Land Of Lost CDs: Chapter 1

Darkness. It was quite instant, and seemed to have some sort of finality to it. Chris Novoselic uncovered his eyes. He could see the horizontal line of light beyond where he'd fallen. Otherwise, he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. Rising slowly, he began walking toward the light, knowing that once he was out of this...place, he could find help. He'd only taken a step until he hit it. The clear plastic wall...of a box. Stars swam before his eyes, surprised. Where was he...? This hellish, dark hole...1

"We're in Under ze Bedd," came a voice from behind. Chris spun around, losing his balance and falling backwards against the giant, plastic box. By what little light there was, he could see it was Dave, his hair and clothing disheveled. He looked haggard.2

"Where?" Chris asked, fingering his nose. There was blood.3

"Under ze Bedd," repeated the drummer, scratching his neck. "The Land of No Return."4

At this, the bassist laughed. There was no way in hell they were in Under ze Bedd. That place was only in legend. Even Enya, who'd been lost numerous times, had never mentioned that desolate place of nightmare. Then again, she'd only gone to Under ze Armwarr and The Pyle. And everyone'd been there sometime or other. Actually, The Pyle wasn't so bad, if you were with the right people. They were once stuck there for a week with Steven Tyler and Johnny Rzeznik, and they all partied like it was 1999.5

But this was not The Pyle...6

"My ass it is." someone mumbled. Dave and Chris turned to see Kurt, hair hanging in his face. "I feel like I've been run over by a truck."7

"Pro'ly have." sighed Chris.8

There was a long period of silence. Each member of Nirvana seemed to be contemplating some unknown thought of importance. Little was it known that they were pondering the same thought. Most likely, nothing would've been said if it wasn't for anonymous fart that broke the silence.9

"Anyone know a way out?" Dave suggested.10

"No," said Kurt," no one lives this far out. They're either in Caess or they're at The Player..."11

"Or they're in North Stakidge!," Chris suddenly cried.12

Yes! The nearest Stakidge. Unfortunately, no one had lived in any of the four Stakidges for a long time. However, it was rumored that Anthony Kiedis and his crew were residing there for a time. And That was just across Under ze Bedd. Practically a diagonal bee-line...13

"If we go now...we could probably get there in two days." The front man reasoned.14

With that, they swiftly packed up their instruments and began heading north-east. What they thought...was north-east. The dark did not help much in their search for North Stakidge. It took them an hour to realize that they had been walking south-west. Deeper into Under ze Bedd. Of course, Chris had known they were going the wrong way all along. But no one listens to the bassist.15

Speaking of which, he had a peculiar feeling that they weren't the only ones in the dark, dusty cave. It was possible; there were many CDs lost that had not been found, or had otherwise been put there. He couldn't remember all their names. The Lost Ones.16

As they plodded along, Chris Novoselic saw shuffling amongst the junk. Large, tall shadows cast on shadows. It was very unsettling. By now, he could tell that Dave and Kurt saw them, too. Fear crept upon the group, a slow and silent stalker.17