The Woman With A Winged-horse

The Woman With A Winged-horse1

Well here is another tale from my grandaa.2

He told it to me when I was sick with the flu.3

And had to stay in bed for a week.4

Well here I am stuck in this bed.5

Grandaa I am bored.6

Aye lass but when you are sick running fever.7

The bed is where ye will be.8

How about if I tell you a little of our history.9

Aye grandaa I would be liking that much.10

Alright then ye be laying back down,11

And I will be telling ye.12

Well lass this did take place long before,13

The event of William Wallace.14

Now ye be knowing that story of him?15

Aye grandaa, I know that.16

Well it was when the Lords of our lands.17

Were out only for them selves you see.18

The made our people suffer very badly.19

They took what we had for their taxes.20

Which left us to starve.21

Even the wild game was owned by the Lords.22

If ye got caught killing it you were put to death.23

And sometime they would even kill,24

People like us just for sport.25

Well out of nowhere this woman,26

Came on a winged-horse that brought us food.27

And even sometime coins.28

Where did she come from grandaa?29

Lass no one knows where she came from.30

All we do know is that she helped our people.31

They say that God send her to help us.32

All I know lass is that she was a blessing to us.33

She helped us many a year.34

Till things be getting better for us.35

Then she just didn’t come back anymore.36

Where did she go grandaa?37

No one knows lass she left as she came.38

That was a grand story grandaa.39

Thank you for be telling it to me.40

You’re welcome lass.41

Now say your prayers and go to sleep.42

(c) Rose Patrick May 16, 200343

All Rights Reserved44

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Gary Alexander silver member
    June 25, 2007

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    Rose,
    Not sure if this is a poem or not...but it could be! If it's merely a simple tale, a story, you might confuse the reader less by putting in the proper punctuation, quotation marks, and paragraph indentation. Sorry to be so technical...but I was confused. There were some very lovely and charming things in your piece...I don't think there should be ANY doubt about that, nor anything left to chance misunderstandings. Don't hide from your readers! (looking at this again...i think it is most poetic. How about a poem? I felt it was crying to be one!
    Good luck,
    GA


  • k8fairy
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love the old way of this poem, and I'm not really sure what I mean by that except that it seems a tale always told. A beautiful tale at that.


  • Blurith
    May 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    "How about if I tell you a little of our history.9

    Aye grandaa I would be liking that much.10

    Alright then ye be laying back down,11

    And I will be telling ye."

    I really liked that section, it filled me with so much imagination. The rest of the read was good too. The terrors of human nature can be a scary thing ( when winged horses aren't around anyway )

  • Mark Rickerby
    August 28, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Full of old-world charm

    Hello Rose,

    I enjoyed the old-world charm of this story and appreciate you entering it in my contest. However, it doesn't really fit the criteria for this contest in two ways.

    1. It isn't a first-person adventure.
    2. It is written as a poem, not a story.

    Thanks very much for entering it here, anyway. I enjoyed it. I find it interesting that you speak Gaelic and the accent comes through so thickly even in your writing. I've been to Ireland many times and ever Gaelic-speaking person I met was also fluent in English. I noticed on your author page that you live in the states now. Were you very secluded when you lived in Ireland? How did you manage to speak Gaelic exclusively? Just curious.

    Thanks again and best wishes to you,

    Mark


  • angelfrog
    August 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Well I really like to read the tales you share in your poems, and it feels how you write them, that a conversation is taking place and i can imagine it. Thankyou for sharing once again, i enjoyred reading this poem of yours
    jess
    ::::::::::.fades back into the shadows::::::::::::

  • Circuitsboard
    August 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Such a simple story. I'm a sucker for old tales.
    I really was intrigued how each line seemed to be in between inhalation and exhalation. Just like an old man speaking between breaths.
    I quite enjoyed this read.

    Thank you for giving me that.

    And thank you very much for your comments.

1 - 6 of 6