Unattainable

I first saw her in the romance section, knelt down to scan the titles on the bottom shelf, her back to me as I rounded the corner. A sky-blue tunic, belted at the waist, draping a lithe figure, and smooth auburn hair flowing past her shoulders – all I could see, but enough to make me duck back into the sci-fi aisle behind her, fearful of being caught staring. I hadn’t even seen her face, but I could picture it; not precisely, but with a vague impression of beauty that made me eager to see more, even as I feared the reality could not match up with my hazy imaginings.

I wandered through the surrounding aisles, hidden behind stacks of books, in a pattern which I hoped would be seen as random, even as I hoped my path would bring me into hers. As I walked, I told myself the absurdity of my behavior. What was the use of trying to get a better look? Even if we ran directly into each other, I knew I would not say anything beyond a quick apology, murmured with averted eyes to avoid the intimacy of contact. She read romance novels. What could I possibly say to a person with such lamentable tastes in literature? Given the opportunity, I would just stare and stammer, unsure of how to start, how to seem any more than just one creepy guy in a bookstore. The rows of books blended into streams of color, unnoticed by my gaze as I strolled by, purposefully casual.

I turned another corner, my path having brought me to the opposite end of the aisle in which I had first seen her, and there she was. Walking towards me, her face in three-quarters profile. I captured her face in my mind. Fair skin with just the hint of freckles, winsome features, and a slight curl to the lips that suggested a smile that could melt any man. She was more, not less, than my imagination had conceived, a near-perfect vision of Celtic beauty. Much more than a man like me could handle, or deserve. Instinctively, I walked on by, hiding my regard, continuing on the circuit I had been following before I caught a glimpse of her. To see more, to experience her, I would have to linger for no other reason than to drink her in from a few steps away, and I would not allow myself to take that final step.

But I could not get away. Everywhere I walked, there was the possibility of seeing her again, the chance of running into her, standing side by side looking at the new hardcovers, or touching hands as we both grabbed for the same magazine. Every time I picked up a book to flip through its pages, I judged it on what she might think if she passed by. Would she smile in approval, or sniff in disdain, or recoil in disgust? My mind constructed scenarios, all the different ways I would love to meet a girl in a bookstore. A “meet cute”, just like in cheesy Hollywood romantic comedies. I would be flipping through a book by Neil Gaiman or Nick Hornby, and she would happen by, and ask me what I thought of it. Maybe she would be a fellow fan, and we could share our respective favorite works, or maybe she would be curious about him, and I could display my encyclopedic knowledge as I gave my recommendations. Or we would both be sitting at the store café, tables adjacent, and her favorite song would come over the speakers, and she would lean over and tell me how great this obscure but talented artist was, a spontaneous expression of enthusiasm that would lead to involved discussion on music and life. The presence of these possibilities haunted every corner I turned, every book I picked up, investing every little action with a pregnant thrill, a significance far beyond the mundane motions of browsing in a bookstore. I was no longer here for myself, but for her.

But I never saw her again. I circled the building twice, every new aisle stirring my heart into motion as it came into view, only to instill a pang of disappointment when she failed to be an inhabitant. My actions felt hollow now. Who knows how long ago she had left? How long had I been chasing after a shadow? How long had I been playing the fool? I found that I didn’t care. Would I have preferred to have never seen her at all?

As I walked out the door, I wondered if infatuation was all that separate from obsession after all.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Asonine
    May 27, 2008
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    Thanks for entering my contest, story was amazing, though I must say... I sorta liked that they didn't get together.

    Freedom


  • J.P.Troy silver member
    February 3, 2008
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    Thanks for entering our contest. Good luck.

    J.P. Troy
    (Writing Review)


  • IntrepidFantasy Greeters member
    January 27, 2008

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    I loved the emotions in this and it's so true to! That feeling of just seeing someone and being instantly drawn to them. Yet before you get a chance to introduce yourself there gone. I think almost everyone can relate to that one! Great idea for a story!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • E A Smith
    January 4, 2008
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    A couple of definitions

    A "meet cute" is that moment in a romantic comedy where the couple meets for the first time in an incredibly improbable and "cute" way.

