Intent-Chapter 1

Chapter One1

Abrianna sat back and stared at the page before her. The black lines seemed harsh and grim against the white paper and the light blue lines contrasted sharply with the flow of the black ones she created. She liked that it mirrored the intent of her words.
“Abrianna Lynne! Come for dinner! And don’t make me call again!”
Abrianna rolled her eyes and closed the notebook. “I’m coming!” she yelled. She hadn’t responded the first three times her mother had called, and ignoring her again would most result in a weekend grounding.
Before leaving her basement bedroom, she turned around and glanced at the closed notebook on her bed. Whereas seconds before it had been alive with the raw emotions she had poured into it, the plain, spiral notebook now lay motionless and innocent on her lavender bedspread. She sighed; almost disappointed that the papers weren’t screaming the words she had written. Shaking off the feeling, she tossed her pen on top of the notebook, and ran up the stairs.
When she reached the dining table two floors up from her room, both her parents and her two little brothers sat in their respective chairs, waiting for her. As she approached, they all turned to look at her.
“Why do you always need a personal invitation for dinner?” her father questioned, upset that his dinner had been delayed.
Sorry you had to wait ten seconds to stuff your face.
“Sorry, Dad. I got a little absorbed in my…” she hesitated, then said, “homework. Sorry.”
“Alright. Sit down so we can bless the food.”
Abrianna hurriedly sat down on the seat next to her father, and at his request, offered a blessing on their dinner. As soon as everyone said “Amen”, the kitchen filled with sounds of forks on plates and light conversation about the day. Abrianna, however, remained silent and dutifully puts small amounts of food into her mouth. When asked a question she answered in as few words as possible and her eyes never left her plate.
Throughout the meal, her mother, Julie, watched her. Something was wrong with her daughter lately. Abrianna used to be so talkative and opinionated. But now the sixteen year-old sat in silence. This was so unlike her.
Abrianna finished her meal quickly and asked to be excused. She was given permission almost immediately from her father and she sprinted down the two flights of stairs to her room and flopped down on her bed. She stared at the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars stuck spontaneously on the ceiling. She had a lot on her mind and somehow those silly stars helped her concentrate.
She rolled over onto her side and closed her eyes.
Why are things like this? Why can’t I fix them? Why can’t I stop what I’m doing?
Unable to find the answers in her own head, Abrianna rolled over and swept up the spiral notebook from where it had fallen on the floor. After a brief delay trying to locate her pen, she turned to a fresh page and began to write.
I find myself haunted
Despair has returned
Screaming undaunted
Wrong lessons learned.
She stared at the words, wondering what the last line meant. She often wrote things even she didn’t completely understand. If she dug deep enough, though, her head could always figure out what her hand had written.
As she picked up her pen again, the door opened and her mom entered. Abrianna jumped and quickly closed the notebook, pushing it behind her. Sitting down at the end of the bed, Julie began to talk.
Don’t ask about the notebook.
“Bri? I’m worried about you. Is everything all right? You seem so…I don’t know. Different. Not yourself.”
“Everything’s fine. I’m just stressed with school and all.”
“I know you are. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. If you’re having problems, I want you to tell me.”
“Fine, Mom.”
Like that’ll happen.
“I mean really talk to me. I want to be the one you run to.”
I’d rather run away.
“I get it, Mom.”
“Ok. Well then.” Julie shifted uncomfortably in the silence that followed.
“So.” Abrianna rolled her eyes as her mother drew out the ‘o’ in ‘so’.
Could she be anymore cliché?
“What’s in the notebook?” Julie asked as she reached for it.
Wrong move, madre.
“No!” Julie jumped as her daughter snatched the book from her grasp. “This is personal! Don’t you ever touch it! I’ve given you every answer you wanted to hear. Now get out!”
Julie reared back as if slapped. As Abrianna looked at her mother’s hurt eyes, conflicting emotions arose in her. One part of her wanted to reach out and hug her mom and apologize, but another part was glad that she had hurt her mother.
If she’d only stop nagging.
Trying not to cry, Julie shook her head and said, “Remember, Stephanie and Derek are coming down tomorrow afternoon.”
“Oh joy.”
Bring on the torture.
“So I need you home and on your best behavior by four.” Julie continued, choosing to ignore her daughter’s heavily sarcastic comment.
Abrianna watched as her mother stood up and left the room, glancing back once with sad eyes. As soon as she could no longer hear her mother’s footsteps, Abrianna moaned and laid down heavily on her pillow, thinking about Stephanie’s impending visit.
She and her older sister had never gotten along. Ever since Steph was a teenager and would climb out Abrianna’s window at two a.m. to go make out with boys, they had had a difficult relationship. They fought over clothes, shoes, the color of the sky, everything. Stephanie argued nonstop with their parents and Abrianna had spent many nights sitting on the stairs below her parent’s bedroom eavesdropping on the shouted arguments between parents and daughter. Yet she had always loved Stephanie. It just seemed that Stephanie never returned the sentiment.
And who would? Look at me.
As soon as Steph had turned 18 two years before, she had moved out, apparently repulsed by the thought of living at home. The family rarely saw her.
And good riddance.
Abrianna guessed that Stephanie was visiting tomorrow for one of two reasons: Either she needed money, or somebody had died…and she needed money.
And, of course, Steph’s boyfriend would be joining them. He followed Steph everywhere. He’s like the stray puppy that never goes home. But Abrianna liked him. He was smart, funny, witty, and handsome.
And rich too.
Abrianna didn't trust him though.
Shaking thoughts of her older sister out of her mind, she returned to the waiting notebook. She felt the blank pages seducing her to fill them. She stared sadly at them, wishing she could refuse.
I hate you.
Pen poised dangerously on the white page, she sat in silence, no words presenting themselves.
Suddenly, she screamed and threw the pen across the room where it bounced off the opposite wall and shattered. She spun around and buried her face in the soft comforter and began to sob.
Not again.
A cry escaped her throat and she began to sob into her pillow.
“Please. Oh please, no. Not again. No, no, no. Stop. Let it stop. Please, God let this stop. Save me.”2

