What parent hasn’t been asked questions they really didn’t want to answer? Aww, be honest now. If you have a child that has reached the age of six, questions have arisen that have made you squirm just a little tiny bit. Sure, all the promises of being “totally honest and open about everything” were there, but---.
Being truthful; “totally honest and open” with a five-year old can be a little sticky at times. After all, the "stork" story isn’t a good way to go, yet sitting down with a kindergarten kid and showing a video of the miracle of birth isn’t necessarily the best answer either. In any case, parents can be hit with some weird stuff at some unusual times. In fact the timing doesn’t matter to a child, they just want the answer to the question.
So here we are, me and my family, driving through Houston, Texas on a Saturday morning. Traffic at its normal sixty-five or seventy miles per hour (and that’s the merging lanes), radio going full volume on any of the twenty seven stations my wife has selected so far. This is not the normal route when we come to Houston to visit relatives, so everything is new to the kids.
Added to the radio cacaphony, are instructions from three young people telling me; “Look Daddy.” I’m getting whiplash to accompany the headache from that constant changing of radio stations.
Then over the din comes a higher pitched fourth young voice asking; “Why doesn’t that lady have any clothes on?”
My five year old daughter has made herself heard. Not only that, she has picked out a billboard advertising “Nude Dancing!” Oh great, let my wife field this one, I’m busy driving in four lanes of traffic.
Silence, nothing but silence. Not only that, traffic has ground to a halt preventing us from passing the billboard. Not a small sign mind you, but a full-sized billboard and the “lady” in question even sticks up past the top of the sign. Cocktail glasses and bubbles tipped on each side of the high heels of this woman turned so provocatively, head pivoted back to face traffic, all on a black background to give maximum effect.
“Go on ‘Daddy’, answer your daughter,” said my radio-station-switching wife. She did the same thing with the TV remote so the car radio wasn’t something unusual.
“Uh, she’s dancing. Yes, that’s what she is doing, dancing.”
Whatever the problem was with the traffic, it had cleared. Now things had started to move and the offending sign was out of sight. Unfortunately it was not out of mind. Little girls get something in their mind and it can stay there for a long, long time. That particular fact never changes as they get to be big girls.
Now the pose struck by the figure on the sign was a type of dance pose, or something like that I at least hoped. In any case the little girl asking the question had just completed her second year of ballet. Foot-in-mouth mistake.
Oh, there’s that silence again. Maybe it was forgotten.
“Daddy?” Fat chance.
“Yes, what is it?”
“If she doesn’t have any clothes, how can she have a recital?” After hours and hours of lessons and practice, she had a recital.
Oh man, no way to answer that! In fact all my concentration was being spent looking through tears of laughter as I tried to find the shoulder of the freeway.
Adults saw “Nude Dancing.” A five-year old girl saw a dancer who should have a “recital.”
Believe me, no matter what you think you know, a young child will take you to heights yet to be explored.
Author notes
When you see through the eyes of a child the world has different colors.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
kids say the darnedest things and at the most inopportune times. this story is great and from what it sounds a happy memory. one of daughter.
great job on writing this. I enjoyed reading this.
Kat
-
ah the sweetness of daughters you write so well I love it. I will come back to read the rest. have you written a book? This is what I like and do not have the talent to write. keep on writing.
-
-
The talent is there I believe, it just frightens. Start writing...whatever comes out, write. Jumbled as it seems you will find your voice.
-
-
Great Work
This is unusual and nothing I have ever read about though I like it, it has a different edge to it. Continue personalising the story or piece you are writing as it is suitable. I feel that you have great talent so I will be the first to encourage you to further continue it. Best Wishes, Lozza -
Hmm. This is an intriguing story. Looking at things the way a child does is both difficult and eye-opening. Not to mention amusing at times. Very nicely written, and very interesting piece. Thanks for sharing this.
-
Good story
I bet your wife was laughing when you tried to answer that one. What a fun memory to have.
-
-
Oh yes, between changing radio stations she was most likely cracking up at my discomfort. In fact she put me in a lot of those situations; not because she couldn't answer but to see what form my reply would take.
-
-
I think there is a kids book out there, something like "how to answer all those crazy questions kids will ask!"
My son is only 4, but he regularly asks me embarrassing questions or, worse, does embarrassing things! Like Sarahhitch commented, he's asked exactly how he got out of my tummy, how he got in there, and what was he doing in there the whole time if he can't "swim" yet :-) -
-
Isn't it just SO much fun? The great part is next --- "How did I get IN?" Go on, answer that one.
Jim
-
-
Lets just say, been there and got the t-shirt, okay not so much naked ladies on billboards, but questions on how babies get in and out.
I have to agree being honest is the best answer, my eldest is 8, then I have a 7, 5 and 3 year old. So I have started to answer these questions and will continue to.
Thank you for sharing this fantastic story.
Sarah
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
-
LOL
-
hen over the din comes a higher pitched forth young voice asking; -----"fourth" instead of "forth"
This was awesome! I do think you could have expanded this a bit and stretched out the ending a bit but a nice piece nonetheless.
Excellent story! -
-
This is a true story but I'll go over it again and see if there is a way to stretch it out. All I remember is having to give the explaination and laughing.
-
-
fantastic! very funny. Its stories like these that make me glad I don't have kids(not that I dont want a few some day). I wouldn't know how to even begin to explain that to a six year old.
Although the story was great it left me wanting more.
-
"...constantly changing of radio stations." You either have to take off the 'ly', or take out the 'of' for this sentence to be grammatically correct.
Ah. 'Out of the mouth of babes...' lol. This was great. There were a few punctuation errors in there, but all in all this was a great piece.
Good job, Jazz. I really liked this.
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
