As the last rays of light disappeared behind the houses, Artemis finally tugged on the reigns for Rainshine to stop. They were in front of a grimy-looking building with dim light peeking through the unwashed windows. Tying Rainshine to a complimentary post, he brushed a thin curtain aside from the door and entered.
It was just as dingy inside as on the outside. Assorted ornaments cluttered the shelves that lined the walls. A single candle flickered on a spindly table, behind which sat a hunched figure enshrouded by shawls. The shawls obscured all view of what was behind them, all but two shrunken eyes. Both were fixed on Artemis and were illuminated eerily by the candle. Seemingly unperturbed, Artemis strode over to the table and knelt down so that he was at the same level as the other eyes.
“I have come,” said Artemis, “For a reading.” He placed several copper coins in the person’s outstretched palm.
A raspy voice issued from beneath the smothering attire. Raspy, but definitely female.
“Then come, sit. If it is a reading you want, it is a reading you shall get!” The woman cackled, filling the room with her manic laughter.
Artemis just stared a her, unamused.
From within the folds of her clothing she withdrew a set of cards. She laid them out in front of Artemis, face down. She stared at him intently.
“Well pick!” she barked after a lengthy silence.
Despite her harsh demeanour, Artemis did not flinch. He glared deep into her dull eyes, daring her to rush him. She, likewise, did not falter before this glare. Artemis glanced down at the cards fanned out before him. He raised his palm and it lingered over each card in turn. He flipped over thirteen cards. Fear flicked across the woman’s face.
“You picked thirteen. Why thirteen?” she growled menacingly.
“Just read,” snarled Artemis quietly, an equal threat.
She glared up at him. “You have picked out thirteen cards, for whatever reason,” she bent down and quickly examined the cards, “Hmmm… a tricky reading… so many paths…”
Artemis cleared his throat noisily.
“ You have a difficult path ahead of you… but it crosses with so many possibilities… to determine your future, you need to look more closely at your past…” she squinted at the last card, “ death plagues your future and is also evident in your past… your parents…”
“Enough!” murmured Artemis, barely audible.
“…they haunt your past but…”
“Enough!” said Artemis, temper rising.
“…are clouded in your future…”
“I SAID ENOUGH!” bellowed Artemis, leaping to his feet, in the process overturning the spindly table, plunging them into darkness as the candle was extinguished.
The woman relit the candle.
For the first time since Artemis had arrived, the woman rose to her feet, shawls draped over her entire figure, the longer ones flowing onto the ground and dragging behind her. The two faced each other, Artemis panting and scowling, hair strewn across his face, damp with sweat. He looked as though he would attack the woman, but she looked so thin and frail standing up. However, her voice remained steady and strong as she made her next statement. I was apparent she was irritated.
“When you come and demand a reading, it is expected that I give a reading, is it not?” she paused for a second. “So therefore it is assumed that when I give you a reading, that is what you paid for and what you wanted when you came here.” She paused again, and looked intently at Artemis.
He inclined his head, ever so slightly.
“So you do agree that I gave you what you paid me for and ther…”
“Is it not the common understanding that when someone says enough, they mean enough, they mean for you to stop?”
The woman backed away.
“Does it not mean that yes, they have paid you for a service but now they wish it to stop?”
The woman shrank further into the shadows of the corner as Artemis’ voice rose.
“So why then is it that after saying quite audibly to stop, you continue against my will?” Artemis took a breath, calming himself. “And why is it that we know each other and yet you treat me as if we have never met?”
“I am afraid if we have met, I do not recall it,” came the woman’s reply. Stepping out of her corner, she leaned in to examine Artemis’ face.
Artemis took a step back, out of reflex, and reached within the folds of his travel cloak. From it, he withdrew an unusually long sword, and held it before the woman. He brought it up beneath her chin, and slit through the shawls so that they would fall away. She did not flinch before his weapon, but rather drew herself up to her full height and gave Artemis a defiant look. She shook her head to loosen the death grip of the shawls and scarfs. They easily came away from her face.
Artemis gasped. “Micka? Is that you? You’ve aged…” he said softly, looking her up and down.
“Micka?” the woman repeated after Artemis.
Artemis’ eyes brightened.
“Micka does not reside here any longer. She has moved away.” said the woman.
Artemis’ eyes flared with anger.
“How is it that you, an old fraudulent fortune teller who would be more suited to work on the street at a run-down booth end up here, in the residence where truth once existed?” Artemis struggled to control his fury.
“Do you know where she has moved?” said Artemis in a dangerously low voice, after a long pause.
“She left for the forest, on the east side, and tell has it that she has crafted a house deep in he forest, so as not to be disturbed.” replied the woman.
“I will find her,” said Artemis gruffly, though clearly enunciating each word, “and I would advise that a fraud like you never give advice or speak to me again.”
With that, Artemis strode out of the shabby store, leaving an air of hostility behind him.
Author notes
This is he next instalment after Chapter 1- Just Artemis. Not to much revealed here accept some hints at Aremis' past. Trust me, he story will get interesting... eventually. (hopefully!) This won' be perfec, and I know that, I've only just finished writing it and I've only given it a quick proof.
PS. Some spelling mistakes may be due to that the t key on my keyboard doesn't work properly.
- Writing Whatever group list • next in list
- The Literary Oscars group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Better Now Than Never by Kevan.
125 points, ended September 1, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think- all comments and criticism are appreciated
Comments
-
I feel your keyboard pains, the most annoying thing is when my f key its stuck and I'm sitting there trying to get it to come too...
Anyway, this installment has really made me wonder who Artemis is, so really good job there!
Once again, I must agree and say that I am not a big fan of the dialogue, but for the frame of your story it does seem to function quite nicely.
awesomness.
-
Again you have punctuation mistakes (minor ones) and issues with the paragraph structure.
The detailing is well done in this chapter as well. As far as the storyline goes there were a few problems.
"Artemis" claims to recognize this person, when he finds out that in fact it's not the same person there's no questioning about why they're similar... That should actually be expanded on.
You repeat the word enough... several times in dialogue. I think if you went with "I said enough!" for the last one it would sound more commanding and authoritative.
The language is easier to follow this chapter and well done. Keep up the good work, I'll read the next chapter soo -
Very good story!! Seriously keep it up!

-
Good but dialogue stinted
This really gripped me because it reminded me of a show called the Crystal Maze.
The use of the description language was very good and allowed my imagination to really picture the story. However, I felt the major let down was the dialogue which was too formal and stinted. But still very good.beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 4.
-
deep in he forest-->the (darn that sticking "T"!) I still included that since spell check won't catch it
annunciating-->enunciating
Hmmm. I was wishing more had happened in this piece. It left me wanting to know what happens next :-) -
The first paragraph could definitely be split up into more than one. Too many ideas within a paragraph makes it difficult to follow what't actually being said.
This was interesting, and has struck questions within me that beg answering. lol.
I like the style you write this in, and I love Artemis's manner of speech and just they way he seems to carry himself. I love it.
Great job!






