As I lay here
on my bed
as still and silent
as the dead1
So many thoughts
and questions I ponder
about life's essence
its beauty and wonder2
About the universe
that spans so vast
about my future
my present and past3
So many thoughts
running through my head
so many words
that are never said4
These unanswered thoughts
finally take their flight
I close my eyes
and sleep for the night
Author notes
So we know you read the rules, put 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day' in your AN
A contest entry
- deep thinkers by Elvenfairy.
180 points, ended October 20, 2007, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - For The unknown by Incroyable.
323 points, ended December 12, 2007, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want your best...POEMS!!! by Le Masquerade.
170 points, ended July 29, 116 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry Contest! by Willowleaf-.
395 points, ended August 21, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - [Insert Awesome Contest Name I Have't Thought Of Yet Here] by VioletConcept.
450 points, ended August 15, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - OVER HERE!!! JOIN!!! by Unice the geek.
100 points, ended August 16, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry and More by Mistress Cheetah.
350 points, ended September 10, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Everything! ENTER! by Sheilasbabygal4life.
325 points, ended October 15, 99 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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This was good. Keep up the good work. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest!
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i don't really get it. sorry.
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You will when you are older and have the pressures and responsibilities on your shoulders that come with life.
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very nice. all i have to say now is congrats, welcome to the finalist list. good luck in my competition!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Awesome, thanks!
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The poem has a nice flow, but especially when the topic isn't clear, you really need to put your topic in.
Best of luck
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Topic isn't clear? What do you mean? I think the theme of this poem is very clear...
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Good poem. I've gotten a bunch of poems in my contest and this is one of the better ones. I liked it a lot... Future advice; Try posting your poems on allpoetry.com. That where poems belong! Good luck in the contest!
-Vio -
Magnificent job! I loved your poem, but what topic did that fit into to? Other than that, keep going and good luck in my contest
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GREAT POEM! I really enjoyed reading it and each part rhymed perfictly. Thanx for entering good job!
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Once again I am most impressed. Simple words that have a deeper meaning, therein lies your talent.
Short, yes, but no less meaningful. The flow is excellent, and makes for an easy read. Your poem displays the thoughts everyone has had at one point or another, but does it so well that I feel like I'm reading about something completely new.
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Once again, thank you very much for the excellent comment. It means a lot to me when people express their like for my writings. You did it in a very flattering way as well
Thanks!
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Wow, this is impressive! It's so calming...I love the effect it has. I also like the layout, which greatly contributes to your poem, and I certainly like the background, which couldn't match better! Wonderful job, Zach!
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Thanks again. I loved all your compliments about the poem. It is what keeps me writing.
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Ah yes, so many times have I laied in bed and wonderd the same before drifting off. Another good write.
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This is a good story,Keep on writen
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lol, I tooo often wonder and think about the world as I lay waiting for sleep to come. It is probably the reason I always have such bad insomnia anyways, I liked your poem. Thanks for entering my contest!
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I liked the simplicity of the poem. A poem is all about feeling comfortable with what you're writing and making it appear strong, even with just a few words. You did a great job here. The rhyming was great, too.
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Thanks alot man. I am glad you liked it, and thanks for the great compliment! ; )
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wow
This really surprised me. I really liked it-It flowed and the rhyming was pulled off, which is a good bonus. I liked the theme, and I think you are a good writer. You seem to have everything come together in a great way. Keep writing ^_^
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Well thank you very much! I am so glad you liked it. Positive comments like that do help me to keep writing.
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This was good,the ryhming was excellent. The concept was good i.e. how we ponder about things at night when we can't sleep. Good job!
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Thank you very much! I actually sat down and wrote the whole thing in like 5-10 minutes, but I was still very happy with how it turned out. I am one of those people that will lay in bed at night sometimes for an hour and just think about stuff. So, this poem was right along the lines of how I feel many times, and I figured that alot of others do the same.
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VERY NICE
It's always nice
Some of the time
To find a poem,
meter...rhyme.
And one whose poet
Also sought
To write it
With a little thought.
GA
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Oh thank you so much for the response! Looks like you are good at writing poetry as well.
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