In my incessant struggle to exorcise or examine or embrace the tangled cables of childhood that still manage to gently bind me, I think of a kitten struggling in a loose yarn ball. My childhood history and dreams still greatly affect my psyche today. They are pets or pests that grew up with me. Kittens from beyond sought a solid caretaker alive to torture and play with. Allow me to introduce a few.
Lets start with the worst like it was the first. Nipples. This black cat is a dream I had at thirteen where my nipples exploded. This dream absolutely ruined me. No young male should be able to say that his nipples are the most sensitive part of his body; where extended claws might search unexpectedly.
Whenever a breeze hits my nipples the wrong way, or if I brush against the silk-screen design on my t-shirt, or I just wake up with hard nips, I cover them with my palms and it helps tremendously. Few women have been allowed even that close. Yes, the slick feline still manages to get in a few scratches every so often.
Once, my mother forced me to drink blue milk because wasting food is the biggest sin imaginable in a house without money. I was 11. At breakfast, I poured so much sugar into my bowl of Cheerios, the milk turned this sick shade of pale blue. The spoon could stand up by itself. She caught me trying to throw it out, and made me eat the whole mess, watching over me. To this day, although I love cereal and milk, I can't handle cereal in milk. I eat that Quaker 100% natural straight out the box.
These dark kittens never grew up and still follow me, playing tag, stalking the dark backyard of traumatic annoyance. I don't know how they got here, by fate or fortune, but there were felicitous felines too. I don't see them as much anymore, but I know they are there.
Recurring dreams. When I was a kid, I remember being able to choose what I my dream path. Any of you old enough to remember "The Hardy Boys" television series? The teenage Frank and Joe played by Parker Stevenson and Shaun Cassidy in the late 70's? Anyway, when the show comes on, these different scenes from different episodes appear static on the screen, arranged like a game of concentration - that card game. The images wouldn't turn around or anything, but they were separated in rows and stacks. Well, when I was a kid, I could close my eyes, set up concentration like images, and choose what I would dream about by jumping into one of several box options. Every attempt to reproduce this guide has failed since I was about fourteen.
My favorite pet from the past was this dream of hue. I could fly in this dream, or jump or swim. There was this energy that surrounded me, leaving a few black voids for me to run to if I wanted. The energy was yellowish orange or vice versa. It would play with me, surround me, reveal secrets in a language without words. Despite the light buzzing sound, it all felt very peaceful, and the round, crackling hue never actually touched me. I would wake up feeling that energy in my teeth, vibrating as if I had been bitten electrified cotton candy. This was my purring default dream when I was still a child - I could just go to this one at will.
I felt that energy in my teeth this morning, but the exact dream details are slippery and unremembered; padded paw marks in the snow that led from a wall and disappeared where I stood.
A contest entry
- August 's New Members Contest by SW Greeters.
350 points, ended September 6, 2007, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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wow. that is definitely one of the oddest analogies i have ever read. that whole nipple thing would creep me out too, i am sure. blue milk... that cannot be healthy, lol. interesting, definitely, though a bit hard to get.
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Since you commented on two of my stories, I thought I should return the favor!
I read over the comments first just to see what people thought of this. I noticed you have quite a fan in Gary Alexander since he's commented (a rather long one) on another one of your stories.
Overall, I expected for it to be slightly creepy, well written, and maybe a bit confusing.
And I was right. I can't say I enjoyed it because the thought of exploding nipples pains me...but I liked the symbolism and how you wrote it. I don't know if this was your plan, but now I see kittens in a new light...a creepier light. I don't think I'll be avoiding any black cats anytime soon but you did a fair job with this piece! I was a bit confused in some parts but not so much that it ruined this story (although I don't think this is an actual story) for me.
I hope you do well in the contest!!!
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I liked this. It read somewhat like a stream of conciousness. I like the metaphor you used, making your childhood 'bugbears' into something as sinisterly normal and un-scary as kittens. The contrast worked well for me. I shall now be avoiding all black coloured felines. Just in case.
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PETS/PESTS/PUSSYCATS/KIDS/CONFUSION
There are many interesting bits in this piece, both in terms of language and, certainly, psychologically. (Freud would have a field day...er...picnic...ah er...like a kid in a candy store?) I loved the very ending...but, apparently you and I do not agree on tense or voice. I would have written the very last sentences a bit differently...more dramatically. Perhaps this is what you meant by my "prevarication?) Anyway, this could have been more of a story than a confession...but this is subjective on my part! Meanwhile, here are some of, if you don't mind, The snigglets:
"A solid LIVE caretaker?" (rather than solid caretaker alive)
THIS black cat...followed by THIS dream. And "black cat IS a dream?" how about image out of a dream...shade...phantom FROM a dream." but IS a dream? (Just didn't sound right to me)
"where extended claws might search..." Didn't get it.
The cereal bit is sadly funny. They really do a number on us, don't they? (mothers?)
"stalking the dark backyard" poetic...
("traumatic annoyance" may be a little much coupled with the above, though...a little heavy...also because "traumatic" is more than "annoyance." It's almost an oxymoron!)
"...choose I what my dream path?" Typo?
"Any of you..." (I'd find another phrase)
"Anyway..." (Do you need this?)
"these different scenes from different episodes."
(These would seem to be unnecessary. "Different" used twice)
"Concentration" in quotes would preclude use of the explanation.
..."or anything" (too colloquial)
"When I was a kid" you used this already...and you certainly do not need it again.
"set up concentration LIKE images (concentration-like?) Confusing.
"this dream." Use of "this" is not merely part of the "voice"...I think you could find a better mode of expression. Even..."A" dream of hue!
(Actually you use the word "this" three times in three consecutive sentences here)
"Energy in the teeth" this could have been more prominent in the overall theme...in fact, I kind of lost that in paragraph three. (I was just getting into the cats! when you began talking about mothers and cereal!)(I guess you had been using "pets" differently all along.) The end, though, is really replete with potential!
GA
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Eh. You're looking at about fifteen minutes worth of work. Something I threw up for the new members' contest. I might do something with it, I might not.
You probably put more work into your critique.
Thanks for reading it.
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Interesting perceptions.
Black cats are reminders of past traumatic experiences. Were there any other colored cats? This was well written, but I got a little lost in it.
Andy
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I'm not sure about other colors. I get what you're saying about it being hard to follow - it does ramble. For the sake of clarity, I'd parse it more, but I haven't figured out how to edit yet.
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