oh, hurricane.

I feel fake.
So fake.

I hate myself for the way I am right now.

I'm trying to be happy. Right now, I'm smiling. With my mouth.

But I'm cold. I feel cold, I'm getting shivery. And that's always how it is, before the tears fall.

I can't believe what I've turned into. I hate everything I've become.
Then again, self-hate's always been popular, hasn't it?

I'm not trying to fit in by pretending I don't.
I know I don't.
I know I'm not normal.

I made a decision to stop telling myself that, but I just can't keep to it.
I can't keep positive. I've tried. I've tried, so hard.
And I just can't.

I hate this.

People who I thought were my friends have suddenly changed their minds.
Things that I thought I could believe in aren't there anymore.

I can suddenly see the wires on the puppeteer's hand.
I can see the secret compartment in the magic trick.
I can see the card hidden up the conman's sleeve.

Everything makes no sense, and everything makes complete sense.

I'm an utter contradiction.

But I don't seem able to change.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Springs gold member
    September 5, 2007

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    I really liked how this was set out on the page =]
    I want to say this was pretty, but that'd be odd to describe it as that ._.
    It makes a lot of sense.
    I'm not sure what else to say xD i really liked it?


  • sodancewithsoda silver member
    September 2, 2007

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    Meggers, how can you be so straightforward yet poetic at the same time? It's a feat that I don't think JUST ANYONE could do, including myself. You know, I try to read all your works - because the way you see and describe things are beautiful. It doesn't matter if things don't make sense... we have our own different ways of understanding things besides... for us to appreciate something, we don't have to understand it

    I hope you are well.. *Hug*


  • Sailor Moon
    August 30, 2007

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    Duuuuude this story better win that contest you entered - if it doesn't, threaten to sue!! (hope that's spelt right)
    This is some excellent stuff; I can relate to it, plus you work the words beautifully and create some awesome imagery. It was also a nice touch using the examples from a circus or a magic show.
    Great job!!!