I Love You More...

The mind of one who thinks they're in love is dangerous enough, but for it to be your mind and for others to try and guide you in the opposite direction is even more.

I love my boyfriend, the thought of him makes me smile, holding him close brings relief, his touch is enough to make my heart jump and his kiss feels like electricity, running through my whole body, effecting every inch of me.

We seem perfect for each other, but like every flower, there is an imperfection that can only been seen once you're past the surface. Within is where true beauty lies, but sometimes, you do not view it as the beauty it is, you view it as something else.

Recently, that imperfection has been slipping through our fairytale.

Something happened for us to be distant with each other, for our usual quick of the mark, the wit, we've both gifted with to disappear and our conversations become forced.

I love him with everything that I can possibly offer, but is that enough for him, does he want more, desire more?

Am I just possibly not the right person for him?

Our argument on Sunday night was small, and very very pathetic, it was not needed, and I feel all the worse for it, we've grown apart in a matter of hours and I saw a side to my love I never wanted to.

Although I count him as a friend, this proves he's not the closest, we aren't as close as we should be, or perhaps this is the way we were supposed to be.

Loosing him would destory me.

That I know, not being with him for a few days kills me, I miss him, I think about him all the time, and if there is a way I could see him all day, everyday I would do it within a heartbeat.

He's away for a week, and I haven't seen him since our argument, he seems cold and distant with him but assures me he's fine, I don't know him well enough to know if its me he's bullshitting or himself. Other things may be on his mind of course, but i suppose this is my paranioa showing through again.

If only he understood how much this hurt me, to not have him talk to me like he once did... I miss him so much and he knows me, at least I hope he does.

At the end of each conversation we have I tell him 'I love you' he replies as always but I add 'I love you more', I mean this... he doesn't know how many fallouts and argurments I've had with friends to be where I am with him today. He may never know, and that is perhaps for the better.

I love him with every fibure of my being, I hope he at least knows that.