The truth is that I knew in the beginning that I would never be caught. I decided before I began that I would only indulge myself for a short period of time. I watched the sleazy, young women, selling themselves for a few coins, spreading disease and filth in body, spirit, and mind, and I knew that I had to act. That I, Edwin Edinborough, had to rid the city of as much of the pestilence as I could. To my surprise and dismay, I found that I actually enjoyed the slaughtering of these horrid whores.
These putrid prostitutes would roam the streets of Whitechapel in search of any man with their price so that they might corrupt him with their sinful, soulless bodies. I knew that I could not destroy them all, but I hoped to put fear in their hearts and drive them from the streets of London.
God gave me the strength, the skill, and the opportunities to eliminate a good number of these harlets. They were easy to find, or should I say that they found me. They offered themselves quite freely as a sacrifice to me and to God for the evil they had done.
I was called Jack the Ripper in the local rags, which recorded my deeds for posterity, and because of my influence there were others who chose to rid the city of this scum. I killed only five. Others who were attacked, maimed, or killed were at the hands of others though guided by God. I was pleased to be their inspiration.
I shall relate here the account of the last of the five I eliminated. It was November 9, 1888 in the very early hours of the morning. I was walking down the street and she stepped from an alleyway and said, "Show ya a good time, Sir, for only yer pocket change." She was in her middle twenties, dark hair and eyes. For all she was a tempting wench, I knew the filth of her being.
"Will this do?" I asked showing her a handful of coins.
"Oh my yes! Sir! Yes!" Greedily she took them from my hand and put them in a small purse which was attached to her wrist.
"I'll take ya to my place. Follow me, Sir. I promise ya won't be sorry." She led me to her room, a dingy shabby place. She sat on her bed and began to remove her clothing.
"Don't be shy. I won't bite." She was a disgusting tramp. I stood and watched as she made herself ready. When she was naked and lying on her bed, I took out my knife. Her eyes bulged with fright and she exclaimed, "You're him! You're the Ripper!"
I quickly grabbed her around her neck and squeezed tightly. She tried to scream and struggled to free herself. I gripped her throat even harder. Finally she ceased to fight and grew limp and her face became blank. I took the knife and cut her throat. Blood spirted from her arteries soaking into the bed around her head. I made a verticle incision from her sternum to her pubis. I then made horizontal cuts above and below her belly. I peeled her skin away revealing her viscera. Carefully I removed those organs and her intestines laying them all out for display. I enjoyed the feeling of the warm, soft, wet tissue in my hands. As much as I regretted it, I knew that she must be the last. I wiped the knife clean on her bed and left.
In a list
A contest entry
- Autumn Of The Ripper by necronomijon.
350 points, ended August 16, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Good side of Evil! by Surreal Rhapsody.
300 points, ended October 29, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me A Good Short Read by felanor.
525 points, ended June 8, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Best of Historical Fiction!! by Elms Apprehended.
200 points, ended July 7, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want scary/freaky/ghost stories/ Geeez Just enter! by Sheilasbabygal4life.
100 points, ended October 11, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Fancy a challenge?? by BlondSteph.
220 points, ended October 3, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme What Ya Got! by Willowleaf-.
190 points, ended October 6, 32 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Rather interesting view! poor ladies. but never the less a lovely read and your descriptions were very good. All the best in the contest!
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this was really good and very interesting. It was freaky. I enjoyed reading this one. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the cotest!
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I don't know how can your imagination function so brilliantly! The Jack the Ripper twist was really cool! I think you deserved all those trophies.
Keep on writing!
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hi there!
How be you? I haven't seen you for a while.
Thanks for dropping by and checking out this story. Thanks also for commenting and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Thanks for the compliment. I'm very pleased you like this story. I'm also happy that you feel it deserved the trophies, but it hasn't won a gold, yet
!
Andy
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Very good... Uhm very gross too lol, well done
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Hi there, Deathly!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like this story.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Ewwwwww, that was so disgusting, but I loved it. Nice work, I really felt like I was there in the middle of the scene, nice job.
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Hi Volleym!
I'm glad that this story passed muster. I'm glad you love this story.
I'm also glad you could feel a part of the story.
Thanks for hosting this contest.
Andy
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WOW,
i LOVED this, like beyond anything.
omfg this was amazing!!!!
i loved the twist on everything & ur take on this story,
i love getting into the minds of killers :]
good luck in the contest! -
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Hi Iris!
I'm very pleased that you like this story. I had fun writing it. I did a little research and the details are reasonably accurate.
I hope this fares well in your contest.
Andy
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one question, however...
im curious to kno why u named ur story edwin edinborough? -
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Hi Iris!
I didn't want to ruin it by calling it Jack The Ripper
, so I tried to think of a name that seemed English and Edwin Edinborough came to mind. I can't really tell you why beyond that. I'd heard both names in the past, but I couldn't tell you from what.
Andy
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wow thats pretty darn creative lol,
nice work...
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Nicely written! I liked your take on this, making Jack seem to be acting out of an impulse of 'cleaning' the Whitechapel area. A nice twist to the common idea. Well-written, with little to no structural problems! I would have loved something more versatile for this contst, but this was penned well!
Good luck! Thanks for your entry!
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Hi Asfand!
Just a little tale of murder, by now you probably know how I love to write them.
I hope you like my version of little Jack. He was such a sweet historical figure.
Thanks for hosting and applauding.
Andy
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ANDY!
Amazing stroy. Great job, big words, odd picture... Andy, you're an AMAZING writer!!!
