As the head of the Faction, Elias thinks he's suffered the most. Not a day goes by where he doesn't lament the loss of our greatest asset. And Søren, well, he dropped his given name when it hit him. These days, he's retired, and we all call him Klein. Kobold, Astarte, and Rubius are still with us. They've left their sorrow behind. Rubius, perhaps, was never saddened at all. He favours guilt in its place.
It's been five years since Sarel died. He sacrificed everything for the Faction - more blood than Elias, more sweat than Kobold, and far more tears than I. Everything. He forsook his life and many others' to serve alongside us, and, as Klein says these days, share in our corruption.
Oh, Klein. He's become kinder in recent years, having withdrawn from the Faction to become an expeditionary scholar. Rumour has it he's settled down and fathered, bride and child living off his inheritance in the Southwest. I'm surprised at how soon he wed - he really did love Sarel, though not like I had, for I loved him as a woman loves the man whose child she longs to bear.
Still, it was he and not I who lashed out by grief and fury against Sarel's murderers. It was he and not I who cradled the battered body and wept in the rain. And it is he and not I who is the stronger. I've always been too weak for mourning.
The weakest among us is Rubius. His talent and stoic face command discipline, though I believe these admirable traits are too handsome for such a coward. Rubius is a descendant of the Prophet, and as such, is blessed with the gift of second sight. Elias favours him for the accuracy of his premonitions. Rubius always thought his gift superior to Sarel's, and perhaps that is why he kept his impending death concealed.
Disgusting, isn't it? In spite of that - or so says Elias - Rubius' loyalty stands unfailing. He acted according to his premonitions the day Sarel died. He claims that, had we gone an alternate route for Sarel's sake, all seven of us would have perished. For once - and only once - I must agree. If we had known of Sarel's fate, we would certainly have traveled the second path.
That's Elias for you, perverting justice as he will. It's the politician's way. He was once Minister of Defence for the province, forced from office by vote of his peers. It's commonly believed that they felt threatened by Elias' mad zeal and public appeal. He did not admire Sarel as Klein did, or shun him like Rubius. No, he thought of Sarel as an equal, and I suspect the loss of that is what Elias misses the most.
Astarte and Kobold had each other to hold as they mourned. They're twins, and the closest brother and sister I've met. Astarte, the Wind Wielder, is as lovely and wild as the element she keeps. Her gentle touch and voice endear her to many; Sarel often tousled her hair. And Kobold, our Earth Maestro, is known for his iron fist and gentle voice. Elias may be our leader, but Kobold acts as our father. He lead Sarel's funeral, just as he would have wanted.
As for myself?
My name is Soroka Amelia Lur Shion, the Faction's seventh recruit. I loved Sarel Reignar. I loved him so deeply...
Author notes
This is a little writing exercise I put myself through one day when I was suffering the dreaded block-de-writer. It's actually one of my first attempts at writing in first person. This shred of prose won't make sense to anyone for its lacking backstory, but I figured I'd share it anyway. I'd love to receive feedback on my execution of first person perspective.
That said, I hope y'all enjoy!
Tell me whatcha think. Would y'all like to see any more of these characters?
Comments
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Wow this was terrific! You had me hooked after the first few lines. I really enjoyed reading this piece. You have a knack for writing and have great taste in names. This was all in all terrific.
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Still, it was he and not I who lashed out by grief and fury against Sarel's murderers. It was he and not I who cradled the battered body and wept in the rain. And it is he and not I who is the stronger. I've always been too weak for mourning.
I just loved this paragraph. I think it says so much.
Wow! Can you pass that writing excerise off in a column? I know a lot of ppl would benefit from it.
Although, as you said, it didn't have any background it was still wonderfully written. It is so hard to write in first person. I rarely try, but you've done great.
I for one would love to know the back story on these characters. Please continue.
Welcome to storywrite. Hope to see you around.
Brooke
co-head greeter
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