Another Day In Iraq

Missing image
"Praise be to Allah! May all bow before your glory!"1

Five times a day I face Mecca and pray to Allah, the one almighty God. I ask how may I rid my land of the infidels who corrupt our people and murder and enslave us. I also ask, knowing that the hearts of some of the infidels are good, why they have come to rule our land and take our oil. "Food for oil," they say. Are we no more than animals to be fed and slaughtered? "We bring you democracy and freedom." But all we have is war, pain, and suffering. More than 200,000 dead and 5,000,000 who fled their country out of fear and hardship. Curse these Americans!2

They try to take our weapons and their weapons are so much more superior to ours. We have only bombs and small arms. They had their ships, artillery, airplanes and rockets; yet we resist, persist, and prevail. Our numbers grow daily. "Allah be praised. Allah will provide."3

Peaceful elections! How can there be peaceful elections when there is such hate between our sects? Saddam had it all under control, now there is nothing but madness. It is not safe to walk the streets. Kidnapping and murder, this is what the country has come to all because of the American invaders.4

"I, Abdulla Akim, promise to fight to my last breath for my land. Praise be to Allah."5

The men study the Quran in the mosque daily. Our devotion to Allah is much greater than the devotion of those heathen foreigners. They claim Jesus as their god. Jesus is no god, merely a teacher and prophet, lesser by far than our Muhammad.6

I hate to see the sacrifice of so many of our young men and women in this effort to free our land from the occupation of these infidels. Foreigners have come and pollute our people with their customs, government and religions. We must drive them from our land. I have trained so many and have seen them sacrifice themselves in the name of Allah. Though their sacrifice is necessary, it troubles my heart to see so many die. I wish it were not so. We are soldiers of Allah.7

8


"Hi, Heard you're going home, James."9

"Yes, I catch a flight out tonight. This is the last shift of my tour."10

"Well I guess you made it. Congratulations! Say hello to everyone for me."11

"I will, Mike, and may God keep you safe."12

"Thanks James, I appreciate your prayers."13

I was finally going home. It had been a tough year and four months. I was afraid deep down that I wouldn't make it. So many were being killed, about 2% of those who were assigned tours here left in body bags and many more were wounded and maimed for life. I was one of the lucky ones. I was not as religious as I once was, but I did feel that God must be watching out for me.14

I had taken to studying the New Testament while I was in Baghdad, which had once been a beautiful city about the size of Los Angeles. I must have read through the New Testament twenty times. I had been Christian and I guess I still was, but was what we were doing in Iraq right? We were killing insurgents(those who resisted the change) and wasn't it to be expected that they would fight back? They were not evil people, they were just fighting change. Some were so young. The New Testament did not seem to support killing. Had I misunderstood the Christian teachings? "Love your enemies." There was not a lot of love here, mostly tension and fear. It was a deep-seated fear, a fear I became numb to.15

The first priority was confusing, protect the oil fields and refineries. Protecting people came after that. I could not understand that. "Food for oil." Was oil the primary reason of our presence?16

More people had died as a result of this war than had died under Saddam. It was tragic and I had deep doubts that it was right. It seemed the more we killed, the more insurgents there were. I was beginning to agree that we should never have invaded Iraq in the first place. Bush may have been wrong. He had even admitted that his information about the WMDs was wrong. Was that the real reason he ignored the United Nations and invaded Iraq? Perhaps it was in order to gain control of Middle Eastern oil production and a vendetta against Saddam. France, Russia, and China were forced out of the Iraqi oil market. China threatened to and nearly did go to war with the United States over it. Considering it now, it seemed a possibly foolish and wrong thing that Bush did.17

When I joined the service, I swore to uphold the Constitution even if it meant my life and Bush is the Commander in Chief of the Armed Services. Although I was now sorry I had voted for him, it was my duty to serve him. I had served him well and I had killed. Deep down I hated myself for being a part of it. The United Nations would have been a better solution. The UN would have discovered there were no weapons of mass destruction and it could have been resolved peacefully. Instead we started the cold war all over again.18

19


The car was rigged with enough explosive to blast away everything for a hundred feet. We usually used men, but it was getting harder and harder to get close to targets, so I had begun training women. It was not really a woman's job, but things were changing. Women were attending universities and becoming teachers, scientists, and doctors. It was such a waste.20

"You know your reward in paradise will be great," I told Israa.21

"Yes, Teacher."22

"You need not be frightened. It will be over in an instant and you will not feel a thing but the glory of entering paradise."23

"Thank you, Abdulla. I so much appreciate the honor of serving Allah that you have bestowed on me."24

"You will do well, my child. Now when they start to inspect the car, accelerate full throttle and drive toward the building. When you hit the building the car will explode." I had a radio remote control to set off the bomb if the car failed to explode on contact.25

"I've got it."26

"Be brave, my sister. Today you will have your reward."27

Israa was a soldier no different than any other soldier. She would do her duty even though it meant her life. I was quite proud of her.28

