North Yorkshire, 17591
The cool night breeze tossed the branches together, making them whisper to one another, as though they were the only ones with a secret tonight. A light aroma of sweet summer flowers drifted through the small clearing where a shadowy figure breathed heavily. The clearing was lit by a single ray of silvery moonlight piercing through the trees, fireflies dancing in its glow, while the unsettling silence weighed heavily on the summer night air.2
The figure shifted slightly, causing excitement amongst the fireflies and a change in the heavy silence. Peering through the frame of trees and branches in front of him, he looked across at the wood and dusty road. Slowly, he moved through the grass until he was only a few feet away from the edge of the road, his amber eyes glowing, his hair bristling in the soft air. He could hear the steadily-getting-closer rattle of carriage wheels. The scent of the woods was now mixed with the strong aroma of horses and the conflicting sweetness of a lady's perfume.3
His heart began beating faster; the blood in his veins ran faster as his muscles readied themselves for the sprint he knew was coming. His breathing grew ever faster as the rattle and clapping of horses’ hooves and the carriage grew ever nearer.4
A long thread of saliva stretched from the side of his jaw. He knew that he should try to fight these feelings of excitement and overwhelming power, but it was so much more thrilling to let them take over. After all, he pondered as his victims unknowingly rode towards their fate, Isn’t that what separates us from the animals? And that was indeed an interesting question to ask in his present state.......5
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Present day
"...And that is the basic framework of the schizophrenic mind. Next week we'll be discussing why people become schizophrenic and what can trigger it. I'll see you all next week." Professor Erin Miller began neatly collecting her papers from her desk as the class began to leave, a loud murmuring of conversation filling the room as the students began to file out.7
"Erin! It’s been a while!"8
She looked up quickly, her long brown hair swaying across her face, her light blue eyes staring across the lecture room.9
"Professor Whitfield, hello!" Erin's tone was polite but without being cordial. "What a surprise! What brings you down here from the practice?"10
The 'practice' she referred to was a private surgery the professor had opened as a place for him to see his patients who had psychological problems, but no financial problems. Erin thought this was wrong, to choose who had help with their problems based on the size of their bank balances.11
"Well, I'll get straight to the point." He paused for a second, as if collecting his thoughts, scratching his white beard thoughtfully, looking like a serious, understated Father Christmas. "We have a patient at the practice who is a little..." here, he paused again. “A little 'non-textbook'."12
"In what way?" She cleared some of her desk and sat on the wooden top, eyes attentive to what was being said.13
Professor Whitfield smiled, tiredly. "He believes he is a lycanthrope."14
"A what?"15
"A lycanthrope-a werewolf."16
Erin looked at him in surprise, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. "And where do I come into this?"17
"You are the leading expert in this country in schizophrenic cases. And I'd like you to take this case." He peered at her expectantly, like a dog waiting for a treat.18
Erin sighed, slid off the desk and walked around it. She shook her head slightly, and then looked up at him. "I don't know. You know I don't believe in private practices Frank....and besides, I have so much to do here..."19
"Look, I know how you feel about my practice, and I wouldn't ask but..." He sighed again, and pulled a chair in front of her desk, sitting down heavily. "He has been one of our patients for two years now, and we haven't made any progress with him. He continues to act aggressively towards nurses; he's even seriously injured one of them."20
Erin gasped. "What happened?"21
"Well, the nurse went into his room alone, to give him his dinner. She has told us that he was sat quite calmly on his bed, reading a book. He then told her he wasn't hungry and could she please take it out. She refused and said she would leave it on a table for him. He then asked her again in an aggressive tone and began making growling noises; but this was usual and she ignored it." He looked up at Erin, swallowing slowly, as if his next words were a nasty-tasting pill he had to swallow. "From outside, there were two nurses who heard an unearthly screaming. They hit the alarm and raced to his room. They ran in on him trying to rip out the nurse's throat."22
Erin's mouth fell open. "That’s horrible! Is she alright?"23
The professor nodded slowly. "Yes, well...she’s physically alright, but..." he trailed off.24
"And you want me...to go in with this maniac and talk to him? This is way beyond anything else I've dealt with and-"25
"There's something else." Professor Whitfield cut her off, and raising himself from the chair, slowly paced across to the window and back again. "He has specifically asked for you."26
Erin looked, puzzled, at the back of the professor. "Asked for me?"27
"Yes." Frank Whitfield turned back and looked squarely at her. "It would appear you have a fan."28
"Well...."29
"Look, I'll leave you his file, look over it, ring me in the morning." he smiled, placing a pink paper file on her desk. He then turned and quietly went out without another word.30
Erin looked down doubtfully at the file.31
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Erin paced across her warm living room, the soft glow of her electric fire reflecting off her red sofa. It had been playing on her mind since Professor Whitfield left the pink file on her desk.33
It sounded so intriguing, but it was also going against her principles. She sighed, and heavily flopped down on a chair, and picked up the folder she had carelessly thrown on her mahogany and glass table.34
Fingering the sharp spine with one finger, Erin sighed again, studying the file. She was curious, but at the same time, she knew that she would want to carry on this case if she looked at it.35
"Oh what the hell, just look at it Erin." she muttered to herself impatiently. Taking a deep breath, she opened the file to reveal carefully typed case notes with a Polaroid photograph paper-clipped to the first page.36
The photograph showed a young man in his mid twenties, with soft black hair cut short, and an infectious smile. But the most strange-and also the most striking-thing about him was his eyes. They were a brilliant amber colour, looking straight at the camera, a strange mix of coolness and warmth.37
Erin stared for a moment at the photo, and then carefully laid it aside for a moment. She continued to look through the file. The first typed sheet was simply detailing when he was sectioned, and to which ward. The second sheet seemed more interesting, it listed his symptoms. Erin pulled it out and began to read aloud to herself.
"Delusions of being able to change into a lycanthrope, aggressiveness, growling sounds, socially inept, egocentric..."
