A Brother's Love

Alone and wandering, a lone figure sweeps eerily across the darkened plains lit only by the moons pale touch. The shadows reach across the land in immortal agony, reaching for his soul...but none, not even the figure, can find it. It seams as though it has been left somewhere, broken and abandoned, devoid of feeling. It now lay in his former home, a frozen rock, that beats only because it is told to by the air he breathes. 1

The man has wandered many years, it is said. Not quite living anywhere. Not quite living at all. He is a walking corpse, the feeling he had long abandoned by mistrust and exile from his family and friends. He has no one and is no one. A loner. 2

He soon reaches the bottom of a path that spirals up a cliff some distance in the black sky. The peak is blanketed by fog, the way a dragon hovers over her hatch-lings, ever watchful of an invader. The robed one starts his climb, his head bowed as if in shame of taking the air that he doesn't deserve. Without stopping, or second thoughts of continuing, he reaches the top; a flat, clear area consisting of huge stone pillars set in perfect circle.3

The moon shines through the pillars,which cause streaks of dancing light to enter the unbroken, holy place.4

He walks to the middle of the circle, the wind gently caressing his face. He draws his hood, causing his eyes to disappear into complete blackness.5

The wind shifts, the black robes cling to the young mage's back . The man gathers the darkness around him, shivering slightly as the crisp air bites through his thick, protective robes.6

From one of the many pockets inside the robe, the man produces a dagger. The light catches the blade as he inspects it.7

He stares at the dagger a moment longer, then suddenly, a voice calls.8

"So, you are finally saying good bye, old friend? Truly, it wasn't that bad was it?"9

The voice was familiar, and Esmael knew... It was his brother, Jeric.10

"No, friend, not this time..." Jeric answered his thoughts. "I shall not stop you."11

Jeric emerged out of the shadows, his white robes contrasting the relentless darkness of Esmael's black. None would have figured these to be related, so opposite and contradicting.12

"What would you know, Jeric? The pain I have felt, the endless lament of home that I can never touch!"13

Esmael hissed, the dagger shaking in his hands, the light dancing almost mockingly over the blade.14

"I know not, brother...I came only but to guide you." Jeric replied.15

"Guide me to the light again, right?" Esmael shot back bitterly.16

"No, I am here to relieve you, to guide you through the abyss."17

"You would die if you fallowed me." Esmael stated "Fool!"18

"Yes, and that is what I am risking, to help you, Esmael." Jeric answered. He pulled a knife from seemingly nowhere, and pointed it at his chest.19

"Are you ready?" He asked.20

"You are mad!? Jeric, don't do this! This is my problem, not yours!" Esmael pleaded. He stood up from the table, the light catching his hood, making his face darker, if possible.21

As he was persuading Jeric to release the dagger, Jeric plunged it in. The blood covered his white robes instantly, sweeping across the fine fabric like a crimson plague. 22

Silence for a moment, then hysterical sobbing,heard by none,bubbled from the dark one's hood.23

He ran to the body of his brother, once white, now stained with the passion he had. The passion that killed him. The dark embraced the light, as he wept for his soul to return. It didn't. As much as Esmael tried, it didn't.24

"I wasn't going to, Jeric." Esmael whispered to the corpse of his brother.25

Esmael killed himself that night, next to his brother. Both out of love for each other.26

~~~27

Author notes

This is my first story...so be nice! I have a problem with grammar. If you find mistakes, let me know!

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Golden Guardian
    March 27, 2006
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    How have I never commented on this? It's really good!
    -E

    beginning: 4, ending: 5.

  • Jeric
    August 10, 2005
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    Heh, true true...thanx for the critique.

  • AtVaR
    August 6, 2005
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    Hmm... Like an ancient painting.. Its not the painting that counts, but why the painting is what it is.

    Yeah, sure, there were some grammatical errors, but who cares? You got the point across did you not? Seems to me that grammar isnt as important as what its used for.. (most of the time... ex. Politics!)

    Great write bud... hope to see more stories!!

  • Jeric
    August 23, 2004
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    Oh, and about the problems...thank you for pointing them out.
    I'll be sure to fix 'em!

  • Jeric
    August 23, 2004
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    Haha...yeah, tenses kill me. I hate grammar. The point of the story was to leave people filling in the blanks for themselves.


  • Juliet D
    August 23, 2004
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    This is an engrossing story - obviously with a lot of personal meaning to you. I'm not sure I grasp what's really going on between you and your brother, but this pretty powerfully shows that not all is well.

    contradiction in tenses here: "He stares at the dagger a moment longer, then suddenly, a voice called" --> keep either past or present tense.. can't have stares and called when the two are happening nearly at the same time. Actually, you've got a bit of a problem with tenses throughout the piece.. you should go through and fix that.

    I'm not usually to sit through a whole story on this site, so this is pretty good Maybe you could tell me a little more background info about it?

    ~Scarlet

1 - 6 of 6