Savitar sat on the bed, looking down at the figure sleeping beside him. She looked beyond tired. Gritting his teeth slightly, he breathed out, then whispered a suggestion he knew would take root inside her mind.
“Offer the building to Stryker instead of you.” He closed his eyes, and hoped he was doing the right thing. He knew that Aiden would feel the need to do something to stop Stryker from harming others, and this was something that she would have thought of in her own time. Only, she didn’t have that time to think it up, so he nudged her in the right direction.
He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror on the wall, and stared at himself as he sat on her bed, in her bedroom. This place was basically the last link she had to her family, and he had just suggested that she give it up.
Even though he felt guilty, he knew it would be the right thing for her to do. If it worked, then she would be safe, the wolves would be safe, and Apollites would have a safe building to raise their families. Savitar had nothing against Apollites, unless they lived past their twenty-seventh birthday by killing others to survive.
He knew that he could have just right out suggested it to her face, but that would make her very suspicious, and cause more problems than it was worth. Exhaling in annoyance at his reflection, he slid back down the bed to lay with Aiden.
Sometimes being an all-powerful, omnipotent god really sucked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1
Fury teleported into Aiden’s condo and looked around. She was nowhere to be seen, but he could smell her presence and decided that she was probably sleeping. After the afternoon she had had, he decided to take a small peek to make sure she was all right before he plopped his ass down for some satellite television.
Quietly walking down the small hallway, he gently tapped on her bedroom door so he wouldn’t surprise her when he opened it. Slowly turning the knob, he peeked in through the crack, then pulled the door quickly shut and spun back for the living room.
He stopped in shock as Savitar appeared in front of him, clad only in beach pants.
“I didn’t see a thing,” Fury said hurriedly. Fuck, I’m screwed. 2
“Relax wolf,” Savitar said. “It’s not some big secret.”
“It’s not?”
“No.” Savitar folded heavily tattooed arms over his chest. “But it’s not something I want spread all around Were-dom.”
“Understood,” Fury said, finally able to relax. For a moment, he had actually seen his life flash before his eyes. “So…guess that explains why you don’t want her dead.”
“You really should quit while you’re ahead,” Savitar advised dryly. “I have to go, but I’ll be back before she wakes.”
Fury watched as the immortal vanished in a puff of blue smoke.
Savitar appeared on the beach on Neratiti, held out his hand in to which his cell phone materialized, and made a quick call. “I need something bought,” he said, knowing that the person on the other end would know who he was. “Don’t care how much it cost, and I want it done within the hour.” He gave an address, then disconnected the call.
“She’s going to hate your guts when she finds out,” he whispered to himself. Sighing, he sat in the warm sand and let the sounds and power of the island wash over him. This truly was the only place he felt like he could be himself.
As he usually did when he sat like this, he looked through all timelines, gathering hints and events that could affect either him, or those around him. At one time, the Fates took offence to him peeking and changing small things, but after the Chthonian Civil war, they wisely left him alone. They knew that he only altered small things, and the lives were usually better for it.
He checked on Aiden’s lifeline, making sure that she was to die when she was supposed to. Surprised that that thought gave him a tight feeling in his chest, he pushed it aside. She had centuries left to live, and he had eternity. Life and death went on, and he knew, that even though they wouldn’t be together at that time, her passing would leave a void in his life. The thought of making her immortal crossed through his mind, but he dismissed it. To every thing there was a season, and to change someone’s life like that, for his own selfish benefit, was a line he didn’t want to approach…especially with Aiden.
He didn’t really worry about the Fates if he actually did cross that line. They left him alone, except for when he got pissed off and destroyed entire bloodlines…then, they tended to get a little bitchy with him.
Speaking of bitches, he wondered how Ash was doing with the ultimate one.
“Acheron?” Savitar said as he looked out over the blue water.
Yes?
“How long’s your prison term?” He could hear Ash’s sigh of annoyance at the question. “Any chance of getting out on good behavior?”