Erin shook her head sadly, as she read down the list. When she had finished, she set it aside with his photograph gently. She then leafed through endless sheets of medication lists and daily reports until she stopped, and slowly took out one paper. It was handwritten, not typed, and it was almost all written with an old-fashioned hand, except for a few sentences at the top. Erin began to read.38
'Whitfield Institution, August 20--
This is a small piece wrote by the patient Conner Woods, this shall be used for psychological evaluation only. This shall be in his own words and it shall be a personal statement.'
It was then signed by Professor Whitfield. Erin's eyes travelled further down the page to the neat slanting letters penned by Conner Woods.39
'Dear reader,
I am sure you will know nothing true of me until I have finished writing, so please do not make up your opinion of me from what you hear from others, judge me from my own words.40
My name is Conner William Woods, and I was born in the village of Tuftwerpe in North Yorkshire in 1707. I was born on the 14th of December, a cold yet beautiful day, my mother always told me. I was one of six, having four sisters and a brother. My brother was younger than me, and I loved him more than anything. I was his protector, his warrior, and his best friend.41
Their names are not important, and they have blended so far into the fog of time that it would make no difference. I simply remember what I felt, and that is all.
I was always different. All of my siblings had fair blond hair like my father, with soft brown eyes. I had my mother's brunette locks, and strangest of all-amber eyes, bright as an owls. My father always treated me differently-not without love; I had no want of that-but with a slight anxiety, as though I might snap with a violent temper or emotional crying at a moment's notice.
We lived very comfortably at that time, quite happy. My father was a doctor and also owned most of the village, from a large fortune that had been handed down to him. Our home was a large white-washed farmhouse, with several acres of woods and land. I seem to remember my childhood with a rosy glow, warm and safe.42
Everyone has a distinct point in their lives where everything in their lives changes. For some, it is when they become parents, or when they find their soulmate, or when they discover their destiny. For me, this turning point came when I became eighteen.43
For the first time in my life, it was a stressful time. My tutor had just announced that it was time for me to learn a trade or go to university. My father grew ever distant and now barely spoke to me.44
I had gone for an evening walk after dinner, in the sky a weak, early moon, tried to compete with the brilliance of the setting sun. The grass shushed at me as I walked through its long stalks. I had been walking through the woods for quite some time when I came across something that made me stop, quickly.45
It was a small wooden hut. Its rotted door hung from ivy hinges, and moss creeped into every little crack in the aged wood. A memory from childhood crept into my mind. I had come across it once before, at the age of six or seven, and ran to my mother, lagging behind, delighted at my discovery. As I told her, her face fell. "You must never go there again! Never!" she grabbed my arm and pulled me back along the path, sobbing and distraught.
As the memory faded, I looked again at the small hut. I should have walked away, but something compelled me to go forward, to answer this unknown question in my mind. I took a deep breath and pulled the rotting door open.46
Inside, to my surprise, there was a single wooden bed and a mahogany bookshelf along the far wall. There was a small, well used wooden desk below the dusty window, and a threadbare rug adorned the floor. I walked over to the desk, where a long-ago written letter lay on top, tied with a faded pink ribbon. I sat down on the bed,coughed at the clouds of dust that rose, and carefully untied the letter.47
'My Darling Lucius,
This is the last time you shall hear of me, for our affair must end. I love you more than life itself, but it cannot be-I am married, although I would throw that away in a moment, but I also love my daughters, I cannot leave them. And please don't say I could bring them, I cannot because of your affliction, it would never be right.
I am with your child, who shall always remind me of you but you cannot see him. Please respect my wishes, it must be this way, but I shall never forget you.
Yours eternally,
Rosa. '48
Rosa was my mother's name.49
The shock hit me in an icy wave. Affair? With child? Affliction?
I dropped to the floor, clouds of dust floating up, a white-hot anger washing over me. I jumped up and began to run through the woods, now ugly and broken thanks to the ugliness in my mind. The white-hot anger began to boil as I thought of my mother in there with some other man, my father back at the house not less than a mile away. And then the thought hit me. I was the 'with child'. I felt sick for a moment, and briefly thought of how I had always looked so different from my siblings.50
My head reeling, I ran back to the house, time standing still as I angrily clutched the letter in my fist. I don't remember how long it took, and I don't remember bursting into my mother's sewing room in fury.51
She was alone, and looked up at me in shock. I threw the letter at her feet, and glared furiously at her. There was a moment’s pause, before she slowly bent and picked up the note.52
"So you know then?" she quietly asked. The words echoed deafeningly in the silence.53
"Yes I know!" I hissed. "How much of it is true?"54
She sighed, and walked over to the window seat. Taking a second to look out into the night, she sat down.55
"I met your father,-your real father-when I was a little girl. He lived in the village and was like an older brother to me. When he became old enough, he left for the army. He returned many years later, when I was still young but married to your father with your three older sisters.56
To cut a long story short, we fell in love and began our affair. I later found out he was a.......well, a werewolf."57
"WHAT!" That was his.....affliction?"58
I collapsed to the floor, my head suddenly going light and my knees going weak. Gasping for air, I shook my head violently as if this was all a nightmare. "No! You're a liar! “I pointed a shaking finger at my mother, "You're a liar and a bitch!" I hissed through my teeth, tears beginning to angrily roll down my cheeks.59
My mother watched all this, unmoved. For the first time in my life I was disgusted with her.60
"I am no bitch. And I'm afraid that was his affliction."61
"Then you're a whore!" My mother still stood, not shocked, by my outbursts. "You're a ......." my voice broke, and I turned away from her for a moment.62
"But...but...they aren't real! They don't exist!" my voice trailed off as I shook my head in disbelief. My mother spoke gently.63
"Darling, I'm afraid they do exist, and your father-your real father-was one. The hut in the woods was where he and I would meet. You were conceived there, under a full moon. You are also, like your father, a werewolf."64
I gasped, and backed away, as though to escape her words. "But...but I can't be, I would have noticed before now..." my voice trailed off again.65
My mother smiled, kindly. "Darling, your father-well, your stepfather-is a doctor. I sedated you every night of your life so you would never awake and find out."66
"And my real father?"67
"Is Lucius O'Neil. He was an Irishman born many, many years ago."