************************************3

“Abrianna Lynne Cook?”
“Present” droned Abrianna. “And I go by Bri.”
“Miss Cook, in my class you will be called by your proper name. The name given to you at birth.”
By parents on crack. What kind of name is Abrianna anyway?
“Whatever.”
“‘Whatever’ is not a full sentence, Miss Cook.”
“Ok.”
History teacher on an ego-trip. Lovely.
“Whatever.” Mr. Harolds glared at her, but ignored this and continued down the list.
“Drake Craven?”
“Here.”
Or at least he will be until you start teaching.
Bri ignored the rest of the names and stared out the window. The sun was peeking through the rain clouds.
Stupid sun. You ruined my perfectly dismal day.
She sat there, glaring endlessly at the torpid gray sky, the sun swimming in and out of view behind the thick veil.
“Bri!” Abrianna jumped, snapping back to reality. “Bri, you didn’t hear a word I just said!” Bri looked around, shocked. She was standing in the hallway, her best friend chatting her ear off.
“What happened?” she asked.
“Other than you ignoring me? What was that? You didn’t even say hello to me!” Katelyn paused in her rant, noticing Bri was looking around as if lost.
How the hell did I get here?
“Earth to Abrianna! Come in, astronaut.” She mocked, waving her hand in Bri’s face. Bri grabbed her wrist and gently moved it, staring hard at Katy.
“How did I get here?”
An incredulous look swept across Katy’s face. “What do you mean, ‘how did you get here’?”
I mean exactly what I said. How—did—I—get—here?
Katy’s face slipped into her ‘I’m worried you’ve lost it’ face. “Bri, what is up with you lately?”
Bri scrambled to cover her mistake “What? Nothing. Nothing, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
Nice save, half-wit.
Katy didn’t look the least bit convinced. “Abrianna Lynne,”
Uh oh. The full name manuever.
“I have known you for six years. I think I know how to read you. Now tell me what’s going on!”
How can I tell you what I don’t know?
Bri had a thought. She began laughing. It was too loud and obviously forced, but she continued giggling as her best friend raised her eyebrows. “Oh man, Katy. You should’ve seen the look on your face!” More hysterical laughter. More eyebrow-raising.
Great idea. Now she thinks I'm completely insane.
“Oh yeah I got you good. You totally took me seriously.” The laughter grew panicked and shrill. “Sometimes you are just so blonde, Katy. You give us golden-haired lasses a bad name. Ha ha ha…yeah.”
Yeah, that worked.
She almost rolled her eyes at herself and clamped her mouth shut as Katy eyed her suspiciously.
“That was a way pathetic attempt, Bri.” Katy stared hard at Bri until Bri averted her eyes and stared at the patterns on the tile floor.
There's four tiles that look exactly the same.
“So.” Bri mentally kicked herself as she drew out the ‘o’.
I’m my own worst nightmare.
“So I have to get to class. We’ll talk later.” Bri let out a sigh of relief. Katy narrowed her eyes at this. “Make no mistake, Abrianna Lynne Cook, we will talk about it.
Marvelous .
“Whatever you say” Bri mumbled. “But there’s nothing wrong.” Katy snorted in derision, tossed her blonde curls, whipping Bri in the face in the process, and stomped off down the hallway.
Brilliant, Bri. Sheer genius.