but I wanted to be prepared. When we got our luggage I offered to carry Olivia's suite case for her. "I've got it! I'm not helpless." She snapped. Great. The first words she had spoken to me except the rehearsed words that were part of the marrage ceremony, and all she did was snap at me. I decided not to call her on her rudeness. Tecnically, as her husband I had the right to punish her for being insubordenent, but I knew she was under a lot of pressure. So I let it go. When I opened the door to our hotel room I groaned. Apparently our parents had paid the extra hundred dollars a night to make our stay more extravegent. There were huge vases of tropical flowers everywhere, boxes of sweets, and all sorts of things. It was all very nice, and I couldn't help thinking that if the circumstances were diffrent, I would be really happy with the room. But right now, it just seemed like our parents were tossing a cloth soaked with lighter fluid onto the fire, and not in a good way. Olivia shoved past me and began unpacking silently. I couldn't take it anymore. We were married, wether we liked it or not.

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"Ok, look." Zachary said. I turned to look at him. He had a serious look on his face, an almost Vulcan like expression. "We are married, and like it or not, there are certain things that are required of us now. One of those things is that we at least PRETEND to be happy. I'm not going to make you hang out with me. You go do what you want durring the day, enjoy Hawaii. But we WILL meet for dinner every night at the hotel restoraunt or somewhere else that we decide on. So go on, do whatever you want, I have a lot of homework to catch up on seeing as I'll be missing two weeks worth fo class, so I am going to be staying here for the most part. But you should go out and enjoy yourself. I'll meet you for dinner at seven tonight in the restoraunt ok?" Zachary said. I was going to answer, but than I didn't know what to say. He had asked me if I was ok with that plan, but I just couldn't bring myself to speak. I thought if I did I might start to cry again. So I just nodded. Zachary gave me one nod and shut himself in the bathroom. I grabbed my bathing sute and towel and sunscrean and headed out to the beach.

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Dinner that night was probably one of the most unpleasent things I had ever gone through. We put in our order, and just sat there sipping our drinks not looking at eachother. I just couldn't think of anything to say. I knew I was in charge, knew that I was the one who had to set down the rules, and decide what we were going to do, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to force Olivia to do something she didn't want to do. I also knew that we were getting a few stares from the other dinners. We were a married couple out on our honeymoon, we should be holding hands, and playing with each others feet under the table and flirting like mad with eachother right? Wasn't that what newly married couples did when they were dinning out? "Mabye we should just get room service from now on." I muttered. I had hoped for a weak smile, I would have setteled for a glare, but Olivia didn't react at all. I sighed. Why did she have to make this so difficult on both of us? Yeah she was unhappy, so was I, but at least I was trying to make this work, I was trying to get to know her. But she wouldn't gvie me anything to work with. I had no idea what made my WIFE tick. Oh man, I didn't even KNOW what my wife liked! After several minutes of silence I tried again to start conversation. "So... what is school like for you? Do you like your teachers and stuff?"

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School! He was asking me about school! He should KNOW that I wasn't going to be able to finish school! Why did he have to bring it up here? "You... are... a ... jerk!" I hissed furiously. Zachary looked slightly taken aback. That just made me more angry. Now not only was he being mean bringing up school, but he was mocking me! I wanted to get up and walk away, but our food came then and instead of leaving I just focused on my food and ignored Zachary. He tried to appologise, tried to ask what he had done, but I was NOT going to answer him, I hated him! I hated this whole horrible business! Why me? Why HIM? Of all the guys in the world why was I stuck with HIM???