You’re so not funny. Ash thought to him. Artie’s off talking with Mr. Sunshine-Wimp-Ass. 3
Savitar waited while Ash’s ensyneiditos, or the conscious part of himself and not his body, appeared before him. This was the only way, short of Artemis releasing him, that he was able to visit others while he was trapped on Olympus.
“Mr. Sunshine-Wimp-Ass?” Savitar asked the apparition. “You looking for Apollo to take another stab at you?”
“Ever think of taking your material on the road as a comedian?” Ash asked, clearly not amused. “I’ve got a small window here, and I don’t need the annoyance of Artie finding me staring off into space while I’m suppose to be catering to her every whim.”
Savitar made a face at the thought of Artemis’ every whim. “I’ll make this fast so you can get back to-” He broke off with a shudder. “I can’t even say it.”
“Tick tock,” Ash said dryly.
“Vane Kattalakis has been trying to reach you. Stryker’s going to take a swipe at the wolves in New Orleans,” Savitar said as Ash image floated a few inches over the sand. “Or, he wants Aiden to trade herself for them.”
Ash stared for a few moments. “She’s not thinking of trading, is she?”
“I told her not to.” Savitar watched the water. “But she’s too stubborn, and she’s going to try something.” He sighed in resignation. “She a Were, and not afraid to piss me off. By rights, she should be a dead little eagle. But I can’t even think that way when I’m around her.” He looked back at Ash. “When did the universe change?”
“Rhetorical question?”4
”Extremely.” The surfing god sighed. “Just the ramblings of an exceptionally good looking, exceedingly modest and incredibly old person.”
Ash chuckled at that, since Savitar looked no older than thirty, and modesty was something he knew nothing about. “You could always tell Aiden the truth.”
“No, I can’t. Not now at least.” He looked at Ash. “And neither can you.”
“I don’t like hiding things from Aiden.”
Savitar glared at him. “And you think I do?!” His eyes danced an unsettling shade of amber. “I hate hurting her, even if it is for the security of the universe.”
“You know my thoughts on keeping secrets for ‘best intentions’.”
“If you’re even thinking of comparing what I’m doing to what Artemis did to you…”
“I didn’t say a thing,” Ash said quietly. “You came to that conclusion yourself.”
Savitar ground his teeth in annoyance. “You’re pressed for time,” he said darkly, changing the subject. “So I’ll get to the other point.”
“Shoot.”
“Has Nick found out where the arrow is?”
Ash stared at him. “What arrow?” he asked.
“The one Keegan gave you when he joined the ‘dark side’, and you have hidden on Katoteros.” Savitar smiled slightly. “There’s not much that I don’t know.”
Ash didn’t like the idea of anyone knowing about the arrow. “He’s still looking for it. If he keeps at it, then it keeps him busy and focused on one thing.”
“Keep your eyes open when it comes to him.”
“Oh, I plan on.” Ash shifted slightly in annoyance as he thought about how much trouble Nick had given him in the past year.
“What’s the problem?” Savitar asked, reading his thoughts. “If Nick's pissing you off, then kill him.”
Ash shook his head. “Dark-Hunter code… just because a Hunter annoys me, is no reason to kill him.”
“Acheron,” the other immortal said with forced patience. “He’s doing more than annoying you. You know that, right?” Ash didn’t reply. “There’s only so much slack you can cut one Hunter before you have to cut him off completely. Hell, look at Zarek. You banished him to some frozen piss-hole in the snow, and he didn’t do a damn thing.”
“That was different.”
Savitar nodded. “Artemis was saving her own ass then, and… wonder upon wonders, she saved it again by creating Nick, Dark-Hunter.” Savitar finally sighed in mock defeat. “Okay, look. I know that you know that Nick wants you dead. And I know that you think that he won’t carry through. But, Atlantean, there are a whole lot of other things that I know that you don’t know, and that’s what’s going to land your ass on the proverbial chopping block.”