29


I was sitting at my post hoping that today I would not have to kill anybody. "James," I asked myself. "Why did you ever want to be a sniper?" Being a sniper is rather a cold calculating job. It is being an assassin of sorts. Usually you kill at such a distance that the victim doesn't even hear the shot that kills them. If I did my job well, the victim dies instantly. I was quite good at it, but sometimes at night when I was trying to sleep I would find myself crying. Such calm killing was becoming hard for me.30

At the checkpoint where people and cars were inspected for weapons and explosives were dogs that were trained to find explosives such as C-4 and dynamite. I had a clear shot at the checkpoint. So far it had been a good day and there had been no incidents. It was awful living in an atmosphere where you couldn't feel safe on the streets. Oddly, however, one grows accustomed to it. I was prepared to shoot at anyone who tried to get passed without authorization.31

32


I walked up to the barrier that the infidels had placed across the sidewalk and road. They checked me for weapons and then let me pass. Even though I was known to them, I was checked each time. I went to a building across the way from the building, which was targeted for today. I watched from the window. I saw Israa pull into the line of vehicles waiting to pass the gate. I took the remote from my pocket. I was prepared to trigger it at the slightest sign of trouble. I could not allow Israa to be captured and the mission to fail. I was certain she would be nervous, but I was also sure that she would not let Allah down.33

Minutes seemed like hours and I began to sweat as the car came nearer the barrier. Then it seemed as though the time had vanished and Israa was to be inspected next.34

35


I observed first that the dogs seemed to be taking notice of the car next in line at the checkpoint. I readied my weapon. I couldn't yet make out the driver in the second car because the first car was obstructing my view, but I was preparing for a clear shot.36

"James, I think we've got a live one," said Mike over the radio.37

"I'm ready," I replied.38

The car in front moved and the car behind it came up to the barrier and then started to rush through it. I fired.39

The driver slumped over and the car began to slow. Everybody was running for cover.40

Seconds later, it exploded in a huge ball of flame and smoke.41

42


"When I realized that the car was slowing down, I knew that Israa had been killed. I pressed the remote and the car exploded. It had not been as successful as I had hoped.43

44


There was little left of the car and the buildings nearest it were significantly damaged. Windows were blown out and there was scattered debris. Immediately people started helping the injured and more troops were sent to the post. I stayed at my spot on top of the building overlooking the scene. I was hoping that I would not have to kill anyone else. I knew it was necessary, but somehow it never seemed right. After thirty minutes Mike came back on the radio, "Secure."45

"How many casualties?" I asked.46

"About 20 injured and the bomber is dead, of course. Nothing really left. Jesus! It was a young girl. No older than eighteen is my guess."47

That really troubled me. I wondered how you defeat people with such dedication. I wondered if I could accept a suicide mission. By my oath, I was sworn to accept one if ordered. 2% of our forces had died. 1% of the Iraqi population had been killed by this war. 20% of the Iraqis had fled their country. I could have died, but instead I was one of the lucky ones. I was going home. I would be debriefed and told not to tell about most of my tour in Iraq. God, I didn't really want to.48

Author notes

I read the rules. Battle sequence.

I strongly recommend the Coast Guard for those who want to serve their country in military service. There is less chance of killing or being killed. It counts the same as any military service. You can sign up and go to college before or after your tour of duty.

Andy

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Comments

1 - 77 of 77

  • AntarticFox
    August 26

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    A brilliantly portraid insight into the hell that is the battle of the suicide bomber, where the person who is emotionally ready to die is the winner. Brilliant work here, and best of luck -A Fox


    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 27
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      Hi A. Fox!

      I'm glad that you like this story. I hope it fares well in your contest.

      I'm not really certain how the Islamic extremests feel, but I tried to make it seem believable.

      May you have many good entries.

      Andy


  • Cecilia Marlana
    August 6

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    This was excellent! Very very very good. I enjoyed this immensely. I do wonder though, is this fictional? If so, it is very believable.

    Great writing! Good luck in my contest! <3

    ^.^ Fallen-

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 6
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      Hi there!

      Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like this story.

      It's a fictional piece. The insurgent was based on my limited knowledge of the Islamic faith and it's very limited. The soldier was based partly on my own beliefs and typical Christian practice.

      I tried to represent a realistic view from both sides. I'm glad you felt I came close to achieving that.

      Andy

  • ZackTruel
    July 23

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    Well I dont agree with your point of view in this story at all, but that is not the point of the contest.

    The content was great and you did a good job portraying the thoughts and feelings of both sides in this story. Not as much action as I was looking for in a story for this contest, but great writing.

    Good luck in the contest.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 6
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      Hi Zack!

      I noticed I hadn't replied to this comment, so here goes: Although I was married to an Iranian, there are many Islamic sects in the Middle East and I can't say that I got to know my wife's version. The view from the insurgent is pretty much fictional. The view of the soldier is similar to that of some of our soldiers toward the end of Vietnam conflict.

      My goal was to try to create a feeling of objectivity.

      Whatever the case, we were the invading force in Iraq. We violated international law and the supposed provocations proved non-existant. In my view, Bush and his cronies wanted a scapegoat for 9/11 and control over Iraqi oil.