Those were the last words I ever heard my mother speak.68
Trembling, half in a trance, I ran downstairs and outside. I ran through the village, hearing the shouts behind me, and I didn't stop running until it was quiet and I no longer knew where I was. I collapsed in some long grass, sobbing and shivering.69
I never saw my family again.70
Over the years, I travelled from place to place, getting a few jobs here and there to pay my way. I changed into my wolf form many times, but I was disgusted at myself and would hide myself away, instead of becoming the monster I knew the world would see me as.71
I changed my family name to Woods, and I no longer remember the one I had for all my childhood.72
So that is my story, and you may judge me.
Conner Woods'73
Erin stared sadly at the pages for a moment, collecting her thoughts. She lifted the file off her knee and placed it back on her table. Raising herself off the red and gold armchair, she walked over to her house phone. Taking a deep breath, she quickly dialled a number, and raised the receiver to her ear.74
"Hello?"75
"Hello, Professor Whitfield?"76
"Erin! Have you reconsidered my offer?"77
She took another breath, realising there was no way out if she agreed. "Yes."78
"Wonderful! I'll see you tomorrow up at the surgery then, bye for now!"79
"Okay, goodbye."80
Erin replaced the receiver, and glanced across at the papers still laid on the arm of the chair. She walked across, and picked up the young man's photo again. Smiling, she shook her head at his frozen expression.81
"Its strange." she murmured to herself. "It seemed so real."
Author notes
For a contest: MoonRoseWolf
In a list
A contest entry
- Famous Monsters by necronomijon.
350 points, ended August 28, 2007, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Wings, Feathers, and Fur in Fantasy by Tantith Wolfe.
175 points, ended October 14, 2007, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The "mature" contest.... by EnemyOfAll.
225 points, ended September 20, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - First chapters wanted!!!! by Surreal Rhapsody.
175 points, ended October 6, 2007, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Prologues And First chapters by Ayesha Raees.
190 points, ended November 20, 2007, 25 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Wolves by ice wolf.
350 points, ended February 13, 2008, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Miss Fang.
600 points, ended March 7, 2008, 27 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ALMOST ANYTHING WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Cecilia Marlana.
100 points, ended April 10, 2008, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Nominate Your Friends by Taylor Renee.
225 points, ended June 19, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Going for Gold! by Neolittlefish.
150 points, ended October 21, 2008, 44 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - the unsimple challenge QUALIFYING ROUND by DemApples.
100 points, ended October 26, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Believable supernatural! by cole3313.
350 points, ended October 26, 2008, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want werewolves!!!! by amanda vampiress.
245 points, ended November 12, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Share the Spoils by tallblondie.
900 points, ended November 19, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Show off your talent X3 by xXSnickiesXx.
600 points, ended January 16, 101 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Fanstasy by poetry is soul.
325 points, ended December 7, 2008, 46 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - For the Wolf Lovers by Celestial Rose.
600 points, ended December 22, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Imagination by MidniteRockers.
370 points, ended December 17, 2008, 75 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - .have at it. by A.N. and A.L..
150 points, ended January 23, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Vampires? Zombies? Werewolves? OH MY! by Melli.
260 points, ended January 18, 29 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Tragic Hero(Prewrites Allowed) by Cupcake14.
100 points, ended March 2, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Contest ANYTHING!!!!!!! by DeathByChocolate.
170 points, ended April 13, 48 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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great, great story,I luved it thats all I have tto say=]
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okay, first off, ignore my first comment; i accidently posted it ont he wrong story. I like THIS story a lot. I love how you went to the past anad brought it back up to present time. overall i like it a lot, i love werewolf stories
GOOD LUCK! -
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No problem, I've done that before myself
I'm glad you enjoyed it, thank you for reading and commenting on all the stories I put in your contest
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I read this, then read the second chapter and now I have returned to comment! Okay, i think its great! I love your take on demons! Well written, the whole chapter is intersting and it makes you want to read more Did you write a third chapter? just wondering
GOOD LUCK!
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Demon? This is about werewolves....
I did, I had a lot more chapters, but I took them down as it got published as a full book recently.
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Incredible
Takes the reader on a journey to say the least. Fast pace and very well writen.
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Awsome
I love how you put so much detail into your writing, i can see it so well. I hope to read more!beginning: 2, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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awesome
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Very amazing... I am so looking forward to going through all of this and reading over it slowly and happily.
You have beautifully and vividly written descriptions and imagery throughout and I was intrigued with the characters.
Pssst.. my last name is Whitfield. lol go figure! Great work. You should be very proud of this (and I'm sure you are!)
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Thank you very much And how weird! I thought I'd made the name up lol
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope you enjoy the others if you do read them
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This is really not what I wanted...Conner is a werewolf not by choice, but because of what his mother did all those years ago. At the same time, I do feel quite sorry for him. Best of luck in the contest, and thank you very much for entering. I doubt whether I could have written such a story myself.
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Yeah! I finally had some time to read this and I'm very happy I did.
only saw a couple very minor things;
p22 "was sat quite calmly" hmmm... I think the tense is wrong, probably should be either set or sitting, not sure.
p34 this last sentence has a lot of "and" in it.
p48 letter within a letter cool! I always liked stories or plays within a story so this is a nice twist.
Quite entertaining and interesting story so far. I like the Conner character already. I'll certainly be back to read more
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No, it's definately 'sat', I do proofreading for a living, so I'm in trouble if I don't know tenses! lol
I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, and thank you for leaving a comment
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just sounds funny.
But hey, everybody makes mistakes. My turn this time.
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This is amazing!!! I wonder what's going to happen next!! Great job!! You caught my attention and kept it all the way through, and I was on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next. You did an amazing story here!! Its perfect! - you deserve this! Your imagery is simply stunning. Its almost as if I were there, walking with Erin, seeing and feeling what she did. Wonderful!!
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damn,that letter really got my attention! i was on the edge of my seat the whole time i read this. the imagery in this story is amazing, and i am looking forward to reading more. i see that you entered the second chapter of this story into my contest, so i am going to go and read that right away. lol. great job!
