Unlocking My Soul

Beneath the lies of deceit and hate
Shines a hope, to those who seek.
For God will shepherd the righteous,
the sheep of his flock.

He hides the key, among the rubble,
one that fits only one lock.
Our poor souls, prowl through the world,
in search for its match.

Bound by the custody of sin,
Tied down in grief.
Crawling in the darkness,
Looking for a light.

Right before my eyes,
glows the key to my soul.

The chains of humanity leave me,
Free to spread my wings
As I plunder in the depths
Of my newly opened soul.

Deep down within me
Were the scrolls of time.
The eternal plan of salvation,
and the answer to my prayers.

Those who long for a realm of hope
No longer have to search very far.
For the space is now filled in
With the fate lying in their soul.

Floating on a heavenly cloud,
Freed from all anguish.
Standing with a valiant light,
Casting away the darkness.

Author notes

This is a strong value of mine: hope. I live by that value, and pray that it takes me along the guiding path of God's plan. Just a way to vent out my feelings.

For the contest "Poet's Challenge":
"I have read the rules and if I qualify for the Round 1, I will continue onwards to the finals."

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Melissa Loves Jeffy
    December 27, 2007

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    Wow!!!!! This is a reallllly amazing poem!!! Its a good way to live by. I love your use of vocabulary. Great job keep writing! Good luck in the contest!

  • Myeisha
    November 20, 2007
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    Thanks for entering!!!

    I love this poem ,good job!!!

    Keep writing!!!

  • the shorty
    October 8, 2007

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    This is a perspective I doubt many other people have written about. It is a truly beautiful message, that should be more openly expressed. Very nice.


  • Lady-Jane
    October 3, 2007

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    Nice work! This gave me hope just from reading it. It was wonderful and deffinately inspirational. Good luck!


  • Asfand
    September 28, 2007
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    Wonderful entry ~

    A very nice entry for sure ~

    I disagree with my co-judge on the 'hiding a key among the rubble'. As far as I could decode, it is not God in rubble, rather the rubble of life's queries and questions. I like the sit and ponder factor in poems, so I really enjoyed this ~

    The metaphors were very nicelt crafted here. Repetition of 'key' again and again ruined the flow AND the feel to the poem ~

    Being directed towards a specific audience, it did not gather me much in attention but there is no doubt it is well-written ~

    *Deep down within me
    Was the scrolls <-- (either this should be scroll or the 'was' should be 'were) of time.*

    Good luck and thanks for entering ~

    Title ~ 8.7/10
    Depth ~ 8.9/10
    Imagery ~ 13.4/15
    Format ~ 9.3/10
    Feeling ~ 9/10
    Theme ~ 18.6/20
    Flow ~ 14/15
    Understanding ~ 9.7/10

    Total ~*~ 91.6/100





  • Maui Jane silver member
    September 23, 2007

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    I've never been a poetry fan but this is a very moving poem. You've portrayed hope as an ultimate achievement and your descriptions are very well formed. Great Job!


  • callthexylophone
    September 23, 2007

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    I like how you did a Christian/religious poem, it's a lot better than the emo ones I've been judging lol. The metaphors aren't bad, but they could be better, and I like your vocabulary... let's see.... oh, I did not like "he hides a key among rubble" because I didn't understand it, it didn't come across clearly. Are you talking about Jesus? Because he isn't hidden under rubble, he's quite well known ^_^. Other than that, not a bad write.
    Title ~ 8/10 (I thought it was an emo poem from the title, doesn't mean it's a bad title, though.)
    Depth ~ 9/10
    Imagery ~ 13/15
    Format ~ 8/10
    Feeling ~ 8.5/10
    Theme ~ 17/20
    Flow ~ 13/15
    Understanding ~ 9/10

    Total ~*~ 85.5/100

    Good luck in the contest!

  • Asfand
    September 21, 2007
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    Poems are not allowed in 'The Writer's Challenge'. I'll be having a seperate 'Poetic Challenge' so you may place this in that one.

    As for the poem itself, hope is indeed a great value. This was captivating and brilliant. Hope you will enter this in the Poetic Challenge ~

    Thanks!

  • abba12
    September 19, 2007
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    hope is why im still alive today. hope kept me going, hope that everything i was going through was for His ultimate purpous, that He would show me the reasons one day. i love this poem, its well done.

    however, this is a story contest so im not accepting poems. still a great write though, good work.

1 - 9 of 9