Hey, Lady.

Another Saturday, wasted at the mall.  Fighting crowds, looking for  a gift for someone else.  I wanted it to be special.   Just that perfect "something."  Her college graduation.  It needs to scream "this is just for you...for your accomplishment"...1

But, I am not in the mood.  The traffic was awful, this rude man cut me off..taking my parking space.  The one I had been patiently waiting on.  I had on my turn indicator...He KNEW I was waiting...but he pulled that little red convertible in there...right in front of me.  Some nerve, I thought as I resisted the urge to honk...and show him how well I could do universal sign language.2

Instead I parked at the end of another row....fuming the whole time I walked to the mall.  Then, past the ever present teens hanging out.  I swear if they make one crude remark...I'll teach them a bit of new language...some words they never heard before.  Sometimes it pays to have had a dad in prison.  But I enter the mall...and they never noticed me..3

I look for the crystal shop.  Knowing I will find what I want there.  Something elegant...but not too eleagant...and not too expensive.4

I get behind a couple out for a Sunday walk....(Don't they KNOW I am in a hurry?  That I have a deadline to meet...people waiting on me. )5

Being late to meet them...I will hear all about it.  I will listen politely to his remarks about women...and how they are never on time...(I will resist the urge to tell him that it is because while he is watching football on tv....I did the grocery shopping, cleaned house, then went to the mall.  and then I will say yes...I'll add your name to the gift tag....knowing all the while he will never pay his part...that he will conveniently forget time and again.)6

I am just about to find a place open up in this crowd where I can speed walk around the loving couple...and finally make some head way when I feel a tap on my shoulder....and hear a male voice say "Hey, Lady."  I just want to get away from here.   It is probably someone wanting directions...(find and read the danged directory...for Pete's sake...it's what I always do)...or worse ..someone wanting a donation...do you have any clue how close my money is?  What I am giving up just to buy a gift for someone else?).  I mean, I don't mind..but I have nothing extra to give.7

Ignoring doesn't work...again a tap on my shoulder...(Hey, Lady.)  I see the gap close up...I missed my opportunity to escape.  I swirl around...the last straw.  A man...so unkempt in appearance...holds my billfold out to me.  8

"You dropped this." he says softly.  "It fell out of your purse."...9

A long silence.  I just stand there dumbfounded and speechless for a bit too long.10

"I didn't open it." he says.  "Probably a good idea to keep your purse zipped.  Especially here.  There have been pick pockets lately"  11

I reach out silently.  Take it from him.  I resist the urge to look inside.  12

"Thank you"  I mutter.  13

"Look" he says..."feel free to check it.  I won't be offended."14

At that...I do.  I look inside.  Everything is there..money..credit cards.15

Library card..business cards.16

"Do you like Mexican food?"  I query and mentally scale down the graduation gift from crystal to paper.  a gift certificate, perhaps.  17

"I was just about to stop and eat.  I haven't eaten all day...and well, honestly I get crabby when I don't eat.  I could use some company...May I buy you lunch?"18

He smiles at that.  A nice smile, I think.  19

"Sure"  he says.  "But my treat...you look a bit harried."  he laughs...20

"And me...well.  I don't always look like this..I'm working"  He winks.21

"Undercover.  If I tell you anymore I will have to kill you..."22

Oh great..I think to myself...what have I gotten myself into..as we walk into the restaurant.  I make myself think of green mole sauce as I feel his hand at the small of my back.23