As I walk through the run down streets
No one gives a damn
About a few poor kids
Growin up in hard times
In a tough two fisted town
Fighting to survive
Every few days someone gets shot and killed
Every few days one of your friends gets addicted to some pill
You try to stay clear of that shit but it feels so good
To let your mind wander out of this neighborhood
High as a kite and free as a bird
No Screaming and fighting to be heard
But ive always been a fighter and I always will
'Till I get shot down and just lay still.
Author notes
I have been looking around where I live. And I wrote about where I live and have grown up. Ive lost a few friends to Ectasy addiction,and some friends I know have been shot,stabbed,etc. I personally have been stabbed in the arm before,left a pretty scar.
I just wanted to post this up to let everyone know that the world isnt all that nice where I live and to be thankfull for what they have.
Peace
-Marshall
A contest entry
- Depressing poetry by try2changeme.
125 points, ended February 3, 54 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
I liked it a lot, and how you show that living in 'that side of town' is so horrible, and that everything is just wrong.. i just think that there should have been more to it, or more about the life there, instead of it just revolving about pills and violence. how about suicide, or pure murder, or the deep feelings you would get if someone you loved died to the drugs?
otherwise, it was good -
Damn right it aint nice, great story man
-
This is damn good mate. I can totally relate to this...I grew up in a fucked up place Myself. I like how you expressed yourself here.
-
Oh, thats sad. although true. how depressing.
-
Grrr... I hate drugs... and alchohol and violence but I love this poem. It reminds me that we can be free of all of that if we try... awww lol
-
Oooh. I like it. You may think I'm crazy, but I have this afinity for violence and drugs and things of the sort. Maybe because I don't live in a big city were it's everywhere (even though this small town is pretty fucked.)and I like the adrenaline rush of it all. Oh well, but this really is really good.
(PS-I'm sure the scar is pretty. But it probably hurt like hell so you deserve it.)
-Patience
-
Holy fark....I swear this sounds like the neighborhood I lived in when I was staying with my grandma for that brief period of time....wow....umm....it was good kind of brought back some unsettling memories though.
-
-turns her head away- I disagree with violence as much as war(Hard to believe, but it's my personality at the moment), so I am sure you know how I feel about this. It was very good, though. So, good job ^.^
-
It's good that you write poetry about this stuff, it's important and i like how you conveyed your message very simply.
-
i disagree with anyreasonwhy so much. i think that it was well written... its flow was great; the hint of rhyming wasnt too much nor too little.
the topic you chose to write about was relevant and important. A serious issue you are dealing with and you wrote about it with such sincerity.
The use of vocab i thought was good. it was quite standard, but why should it be complex when the message you were conveying was indeed conveyed?
also, why should it have to be a parable? it is just a piece of writing that has a meaning behind it... why is it being a parable such a big deal?
anyway, i liked this piece. it spoke to me... well done.
-
-
Thank You Midnightmare for your comment!
-
-
coool
it a very nice imagery, i like it alot -
-
Thanks Shane
-
-
Wow. This just proves that this world has some cleaning up to do and it's not like it'll be done. I hate the world today and this is a perfect example why. This poem really speaks to me. Good job, Marshall.
x Julez -
-
Thanks Julez for your comment.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