      This story is really not about that, so much as it's about two opponents and how they view their daily jobs.

      Thanks for hosting and thanks for the silver trophy.

      Andy


  • UhhLizzAhhBett
    July 9

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    I've read this before, but had no problem with reading it a second time 'cause it's so good. As Asfand said I really like how you included both sides. I really hate war, but I like reading stories like yours for some strange reason. Well, thanks much for entering and good luck.
    *Liz

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      July 9
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      Hi Liz!

      You probably read it before, but if you commented, it wasn't enough to earn stars. Thanks for commenting this time and for hosting, reading, and all the applause.

      Perhaps the reason you like my stories about war is because I'm against war? I think that problems between nations should be worked out diplimatically. It seems that in modern times we should have achieved modern tolerance and compassion. Anyway, I believe we should be adults and stop playing war.

      Andy


  • Asfand
    July 1

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    Excellent!

    Wonderfully executed. I love the atmosphere in this. You flitted between two POV's very effectively. I love the conflictual feelings of the soldier. I could really empathize with him. It was rather opinionated at some points, but overall a terrific piece! I love how you incorporated religion into this piece too. Great job!

    PS. It's nice to see how well you incorporated Muslim concepts into the story.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      July 1
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      Hi Asfand!

      I'm very pleased that you like this story. I tried to offer a view from both sides, but that's really hard to do. I believe American soldiers went because they were sent, most dedicated to the job, but a bit uncertain what their role should be.

      The other side of the issue I presented is based on my limited knowledge of the Muslim and insurgents beliefs. I Also understand there are many sides to the conflict.

      I seriously question the Bush administration's motives for invading Iraq. Personally, I think the action was illegal and that things could and should have been settled diplomatically.

      Andy


  • VioletConcept
    June 23

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    I liked how you wrote from both view, it made it a lot more interesting than it would of been had you not. A great read, with a nice ending. It's a pretty good way to end it.

    Goodluck in the contest!
    Vio

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      June 23
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      Hi Violet!

      It was an attempt to view it from both sides, but of course, it's really only my interpretation of those sides.

      I'm glad you like this story.

      Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. May you have many good entries and much fun.

      Andy


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    November 25, 2008

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    I do not support war of any kind, particularly the Iraq war. Humaninty angers me in many ways, it seems that war is inavitable.

    I rather liked this story, most poeple do not try and tell the story from the mind of the insergents/suicide bombers but only the soldiers. I was thinking that James was going to die the way you were flipping from one perspective to the next but apparently not, that's good.

    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck,
    Phoenix.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      November 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      I agree.

      I think that conflicts between countries should be solved diplomatically. However, I like to write about about murder.

      I tried to show POV's from both sides, not necessarily prevailing points of view. Many of the people are fighting for their country and their customs. I believe we should have never invaded.

      Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting.

      Andy


  • Cupcake14
    November 19, 2008

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    Wow. Of course this was Iraqi war, so quite predictable. But I could feel the anger and animosity on both sides. I meant something different by haunting wartime incident. Your character sounded like he had had a million haunting war time incidents. Still the way you narrated it was so simple, you could have just eliminated a few points. Like the tension. The bitterness was more in the characters and less in the story. I want you to do something that really makes me negative. But your rant was really good. Well, sort of rant.
    The Coast Guard note made me LOL.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      November 19, 2008
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      Hi Xm!

      Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I hope you like this story.

      The Coast Guard is the best branch of the military in my opinion.

      May you have many good entries and much fun.

      Andy


  • Shinami Tsuyoki
    August 25, 2008

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    This was stunning in the realistic viewpoints and details. I could practically see the characters as real people, and the thoughts and views sounded authentic, despite being fiction. The talk behind the frront of war really gives the reader a new perspective on the Iraq invasion and what the true purpose is. Amazing work!

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 25, 2008
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      Thank You

      Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.

      I'm very pleased that you like this story. I tried to make it seem authentic.

      May you have many good entries and much fun.

      Andy


  • intoothandclaw
    August 9, 2008

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    I have just one quibble, and it's fairly minor:

    "They claim Jesus as their god. Jesus is no god, merely a teacher and prophet, lesser by far than our Muhammad."

    This is inaccurate, AFAIK. I've never spoken to an Islamist extremist, but I have spoken to several Muslims, including fairly conservative Muslims (two sisters went to my film school in my year with me.) From what I understand, Jesus is actually seen as a rough equal of Muhammed, that both are prophets and teachers of Allah. I'm not sure even an Islamist extremist would denigrate Jesus as inferior, though he certainly would criticize the infidels' understanding of Jesus and his place in God's/Allah's plan.

    (Not being a monotheist myself, none of it really follows to me, but FWIW, that's what I understand from those who follow it.)

