My first time

Dear Sarah,1

I wanted to write a letter to you, as they say words go down in history. Words are preserved after your death, after memories fade. If something happened and you lost your memory I'd want you to remember this amazing night, so I wrote it down to last for eternity.2

You were so in love weren't you? You'd vowed never to give away that most precious gift until you found somebody you trully loved, you trully felt comfortable with and that you'd trust with your life. In your eyes it was the biggest part of yourself you could give to somebody. Which is why you still had it to give until you were 21. 21. You'd been laughed at in the past, classed as a 'prude' but still you stayed determined. I admire you for that.3

He was the man you never should have got with. The circumstances in which you met, and the age gap between you were two pointers of this. The fact he still lived with his ex girlfriend was another bright neon light telling you it wasnt a good idea. Yet you gave up everything to be with him, your independance, your job, everything you could give. And it was a wise choice!4

You warned him when you first got together, you told him "I'm a virgin and i plan to stay that way until I'm deeply in love." you expected him to leave you then. But no, he stayed by your side, accepting and never pressuring you. You expected it to be at least 6 months into the relationship, never realised how fast things would move. 5

Yet two months later, lying on mattresses on the floor in that dusty dirty flat your cat prowling about your legs you knew this was right, you knew that the time had come. You knew this was the man you wanted to give it to.6

Despite the dull surroundings, that night was beautiful wasn't it? A light was lit in your heart. The gentleness with which he eased himself into you, the kindness with which he talked to you, the love which he eminated from every single pore. Yes, you were reminded you'd been right to wait. No night could ever be as perfect as this. The concern on his face when it hurt, the tears of pure love in his eyes when it was done.7

The amazing feeling of oneness, of wholeness, of pure and utter love that you felt. Could you ever feel so good again? 8

Lying in his arms afterwards, talking about life, about love, about what had just happened. Feeling 100% comfortable with him, feeling a part of him, knowing you would love him forever. All your problems disappeared that night, and you were given a pure gift, a night of happiness.9

Now, you still love him, he still loves you, the relationship has matured, has grown. But you still feel so complete when you make love. You still feel totally happy. Yes, you'll never have the excitement of that first time, but perhaps you get more than that now? 10

With love from Sarah11

XXX12