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I liked this.
There were alot of impressive vocabulary =]
It caught my attention and held it all the way through.
♥Best of luck -
Ahhh alright. Now tis making better sense.
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I'm glad it's making more sense now
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Though I know that you've been working on this series for a while, I've never actually sat down and read any of the chapters, and so I am glad that you chose to enter this into my contest. Your writing flows well, and you use descriptions and imagery to their full advantage in this story. The characters are also rich and dimensional, and I liked how you used the autobiographical narrative in the mid and latter part of this for the character exposition of Conner. Overall, a brilliant start to your longer work.
Thank you for your entry in Share the Spoils.
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This was really good! I love the descriptions. You are a very good writer, and it shows in your work. I think this was unique, and enthralling. The first few paragraphs pulled me in, but I got a little bored around the middle, but that is to be expected at some point. lol (kinda short attention span ) The plot, was great! Structure, superb! Character development was very well written as well. You did a very good job on this. Thank you for entering my contest and keep up the great work.
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THis was really good. Your a great writer. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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TITLE = 2/2PTS
STRUCTURE = 28/30PTS
FLOW = 14/15PTS
CHARACTERS = 20/20PTS
IMAGERY = 18/18PTS
DESCRIPTION = 5/5PTS
SETTING = 10/10PTS
total = 97 -
Wow this was a great first chapter, I can see why it won quite a few competitions. I really liked the first few paragraphs, the description was very good and it definately pulled me into the story!
I liked the way that in Conner's letter, his voice sounded like it was a hundreds of years old.
I think you've made some great characters and I can't wait to see Erin meet Conner.
Weldone
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ok i got your username but what iks the phrase that should be in your authors notes after your username?
you have a day to add the phase if you want me to score this -
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Hi, sorry about that, I've added it now
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That is really, really great! The details grabbed my attention, and I could not stop reading.
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Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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I loved the description and the imagination that went into the story, I look forward to reading more of your work
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I haven't read the whole thing yet and will, but I wanted to briefly note one (EDIT: I meant "not so major") thing that probably should be changed. The "framework of the schizophrenic mind" is unknown to science, as are the causes of it and what triggers of it. All that's known for certain is that it has some neurological or physiological basis, and that it usually manifests between 15 and the early twenties. So your teacher sounds like he has no idea what the hell he's talking about, as a result, because none of what he's claiming to teach actually exists. However, since most people don't actually know how much of a mystery schizophrenia is, it's not surprising that you didn't either. (Unless you had a teacher or someone claim otherwise; in which case, said teacher should take a look at the actual data out there. There's a whole of of it, and it all says, "We know basically nothing about this disorder.")
It's a pretty minor detail for the actual story, but if you want psychology-educated people to not flinch at your doctor, you should probably change that to a better-known disorder.
EDIT: Also, after having read further, someone who believes he's a lycanthrope would probably not be diagnosed as schizophrenic unless he also seemed to be suffering from specifically *schizophrenic* symptoms such as flat affect, disorganized thought, loosening of associations/"clang" associations, and that sort of thing. It would more likely be classified as a psychotic delusion, and specifically diagnosed as Psychotic Disorder NOS or maybe Schizotypal Disorder until the duration of the disturbance can be proven to have lasted longer than six months. And if they're not shy about leaving DSM behind, they could just diagnose lycanthropy -- it's an actual disorder, albeit an archaic one that's not really used anymore. -
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Well, I have actually studied psychology, or I wouldn't dare include in this story. Try to see beyond the words right there. By the 'framework of the schizophrenic mind' I meant simply the 'bookmarks'or the symptoms by which doctors use to understand how it may work. I chose this disorder as all of the symptoms are mentioned fully in a later chapter with a more specifc disorder, which is a form of schizophrenia. Don't forget there are seven seperate forms of schizophrenia, all with different symptoms, so I don't understand how you can assume it is just one.
As well as having studied it, I did a lot of research before I chose to do it this way, and I have asked some of my friends who still study it, (one of them teaches psychology) and they seemed to have no problem with it.
Psychology is not an exact science and so many things can be interpreted in different ways by different doctors. The point later on is that he is mis-diagnosed, so this gets changed.
It's nice that you bothered to realise that the doctor is a 'she' and not a 'he' as well.
I don't mean any offence by this, I'm simply stating my side of things. Thank you very much for reading and commenting on my chapter
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Are "post-schizophrenic depression" and "simple" the other two you were referring do? *doing Internet research*
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Yes they were (Quick sneaky check on wikipedia as I have no idea where my book is) I know they're less common but I include them anyhow
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Simple schizophrenia is an interesting idea. All negative symptoms, no positive, no active psychosis?
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I know....it makes you wonder why so many scientists are wasting their time on possibly swallowing up the earth with the Hadon Collier when we have so many unanswered mysteries like that already.
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I really wish the different scientific disciplines worked more closely together. It would save everyone a lot of work. Perfect example -- the physicists wouldn't be having to try to find a mathematical description/explanation of spacetime if they just knew that neurologists have recently been proving that "time" is a neurological phenomenon, not a physical one.
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True, but I think a lot of it is them wanting to prove something themselves and perhaps being too proud to admit they might be wrong-I mean they were building the Hadon Collier for twenty years, they'll probably just do it now out of stubboness
I think the major problem with psychology is that it isn't always seen as a proper science, due to it's ever changing opinions, experiments, and the fact it links itself with parapsychology.
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Oh, yes. As if it doesn't use the scientific method and rely on experimental ("empirical") data just the same as every other science. Ridiculous. And frankly, I haven't even done two years of college yet, and I'm still a better scientist than several PhDs I've seen in action. I at least can accept other people's data and let it correct my own.
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Exactly. They would learn a lot more if they bothered to listen to each other and work together. If anything, I see it as a better science because it is ready to change it's opinions with new information more readily than most other sciences.
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Indeed! I also like that it stubbornly asks questions most people are willing to toss off as "unanswerable", like the nature and structure of consciousness itself. It may well be unanswerable for us humans, at least at our current level, but why shouldn't we try anyway? We might learn something else even though we're aiming for this anyway; that happens so often in science it seems strange to me that anyone would argue with making that a secondary goal.