    Otherwise, this is very good work. I've seen several people try to tackle Iraq in fiction; you, WritersEffigy, and slashinguk are the only ones who've really succeeded, I think. Most people make it sound way too political, either to the left or the right. This really sounds like it could be transcribed rather than imagined. Good work.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 9, 2008
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      Thanks

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      I have talked with Muslims who have said that Jesus is a teacher and a prophet as is Muhammad, but they don't follow Jesus nor have any intention of following him. I think this suggests that they don't put Jesus on equal bearing with Muhammad.

      I was married to an Iranian, but oddly; we never discussed religion. I bought an English translation of the Quran with the intention of reading through it with her, but we never did it. I was Christian at the time.

      I am no longer Christian. I'm now more of a pantheist, atomist, and truist. I have my own faith and I seek no followers. I believe that everyone has a different experience with God or existence.

      Perhaps saying "lesser by far than Muhammad" is inaccurate, but lesser than Muhammad I feel is clearly true. Muhammad is not a God, but is a great prophet and teacher to them.

      I still haven't studied the Quran, and I guess I'm not likely to. I tried to get an Islamic teacher to guide me through it, but that didn't happen either.

      Oh well, the only way to really know would be to study it more. The main battle is oil for the US in the Middle East and I believe it is the same for the Arab leaders. Those who fight are sold a load of crap. The rich prosper through the blood and suffering of others.

      Andy


  • WritersEffigy gold member
    July 16, 2008
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    Read and judged, thanks for entering.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      July 16, 2008
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      Thanks

      Thanks for hosting and reading. I hope you like this story better, but it seems that you may not have liked it either. When I write about war, I don't glorify it. I find war as being one of the sadder aspects of humanity.

      I was very opposed to the invasion of Iraq. I don't like America in the role of the aggressor.

      Andy


  • Tiger-Lily gold member
    May 3, 2008

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    Beautifully written, and you've done your Islamic research well....Pity that some Muslims seem to have gotten the wrong idea about "devotion". Suicide is one of the worst sins you can commit.

    I fully agree with your take on this. This war is pointless. Where is it going to lead us? Why doesn't Bush just admit he's mistaken and get the hell out of there? He's already hurt enough, destroyed enough lives.

    I'm really glad about the way you presented this. The two perspectives do share some common interests - they just want it to end. And it's so true. My brother wrote a letter to an American base there for a school project, and they said that they're "getting sick of this " pointless fight.

    HT

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      May 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Bush's motivation was to get revenge on Saddam and gain control of the oil production of Iraq in the guise of fostering freedom and democracy. What he did was criminal, but he got away with it because he is the most powerful man in the world. Had the allies of the US not gone along with him, he couldn't have done it. So Bush and his cronies got their way. They are profiting while the majority are not.

      It will force change on Iraq at the unfortunate loss of many lives. Now that we are there, there is not a good way out.

      Andy


  • EphemeralStyle
    January 25, 2008

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    It feels like we're dangerously close to World War III, no matter how many people all over the world reject the idea. I don't know everything about politics, but I think Bush has been a bad President.

    You know a lot about this war, and it feels like I really am there when I read this. It's so horrible the way people take all this killing in stride, as if it's normal. Very persuasive and profound.

    Wowness O.o

    Eph

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      January 25, 2008
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      World War III?

      The war in Iraq is a proxy war. Diplomatically it is fought world wide. China, Russia, and France were very much opposed to the invasion of Iraq. China threatened to go to war. The main issue was oil production in Iraq. Russia and France were producing oil which China was purchasing. Free enterprise would have been to allow it to continue, but Bush and his cronies decided to take control of Iraqi and its oil production. Bush wants control of all the oil production in the Middle East and he is quite dangerous. Hopefully he will be out of office before he can do more damage.

      Anyway, this is a world war like the Korean and Vietnam wars. It is just that the fighting is mostly diplomatic.

      A lot of Iraqis have died.

      Andy

  • slashinguk
    November 30, 2007

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    Unusual, clinical but persuasive

    You've taken a very unusual combination of perspectives, and inter-spliced the voices throughout. I like the concept, but think the execution could have been handled better. Something as simple as a different font for the two speakers. Sometimes I missed the shift, in spite of the paragraph spacing (which could just as well indicate a third perspective).

    I found the characters somewhat clinical, but they were otherwise credible and persuasive. It played out like a docu-drama / after-action interview. I felt like I could envision the two speakers sat calmly in two separate interview studios relating the facts.

    It lacks some human depth to get the sympathy juices flowing. For instance, the dialogue following the explosion might become:

    "Casualties?" I heard my own voice cracking.

    "Perkins and Davies took some shrapnel, but they're walking still. I don't think anyone got killed, but I reckon twenty of us will be in the infirmary tonight."

    ---

    And a phrase like "That really troubled me" – can simply be substituted with an expletive. These guys are soldiers. If you're worried about your readership's sensibilities, a simple "Darn it!" would suffice.

    It's troubling subject matter and I commend your purpose in writing this.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      November 30, 2007
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      Thanks

      You suggestions are very good. You are a better writer than I am. I appreciate the hints. I may try to do a rewrite and apply them.

