The Kidnapping

The Kidnapping

She knew his ship had put in on the other side of the island, and that after rowing their Captain around to her jetty his crew had taken off for a night of revelry on another island nearby. She could picture him sneaking across the beach, that stupid parrot on his shoulder and the razor sharp cutlass by his side. She could hear him trying to sneak across the porch, scuff, thump, scuff, thump, with his hand carved peg leg. Maybe she was only a lowly pirate wench, but she was smarter than any pirate she had ever known, and she had known a few, aye, pox on 'em, she had known quite a few. He had taken her for ransom when she was but a wee child of five. The ransom hadn't got paid and twenty years later, after twenty years of living beneath the Jolly Roger, she was free; and she was about to have her revenge.

She had come back to the island where she grew up and found the plantation in ruins, her family gone no one knew where. With the money she had taken from the ship's safe she had rebuilt, then she had let it be known to the people at the port that she was home. She knew it wouldn't be long before he came to reclaim her. She was counting on it. She was planning to count a lot on it.

She was laying on the bed totally naked when the door burst open. There he stood in the candle light, framed in the doorway with his mouth agape as he stared at her new tattoo, the one of his arch enemy, Redbeard. The location of the tattoo made the beard real. It was crucial to her plan that he keep his eyes on her. She didn't think that would be a problem. She’d seen that look in his piggy little eyes before as they bulged out at her near to popping. If the anger didn’t do it, the lust would.

He made a noise that sounded like he was trying to imitate the parrot. Then he cleared his throat and tried again. "Ar, my pretty. There you be. And with your treasure chest displayed all open for me. Let me pilot my dinghy into your port. Har har har. Smile Redbeard, smile for me sweet."

"I paid out Captain. I'm no longer part of your crew."

"Yer part of my crew until I say your not, wench, then your part of Davy Jones' crew." He reached for the cutlass and took another step, his eyes boring into her like he wished something else was. She shifted position to give him a better view. He was actually drooling as he took another step forward. Then he swung the peg leg ahead. "There's a reason they call this a cut lass." he grinned.

With a yell from him and a squawk from the parrot he lurched sideways and the cutlass skittered under the dresser. His peg leg had gone through the thin carpet and was wedged into a hole in the floor as planned. She danced just out of his reach. "I guess you'll be the one held for ransom now Captain." she laughed. As she danced she sang an old ditty he had taught her.

The Pirate Lass

Oh for the life of a pirate lass

Tons of silk, lots of brass

Never to attend a class

A roving on the sea, oh

Give me the life of a pirate lass

Unbound hair, scant clad ass

No more churches, no more mass

A roving on the sea oh

I'll never wear a corset any more

Won't have to go out shopping in a store

Roving on the open sea, a gypsy to the core

Live the life of leisure evermore

Cheers for the life of a pirate lass

Living free and talking crass

Doesn't matter who you sass

A roving on the sea oh

I'm for the life of a pirate lass

Giggle when I pass my gas

Fortune I will soon amass

A roving on the sea oh

I'll never wear a corset any more

Won't have to go out shopping in a store

Roving on the open sea, a gypsy to the core

Live the life of leisure evermore

My pirate love and me forever more

"Yes Captain, my pirate love, Redbeard and me will be happy forever more on the ransom your crew pays to get you back. Don’t forget, I know just what you have, and where too." She picked up the cutlass and swung it. "I think we’ll have parrot and dumplings for supper." she laughed at him as the green body went dashing headless across the floor.