Though, I DID find it with a big amount of Adult Content, you really didn't show anything. All I saw were a fw words and knew what was going to hppen, but hey! You didn't SHOW anything adultish! So...
WELCOME TO THE FINALISTS LIST! -
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Hi!
Well, this doesn't contain erotica. There is some gore, but no profanity. I don't believe it needs adult classification.
I am very glad that you like it and glad also that it's being included as a finalist.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting.
Andy
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Nope...
No adult content, but a few... Well words that an 11 year old shouldn't have to read.
Great story though! I really don't care if it has words I shouldn't read... I really liked it and that's all that metters!
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Yeah!
There's rather a fine line sometimes between what is and isn't adult content.
Andy
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I agree
Totally. There's a VERY thin line between what IS adult content and what is not, that's true. I watch movies (and read books) with the smallest line in the WORLD and I still say it isn't adult content. Good point, Andy.
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Whoa. That ending was really disturbing, but I like how you went into detail about exactly what he did. Good job portraying Jack The Ripper - that last paragraph really made me squirm. The characterization in this piece was done really well, and it was interesting to read the part where he considered this a mission from God.
Great work :] -
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Hi Siby!
Thanks again for judging and thanks for reading and commenting. I apprecieate it.
I researched this story to make it as accurate as I could, but of course, his motivation is strictly guesswork. Throughout history, there have been religious fantatics, Jack just seems a natural.
Andy
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Ugh... that was a little disturbing...
But! Great writing, and good job!
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck! -
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Hi! Elmeresia!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I hope you like this little story, the truth about Jack the Ripper.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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No problem.
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Like others have said before me, this piece wasn't so disturbing until the last paragraph, but to that: Eww.
A second and well-written piece of gore from you makes my day I really have no critique to add except that it perhaps would have been more horrific if it had been a pinch longer.
Thanks for the second entry and good luck in my contest.
~Kitty -
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Hi Kittycat!
We may have to fight over that. Oblivion Kitty God, myself, and now you seem to be claiming it. It belongs to me
!
Well, that's neither here nor there.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. May you have many good entries and much fun.
I'm very pleased you like my story.
Andy
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I must say, this is the first story I've read on Jack the Ripper outside of school. Beautifully written and I loved the insightful idea that he was on a mission from God. Eloquently written with a wonderful use of descriptive devices, including the alliteration at the end of paragraph one.
Good luck and thanks for entering my contest!
~Felanor
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Hi Felanor!
I'm very pleased you like the second of my entries as well.
This story came together well for me. Quite short and fun, it's descriptive and complete.
I researched the Ripper for this story to make it as accurate as I could.
Thanks for hosting and for all the applause.
Andy
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Wow! I like it. I like how you used Jack The Ripper as the main character in the story. Didn't make me squirm until the last paragraph. I really enjoyed reading this story.
Good Luck! -
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Hi!
Well, though you didn't squirm until the last paragraphy, I do hope you squirmed enough to get me gold
. It was the most squirm-worthy story I had that fit the contest descriiption and word length.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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I had lots of comments asking me to up the word limit. So I have upped the word limit to 2000. Re-Enter a story if it is better and still fits the 2000 max.
Thanks Watzizname
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Oh, wow that was really good. I liked it how you used Jack the Ripper, that was a really origional way of doing it! Awesome story, good luck on the contest! ^.^!!!
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm glad you like this story. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy -
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No problem, I love hosting contests. Thank you for entering. I have lots of great entries. Yours was really great!
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The truth is that I knew in the beginning that I would never be caught. I decided before I began that I would only indulge myself for a short period of time. I watched the sleazy (comma) young women selling themselves for a few coins (comma) spreading disease and filth in body, spirit (comma) and mind (comma)and I knew that I had to act. That I, Edwin Edinborough, had to rid the city of as much of the pestilence as I could. To my surprise and dismay, I found that I actually enjoyed the slaughtering of these horrid whores.
easy to remember: a comma goes after each item listed even with using a conjuctive (and) and a comma goes after each descriptive of a noun.
Good writing, just punctuation needed for the full impact (and because of professional writing rules, too) ...beginning: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and pointing out my comma blunders. I appreciate it. I'm glad you like the story. It was a shorty for a contest.
Andy
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Right from the start, I loved your use of alliteration in this piece. It really drove home the power and meaning of the words in 'horrid whore' and 'putrid prostitute'. The line with 'sinful soulless' in it was also wonderful.
I like the twist that some of the murders were done by kind of early day 'copy cat killers'. Its a nice theory, and whos to say it wasnt the case?
The blood and guts at the end were a wonderfully gruesome finale. I enjoyed this piece, well written and interesting. -
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Thanks Becca
Occasionally I get poetic when I write. I enjoy alliterations. I read in Wikipedia about the Ripper and there were five murders that were considered most likely committed by the same killer. There were other murders and attacks, but five stood out. So, that's how I wrote the piece. As to the method of killing, this too was in Wikipedia. I'm glad you like this. Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
Andy
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Another fascinating take on the Ripper Legend here- who'd have thought so many of you out there in StoryWrite Land were so twisted?
Well done, and good luck!beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I greatly appreciate it. This turned out to be a shorter piece than I was expecting, but I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you have many great entries and much fun.
Andy
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wooaaahh
this is very good
i like how you wrote it from the rippers pov
The gorey bits were the best!
i don't think ive ever come across a story like this before
(maybe i dont read enough lol)
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it. You like gore. I have some other gory stories.
I like your cat picture for your author's image. It's cute. I have five cats and one of them is in my lap at this moment.
You write pretty well for someone who doesn't read enough. That's surprising.
Andy
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