      I feel that the invasion of Iraq was wrong. I think also that we have created more terrorists than we have eliminated. If it weren't for fear, I am sure the Iraqis would throw us out of their country. It is a mess and it is likely to remain a mess for a time to come. Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding.

      Andy


  • Oblivion Kitty God silver member
    October 31, 2007

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    A very interesting look into the war. Though it's probably been done somewhere else, I haven't read a story liek this before. Goog job on it. The opposing religious views are quite opposite. And, in a way, they each give the other strength and power. If there was nothing to fight against, no religion would be strong because there'd be nothing to compare it to. Great job.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      October 31, 2007
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      Thanks

      Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I'm glad you felt I did well on the story. I hope you like it. I also hope that you have many good entries and much fun.

      Andy


  • Scaramouche.
    September 30, 2007

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    This is an amazing piece!i can totally relate since im amuslim(stop with the terrorist gags..please)
    But i cant totally feel for the characters!Very well writen!

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      September 30, 2007
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      Thanks My Lady

      I am really pleased that you enjoyed this piece. It was a challenge to write. Thanks for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.
      I hope you are enjoying Storywrite.

      Andy

  • obfuscate
    September 15, 2007

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    I think you have a good start, but it's a story on an inflammatory subject that doesn't spend much time analyzing itself. You say you tried to make the extremists human, but did you? All of them speak as if they came out of a bad action film; it is the broken-language, "Yes, my child," style of depicting terrorism that doesn't leave much to be inferred about their actual characters. What kind of life do they lead, besides their religion? What led them to this place in their lives? What do they wish to accomplish? Don't make them one-dimensional, with a single-minded hatred of Americans. It isn't realistic.

    I say this not to anger, but to edify. Terrorism has become a byword rather than a true action. I would like to see somebody write something that attributed something relevant and easily relatable to the terrorists.

    I think it has become far too easy for Americans to ascribe to Muslims a blind fury without rhyme or reason, when in fact we should ask ourselves why such actions are being taken. Talk frankly to someone of the Muslim faith. Research; straighten out old misconceptions. Extend the hand of understanding rather than damning the unknown.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      September 15, 2007
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      Thanks

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I gather that you didn't like this story. I appreciate that you stopped by and read it. I understand that they fight because we invaded. I think it is a tragic and unnecessary war.

      Andy


  • callthexylophone
    September 13, 2007

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    China threatened to and nearly did go to war with the United States over it. .... did it...? huh.
    Oh, and capitalize "Cold War." Great write!

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      September 14, 2007
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      Thanks

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you like the story.

      China was receiving their oil from Iraq. There was some sabre rattling. They were pretty hot about it. Their puppet, North Korea, did some missle testing and announced its nuclear capability. Fortunately, nothing came of it. I suppose that China is buying American controled oil, now.

      Andy


  • dippedquilpen
    September 12, 2007

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    I posted a reply to the previous comment. but I wasn't really able to comment on this story. It was very good and well-written.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      September 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank

      Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you like the story. Of course, it was not my intent to suggest that Islam is a bad religion or all Muslims are terrorists. The majority of the 400,000 Iraqis who have been killed are not terrorists or insurgents. It is mostly a tragedy. I felt that America was wrong to invade Iraq and possibly Afghanistan. It has become a big mess. A mess America made. I am a member of no religion, but my own. I do believe, however; in religious freedom.

      This was an idealized view of an insurgent leader and a disheartened American sniper. Strictly fiction to foster my beliefs which I believe have some truth.

      I appreciate you stopping by and reading this.

      Andy


  • I Dare to Dream
    September 11, 2007

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    This was good, but I don't think you understand much about Islam. You seem to have done your research well, but Islam doesn't believe in suicide, and is very much against it. Mostly, all these "Muslim" terrorists the idiot (You know who) is talking about are really Jews trying to slander our religion. The war in Iraq was a mistake from the very beginning, but he continues making up lies so he doesn't appear stupid.

    True, there are some Muslim extremists, but don't allow them to represent the whole religion, for the word "Islam" itself represents peace.

    I know this isn't really a comment, but I wanted to give you the REAL side of our story. Don't consider this as shoving religion down your throat.

    The story was good though.

    • dippedquilpen
      September 12, 2007
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      This was a great story first of all, but there's something I want to clear up. I don't mean to make this a religious battle, but Jews are not terrorists covering it up. And yes I agree about who you're talking about being an idiot...but please don't bash other people's religions. I happen to be Jewish and am constantly telling those around me (yes Christians too) that not all terrorists are Muslim and and not all Muslims are terrorists and to not fall for stereotypes.

      • I Dare to Dream
        September 13, 2007
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        Oh dear, I hope you didn't think I was bashing other's religions. I don't bash, I hate bashing, and I didn't mean for you to take it the wrong way. I am just repeating what I hear, though everyone knows that that guy is an idiot.

        Thanks, I appreciate you defending us, and I am terribly sorry if you thought I had any discrimination against other religions. I have respect for everyone depending on whether they're good people or not, not for what religion they belong to. Once again, I'm very sorry for offending you.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      September 11, 2007
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      Thanks

      Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. So you are saying that it is Jews, who are pretending to be terrorists, who are fighting us in Iraq? I don't know much about Islam. Thanks again for reading.