Ash growled in annoyance. “And would it be too much to ask that you share this insight?”
“It never hurts to ask.”
“And…?”
“And I can’t tell you.” Savitar stared into the night sky as the waves gently lapped the shoreline. “Just remember that all that you see and hear may not be was it is. Words spoken always have more than one meaning, and never disregard any.”
“Do you at least give out cheat sheets?” Ash asked dryly. “Might be nice to know
what words to look out for.”
“Case in point.” Savitar glanced at him. “When Artemis told you that I would one day turn on you… what did I tell you?”
Ash thought for a second. “That I could never be killed by your hands.”
“Would,” Savitar corrected. “I said that you would never be killed by my hands.”
“There’s a difference?”
“You tell me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aiden woke six hours later, feeling better than she had in a long time. She rolled over, not really surprised that she was alone, but disappointed all the same. She glanced as Savitar appeared by the bed.
“Darn,” he whispered. “I wanted to be back before you woke.” He sat on the bed and gave her a long kiss.
“Just woke up, actually,” she told him. Noticing an envelope in his hand, she shifted her gaze to it, pulling back slightly as he held it out to her. “Dear Jane letter?”
Humor and pain flashed through his eyes. “I’m not that callous.” He opened the envelope, took out the contents and handed it to her.
Aiden took the folded papers, and started to read. She stopped, looked at him, and then back to the papers. “I don’t understand…”
“It’s a deed to the building.”
“I understand that,” she said. “But why is my name on it?”
“I know you thought about buying it once, and then all this… crap… started to happen, and you let the idea die.” He touched the papers. “Now it’s yours to do with however you see fit. Sell it, give it away, trade it…” He trailed off, leaving the idea floating between them.
“Did you buy this?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” she asked slowly.
“Why what?”
“Why did you buy the building?”
Savitar blinked at the tone in her voice. He knew she would be suspicious, and was glad that she was. If she hadn’t been, then he would have known that he managed to take her spirit away. That was something he never wanted to do. He sighed. “I bought it because I’ve done enough to hurt you and I want to see you happy.”
She continued to stare at him, trying to find out some ulterior motive. “Thank you.”
“I know you don’t trust me right now,” he said slowly. “I’ve used you, manipulated you, and…” he paused for a moment. “At times you feel like you’re some naughty little secret that no one can know about.” He took her hand in his. “You’re not a concubine, babe, so please don’t ever feel that way. You’re one of the few people I actually care about, and I’m rather pathetic when it comes to showing it.”
“Prove it.”
“What?” he asked in disbelief. “Prove what? You think I admit that to just anyone?” Trading stares with her, he realized that he was in far deeper than he had thought, and the time had come to put up, or shut up.
“Never mind,” she said as she put the papers in the envelope and passed it back to him. She stood, then looked down in shock as a short red dress appeared on her, complete with heeled shoes. Turning to glare at Savitar, she stopped at the infuriating grin he had on his face.
“Let’s go out.” His usual beach attire morphed into a pair of black dress pants and a linen shirt. Even his sandals had changed to loafers. “Only for you,” he said, “would I ever wear socks.” He approached her slowly, methodically. “I’m not good at this,” he said, “but I’m trying.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ash rubbed his eyes and locked his jaw to keep a yawn from escaping. It was never good to yawn while Artemis was trying to seduce him, although he doubted anything would be able to keep him awake at this point. His visit to Neratiti had tired him out, and he had barely made it back before Artemis had found him. A couple seconds later, and he would have been in deep shit with her since she hated it when he didn’t pay complete attention to him.
He gave her two weeks a year, to be used however she saw fit, in exchange for two months of her not interfering in anything he did. Usually, those two weeks ended up with him being nothing more than her glorified love slave, but there were times, like now, that she insisted on taking her sweet time.
“Acheron?” she asked, slight venom in her voice. “Is there something wrong?”
