I don't know what you're expecting me to write.
I could say I'm sorry, that I was wrong, and it would be true. I could fall down on my knees, beg for your forgiveness, plead with you to take me back, and every single word that left my lips to pass to your ears would be honest, heartfelt, and utterly desperate. I could tell you I love you, and it would be sincere, but I could never tell you I don't know why I did what I did.
I know what I did. I know it was wrong. I know that it hurt you, and that's why I'm crying. I know I shouldn't have, but I also know that I can not fix what has been done. I can not make it right between us. I can not ask you to forgive me, for I do not deserve your patient understanding. I want you to hate me.
Perhaps I did it because I was looking for a way out that would leave you angry yet able to move on. Perhaps I was hoping when you stumbled in the room, you would become so enraged you would grab the gun out of the bedside table drawer and shoot us both. I could tell myself this, but it would be wrong.
You want to know why? Do you truly? If you do not, then you must stop reading this now, and be forewarned that the truth will throw you into denial.
I did it out of revenge. Go ahead, get it out. Scream at the paper, curse my name, deny you've any knowledge of a past wrong, but when you've finished, listen carefully.
I love you. I know this sounds ridiculous when hidden among all these words of confession to a misdeed, but it is truth. I do love you.
Our marriage over the past four years has been perfect. You've given me everything I've ever wanted, never wronged me, and we've never had a serious fight. Only once...
There is one thing you've never given me. In one way, you've wronged me, and it was this "once" that I have never been able to completely forgive.
Two wrongs don't make a right, and so this one misdeed of yours does, in no way, excuse my behavior. Never the less, it is the reasoning behind my actions, and I felt you should know.
What? you ask me. What is the one thing you've never given to me? How have you wronged me, what have you kept from me? I will tell you.
Your love.
It is true, my darling. You've never loved me, and it is the one thing I've always wanted in our relationship. You see, I love you with all my heart and soul, but it kills a person to never have that love returned. I thought you should know how it feels.
Don't deny it now, my love. Do not make a mockery of my confession, of my explanations, of my actions, by denying this one thing by which you've done me wrong. Please, dearest, search within yourself and find the truth of my words. That you have never loved me.
You love her.
It was her face you saw when I came out of the coffee shop that day. You've admitted as much to me.
It was her face you saw when you asked me out for that first date, and it was her you saw when you kissed me under the moon.
When you proposed to me, it was her you were asking to be your wife, and when we made love for the first time on our honeymoon, it was her name your heart whispered into the night.
I'd thought I could live with you loving another so long as you allowed me to love you with my entire being. You wouldn't even let me do that.
You hid my face behind your vision of hers, and when I spoke it was her sweet voice that traveled to your ears.
I tried to make you happy, to give you everything you wanted. In the end, however, I can never be her, and I am not good enough for you.
So, farewell, my love. I will forever remember the times we had together, and I hope you shall do the same. They will be emblazoned onto the tablet of my heart, and I will forever cherish your softly spoken words, however untrue they may have been.
Please, remember me with fondness in your heart even should it not be love. I'm sorry it had to end this way.
With Eternal Love,
Evelyne.
Author notes
okay, so perhaps it doesn't make you want to forgive her, but at least it gives you some insight into why she did what she did.
I know it's not the greatest letter in the world, but it came from her heart, and that's how she truly felt. I wish I could express it in a more elegant way as it deserves the best. Alas, I am but a mere mortal and can only the the story with my limited expressionary elegance.
Is expressionary a word? hmmm... I shall have to look that up. All in all, I hope you liked it. Any and all reviews are welcome and will be taken into deep consideration. Thanks in advance!
In a list
A contest entry
- What would you do? by EmeraldDreams.
175 points, ended September 3, 2007, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Hey Saej,
Being a blood and guts kind of guy, I feel somewhat out of my depth commenting on your expressionary elegance
I did notice a certain amount of violence and mayhem in your tale, though it didn't stain the carpet or splatter the walls, and at least one casualty. It's very well written and flowed nicely. It was easy to 'see' this young woman penning this letter with tears running down her face. I won't say that I agree with her reasoning though. Hell hath no fury...
Anyway I enjoyed the read and look forward to reading more of your work
Steve
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I think, the other woman was a facade. She was the image Evelyne projected to the outside world, but not her true self. For some reason, Evelyne felt she couldn't truly be herself with her husband. Fascinating.
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Nice write.
It is thought provoking and brings many questions as the others said. Why did she stay with him so long under those circumstances? Who was the other girl? An old girlfriend or an old wife? Her love for him is obvious.
I realize it was for a contest, and I don't know the prompts of it, but this was interesting and I would like to see it carried further to see the reasons behind it. It sounds like it would make an interesting overall story.
Good story, ..or letter.
Greg
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A pretty heavy letter to say the least. Depending on how it is read, this could be a selfish person, going forward with the knowledge the man is in love with someone else yet marrying him anyway.