      Andy

      • intoothandclaw
        August 9, 2008
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        Frankly, speaking as a descendent of Jews, it's possible. There are fascists and assholes lurking in all religions and all bloodlines, and lots of manipulative fucks who think it's fun or valid to do that kind of crap.

        I think I speak for Jews, Muslims, Christians, atheists, agnostics, and non-categorized spiritualists like myself when I say that fascists and liars, regardless of what they call themselves, suck, and are not good representatives of whatever creed they wrap themselves in.


  • Nesa Lyrel
    September 7, 2007

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    This wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it was a good story nonetheless.

    It bothered me a little bit, because I don't think that my point of view is the same as yours, but I suppose that's the joy of reading...right?

    My only suggestion for this story is to use some sort of a line between points of view, whtether it's a line of asterisks or dashes or something, just to make things a bit clearer at the beginning. As you get into the action of the story, we can see those disappear, but the points of view could be clearer.

    The use of the names also sounded a little forced in your dialogue. You need to make the names clear, but they don't all have to come at once.

    Nice story though...and interesting take on Iraq. Good luck in the contest!

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      September 7, 2007
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      Thanks

      Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it.

      I was very opposed to the invasion of Iraq. Now that we are there it is one big awful mess. Fixing the mess will not be easy and I feel many have and will die unnecessarily. The deaths could have been avoided had we not invaded. Bush played America to gain power, wealth, and vengence. Now there seem to be no good solutions to the problem.

      Andy


  • Barbara Moderators member
    September 7, 2007
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    The story seems to be pasted in here twice...


  • Hell Boy
    August 30, 2007

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    My view of the war is we needed to invade Afganistan definately after 9/11. I dont know about Iraq,but Iran is the one with all the damn weapons! They are feeding the flame by selling weapons and explosives to insurgents. I agree that Saddam was a horrible person,but in my opinion we should have just assassinated him. I am planning to join the USMC after I graduate Senior year of high school,it is my country and I am going to support it. I dont think it helps either to have a bunch of bleeding heart liberals sticking there nose in everything and talking about things they dont know anything about. Saying that US soliders torture Iraqi women and children is a ton of bull shit. Yes there are a few bad men in the military but there are bad men all over the world...

    Anyways good story,it sounded realistic.

    God Bless
    ~Tony~

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 30, 2007
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      Thanks Tony

      Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I really appreciate it. The last branch of military I'd choose is the Marines, but if you have your heart set on it, so be it. I do however recommend that you try to go for officer's training and college first. You'll get so much more respect as an officer, not to mention better pay and housing.

      As to US soldiers abusing people, there is bound to be some abuse and some killing of innocents. It's a war, but American soldiers have a higher standard than most other soldiers.

      As to Iran having weapons, certainly; but we have far greater weapons than they have. Why should it be that America is the only country allowed WMDs or the right to sell arms? We sold weapons to Iraq and Iran in the past. We are arming the Iraqi Army now. Naturally Iran should be nervous about that. I'm afraid that what we have done, may have unfortunately made things worse.

      Andy

  • Jinxgirl
    August 18, 2007

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    This is wonderfully written. You show many aspects of all points of view of the war in Iraq- a very unusual technique. I can't say that I have ever read anything like this up until now. I would be interested in reading more if you ever chose to expand upon this. Thank you for telling me abotu this.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 18, 2007
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      Thanks Jinxgirl

      Thanks for reading, commenting and applauding this story. I really appreciate you for reading it. I will probably write another story on Iraq, but I don't plan to expand on this story.

      Andy


  • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
    August 18, 2007

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    Terrific, well-written story with timely content.

    How I'm back. I learned India is very different from say China--grin.

    Thank you for not killing off either youth.

    can ( their) there be peaceful elections when there is such hate between our sects?

    Saddam had it all under control, now there is nothing but madness. It is not safe to walk the streets. Kidnapping and murder, this is what the country has come to all because of the American invaders.) Amazing isn’t it how different situations have such different views by those involved.

    I had taken to studying the New Testament while I was in Baghdad (comma) which had once been a beautiful city about the size of Los Angeles.

    There was not a lot of love here, mostly tension and fear. It was a (deep seated) deep-seated fear, a fear I became numb to.

    Shouldn't food and medication be free? Query? Why would an American think this? Medicine rates among the top profitable industries in the country.

    When I joined the service, I swore to (uphoad) uphold the Constitution even if it meant my

    The United Nations would have (been) had a better solution. Ouery? Here you need to tell the reader what that was?

    (It was not really a woman's job, but things were changing. Women were attending universities and becoming teachers, scientists, and doctors. It was such a waste.) that bought you a grin—he sounded like my papa maybe 30 years ago.

    (If I did my job well, the victim dies instantaneously.) would die or dies instantly.

    explosives were dogs( needs a comma or switch which to that) which were trained to find explosives such as C-4 and dynamite.

    I went to a building across the way from the building (comma) which was targeted for today.