“Of course…not,” he said. “Why would there be anything wrong?”
“You’re being sarcastic.”
“And you’re being very astute.” He paused. “You know, Artie, I was thinking. It seems…unfair…I guess, that I have to be here for two weeks straight.”
“You agreed to it.”
“Oh, I know. But…wouldn’t it be nicer if the two weeks were broken up, and I could willingly come at two separate times?”
Artemis raked her nails down his arm, raising long welts. “What are you up to?”
Not giving her the satisfaction of seeing him in pain, Ash sighed. “Nothing. Never mind.” He went to turn away, stopping when she wrapped her hand in his long hair and yanked as hard as she could. Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he turned back to her. “I was only mentioning that it would be beneficial to you to break the two weeks up.” Damn, how he hated her.
She went to slap him, but he caught her wrist. “Enough foreplay, Artie.” He knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Her eyes grew heavy and he could hear her pulse quicken, the blood that coursed through her veins calling out to him.
He hater her, despised her, and just generally would rather French kiss a light socket than be with her, but he needed her. Without her blood to nourish his hunger, he would feed from anything, and then become more evil than those he hunted. He would kill, without care, and be the catalyst that would release his mother, Apollymi, The Destroyer. So, he put up with her bitchiness and power trips to humiliate him so that he could remain Ash, Dark-Hunter. It was a small price to pay to be able to keep his compassion.
So, he went through the motions of being a willing partner, which, when he fed, he was more than willing, and slipped the thin robe from her shoulders.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The room was dark, the music far too loud, and there were people standing everywhere. Savitar immediately hated it. He could tell that half of the patrons were looking at him, with some of them slowly making their way for the exits. At six foot eight, the staring part he was used to, and amongst the Limani’s, his face was rather well know since he had been the one to create their very existence. In any sanctuary, his law was the only law.
A nervous looking man appeared, smiling as he held his hands loosely by his side. “Savitar,” he said pleasantly. “What brings you here? I hope nothing is amiss.”
The immortal gave the owner of the bar, an Arcadian Wolf, a silent stare. “It’s cool,” he finally said. “Nothing is…amiss.” He refrained from rolling his eyes at the use of the word. “I’m not here on business.”
Before the owner could reply, Savitar took Aiden’s hand in his and led her to an empty table near the back of the bar. They barely sat before a waitress appeared, took their orders and left.
“She looked nervous,” Aided said.
“I get that a lot,” he replied with a slight smile.
Aiden studied him as he looked around the bar, and noticed that everywhere he looked, people’s heads turned to look the other way. No one wanted to be under his direct scrutiny, and she suddenly felt sorry for him.
“Don’t be.”5
She blinked. “Don’t be what?”
“Feeling sorry for me,” he said as he looked at her. “Someone in my position carries a lot of power, and some people are intimidated by that.” He gave her a wicked smile.
“And you enjoy every second of it.”
“You bet your adorable luscious ass I do.” His smile grew, making her stomach flutter. “What say I freeze time and you and I can make out here?”
“Why freeze time?”
“So no one interrupts us, and I won’t have to fry them.” He caught a movement out of the corner of his eye, and glanced for a fraction of a second before looking back at her.
“I get the feeling that you’re uncomfortable here.”
“Whatever gave you that idea?” he asked in an innocent voice.
“I wonder,” she replied dryly as their drinks arrived. Or maybe it’s being here with me.
Savitar heard her thought as raised the glass to his lips, and looked around while he took a drink. The person he had seen moving earlier was sitting at a table about fifteen feet from them. It was the Katagaria eagle that Fury had taken a picture of before, and by looking through his mind, Savitar knew that he was keeping tabs on Aiden for someone else.
Putting the glass down, he placed an arm around Aiden’s shoulder and pulled her slightly closer to him. He could read the hesitation and sudden worry in the male eagle, and surprise from many of the other patrons who were watching him.
