Best...birthday...ever

The groin-hit. Known to all as the most painful experience a guy can go through. But let’s face it; when it happens to somebody else, it’s pretty darn funny.
It was at the skate park with the rest of the guys I knew. Everybody was there. Not everybody literally but everybody that I knew that skated. Rick, Neville (call him Nev if you know what’s good for you), Ted, Ben and me. We were all there because it was Benny’s birthday. He’d turned fifteen a few days back. Too bad it wasn’t on a school day – otherwise we would’ve brought in streamers and party poppers to the classroom. That’s what we’d done for mine last year; boy did that piss off the teachers. I don’t see why though; birthdays are something to be celebrated! And celebrated in style!
The excuse didn’t work though; we were still sent to the principal’s office. Rick was imitating her at the moment.
“My name is Werewolf! Ra-ra-ra-ra!” He growled, making claws with his hands and pretending to foam at the mouth. The rest of us laughed. Her actual name was Miss Were – and with a temper like that it was obvious why she was still single at 50 – Were/Werewolf. That’s how she got the nickname.
Nev and Ted were doing some quick tricks in the bowl. I looked over.
“GUYS! GET OVER ‘ERE!” I yelled. “WE GOTTA WISH BENNY-BOY A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!”
“IN A WHILE!!” Ted yelled out. He was doing a quick grind over the pole.
Ben grinned and had the tiniest tinge of pink in his cheeks. “Shut up mate – It’s just 15 years. The cake can wait; the skating can’t.” He looked eager to get onto his board.
“But it took me forever to make this!” Protested Rick, holding up a large mangled-looking cupcake. The green icing across it wrote; “Happy 15th Ben”.
Ben laughed. “Had to blow up the kitchen several times before you got it right eh?”
Rick gave him a goofy kind of smile. “You know me man! I can’t work with those damn ovens! They’re against me!”
“Yeah we figured – they’ve been conspiring against you since that time in year seven in cooking.” I snickered, remembering the smoke it had caused and the chaos that had erupted afterwards. The teachers nearly had heart attacks; we all had to be evacuated from the corridor.
“Exactly!” Rick said, waving the cupcake around madly.
Nev rolled up beside us.
“Ello gov.” He said, putting on a fake English accent.
Ted soon followed.
Alright – finally – they were all here. Rick stuck a candle into the cupcake at an odd angle and got a lighter out, holding the cake in the middle of our circle.
“That candle’s leaning a bit too close toward me.” Ted said, eyeing the candle.
“Well just be happy that if I miss and the whole thing tips over and catches fire that you’ll be the one burning. That’ll give the rest of us enough time to run.” Rick said, clicking the lighter.
Ted laughed sarcastically. “Thanks Rick – that makes me feel a whole lot better.”
“Give the bloody thing here.” I said, grabbing the lighter off Rick. I clicked it once and the flame appeared; I pressed it onto the candle wick and then let it go out. The candle was now burning happily.
I started the singing. “Happy birthday dear Benny-boy!”
The rest of the guys joined in – Ben just grinned and rolled his eyes.
“…You look like an idiot, aaaaand ya smell like a piece of poo!”
We all cheered and whooped, giving Ben a nudge. Rick shoved the cupcake under his nose, but before he could blow the candle out, we heard a second round of clapping. We turned round and saw none other than Mitch and Bryce – the two dickheads that think they’re all that. They think they own the skate park with their little cheap-*bunny* BMX bikes. They had the bikes with them.
I rolled my eyes.
“Nice singing choir boys – practicing for Australian Idol are we?” Mitch called out.
“Get lost dooshbags! This is a skate park! Not a prissy-bike-with-handlebars-so-I-don’t-fall-off-because-I-can’t-ride-properly park!” Ted yelled.
I gave him a non-plussed look. “What the hell kinda comeback was that?” I mouthed at him.
“Yeah right – we can ride better than you’s can!” Bryce yelled down.
“Is that a challenge?” I grinned.
“Bring it fool!” Ben yelled, kicking his board down and stepping up.
The other guys did the same; Mitch and Bryce did the same with their bikes. It was like the Mexican stand-offs. Man I wish I had my camera.
“You go first! That way we can see what fakers you are!” Bryce called out.
“Ha! We’ll see who’re the fakers soon enough!” Nev yelled.
Me, Nev and Ben took to the ramps and started pulling out some of our moves. There were pole grinds, kick flips – Ben even did a 360 kick flip – he looked like he was having the time of his life!
Mitch and Bryce were yelling distractions and shaking their ugly butts at us. It didn’t work; we were rocking the house here!
We skated off one after the other and came to a nice halt: Rick and Ted clasped our hands and patted us on the backs in congratulations.
“Nice moves mate!” Ted grinned at me.
Mitch and Bryce were sulking. They got on their bikes and started going around the bowl. They pulled a few stunts; but they weren’t that awe inspiring. I saw Mitch about to try and grind the pole like we did. Now normally I’d be nice and let him get on with it – but they were distracting us all the while. So I figured I may as well just call out one little thing…
He was about to jump off and then I cupped my hands around my mouth.
“TITI-KAKA!!!” I yelled out.
Mitch lost his grip on the bike – he looked up and then looked shocked. He tried to regain balance, but it was too late. He went straight over the handlebars – he was about to face plant the ground, but he slipped and his legs flew open – hitting the pole smack bang in the middle.
We nearly fell over pissing ourselves laughing. Bryce was even snickering as he helped his red-faced friend up. Mitch was still bending over clutching himself.
“Dude – you were hauling so much *bunny*…”
“Shut up!”
The disgraced pair hobbled off and ran away. We were still cacking ourselves. Ben looked at me through his tears of laughter and hi-fived me.
“Best…birthday…EVER!” He laughed.