    Minutes seemed like hours and I began to sweat as the car came nearer the barrier. Then it seemed as though the time had vanished and Israa was to be inspected next. Great job, you had me hold my breath twice. First here and then I forgot to breathe when James told us, I noticed first that the dogs seemed to be taking notice of the car next in line at the checkpoint. I readied my weapon.

    (The) There was little left of the car and the buildings nearest it were significantly damaged.

    You did a terrific job of showing the similarity between these two young men. Right or wrong, each continues to shoulder the responsibilities of what they believe are their jobs. They are not so dense that they can’t question in their minds what they do, but they do it.

    Geri


    beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 18, 2007
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      Thanks Geri

      Thanks for reading, commenting, proofing and all the applause. I really appreciate you. I made the corrections you suggested. Thanks for taking the time to point them out. I'm glad that you like this story.

      Andy


  • EtherealButterfly
    August 18, 2007

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    another fantastic piece of writing!!! you never disappoint. i would say more...but it's about 3:05 in the morning...i'm totally tired...but i'm glad this was the last thing i read 2day!!!! good job!

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 18, 2007
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      Thanks

      Thanks for reading, commenting and all the applause. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you took the time to read it.

      Andy


  • Prodigious.Mirth
    August 17, 2007
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    im not relli into war...but this was a fantasico peice cheers mate

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 18, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading, commenting and all the applause. I really appreciate it. I'm glad you like this story, although it is not really a genre you usually read.

      Andy


  • IvoryRose
    August 17, 2007

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    Interesting premise with a very powerful message. I feel the need to point out the fact that Jesus and Muhammad were both simply prophets. Muhammad was just the last. Neither is seen as better. Allah is the one and only God and Muhammad is his prophet. In fact that's part of the prayer that is spoken 5 times a day.

    This war was not like the cold war. The cold war was a silent race for arms and technology between two super powers. The Soviet Union and the United States were well matched and never attacked each other openly. This was is quite different.

    Overall a good piece. I like how both men that are speaking are outside of the actual fighting but still very much involved. I enjoyed the story and it does make people think.

    Please look over it though and double check for typos and misspellings. Thanks for sharing and keep penning.

    Kat

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 18, 2007
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      Thanks Kat

      Thanks for reading, commenting and applauding. I really appreciate it. To Muslims, Muhammad is much more important than Jesus and to Christians Jesus is the Son of God and God in the flesh. Now I would agree that they are both prophets and teachers. As to the Cold War, both China and Russia oppose our occupation of Iraq and China threatened to fight over it. It seems rather like the cold war may be starting up again.

      Andy


  • ArdLiath
    August 17, 2007

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    You've put a lot of effort into a difficult subject you feel very strongly about.

    The two perspectives were a very good touch allowing us to see your interpretations of the conflict.

    Political opinions aside this was very well written for such a difficult topic.

    Liath

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 17, 2007
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      Thanks Liath

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I greatly appreciate it. This is very politically biased. As Gary Alexander points out, some terrorists are insane with hatred. I made the insurgents human because most of them are, they are just people being misled. Just as our government, the administration, has misled us. The little guys, the expendable ones, pay the price for the desires of their leaders. I feel the invasion by us was wrong in the first place, it should have been left to the United Nations and we should have supported that body. Since we invaded we have created a huge mess which daily gets worse. We have created more terrorists than we have eliminated. If we pull out, there will likely be bloody civil war. If we stay, it only prolongs it.

      I see no easy solutions. We could give it over to the United Nations, but we won't.

      Andy


  • Gary Alexander silver member
    August 17, 2007

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    Yes...The Coast Guard! (for now...)

    This is a very dangerous kind of piece to write...for, while disguised as "creative" writing, it is replete with editorializing. For example, you sneak in a parenthetical definition of "insurgents" as "those who resist change." There are others in the hornet's nest of IRAQ who also might fall under the banner of "insurgents." And it is somewhat general, if not simplistic, to merely label them as "those who resist change." There are "insurgents" who are not confined to IRAQI patriots...but ALQUEDA, TALIBAN, SYRIANS, SAUDIS, WAHABIS, IRANIANS, and EGYPTIANS...a constand flow if them...like ants to sugar...wasps to a disturbed nest! Meanwhile, I do not wish to get into a political squabble and shall confine this to the writing.
    As I read on (disturbed) I notice you even use the editorial word "dedicated" in describing this troubled group of sick people. Let me shed some light here: These "dedicated" people are suffering from a mental disorder. I don't favor killing either...as your characters seem to profess. But Abdullah presses on nonetheless...sending his "sister" out before him...or worse, in his stead! The piece, I find, as a former U.S. Marine, doesn't ring true. Neither do I buy it from Abdullah's POV. The explosive bearing fanatics of Islamic terror are lunatics. They are zealots and are not in any way open to reasonable thinking or logic. I simply don't buy your characters in this...story? It all seems, Andy, to stem from the pen of the author...who has a most defined agenda and political point of view himself.
    It seeps...pours through.
    The only thing I tend to agree with, if one must dispense advice to our young men and women, is your author's note. Semper Peratus!

