The Day Mud Man Came

The Day Mud Man Came

Mud Man, Mud Man

Smells just like a trash can

Scoop you up in one big hand

Toss you in his frying pan

Better eat your vegetables

Better get yourself to bed

Mud Man gets the bad old kids

Listen what your mommy said

Ever since before our people came to this place mothers have been scaring their kids into doing what they were told with a warning that Mud Man would scoop them up and take them away if they didn't.

"Eat your peas or Mud Man'll get you."

"Be in before dark or Mud Man will eat you up."

"Wash good behind your ears or Mud Man will sniff you out."

There was a legend that there was a real Mud Man at one time, but surely no man could be so old as to have lived where we were before and still be alive; that is, unless he was, well, never mind. Anyway, there is a story that there was a man named Amos who lost his family in a tragic fire which destroyed his house and barn, For weeks he searched through the ashes and never found a trace, just got crazier and crazier and dirtier and dirtier. Finally he wandered off to live in a cave in the forest; shaggy hair hanging in eyes and his ears half full of dirt, crying for his lost loved ones, sobbing and wailing constantly from his misery. They say he searches still and takes any children he finds back to his cave, and when he finds out they aren't his children, well, none have ever come back, but hunters have come back from the deep forest with tales of strangely gnawed bones, and children do vanish from time to time.

Anyway, one day little David was playing in the yard with the new puppies. He was all dressed up in his good clothes and waiting for his mother to come out so they could go to market. Well, a puppy did what puppies do and suddenly David had a mess on his shoe. Not wanting his mother to know he went down to the barn for a bit of sack cloth to wipe it off. When he bent down to wipe his shoe Ben, the old billy goat couldn't resist giving him a little butt in the butt. Foop, he squirted through the fence into the pig yard like a well aimed basketball through the hoop. The piglets were delighted to have their friend pop in and started rooting him around, looking for the wonderful treats he usually brought them. David struggled up and back through the fence as quickly as he could, but by the time he did he was quite mucky. The chant started running through his head,

Mud Man, Mud Man

Smells just like a trash can

Scoop you up in one big hand

Toss you in his frying pan

Better eat your vegetables

Better get yourself to bed

Mud Man gets the bad old kids

Listen what your mommy said

He went running up the hill toward the house holding his arms out to his sides; hoping to not make things any worse and hoping that mud Man wouldn't see him like that.

"Auauauaughhhh. Auauaughhhhhh." screamed David as he ran up the hill, fearful of what his mother would think and do and most of all, sure that Mud Man would get him.

"Aaaaaaaa." screamed Mary as she pointed toward him. "Mud Man is coming. Aaaaaaaaaaa." The other children were soon all screaming and pointing too. They started to run.

"I knew it." thought David. "I got so muddy he's going to claim me now. He's right behind me." and he ran even faster.

People were coming out of houses on both sides of the street; mommies, old folks and even toddlers with baggy diapers down to their knees. They all started screaming and running when they saw what was coming. David ran even faster. He was panting and trying to scream, sure that he could feel the rancid breath of Mud Man hot on his neck.

David was running down the street panting and trying to scream, "Unnhhh, unhhhhh."

Mommies were screaming and trying to run to safety, babies wailing in their arms."

The children were running as fast as they could and chanting,

"Mud Man, Mud Man

Smells just like a trash can

Scoop you up in one big hand

Toss you in his frying pan

Better eat your vegetables

Better get yourself to bed

Mud Man gets the bad old kids

Listen what your mommy said"

The men; out working in the fields heard and saw what was going on and made a plan. They all gathered along the side of the bridge at the edge of town. Quickly, the crowd ran toward them and on past. By the time they got to crossing the bridge the older children were in the lead, followed by the mommies with babies, then the old folks and younger children behind, with David, still bellowing, among them.

The men swept across the bridge carrying Mud Man and a few of the stragglers into the river with them.

There was a great splashing and thrashing in the river, during which old Mrs. Jonas somehow lost the robe she had been wearing.

Slowly everyone emerged from the river, including David who was now no dirtier than everyone else.

The men aren't sure how Mud Man got away, each of them being sure they had given him a few good knocks. Silas swears he bit Mud Man. Hiram shows where Mud Man bit his shoulder.

David is the most obedient, cleanest boy in the village, looking over his shoulder often to make sure Mud Man isn't right behind him again.

Mothers still scare their children with stories of Mud Man and the kids believe, oh yes, they believe and at night they huddle under the covers and quietly chant,

"Mud Man, Mud Man

Smells just like a trash can

Scoop you up in one big hand

Toss you in his frying pan

Better eat your vegetables

Better get yourself to bed

Mud Man gets the bad old kids

Listen what your mommy said

Mud Man came to town one May

Smelled his awful stinky breath

Chased us to the bridge that day

Almost was our very death"

And it is rumoured that some of the mommies leave sandwiches out for Mud Man at dusk to keep him fed and away from their children, but where they go is another story.