In another senario she could be mistaken. He only thought he loved another woman, got past the moment and devoted himself to this one person who has fixated on someone no longer in the picture.
In any case this is beautifully written and that is the entire point, how well the piece is written.
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Thanks Jazz. Means a lot.
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This Was Good
This was a Good letter. I felt her anguish in the beginning.
And then you learn that she in turn was wronged. He wronged her, she wronged him.
I don't think her reaction would be typical among women. Even I loved someone like that, but I knew he loved someone else. I wouldn't have married him. What makes men mad and not all men but most men, is when they don't get what they want. They ask us out, with thoughts of neglect, nervousness and the fear of being rejected. But they ask anyway, and then we say no. Is that relief on their face? Or sadness?
I didn't beleive that Evelyn would have submitted herself for so long, I would think that after the first year of marriage she would have said something. This is where more detail could be used. It would be better if you included something that said WHY she stuck around. If she loved him, truly, she would have told him how she felt. Or at least tried to let him know she felt neglected. But instead the letter makes it seem like she didn't do anything until now. Four years later she decides to bring the subject to the table.
It's true that Letter's often express only half of what we feel. The other is something that has to be expressed in person. Many of us don't have the courage to express ourselves in person, especially with matters like these.
You need to feel Evelyns confusion. All these years what has she been doing? Just sitting around watching her husband day dream about another woman?
Other those things, this letter was very well written. You do feel the characters emotions and it makes you sorry for her, and then you feel as though you cannot forgive her. But we need a little more backstory. Not a whole lot, just a little. A small section which tells us that she has been confused, angry or even sad all these years.
With a little editing and perfecting, this could be a really great "Letter/Story"
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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You spelled ridiculous as rediculous. The other spelling errors have already been mentioned below.
This was a good piece of writing. Perhaps I'm a bit stoopid, but who was the woman he was supposedly in love with?
I liked the back story, but I wanted to know more. Now obviously, this being written in letter-form, the husband would know the identity of the other woman. However, WE, the reader don't know--unless I missed something. If you could find a way to incorporate that information then this piece would be quite excellent!
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Oooh, that's a big one. Thanks. I probably would've kept reading over that one and never have fixed it if you hadn't said anything. Thanks a bunch.
As for the back story. I know the reader doesn't know anything about "him". That's okay. Why? Because, simply put, this was a contest entry, and not supposed to stand alone without the prompt.
However, because of the great reviews I'm getting on this piece, I may expand upon it, and turn it into a piece that can stand alone. On the other hand, I'm slightly busy with a couple other pieces, and so this particular one may just have to wait.
Once again, thank you for the amazing review. I am very grateful to you that you even took the time to read this.
Thanks a bunch!
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This was good. All along I was thinking this man had had an affair on Evelyne. And in a way he did just not physically. I loved the backstory, the reason she did whatever it was that she did. Great job (I know I'm not suppose to do that
)
Couple of spelling errors in the fourth paragraph and I hestitated to even bring them up. You have one and I think you meant 'on' and the other was you forgot 'e' in drawer. Nothing big.
Loved it.
~*Brooke*~
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Thanks. I always miss letters or something somewhere. Stupid spell check that DOESN'T work. lol.
Thanks for reading this, it means a lot.
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Wow ~ A unique write. Loved it. The backstory ( I agree with FallenAngel) was my favorite bit, it was unique and distinguished. You turned a rather cliched topic, into a very original one. Nice job here, Saej.
Sorry, but I cant figure out any necessary criticism. It was well done. Being a letter, you used very simple language and it fits. So, it's good. Similarly, some of the words only fit as a letter and therefore, this is quite the story. Well done here! -
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Thank you, Asfand. Just telling me I did a good job is great coming from you. I've read some of your work, and it really means a lot that you'd not find this piece lacking in any way.
Once again, thanks!
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This is really moving. I thought the back story was really original, and i could certainly understand her point of view, and why she did what she did. Nice entry, thanks!
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Forgot the applauds. I always forget those.
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I really liked this, I read the contest and other entries from it. Yours is the only one I commented on because its the only one I really needed to say something on. Sure, the others were great but this is awesome. I really felt like crying while reading this. I could feel all the emotion. Loved this, great job and good luck in the contest.
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Wow, thank you. I haven't read the other letters, but I know I should, and so I shall opt to do that now.
Thank you so much for the comment and the applause. It means a bunch.
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Oh wow.
I read the prompt for this contest after I read your letter and dang girl, you can make a mountain of a speck of dirt. And in this case, that's a good thing. You took that prompt and you made it into something awesome. You gave that idea a face.
And damn girl.
This was awesome.
Great job.
~Amber~
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Thanks, Amber! You always leave me good comments. Would you believe it was late when I wrote this? lol. Well, not that late, but late. My cognizant proccesses were somewhat hindered, and thus, this was written. lol.
Thanks for the comment, girl. It means a bunch.
Much love!
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