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 17, 2007
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      Thanks Gary

      I agree that there are extremests whose goal would be to take over the world if they could on all sides, ours included. We, however, are trying to do it. Their fight is mostly a fight among themselves that we have put ourselves in the middle of. Fine, we wanted control of Middle Eastern oil, Saddam's head, and revenge for 9/11. Our efforts are creating more terrorists than we are eliminating. You are right, Iraq is full of honey and the ants are swarming, us included. It is getting worse. What's your solution? Pull out and allow them to settle it in a bloody civil war or prolong it by staying there. We can't win.

      Andy


  • Anaya Roma
    August 17, 2007

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    Hello Andy: Very well done, presenting each party's viewpoint. I am in agreement with your position on this war and on all wars. You'd think that after all these years we would have learned that war is no solution to anything. It just creates more problems. I wrote a story called A Time For Us (it's posted here). What moved me to write that story was the stoning of Du'a Kahlil Aswad, who was of the Yezidi faith, for falling in love with a Sunni Muslim man. Maybe you'd like to read it. In the sci-fi spirit of alternate histories, I wanted to give her life a different course.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 17, 2007
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      Thanks

      I'm very pleased that you like this. I tried to show both sides of the issue while also showing mine. It is a difficult thing to do. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Andy

  • Asfand
    August 17, 2007
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    The war has no end, none at all. if there will be one, it'll be utter annihilation. There is nothing, and I mean nothing more inhuman then killing your own race. Nothing. We are all humans.

    Look at what they're doing to Afghanistan. Look at what''s happening all around us. Loved this, gripping and informative. An alternative view.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 17, 2007
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      Thanks Asfand

      Very glad that you like this. It will probably not end until we pull out and then it will be bloody and take a while to settle. If we stay, that only prolongs it. I am not aware of what's going on in Afghanistan beyond military occupation by the US and its allies. Is there something specific?

      Andy


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    August 17, 2007

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    Andy,

    You did a great job. I think you were true to their side and ours. I don't even try to pretend about what they think about.

    I was so caught up in the story that I didn't find anything that could use polishing up.

    Great job and thanks for pointing this out to me.
    Brooke

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks alot Brooke

      You probably would have read this anyway, but I was anxious to get some feedback. I felt good about this one and it is after a few days of writer's block.

      The saddest part is that we agree that we have the same God, we just look at God differently. I am speaking here in general, Islam and Christianity, neither of which am I.

      I like your author's image. It's cute.

      Andy


  • Rosemary silver member
    August 17, 2007

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    Gripping story

    I liked the way you showed the two points of view. It does seem like a hopeless war with no one winning in the end. The story had a good emotional tone.

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 17, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it. Since you seem to read me alot, I think we should be friends.

      There will be no victory in Iraq in the near future. We will probably have to withdraw before it will settle down.

      Andy


  • Mel-the-Believer
    August 17, 2007

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    Hmm, this was really good. I will admit that I'm a supporter, but I'm glad I didn't blow this off. It made me think. I'm really glad I read this. Nicely done. Keep up the writing. God Bless!

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 17, 2007
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      Thanks Mel

      Thanks for reading, commenting and all the applause. I greatly appreciate it. My attitude toward the War in Iraq is influenced greatly by my time in the service during the Vietnam war. I went into the Coast Guard in order to avoid being drafted. Getting drafted was a good way of getting killed. It was illegal not to sign up for the draft. It was also illegal to leave the country to avoid it. I chose the Coast Guard because it was dedicated to saving lives and protecting the coast, not proxy fighting with Russia and China in Vietnam. Anyway, I made a very good decision and had a great time in the Guard.

      Nixon was forced to pull us out of Vietnam and the fighting ended. The war in Iraq is another proxy fight with China, Russia, North Korea, and Arab Insurgents. It will not end until we pull out. We cannot likely win it. Bush has started the cold war up again. Russia flew a bomber over an American base recently. It is mostly a diplomatic war, but the little guys in Iraq on all sides are dying for it. The real battle is over oil, and the price we are willing to pay for it or the lengths we will go to steal it. Most people have no idea what is really going on. Bush and Blair usurped the authority of the United Nations and violated international law by invading Iraq. Bushes claims were proven to be unfounded. The deaths rest on his and Blairs shoulders as the two promenent leaders involved. In the guise of national security, it will never all come out in the open.

      Andy


  • LostShadow silver member
    August 17, 2007

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    Wow very different to what I noramlly read but i'm glad I took the time to read it.

    The lenght and descriptions were wonderful. You must write really fast. well done.

    Keep up the great work

    Emma

    • Andy Stephenson gold member
      August 17, 2007
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      Thanks Emma

      When I have an idea that I like I usually write pretty quickly. In fact, I find it hard to stop. This was one of those. I think you got to it before I added the author's comments, but you're not American, so I guess it doesn't matter. Thanks very much for reading, commenting and all the applause. I greatly appreciate it.

      Andy

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