Deserving Love

“Aren’t the stars the most beautiful here?” Danny said, his eyes flickering up to the heavens. My eyes followed his and were met with a fantastic sight. It was the clearest night in months and the twinkling, sparkling stars littered the darkness in the most dazzling patterns. It was an amazing spectacle and I just wanted to lie right there on the dew covered grass and savor the sight.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye a while later that Danny wasn’t looking at the sky anymore. His attention was on me instead. A wave of self-consciousness flooded me and I looked down at my hands. He’d put so much thought into this night, I realized. first there had been that amazing dinner and now this. I felt suddenly guilty that all that thought was wasted on me. He put his hands on either side of my face and made me look him in his deep blue eyes. I tried to look away, but he made it impossible to look away from that piercing, fierce gaze of his.

“You mean everything to me.” He said, his voice saturated with honesty. My breath caught in my chest and my heart felt like it was doing flip-flops. Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to make me feel special like that? I mean, I’m nothing special what so ever. I’m just – just me. I’m plain and ordinary and boring beyond anything else. My brown eyes and long brown hair reeks with dullness and my face is pale and so regular. I have wondered for the longest time why he chose me. Why did this gorgeous, flawless, person gazing at me actually want me?

“Why?” I asked, tears beginning to swell in my eyes.

He frowned looking very hurt and displeased. I recoiled a little feeling a bit ashamed for the emotions I had created in him. I’m nothing but a bother to him, and he knows it. I feel like I’ve never been good enough to deserve such an amazing man like him in my life. After all, I’m nothing but a waste of air and space. My drunken mother reminds me everyday.

“How could you say that?” He said, releasing my face now. I wished he would take it back in his warm hands again as the chilly fall night breeze rushed at me. “How many times do I have to tell you that I love you?”

I shifted my gaze to my feet advertently. He has been telling me this for the longest time now it seems. Of course I love him back, I’ve told him so, I just still feel like I don’t deserve his love. I bit my lower lip insecurely.

“I just, don’t think that you should love someone like me.” I said finally, without looking up. I didn’t want to see that look of shock I knew he was giving me.

“Lucy,” I looked up involuntarily at the mention of my name. The look on his face made my gaze linger on his beautiful features. His whole expression had softened and he was looking at me with the utmost tenderness in his eyes. He grabbed my waist and pulled me into an embrace. He folded his long arms around my body and hugged me close to his chest. With my ear pressed up against his chest like that I could hear his heart beating steadily.

“How could I not love you?” he asked, tightening his grasp on me ever so slightly. “You are the most amazing person I’ve ever known.”

“Wh – what?” I said, beginning to become somewhat flustered and confused. It was so incredibly warm here in his arms. That chilly breeze that was blowing through the park didn’t bother me a bit now. I never wanted him to let me go.

“Don’t ever think that you’re not good enough or put yourself down like I know you do. You are the kindest, sweetest, most beautiful girl in my life.” He took his hand and lifted my chin a tad so I was staring at his face again. “Got that?” He grinned, flashing me with is perfect teeth. I just gaped at him, my mouth open slightly, my eyes round and mystified.

“Yeah,” I said, mostly because I didn’t know what else to say, but I actually think I believed it too.

He started leaning in slowly and I felt my heart go into overdrive. No matter how many times he’s done it before my heart reacts the same way every time. When his nose grazed mine he paused slightly and took a glace into my eyes. I felt his breath, warm and soft, on my cheek. His lips touched mine, ever so gently at first, but soon grew more passionate. When we finally broke apart I could hear my pulse rushing in my ears. I felt slightly dizzy in the best of ways.

“I love you,” I whispered. His eyes where still closed but he smiled slightly.

“You know I love you.” He whispered back. There was no doubt anywhere in my mind that he meant it truly. I sighed, resting my head back on his chest, and just accepted his love. I realized now that I am just as deserving of this amazing gift as anyone else, and I guess I’m just so blessed to have it and should appreciate it.