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I agree! My boyfriend is purist scientist, and although he did psychology in college, he deemed it 'easy', because he felt that it allowed so many answers. I like to think that because of this it makes it harder, and more of a challenge.
I mean, as humans we supposedly only use about 10% of our actual brain capacity, who knows what we could do with the other 80%? ~I am actually starting to become very interested in parapsychology, (partly because I'm Wiccan0 but also partly because I see it as the most challenging of all the sciences. -
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That bit about only using 10% of the brain is actually a misunderstood data point. We do use all of our brains that we have at one time, but here's the thing -- a lot of brain functions have redundant circuitry in case something goes wrong, so we don't usually *use* that redundant circuitry unless the something does go wrong. Hence the common misunderstanding that we don't use most of our brain. I don't remember exactly where the misunderstanding started, but I learnt that in my first neurology text.
Also, it's been recently verified that the brain can and does in fact produce new neurons all the time, even though we used to think it couldn't. The brain is, in fact, very mutable. So while we may use "all of our brains", that is, all the brain we have at that given moment, nothing's stopping us from encouraging our brains to develop neurons for specific purposes right now, and thus from making more brain to use! -
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No, I didn'tmean that we only use 10% of our brains, but in everday use, we use roughly about 10% of our actual usable brain capacity. Obviously a large part of that will be systems that are required to run the body, but I refuse to believe that something as evolved as man that has come so far so fast throughout history (not always in good directions)would only use a tiny portion of their brains.
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Ahhh, I see. Gotcha. Same idea, different words. ^^
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Well, I would *hope* so, but, you know, most people who include psychology have not been educated about it, so I never assume people have anymore because when I used to I always ended up talking over people's heads and being a confusing dick. So I try not to do that anymore.
And of course your response is totally fair. I haven't even read the whole chapter, much less the whole work, so I don't know if there's specific reasons for what's there. I did want to note how it comes off to a fresh reader, though, just in case it matters to you that some people are gonna be thinking that.
Ahh, I see what you mean by "framework" now. See, I took the word totally differently. To me that implies a much deeper analysis. But obviously the specific shades of meaning of any given word are even less precise than psychology, so I won't quibble if you choose to keep the term. Probably it works for most everyone else anyway.
And are we up to seven, now? Hmm, I should look into that. I can only think of paranoid, disorganized, catatonic, residual, and undifferentiated off the top of my head. I wasn't assuming it was just one type so much as sticking to a generic concept of schizophrenia because I had no idea how much education on the subject you had and didn't want to confuse you going into the subtypes if you weren't already aware of them and didn't want to hear about it. I'm prone to rambling a lot and I'm trying to keep it down lately.
And it's certainly true that different doctors interpret things different ways. It might be a local stylistic difference between how it's seen and taught wherever you live and how it's seen and taught where I live that's causing us to see it differently, too.
No offense taken, nor would there be any. It's your story, you know it better than I do, and you're perfectly entitled to correct my understanding of it.
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Don't worry, I know what you mean about the psychology thing, but I really do appreciate you mentioning all the things you did. I find it much better when someone leaves a detailed comment rather that 'Wow! That was great', as it's flattering, but it doesn't help much.
I have a book somewhere from my classes that mentioned seven different types, but we could be up to more by the time I find it!
And don't worry about the rant thing, I'm quite prone to that myself sometimes
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Oh God yes, me too. I'd almost rather not get a comment than just get the short "It's good" ones. It's like, thanks, I know that, what I need you to tell me is what I *don't* know, like which parts suck!
Ah, class textbooks. DSM doesn't seem to acknowledge more than five types, but then, I only have DSM-IV. Maybe the newer IV-R or whatever they called the revised edition this time has them. I do have a case studies workbook from DSM-III-R that includes the concept of Simple Schizophrenia, but it's included among the International Cases as a "Soviet concept". -
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I know, I have several different textbooks from different eras, and we had a rubbish teacher in one of my classes, so we were told to 'see what our interpretations'......thanks for the teaching there!
A 'soviet concept' eh?.....feel sorry for people who have it. Although I suppose if you look at another way there are that few cases of it maybe it is just a concept. Getting philosophical (or as philosophical as I do) in my old age
And don't worry, if I ever comment on anything, I always try and make it as detailed as possible-I know most people will just skim through them, but meh-at least I get some points!
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Well, keep in mind, DSM-III-R is the late 70s and early 80s. America was pretty down on anything that came out of Russia back then. Maybe nowadays it's a more accepted idea here. Probably, if not, it's interpreted as Major Depression. Which may not be that bad an interpretation... I don't assume there are hard lines between the disorders, because after all, what we call "disorders" are in reality symptom clusters. A given symptom can result from any number of possible causes, and no two people manifest exactly the same symptoms, either. I tend to focus more on symptoms themselves than on traditional diagnostic categories as a result, personally.
EDIT: I meant to add, it might be a workable diagnosis because I myself have suffered Major Depression with Psychotic Features, and it's occurred to me to wonder just what the difference between that and Schizoaffective Disorder is, or between that and Schizophrenia with pronounced negative traits. -
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Thats all very true. I think perhaps it's just that the way I saw it would be interpreted as was different form yours because of the differing symptoms associated with so many diffent disorders.
Also, I live in England, so that may mean there are yet more local differences between our opinions.
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See, the thing is, I was *really* psychotic. I didn't just have a couple of little extra psychotic-seeming symptoms on top of normal major depression, I was full-blown schizophrenic-type paranoid. I didn't hallucinate voices talking to me, but I did often hear my name being called when it wasn't, and bizarre alien impossible sounds with no source. I had many visual illusions but no outright hallucinations. Many, many delusions, not all persecutory -- I genuinely thought that my bad thoughts hurt the people around me. And in the meantime my OCD chose to manifest in the form of compulsions to commit violence on others, which only made me even more paranoid of myself as well as everything around me.