He brought his head to hers so he could whisper in her ear, his warm breath caressing her skin. “Is it usually this…loud…in here?”
Aiden nodded, and moved to whisper in his ear, stopping in surprise when he captured her lips with his. The noise level dropped considerably as people stopped talking to stare at the mysterious Savitar kissing a common Were-Huntress.
He pulled back slightly and looked at her. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“For?” she replied, her eyes on his lips, wishing they were back on hers.
“For starters,” he said, realizing that people were still staring, “making you the topic of gossip that's already going around.”
Aiden blinked, pulled her gaze away from his lips, and slowly looked around the bar. She noticed that some people were actually glaring at her. “Screw ‘em,” she said.
“Can I?” he asked, perking up, then grimacing at the look she gave him. “Joke.” Having already heard her retort in her mind, he cut her off with another kiss as his free hand moved to settle on her thigh.
A few tables away, the Katagaria eagle tried not to stare, but it was hard. Savitar was a freaking legend, and to see him making out with the eagle he had been following was slightly disconcerting. The damn Dark-Hunter hadn’t told him that Savitar was involved in this, and to him, that changed things to a whole other level. Taking on another Were was one thing, but messing with the lady of the Omegrion mediator was suicidal.
He blinked when he realized that he was still staring, and that Savitar was now looking directly at him.
“You know,” he heard in his head, the voice barely above a whisper. “One of my favorite pastimes is watching people who piss me off dissolve into a fine power and float away with the breeze.”
The Katagaria eagle stiffened slightly as Savitar gave him a warning smile to go along with the mental message he had just given then ignored him completely. Slightly rattled, he got up and walked out of the bar in search of Nick Gautier.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The blanket only covered both to the waist, yet neither held the slightest bit of modest while in each other’s presence. Ash stared at the ceiling high above him as Artemis ran her fingers over his well-defined chest.
“About this breaking up the two weeks,” she suddenly said.
“What about it?”
“I was thinking that since it is fourteen days, that if we use alternating months, one weekend five months, and two weekends the final month would cover it.”
Me and my fucking big mouth Ash thought. Way to go, stupid. “You’d be willing to do that?”
“Would you?”
I’d rather drink turpentine and piss on a brush fire. “It sounds interesting,” he said. “And so does just dividing it up into two one week periods.”
“I prefer my way.” Artemis sat on the bed and looked down at him. “And I think my way is the one we use.”
“Whatever you say, Artie,” Ash said with as much enthusiasm as he could. “So, guess that means I can leave now?”
Artemis blinked, then scowled. “You set me up!” she shrieked.
“I’m not responsible for your lousy math skills,” Ash replied.
“Fine!” she spat. “Go! I release you. But be back here in two months time.”
Ash gave her a kiss on the cheek, then vanished from below her. Arriving back at his home in Katoteros, he pumped his hand in the air in a brief victory salute. It wasn’t often that Artemis relented on his being in her bed, and although he knew he got the short end of the deal by having to visit her six times a year, he was pleased with it.
Grabbing his cell phone from the small table by his throne, he scanned through the messages until he got to the ones from Vane Kattalakis, and hit the callback key.
“Vane, Ash,” he said when it was answered. “Can’t talk long, but just wanted to let you know that I’ll be there when you need me.” He listened for a few moments. “Simi would be more than happy to help, too……yeah. Later.” He flipped the phone shut, changed his clothes with a thought, then teleported to the alley behind the theatre where he and Simi always watched movies with Aiden. He walked out to the street, intent on finding Nick and having a chat about his recent activities.
It took him about thirty minutes to locate Nick; rather, to locate the sounds of a fight where one opponent was swearing rather vocally in Cajun French.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Okay, let’s go.”
Savitar smiled slightly. “We just got here.”
“And you look like you’re ready to freak out.” Aiden stood from the table.