    A "pregnant thrill" is a feeling of excitement and anticipation, of infinite possibility.


  • yumesandman
    January 4, 2008

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    I loved this. It was just so damn cute!

    I think one of the strongest things you've got going here is the connection the reader has with the narrator. Everyone has had a moment like this, whether they're a girl or boy, dorky or chic- it's a universal human experience, which is a great thing to play off of while writing. And on top of that the reader feels for the narrator; we wanted the pretty redhead to be waiting for him in another aisle, or at the registers, whether we ourselves liked redheads or not (although, honestly, who doesn't like a redhead?).

    There were a few things that confused me, and they could have just been terms I wasn't familar with. The first was "meet cute" when describing the Hollywood moment, and "pregnant thrill" isn't something I've ever heard before. But like I said, those could just be me.

    What can I say? I liked this!


  • StoneColdAssassin
    October 21, 2007
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    Very thought provoking! I think in life everyone will meet at least one person...the "perfect" person. Who will set their heart on fire yet be all too "unattainable." Good luck!


  • Lady-Jane
    October 18, 2007

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    This was fantastic! I think everyone has those moments when they just really want to talk to someone and get to know them but just dont get the chance. There were a few grammatical errors, but it didn't distract from the reading at all. Great work and good luck!


  • callthexylophone
    September 3, 2007

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    NOoooooooo! He never saw her again!?!? *sooooob* but I liked him. And she was such a dream.
    Maaaaaaaan. However, I give you big points for being realistic. I know what it's like to see somebody and then become instantly infatuated only to never know who they are.
    Very, very good write.

  • Mr Martini
    September 3, 2007
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    Nice writing. But that last sentence was ambiguous; unclear. You seem to be touching the fine line between infatuation and obsession but you sort of miss the mark.


  • Greeneyes15
    August 23, 2007

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    interesting, i like this story a lot. Your writting is so good and i love the way you describe things. very good. i did feel like there was something missing tho. There wasn't that thing that made me totally and completly fall into the story. but i did enjoy reading this a great deal. thank you so much for entering the contest and good luck! keep up the grett writing!

    peace&love
    greeneyes


  • NotTheDroids
    August 23, 2007

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    So true

    I remember being in my twenties and having just such an encounter with a beautiful woman, and being caught like a rabbit in the headlights when she turned and looked at me; at least, I thinkshe was actually looking at me!
    Thanks for bringing back such a lovely memory. Beautifully written, holds the attention of the reader from start to finish.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • beezy92
    August 22, 2007

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    hehe

    good job, i like it! very clever. it was interesting and unique but it didn't really have a spark to it. like something to just ignite and pull me in. but still, it was really good. good job and good lck in the contest (=


  • quirkykitty
    August 22, 2007

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    Wonderfully woven together-- I enjoyed reading this story! A very real circumstance, no question
    I think you drew it out rather nicely... I might have been dissappointed if they ended up meeting.
    Unless, of course, he's pulling out of his parking space and dings her car as she's leaving from another shop next door


  • GuitarShank Moderators member
    August 21, 2007

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    Ah, the memories

    Very nice, I was drawn in deeply, just hoping that the narrator might meet this girl. I even feel I can relate to this guy, similar things have happened to me, though they matter no more because I have a girlfriend now. But every now and then I still find myself pulling forward at red lights just to get a better look at the cute blond in the car next to me.

    Uh-oh, my irrelevance alarm just went off.

    Anyways, this was a great read. And now, because of it, I may look into more of your writings.


  • Rosemary silver member
    August 20, 2007

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    Good story

    I wished your story ended with a chance meeting, but that would be to perfect. Your story ended like it would in real life. Maybe you could continue this story line and have them meet. The story is a good start for a romance novel.


  • Frozen Angel
    August 17, 2007
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    I love the description and the emotion in it. You did a wonderful job!

    Keep on writing!

    *Frozen Angel*


  • EmeraldDreams
    August 14, 2007

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    This was such a wonderful tale. Your flow is absolutely flawless. Im speechless. You have such a great tone and voice to your writing, it was a joy to read. I love your use of vocabulary and description, you bring the narrative to life in vivid colours and perfectly painted images. You certainly have a talent.

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