In retrospect, while the theme of the psychosis was definitely depressive and anxiety-based, which fits the depression diagnosis, and while my disorder has been successfully treated with medical marijuana (I still have some residual depression, anxiety, and OCD issues, but all the really serious symptoms are totally gone, thank God,) I still can't help but see a lot of similarities between my illness and what's called schizophrenia, especially when I note that I was ill for two years before someone got me to try cannabis. The only reason my own psychologist stuck to Major Depression is that I had been depressed for a good six or seven years prior to *that*, and she viewed the newer issues as an exacerbation of the pre-existing condition rather than a new condition. Which is probably accurate, in my particular case, but still...
It makes me wonder if the endocannabinoid system is involved in these kind of mood- and mind-breaking disorders, because schizophrenia's onset is known to be *somehow* associated with cannabis use, but they don't know how exactly it's involved.
Perhaps it can be triggered when someone who's genetically prone to schizophrenia already uses cannabis and then stops, causing a deficiency as the brain, habituated to the use, struggles to make the chemicals on its own again, just like withdrawal syndrome in opiates? And for other people, who for genetic or other reasons are born or grow up with faulty endocannabinoid production or distribution, it would appear on its own without the need for cannabis use... which also frequently happens. -
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Wow, it does sound quite bad, I hope it's better for you to cope with now. (have this anyhoo
) I can understand where your psychologist was coming from, but they should perhaps have treated the newer symptoms on their own...but that's just my opinion.
I don't have schizophrenia myself, but it does runs (in odd gaps) in my family, although they reckon there'
s no proof of it following genetic traits. My great uncle had it, and also one of my great aunts. It was never treated in her, I think, but my uncle was treated, but I think personally they just try to find a 'cure' (such as it is) to fit what they best think fits best.
I have to admit I didn't know about the connection noted between cannabis and schizophrenia-makes me wonder what members of my family could have been up to It certainly seems like a very valid theory.
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It was nasty. I once hid in a closet for three days with bedding, a very large knife, non-perishable food, and my cats. I suspect that if someone outside my immediate family had opened the closet door while I was in there, I would have attacked them in "self-defense". Shared reality and I were not on speaking terms back then. I'm much better now, though, yes. Thank you. I still struggle with mental health issues, but it's a cakewalk compared to how it used to be.
The connection between schizophrenia and cannabis, and/or the endocannabinoid system, is very fuzzy on details, but it's been experimentally demonstrated several times. I've done experiments on myself which seem to indicate that my neurochemistry is extremely variant. (My therapist does neurofeedback, and between that and careful, scientifically guided drug experimentation, I've been able to identify a whole lot of subtle sensations and phenomena in my brain and body that I wouldn't have even noticed before. It requires responsibility, research, and intelligent application, but it's a very useful thing to do if you want to learn about your own brain.)
Specifically, the fact that I had used cannabis only very rarely and with absolutely no effect *before* my psychotic break, and the fact that using cannabis *after* the break caused an almost immediate recession of symptoms, is a very strong implication to me that something happened to break my endocannabinoid system which was before working just fine. And I don't think it was using cannabis, either, because as mentioned I only tried it twice or three times and never felt a thing from it, either bad or good. Confirmation seems to lie in the fact that, if I stop using cannabis, the symptoms immediately return. It doesn't take much to keep me stable, either... I typically smoke one pipe bowl in the morning, one pipe bowl before bed, and a hit here and there over the rest of the day. It's been extremely effective in controlling anxiety and psychotic symptoms, and pretty effective in controlling depression.
She did her best to treat the newer symptoms, but the only psychiatrist in the area that my insurance would let me see was incompetent -- the psychiatrist forced ever-higher doses of Seroquel on me until my psychologist wrote her a letter ordering her to stop because I was turning into a zombie and she didn't consider that an improvement in my condition, and I was afraid of neurofeedback at the time because the first time we tried it, it gave me horrible zombie nightmares for a week followed by a waking hypnogogic hallucination. It was very unpleasant and it made me not want to do it again. Fortunately once I was healthier I gave it another shot and it's been very helpful ever since, but my brain was *so* touchy back then... even now it's much more sensitive to that kind of manipulation than most people's. I have no idea if it's always been that way, or if it's become that way through my own determined efforts at self-programming, but if it's a lifelong trait, it might be related to the psychosis. I wonder if schizophrenics are ever tested for their neurological sensitivity in that regard? -
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I suppose it is a very good way of testing it if you're careful about it, and as you say, it would also be interesting to know if the onset of the over-sensitivity was already there or self-inflicted.
I think it's a shame that over there you have to go to whichever doctor or psychologist based on your bank balance; at least over here we have the NHS as well as having a private health service.
As well as the cannabis helping keep you stable, it does
seem to also be writing that keeps you somewhat stable It's also interesting on the idea of the endocannabinoid system thinking back into history, as in the nineteenth century, when drug use of cannabis and opium was especially high, was also the century where a huge amount of theories and inventions, literature and art appeared....really makes you think...
Also, I apologise if I'm getting less talkative, I'm getting sleepy as it's fairly late over here
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No problem! We've been going back and forth for a while here. I'll be around later and so will you. ^^
It is a shame; in fact, it makes me want to leave the country. I like the American *ideal*, but we've got a LONG way to go as far as actually achieving said ideal. When other Americans say we're the best, freest, most privileged, happiest nation in the world, I flinch. They have no idea how many corporate boots are on their back and they're so proud of their "freedom"... *sigh*
Writing is sort of a desperate, compulsive thing for me. The turmoil in my head spilling out on paper does help keep things quiet, but before the cannabis, it was a stopgap measure that was only minorly effective. I can blow off steam writing, but the steam always builds up faster than I can blow it off without cannabis's help. I do graphic art, poetry, sculpting, and other stuff, too. My personality and behavior is sort of an intricate balancing act between creative and destructive tendencies.
The endorphin system is also very important for emotional and intellectual functions, and the two systems activated in concert are capable of really fascinating things. So many "classic" poets, artists, and authors were opium users, or "tincture of Indian hemp" users... not to mention scientists, who used all kinds of crazy drugs because they were often the ones inventing them, and they weren't illegal yet. That's still true today, in fact. I've met a few research scientists that way, actually. XD
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Wow. That's just amazing. I love how you just put the images straight into my head. I also love how you described Connor's life into that letter.