“Gods do not freak out,” Savitar muttered. “Well, not in the middle of bars.” With all eyes still on them, they walked across the bar and out the door. Once outside, he breathed deeply.
“You really don’t like crowds, do you?”
“I don’t,” he admitted. “Well, really, I don’t like people in general.”
“Why not?”
“People basically suck, and end up stabbing you in the back.”
“Ah.” Aiden pulled her jacket closer against the night chill.
They walked in silence until Savitar stopped and looked to his right. He could tell that Nick was in an argument with the Katagaria eagle a few blocks away, and it was quickly escalating. Not wanting to have Aiden hear the things that were being said, mainly about her, he moved them to a secluded doorway, and used his powers to transport them both to her condo.
“What?” she asked.
“Hm? Oh, nothing,” he said. “Just started to get cold.”
Aiden turned on the lights, and stopped at the sight of a wolf curled up in the middle of her couch, sleeping. “Great guard dog,” she said. “Hope he doesn’t shed.”
Fury opened his eyes, stretched lazily and changed to human. “Caught your scent as soon as you phased in,” he said in a tired voice. He blinked a few times, waking more with each one, then stood. “Is the night over?”
“Yeah, go to bed,” Aiden said.
“Right then,” Fury gave them both a mock salute and headed to the spare bedroom. Halfway there, he stopped and turned. “For the record, I don’t shed.”
Savitar chuckled as the wolf continued to the bedroom and closed the door. He turned to find Aiden staring at him. “What?”
“How about you explain this evening to me.”
“Well,” Savitar began, “it’s called a date. People go out on them from time to time.”
Sighing, Aiden shook her head. “Never mind.”
“All right,” he told her. “I’m trying to show you that I’m not using you. I am, by basic pure definition, a solitary creature. I don’t like people, I hate crowds, and I’d rather shove bamboo strips under my fingernails and light them on fire than to have to wear socks.”
She smiled at the imagery of that. “Why did you buy me the building?”
“Wha-?” He stopped at the topic change. “Because I thought you would want it.” He paused. “Babe…I understand your distrust. Hell, I damn near invented the frigging concept, but… I’m asking you to trust me when I tell you that I have your best intention in mind in anything that I do for you.” He blinked at a thought that ran through her mind. “You think I’m controlling? Darlin’, controlling would be me toasting your lovely ass after the first time you pissed me off. Controlling would be me just doing what I want, and not giving a damn if it upset you or not.
"I manipulated your life, changed things and brought danger to you. And I don’t know why, but I keep doing it so that the cosmos is as it should be. Every time I mess up, it causes you grief, and… your tears are like gold to me. They remind me how valuable you truly are, and how damned worthless I’ve become.”
She stared at him, then inhaled raggedly. “So, manipulated?”
“I’ve never denied that.” He took her hand in his, raised it to his lips and gently kissed the back of it. “I’ve also never denied that I’m trying to keep your timeline more or less along the path it’s suppose to be. Forces keep wanting you dead, and I don’t want you dead, so…yeah, I’ll manipulate things to keep the cosmos from spiraling out of control.”
“My dying at the wrong time would screw the universe?”
Damn it. He grimaced, then took a step back. “Didn’t we already go over that?”
“No.”
“Okay. I’m going to tell you this, then you’re going to forget it.” He exhaled. “You’re meant for great things, my little eagle. In a century or so, things between Katagaria and Arcadians are going to be downright nasty. Under your leadership, it will smooth things out.”
“Whoa.” She stared at him, and wondered if she should suggest he write science fiction novels. “And if I die before then?”
“No one else will step in to try to stop. Anyone that would will already be dead, and the Were population will basically annihilate each other. If that happens, then…one, the Fates will be happy, and we can’t have that, and two, the unbalancing that the creation of the Were’s…created…will slam back to how it was before, throwing things into chaos.” His features turned thoughtful. “Which, in itself would be kind of cool, but the universe isn’t suppose to end for a long, long time.”
