a giant leap

Dear Karen,1

I am writing this letter to you as my inner being because I think you need to remember the giant leap you took on that day for many reasons. 2

When Dad died I know that you were full of a mixture of emotions. Some of it was of losing a loved one and some of it was relief that he could no longer hurt you. I know that you have struggled with that these last two years because of the shame you feel that you could have even been the slightest bit glad he is no longer here. 3

But... even though you had those feelings you were still willing to do something incredible to remember him and to help others in his shoes. 4

The day that you filled in that form my role as the brain did a nasty turn. How could you even contemplate doing something so dangerous and silly. But you knew it was what you wanted to do and sent off that form anyway. Overtime as people promised money I knew it was going to be an experience we would never forget.5

Then came the day when it was meant to happen but the weather was too bad so we had to go back home. I know that you felt that so deep in your heart because you had so much wanted to do it. To be honest I was glad because I was afraid... thats the logical bit of me you see.6

The first time was still so come though as you chose to go back another day. With a picture of Dad in our pocket you got us to climb into that jumpsuit and we were strapped to that man. I still don't know how you could trust a man named Baldrick but you did.7

Up and up and up we went until we reached an amazingly scary 15,000 feet and the door opened. As your brain let me tell you I was not a happy brain at that time for I could see the danger you were about to undertake. But... you being the feeling part of us knew it was something you wanted to do and something you had to do so..... after the count of 3... we fell from that plane into an amazing free-fall.8

Wow.... the feeling of fear, excitement, elation, awe, wonder and sop many other emotions was overpowering. Looking down seeing the fields below beginning to get nearer and yet still so far away. Then.... without warning Baldrick had pulled the tag and we were hurtled back up as the canopy opened.9

My goodness what a beautiful sight and peaceful ride that became. We became one as we knew that this was the most amazing experience of our life on earth. To be floating through the sky, in silence, watching the world around us. It was so awesome and no words in this brain of mine can ever describe fully what it felt like... that's your department.10

After 15 minutes we finally reached the ground and it was over. You had done it. We had done it. Our first ever parachute jump was over. £600 we had raised for cancer research and Dad's memory had gone with us.11

You were so brave to sign up to that jump but I am glad you did. I didn't want you to at first but now I am glad we did it. It isn't something I hope you'll want to do again but if you do I will be right there with you.12

Well done for taking that giant leap of faith. You trusted in your feelings on that one and not in my logic. There are times when we need to work together and times when one of us is stronger than the other. But what matters is we are still part of the same person and will always look for the best.13

Take care and thank you for being part of me14

Karen15