…She’s watching do you feel her eyes penetrating deep,1
Into your mind she fumbles slowly into your soul she’ll seep.2
Do you feel her as she steals the sanity you hold near?3
Her friend, her confidant, her hidden talent, fear…4
When Sharon returned back to her desk she decided she would ring Gary to make sure Jamie was fine. She picked up the receiver and dialled the number; the phone rang 3 times before the answering machine picked up. “Hi, we can’t make it to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number we’ll get back to you.” The recorded message played. 5
Sharon hated her voice on those things so she made Gary put the message on there, he sounded so sexy as she listened to it. “Hi honey, it’s me, just checking to see how your day is. I’ll see you tonight when I get home. Love you. Bye!” Sharon put the phone down.6
She looked at the mound of paper work on her desk in front of her as she quietly muttered. “Christ I knew I shouldn’t have gone to lunch with all this work, I’ll be here all day.” Then she heard a voice, “You shouldn’t take the lords name in vain you know, he’ll strike you down.” A males voice said. As Sharon looked up she saw a tall scrawny man standing in front of her, “Hi Dave, how are you?” She asked.7
“Just dandy thanks.” He said with a smile. Dave was her boss; he was a sweet man, brown hair never out of place, and soft sultry brown eyes. He was a good boss even if he was just out of school, but a fair man and he always treat his staff right. 8
“Are you all right Sharon?”9
“Yeah, I’m fine, just think I’m heading in for something.”10
“Why not take off early today and get some rest?”11
“I wish I could, but have all this work to do before I go home.”12
“Look, don’t you worry about that okay? I’ll get it sorted for you, and if you still feel out of sorts tomorrow, give me a ring and let me know okay?”13
“You sure you don’t mind Dave? I mean I probably could do with going but feel as if I’d be letting you down.”14
“Nonsense woman, now get your coat and off with you okay?”15
“If you’re sure.” Sharon smiled at Dave.16
“Yep, I’m positive, now away with you.” He held Sharon’s coat out to her.17
Sharon grabbed her purse and took her coat and said her goodbyes.18
“Hope you feel better soon.” She heard a few of her colleagues saying as she headed towards the door. She couldn’t get out of there fast enough to go see Gary and Jamie. As she approached her car she reached into her purse for the keys. She noticed that woman’s business card as she pulled them out. She stopped dead in her tracks, “Why does that name sound so familiar, never heard it before, but it seems as if I know it from somewhere.” She thought to herself.19
Sharon got into the car and headed out of the parking lot, it was a hot summers day and the sun was blazing high. Days like this usually warmed Sharon, but all she felt was a chill in her bones, it seemed as if nothing would warm her today. Traffic was moving so slowly today, kids cruising in their parent’s cars. “Why is it as soon as there is sun the roads become more busier?” she thought.20
After 20 minutes on the road she finally got home, she locked up the car and headed straight to her apartment. 21
“Please be home, please be home.” She whispered under her breath. She never wanted to wait for the elevator, so she took the stairs. She ran up them as fast as she could, just as she was reaching the last of them she looked up and saw a woman off this morning and her heart sank…22
Author notes
Yeah, not as good as the other bits, but go with it..could get interesting. 
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I'm going with it. The dialog was good in this section because it didn't seem false or pat. The office scene is very realistic. The opening bold face section is excellent... creepy and foreboding. A new character, Dave, adds needed dimension.
language: 4, plot: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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i dont understand ur words!!!!lol airm thanx mommy for collectin this whole serries of lil story things am goin for a glass of sasperellie now
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what a great boss lol
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excellent
Still holding your own with the best of them. I have read a good many published works that were not even close to this. I think I must be running out of points, so if I stop giving them its not because you don't deserve them. Dave is a bad guy right? -
Funny you should come and read this piece, cos I was planning on doing another installment today
Thanks Gill...
Watch them thar spooks don't getcha muhahahaha -
This is too scary for someone still in the twilight zone.. roflmao.. just finished night shifts..
had 4 hours sleep.. and still not awake yet.. DAMN FINE PIECE OF WRITING NAT.. 
Well penned girl..
~GILL~xx -
Your use of dialogue is very good... moves the story forward... Oh BTW, I liked Suzi from the chapters earlier... she seems like the kind of friend everybody needs... I wish she knew about Sharon's curse though...
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oh i just can't leave off reading this......
it just has me totally hooked...
ann -
In the second to the last paragraph this sentence would sound better if you removed the word 'more' “Why is it as soon as there is sun the roads become more busier?”
Other than that this is wonderful I off to read 8 as well.
Red -
this series is so gripping and suspenseful that I have to make sure I read the next installment before anything else LOL.. you've got me hooked..off to read part 8)
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Wow, Nat I loooooooooooooove these I can't wait for part 8
Karen
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Oooo creepy lady is back...oh jeez
I really loved how you began this part Nat it was really haunting and set the tone
OK ready for part umm 8 yes thats it...can't believe you held my attention this long...that means its good
~~Dawn
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sounds like you are unabel to concentrate until you get home to wrap up....
building the excitement
and you have us gripping our seats to know more!
tamara -
KEEP IT!
It has a menacing effect Nat. Things are hotting up and we know Jamies and Gary are not at home - get back to that keyboard - now!
~Von~ -
what does the beginging sound like? Should I leave it or keep it?
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