2 / 5/ 041
The wind outside is howling, I sit alone, alone but not scared,2
I feel it pulsating up me like a drug, Alone I sit until it eventually takes over.3
Why doesn't it ever work out the way you want it too? For years I've wanted to be part of a family not such an outcast to society.4
To be accepted, treated equally. Respected.5
My heads so screwed up, I need help I admit that, I need anti-depressents and councilling to get myself straight.6
Its my so-called family made me this way anyway, The pain will never stop, the anger will never leave me, I'm mentally and emotionally scarred at the age of 16.7
I can no longer contain my temper or control it, THEY have made me this way to which i hate them for it.8
Its bliss hearing next door arguing, makes a change from me, I truly believe last night I had a break down. I feel different today, almost scared of myself, its stupid isn't it?9
I refuse to fall captive to my feelings as much as i'd like to, i'm alone as usual waiting for the dreaded 4 to arrive home for another mood to set me off, my brother i'm ok with its the rest, leaving me out and supress me with a fear or uncontrollable depression. I think dads scared now he knows i'm depressed and suicicdal - Good - does he know its his fault? 10
I don't blame my sisters there to young to understand and lynne, she ain't my mum so she hasn't a clue its partly her fault anyway.11
Its cold, i'm suprised i can feel the cold coz i'm numb inside, i can't care about anything anymore its odd i say that yeh I still love, I feel the cold. OH I DON'T KNOW, to talk crap or not to talk crap is that not the question?12
Theres a big grey cloud hanging over my head, ha good metaphor and i hope it rains down everyone deserves to feel how i feel!13
Im scared of my behaviour i've never felt this crap or useless.14
Why?15
I'm so jumpy and so not bothered16
Whats wrong with me? Some one tell me coz I want to know!17
My Diary extract 2/5/04 before I found out my best mate had died that day! 18
Author notes
This is my diary extract from May the second
This is a real extract real feelings.
This is the day my mate died, except I found out the day after, so this is how i felt for dayz after.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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This has a very angsty edge to it..wow it's a true story? Scary...a couple of spelling errors every now and then:
"Whats" should be "what's"
"coz" should be "because" (I did ask for no shorthand...)
"heads" should be "head's"
"i" should be "I"
"...don't blame my sisters there to young to understand... "
This line can be fixed up a bit, I would suggest changing it to: "...don't blame my sisters; they're too young to understand..."
Powerful emotions in this write; I think that was your strong point. I liked the imagery; it wasn't bad. You could work a little on your diction; the way you word things.
-morgana
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This is my extract I admit the comments on it were confusing, is it any clear now!
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So it your diary or your mate's dairy extract?
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