“That’s…wow…unbelievable.” She looked at him. “Wait. Why would I be the only one? Why wouldn’t you lead them?”
“I can’t force anything on the Were’s unless they ask for mediation. They won’t.” He smiled tightly. “But you will.”
“I think I understand,” she told him. “Maybe. Kind of. Well, not really, but I’m going to trust you on this.”
“Thank you.” He smiled. “When the time comes, you’ll know what to do, but until then, I need to keep you alive.”
“Okay.”
“And now, I need you to forget what I just told you.” Savitar lowered his lips to hers, and kissed deeply, using his powers at the same time to remove most of the information from her mind. He left enough to point her in the correct direction, and to be able to make the right decision when the time came.
Aiden sagged slightly in his arms, and pulled back. “Whoa. Sorry… little dizzy there.”
“I’ll take you to bed,” he told her as he fought the discomfort that removing memories caused him. It was best if she didn’t know, since knowledge like that would definitely alter things, and not for the best. “Come on.” Taking her hand, he led her to the bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick leaned against the corner wall, drinking a coffee as he watched the world go by from behind dark sunglasses. It was a little after one in the morning, and the city was still wide-awake.
Sighing as he saw a man walk up to him, he ignored him until he stopped in his view. “Yes?”
“Why didn’t you tell me that the Arcadian is hot and heavy with Savitar?” the eagle
demanded.
“I didn’t think it mattered.”
“Oh, it does, trust me.” The eagle turned and walked away, “Find yourself another pigeon, ‘cause I’m through.”
“Well, merde,” Nick said, cursing in French. He slowly stood and stalked after the eagle. “Wait,” he called out. “I’m sure we can work something out here.” He smiled as the eagle stopped walking, and motioned down a dark alley.
“Yeah,” the eagle said, his voice laced with skepticism, “I’m sure I’m going to trust you in a dark alley.”
Sighing dramatically, Nick shrugged, and then walked into the alley. He knew the
eagle wouldn’t just up and quit on him, not after all the money he had offered. He stopped as the eagle appeared in front of him.
“What do you want?”
“I want Aiden Falconidae followed,” Nick said easily. “I want to know her every move and who she is with.”
“Yeah? And I want to live to see tomorrow,” the eagle shot back. “Savitar knew that I was watching.”
“Then I suggest you work on your technique.”
“Shut the hell up, “ the eagle replied. “And dig out your wallet, cause this is going to cost you a lot more.”
Nick shook his head while making tsking sounds. “I thought animals didn’t need money?”
“This animal does.”
“I don’t think so.” Nick took a step back. “I paid you more than enough.”
“Wonder how much Savitar would pay?”
“Bribery, too?” Nick couldn’t believe it. “Are you sure you’re not Arcadian?” He moved quickly as the eagle lunged for him. “Back it the fuck up, mon ami,” Nick snarled.
The eagle held out his hand, manifesting a knife it in. “Don’t piss me off, dead guy.”
“Oh, that really hurt, you know?” Nick moved quickly and, letting loose with a string of Cajun French profanity that would have appalled his mother, he grabbed the eagle by the neck and slammed him against the wall.
The Were-Hunter fell to the ground and glared as Nick simply turned and walked away. He got to his feet and silently ran at him, yelling as something grabbed him out of the air and teleported him to a dark wooded area.
Nick spun at the noise, and stopped cold as he saw a man standing in the alley. He hadn’t seen Ash since Seattle nearly two years ago, and at that time, they had had a major argument.
Ash returned Nick’s gaze, fighting the anger that wanted to control the upcoming conversation. He exhaled, and took a step towards him. “Sorry to interrupt, but he was going to stab you in the back.”
“I’m used to that,” Nick said darkly.
Okay, this was turning out a little different than Ash had originally planned. But it
was right on key to what he expected from someone who now hated him. “I’m not going to get into that right now,” he said. “I’m just here to find out what your intentions are in this city.”
