It Hurts

Never good enough.  You'll never be good enough.  There will always be someone skinnier than you, prettier than you, taller than you, smarter than you, cooler than you.  Your boyfriend will always find someone better to yearn after, to long for.  You are certainly not enough, you'll never be enough.  That is just the way it is.  You can try, but you will always be ugly, always be fat, always be not cool enough, not smart enough. She's better than you.  He can tell you a million times you are the best and he would choose you over her any day.  But you know he is lying, and the damage is already done.  Another chunk of insecurity added to the pile.  He wouldn't be yearning after her if you were perfect.  There's something wrong with *you*, and I hate you for it.  I scream at you.  I hit you.  I pinch you.  And I want you to go away.  But you can't and you won't, because I am inside of you, a part of you.  FUCK, I don't want to be!  You confine me, making me hideous.  But maybe I am ugly on the inside too.  Then there are no excuses.  You disgust me, it makes me nauseous just to see you in that glassy reflection.  Holy shit, you are even uglier when you cry.1