So He Says II1
Yes, it’s still a work in progress!!2
Denise is currently on 5 antidepressant medications, none of which are working. I have the suspicion that her doctor is conning her out of a few bucks by giving her sugar pills and saying they’re some experimental shit that costs tons of money. I used to go to that doctor, but my medication was making me sicker and sicker and sicker.3
Evan has been trying to call a lot lately. I come home from dates with Dean, and Evan’s cell number on my caller ID. I can’t get call blocking to work. Damn phone company. 4
I yelled at some little shit today that was talking behind Denise’s back about all the stuff with Evan. I hate guys that talk trash. They never seem to realize that their façade is transparent and you can see right through them. 5
I lost my car keys today. I was fumbling around in my bag for around ten minutes when I finally just gave up and walked home. My car does not look very cool sitting in the school parking lot. I’m waiting for when some smartass decides to buy a case of spray paint for a little “decorating” around town and tags my car with something rude. 6
I’m going to try to take up running this summer. I feel so at peace when I do run. However, I don’t currently have the lungs for it, or the time to work at building up stamina. Thinking about it now, that will probably just be something that I take up when I’m old and wrinkly and freaking out about all the stuff I wanted to do but never did. Hopefully not, though. 7
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Evan suddenly steps out in front of me as I’m walking to my car, blowing smoke in my face. I really do hate that smell. . . 9
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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this one is great too... i cant wait till you write a 3rd one for this.. you're a great writer. keep it up girlie!
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This is so intense. I feel like I have been sucked in to her life. It seems so real...and thats the saddest part...is it is real. So many people, teens are going through this shit in todays society. And people wonder why the "rates" are up..and by rates, I mean drug, suicide, sex...everything thats "unperfect" (my new little catch phrase). I loved it...keep it up..I'll be checking back soon!
Love ya Ash!
Jess -
Interesting write so far; kept my attention. I liked the way the emotions came out clearly; the weren't forced at all. The words flowed well here, making it easier for the reaser to enjoy it.
I'd like to read more from you when you write it.
What I like best about your piece is that you're taking your time writing it. What I mean by this is that it's more like reading a page from a novel, than just a short story. I really like that.
Sometimes, people get too caught up in writing about the main events that happen, that they sort of jump from one exciting adventure to another; good writers can write well without havign to keep the reader's attention with some new thing happening every second page...like yourself! Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I think it's written very well.
-morgana
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