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Olivia seemed really angry. She refused to speak to me, refused to look at me, for the rest of dinner. I had no idea why she was so upset suddenly. Did she like school? Did she resent being taken out of school for two weeks to go to Hawaii? Was that the problem? After dinner we went back to our room silently. We had come to the thing I most dreaded. Night, alone with Olivia until morning. What was I to do? I knew what was EXPECTED of us to do. I knew that I should make her... but I just couldn't bring myself to do that to her. I just couldn't order her to do that. And if we were both unwilling, it would be pure torture for both of us, and neather of us was very willing. I looked arround the room, hoping for inspiration as to what we could do, something totally diffrent than what we were... expected to do. "Hey you want to play Monopoly?" I asked. Olivia's reply was a furious glare. "ok... I'll take that to mean no. Do you want to watch a movie?" Another furious glare. "Ok, how about cards? Scrabble, TV?" Olivia sat down on the bed with her arms crossed glaring at me. I threw up my hands in defeat. Fine, if she wanted to be that way she could just sit and stare at the wall for all I cared. I had tried to be friendly, but if she wanted to be a spoiled brat than to hell with it. I got out my laptop and my text books, and started to do my homework.

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I sat watching Zachary do his homework for a while. Than I got bored and went into the bathroom. There was a jacoozy tub and all sorts of scented soaps, so I took a long bubble bath. Than I spent an hour drying and playing with my hair. Finally I couldn't stand the boredom anymore. I went into the bedroom to find Zachary right where I had left him, completly absorbed in his work. I went over to see what he was doing. The text book had grafic pictured that made me slightly queazy. I couldn't understand a thing that the book said. But I couldn't help but be a bit curious. I had always been curious about the human body, but I got really queasy at the sight of blood. "What is that?" I asked pointing to a chart.

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I jumped slightly starteled. I hadn't heard Olivia come out of the bathroom. I glanced at what she was pointing at. It was a diagram of the heart, I was studying heart surgery as one of my classes. "That is a heart." I said. Olivia frowned at me. "That is NOT the shape of a heart!" She said as if I was making fun of her. "A human heart isn't the shape of a halmark heart. See, this here is the..." "Whatever, Zachary." Olivia took a few steps away from me and turned to glare at me furiously. "You know, just because you are going to HARVARD doesen't mean I am stuped! Just because I'm sixteen and have blond hair doesen't make me some dumb blond!" I stared at Olivia as she ranted at me. Somehow I had offended her AGAIN and I hadn't meant to. Not knowing what to do I pulled up a basic anatomy web sight and showed her the section on the heart. I didn't say anything as she read the info on the page. She didn't speak eather, she just read silently. Than she turned away and sat on the windowsill staring out twards the beach and the setting sun.

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I felt kind of sheepish. I felt REALLY stuped. How could I not know what a heart looked like? I had yeleld at Zachary for making fun of me, and really, I was the one who was being stuped. I just sat there looking out at the beach. It was a beautiful sunset, but I didn't really see it. I wanted to go home, back to MY home. My real home, where my sibilings lived. I did not want to stay here, marreid to some stranger. I brished away a tear furiously. I needed to stop crying, Zachary must think me a complete baby. But he wasn't paying atention to me. He had gone back to his homework. Arround ten thrity I was exhausted, it has been a very long day. But there was a major problem. There was only one bed, the king size bed that we were obviously supposed to share. "How are we going to sleep?" I asked. Zachary glanced at me, than he looked arround the room, realizing the same problem. "You sleep on the bed, I'll take the floor. I think that would be best for now." Zachary said. I nodded, and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. As I was brushing my teeth I started to realize something. Zachary could have made me sleep with him, but he didn't. Why not? He was a guy, didn't all guys always want to do IT? Mabye I had turned him off, mabye by giving him the cold shoulder he realized that I didn't want to do it. I was very grateful. I had been dreading night, I had been sure he was going to at the very least insist that we share a bed, but he didn't. Not only had he given me permission not to sleep with him tonight, but he had voulenteered to sleep on the floor, giving me the big bed to myself. As I came out of the bathroom Zachary was standing there, waiting patiently for his turn. "Thanks." I muttered. Zachary nodded, made a slight movement as if to grasp my shoulder, than he was gone, shutting the bathroom door behind him.