Now Onwards to read more!
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Hey there ^^
A great beginning It's intriguing and the description is vivid. I think I'll read some more ^^
Eph
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This is good. really good. well developed and easy flowing. i enjoyed it alot. so on i must to read the other chapters. Great write Interesting Read
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I really love this! It definitely deserves its trophies.
The plot really got me, as well as it's written structure. It's awesome.
It got me excited to read more!
Great work, thank you so mcuh for entering my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!
xoxo
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Tay
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Very great read. I enjoyed most of it. The story flows wonderfully. Good work
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I like this- but in a few places you repeated a word in a sentence, like psychological problems and financial problems.(get what I'm saying?)
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Wow! This was absolutely amazing!
Excellent imagery, I mean REALLY good!
The storyline flowed perfectly as if it were real but I won't say anymore now because I have to go and read the other chapters
Excellent!
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Totally forgot the applause!! LOL
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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The first line "The cool night breeze tossed the branches together, making them whisper to one another, as though they were the only ones with a secret tonight." Is a definite eye catcher and a brillant start to the story!! It draws you into everything instantly. In paragraph two you could change "steadily getting closer" to "the Rapidly approaching rattle of carriage wheels". In paragraph 38 in your first sentence...it'd run smoother if you took out the second "moment" Just say that she set it aside. This is a damn good chapter hun!! I'm off to read the others...You've got me intrigued!!! **hugs** great write and you have a brillint way with words!!
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Brillant. Love the little foreshadowing at the very end. The only thing was that the letter seemed pretty detailed for well, a letter. Other than that, it's a fantastic chapter to draw in the reader.
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Para 4 'His breathing grew (ever) faster as the rattle and clapping of horses hooves and the carriage grew (ever) nearer.' Try not to repeat words in the same sentence, how about 'even' in place of the first 'ever'?
This was a really good chapter. The descriptions were good and the dialogue was believable. My only suggestion is to go through it and get rid of the unnecessary words. Cut the fat and they say. I do this all the time.
Brooke
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wow i really like this!! i am not normally for the whole fantasy thing but i really do like this. i will look forward to reading more of it
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Wow! First off congrats on all of the awards you have gotten for this one! I can certainly see why you won them as this is an excellent start to your novel. Conner sounds like a very interesting and intriguing character. I love the background info that you provided on him about his mother and father and how his mother had kept the secret hidden from him for so long by sedation. Poor thing. I can't wait to see how Erin will interact with him! Brilliant write!
~Joann
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What a great start
This novel is good, showing what may happen to creatures of the night if they are captured and locked up... mental disorders, we humans always use them to catalogue something that we can't understand... I hope that one day we will be able to accept people and their abilities or "gifts".
DarkOne -
Thought I'd stop by...
Okay, here I go. Hope this isn't too much. : )
A road isn't "dusty" unless something has gone down it, otherwise it's a dirt road, old road or cornered road.
"His hair bristling in the soft air" Think about how his hair could bristle in the "soft" air, it should be cold air, or chilled air.
it was awkward how you chose to go back to the present day, that could be a little smoother.
The 'practice' she referred to was a private surgery the professor had opened as a place for him to see his patients who had psychological problems, but no financial problems. Erin thought this was wrong, to choose who had help with their problems based on the size of their bank balances.[ This sentence is odd, It confused me quite a bit]
Be aware that this word A [ lycanthrope-a werewolf ] has been used before, "Lycan" from Underworld, and "Lycanthorpe" from Dresden Files. Sometimes it's better to come up with your own word for a Werewolf, possibly from another language or something.
At first glance this looks to be a nice and very well written chapter, you just have watch your words for detail. Think about what your writing. "The cold air brushd past him" how does this happen, where is the air coming from? Is he in a building? Think about all these things when you're writing, especially with characters who change their outer shapes.
Nice work on this, I'll continue reading on.
beginning: 5, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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The word "lycanthrope" is from Greek -- "lycos" = wolf, "anthropos" = human, therefore "lycanthrope" = wolf human. In point of fact, if a modern scientist were confronted with someone who believed himself to be a werewolf, he would in fact use the term "lycanthrope". It would be out of character for him to say anything else. It's as generic a word as "werewolf" itself, not a specific word for a race of werewolves like "Lycan" or "Garou".
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I understand where the word is from, and I also understand that it is not a word specifically for werewolves, I simply used it as it is a more interesting word for me to use rather than repeating werewolf all over the place.
Also, Lycan only means 'wolf', not 'werewolf', and I think you mean 'loup-garou'. -
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And no, I meant what I said. Those are both words that have been used as names for races of werewolves. The Lycan are from that one movie, I think it's called Underworld. And the Garou are from Werewolf: the Apocalypse. (In Japanese, "garou" means "hungry wolf", as an extra bit of data.)
To me, it makes perfect sense that a psychologist would refer to it as lycanthropy, given that lycanthropy was a diagnosable mental disorder just a couple hundred years ago. -
I was replying to the person who'd commented there telling you not to use the word 'lycanthrope' because it had already been used, not you, hon. I probably shouldn't have because it's such an old comment but I didn't notice until too late, and then I figured deleting it was pointless. I really shouldn't go online this soon after waking up. *self-directed eyeroll*
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Oops! Sorry, my bad. I should realise when people are agreeing with me and not look for starting a rant !
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Null persp. ^^
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I love the way this story sets the scene for the later chapters. I have got to read some more!
type errors:
chapter 22 'They ran in on him ripping out the nurse's throat' I think this should be 'They ran in on him trying to rip out the nurse's throat'
chapter 41 'loved himmore than anything' is missing a space
chapter 42 'treated me ... witha slight anxiety' I think brackets are needed instead of the hyphens and there is a space missing between 'with' and 'a'
hope this is helpful
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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This is so cool! Really! I like the way you write it
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Amazing
your opening paragrahs are amazing, you really know how to draw the reader into the story and feel the excitment along with your mysterious character who im assuming is connor.
exelant first chappter i will definatly be reading more.!