“Well, since you placed me here, why don’t you ask yourself that?” Nick turned away. “And hell, just stay away from me.”
“Sorry to just pop in and stop someone from stabbing you.”
“Who the fuck asked you to? Huh? I had everything under control!”
Ash was tired, pissed off, and somehow, that line rubbed him completely the wrong way. “You stupid, annoying little fuck!” Ash growled. “I just saved your life.”
“First time for everything,” Nick snarled.
Ash closed his eyes in annoyance and shook his head slightly. “Just forget it.” He turned to walk away. “I don’t know why I even bother trying with you.”
“Why do you?” Nick called after him.
Ash stopped, and contemplated ignoring him, but turned to face Nick. “At one time we were as close as brothers, Nick. You were the one person I knew I could count on. Then…I let you down.”6
”You did more than that,” Nick said, not wanting to let Ash off the hook for anything. “You humiliated me in front of everyone, and then took it all away from me.”
Ash stared at the man who had been as close as a friend he had ever known. “I know I did!” Ash yelled, then forced himself to calm down. “And I’m sorry.”
Nick’s mouth dropped open slightly. “Sorry? Sorry!” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Fuck you, Acheron. Straight to fucking Hades.”
With that, Nick turned and stormed away, leaving Ash staring after him, and contemplating planting a god bolt straight to the back of his arrogant head.
Author notes
Zarek is from the books...
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Some suggestions on the first opening paragraphs as an example: (even though it’s a nice sci-fi/fantasy story)
>>he breathed out<< (he exhaled) … “breathed” implies taking a breathe and exhaling in order to live = I.e. breathing. You inhale and exhale" therefore, breathing. You can't "breath" out, but can exhale (out)... so breathed, or exhaled. (out is unnecessary) is all that‘s necessary...
“Offer the building to Stryker (comma here) instead of you.”
He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror on the wall, and stared at himself as he sat on her bed, {{in her bedroom.}} <--unnecessary, you established he was watching her sleep) This place (comma) was the last link she basically had to her family (coma) and he had just suggested that she give up. (“he had just” is bad grammar“ simply say: he‘d suggested she give up.” )
Those paragraphs are passive voice and telling the reader. They could be combined into an active voice and covey what you want instead of the explaining his actions to the readers after you‘ve written it.
You might try:
Savitar sat on the bed looking down at the woman sleeping beside him. She looked beyond tired. Gritting his teeth slightly, he deeply exhaled, whispering a subliminal message to her.
“Offer the building to Stryker.” He closed his eyes, hoping he did the right thing. He knew Aiden would feel the need to do something to stop Stryker from harming others. This was something she’d thought of, in her own time. Only, she didn’t have the time to think it up, so nudging her in the right direction was the only solution.
He starred at his reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall directly across from the bed. He thought about this place being the last link Aiden had to her family, and suggesting she give up was the right thing to do, even though he felt guilty.
If it worked, she would be safe, the wolves would be safe, and Apollites would have a safe building to raise their families. He had nothing against Apollites, except for them killing others to survive past their twenty-seventh birthday.
beginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 3, characters: 2.
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Thank you for your suggestions.
You're correct on the breathe, which I'm changing, although the he'd and she'd... I prefer he had/would and she had/would over those contractions, since it shows the meaning.
As nice as the rewrite is, it is not the style that I use. If I used any other writing voice but my own, then the story would not be mine.
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yes! god bolts all the way!
typos-
“Do you at least give out cheat sheets?” ash asked dryly.- ash needs to be capitolized
“making you the topic of gossip that already going around.”- needs 'is' between 'that' and 'already'
“And you look like you’re reading to freak out.” Aiden stood from the table.- i think 'reading' should be 'ready'
damn good chapter. i love when aiden says savitar should write sci fi and when fury walks in on them... do creative! -
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Darn those things that slip by me!!!! Thank you for catching them!!!
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