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Congratulations!
On your Golds and such. I never click on the feature box, smiles, I wish more would do the same.
I regret I did not begin this story before now, but I do like to read those who read and comment on me.
You have many appreciative readers and commentors, so suffice it to say I join their ranks in applauding a wonderfully conceived and presented story. I surely has my interest and I will continue.
There seem to be irregular paragraph notations on your story, thus I noted a few things and then stopped. Trust you appreciate the close read.
p2 lines 1&2 second, 'cause' is redundant...
in Present Day section, second 'her', the same...
farther down, 'pacifically', I am sure you intended 'specifically'.
I decided to just read the rest and enjoy without looking closely.
I do support another's suggestions that you separate paragraphs with line space, the monitor is not a book and it becomes difficult to follow.
Regards,,,
Amicus...
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'he has specifically asked for you."',
I was just reviewing this a little to remember what the story is about. I haven't kept up with this story. I'll try to read more after I've made sure where I left off. Which chapter are you wanting me to comment on?
Andy -
This is a well written story and I did enjoy reading it. Thank you for entering this contest and good luck.
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WOW!
I love it!
no totally.... i think this is great! There were no mistakes and the flow of words kept me staring at the text for such a long time! it looked like that there was a movie going on in my head! I was at the edge of my seat!
i totally love it!
its really awesome... grrreeeaaaattt!!!
when i will read all the other enteries, i will sure go to your profile and read the other chapters!
this is really very good.
i totally love it.!
good luck in the contest!
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Thank you very much! Its such a pleasure for me when people say they enjoy reading my stories, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Also, thank you for hosting this contest, you make the site more interesting for everyone
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Wow, though it is a bit of a weird subject for me, I have to say you have a beautiful writing style. A couple of places where your words got blended together(small typos), but your descriptions are very smooth and clear without being boring and redundant.
Look forward to reading more of your work
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Wow that was so good. I felt like I was there in the story. Well done!
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That was so good!!!! Your descriptions are amazing, and the plot point was origional. I like it how he didn't get bit by a warewolf, ut was born warewolf. Iy was really really good! ^.^!
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"he has pacifically asked for you." Do you mean specifically?
I liked the story and plot line. It really drew me in.
However, one of my rules was that stories were to be entered in no more than a couple other contests. I'll allow your story to remain in the contest for now but I reserve the right to change my mind later.
Thanks for entering! -
this was a very well written work, it was a bit over 2000 words, but thats okay, i really enjoyed the descriptions and it sucked me in quite quickly. there were a few grammatical errors, but not enough to take away from it, good write!
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The contest rules state no more than 1500 words, and this story has a good deal more than that. If you would like to maybe post just a part of it that demonstrates imaginative and vivid description of it's setting then I will read it and judge it.
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Okay, I must confess. I only read the first two sections. But, if I had the time, I would have definately read the rest.
You have an interesting beginning here- one that is both descriptive and well-paced. You described the profesor's manner quite well, also.
There are a few small things that I found:
"...towards nurses, he(')s even seriously injured one of them..."
"Look, I'll leave you his file,(should be either a period or a semi-colon) look over it,(perhaps "and" would work better here) ring me in the morning..."
"He then turned and quietly (went?) out without another word."
Thank you for entering and goodluck! -
My Verdict
Wow, I really like it. Poor Conner, I feel sorry for him. Anyway, I can't wait for chapter three. You are an awesome writer! Also, I think you could put spaces between paragraphs, like instead of
~I collapsed to the floor, my head suddenly going light and my knees going weak. Gasping for air, I shook my head violently as if this was all a nightmare. "No! You're a liar! " I pointed a shaking finger at my mother, "You're a liar and a witch!" I hissed through my teeth, tears beginning to angrily roll down my cheeks.
My mother watched all this, unmoved. For the first time in my life I was disgusted with her.
"I am no witch. And I'm afraid that was his affliction."~
You could do this:
~I collapsed to the floor, my head suddenly going light and my knees going weak. Gasping for air, I shook my head violently as if this was all a nightmare. "No! You're a liar! " I pointed a shaking finger at my mother, "You're a liar and a witch!" I hissed through my teeth, tears beginning to angrily roll down my cheeks.
My mother watched all this, unmoved. For the first time in my life I was disgusted with her.
"I am no witch. And I'm afraid that was his affliction."~
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The only reason I write the story without spaces between the paragraphs is not only because it is good grammer, but also because I like to write it as if it were in a book, as this is how it would appear lol
Also, thank you very much for your comments
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hm...very intriguing,...nice intake on the fantasy theme....good job...
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I still think the beginning is misplaced. It's as if you've put the reader at the starting line, but faced him in the wrong direction. The rest of it shines, despite a few grammatical errors. The story is best when it follows Erin. You just seem more comfortable, more authoritative.
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I have only started it this way, because I read a similar beginning in another very well written werewolf book that I was very impressed with, and it seemed the same way, but trust, me the whole thing will pan out.
And thank you for your continued helpful comments
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This was AWESOME! You have got to write more and tell me right away. Wow, simply Wow! Keep up the amazing work!!!!!!!
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No Victims!
It seems that the nurse was a close call, but not really a victim as such. It is a good story, but I would have liked to have seen some victims. If this man is really a werewolf, how is it that they can't tell? I thought that they changed at least once every full moon. I would put a blank line between paragraphs to make it easier to read.
Andy
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Well, this is only a first chapter so I don't see a need to go straight into killing someone. Also in the second chapter, It does explain why no-ones notices he is one.
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-Your story really moves. I found the pace following Erin pretty good.
-You show more discomfort with your lycanthropic introduction. No grit, pain, savagery or suspense...very pretty writing, but I wanted a stronger contrast. I also think "N. Yorkshire" is misplaced as a section. Erin is building him up beautifully. -
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I agree, I will be putting a bit more emotion into the part where he learns what he is. However, I like the way it goes into the 'N. Yorks' section, and it does become clear later why this bit was important.
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