Mort of Magic1
I first met Mort at the Belmore Cafeteria on 28th Street and Park Avenue in New York City. On Saturday afternoons it was the place where magicians congregated to entertain and amaze one another, socialize, and show and tell; just about everything but eat. Mort loved to eat and made an unabashed ritual of it during the week, when he gathered at one of the other, more formal, magical meeting places for luncheon. He would open his suit jacket and tuck one of Rosoff's large linen napkins behind his shirt collar, straighten the square over his large mid section and ask what kind of soup was being served today... to start with. 2
But on this Saturday afternoon Mort was not eating. He was otherwise engaged in demonstrating a piece of magic to a small group of magi, whose rapt attentions were focused on a couple of coins which Mort kept dropping as they slipped through his chubby fingers. At first, going by the little coterie, I mistook Mort for one of the senior sleighters who appeared from time to time on Saturdays, like memory maven Harry Lorayne or young David Roth, but it soon became clear that Mort, although he desperately tried to battle his way through "moves" and manipulations, was, despite his gold finger ring, no master magician. (I asked him where he got his master magician's ring... Mort said he bought it for himself.) Essentially he was a collector, a lover of magic and magical apparatus, or as he called it, the affus-gaffus. 3
My curiosity led me to ask Mort what he had there, and thus began a lengthy friendship during which I don't think I ever witnessed Morty perform an... "effect" without a fumble. But his ungainly finger flicking afforded me more spasms of laughter than anyone has before or since. 4
I recall him walking down the aisle at the New York Hunter College auditorium with his extremely tall and lovely girlfriend Lynn. It reminded me of Mort donning the Rosoff's napkin... and of his attempts at manipulating a complicated "affus-gaffus." He was in charge, never mind appearances. Everyone smiled and greeted him. He was an integral part of his surroundings, although I certainly knew he was not the night's recipient of the Star of Magic Award! But everyone knew Mort. And he, slowly negotiating the center aisle, smiled at everyone on both sides. 5
Lynn was regal and stately; Mort, not quite. But they laughed together and fit together and enjoyed each other. They seemed to come from an adult mystery-world of romance, late nights, expensive dinners, nightclubs and country weekends. Mort and Lynn seemed to be forever emerging from the good life, sharing intimate thoughts and sharing each other. With his gold, diamond-topped pinky ring prominently in view as if he were on the verge of a performance (a miracle, in Mort's words), or with Lynn on his arm, Mort appeared the quintessence of class and magic... during the time I knew him. 6
One afternoon Morty invited me up to his east side apartment. He turned on the living room fountain that he had bought, he said, for Lynn before their break-up, and led me into his room. As the water spouted through the pink and green lights (or was it the pink and green lights which illuminated the jets of water?) Mort treated me to a look at dozens and dozens of unopened pieces of close-up magic. Gawking in disbelief and wonder, I saw marvelous effects from all over the world, from the best and most exclusive manufacturers of magic: coins, cards, boxes, silks, dice, brass, copper, silver, mechanisms and assorted apparatus (affus-gaffus). But they were all unopened: some in see-through packages, some still sealed in mystery enshrouded brown envelopes, some boxed with gold and black printed labels, official and precise. 7
"You've not opened any of these," I said. 8
"I opened a few, not too many," said Mort. 9
"And what are you waiting for? 10
"Someday," said Mort, "when I am old and infirm I'll lie back on this bed and open all the packages and amuse myself." He said he couldn't wait. 11
Weekends for me were taken up with jaunts out of town and a thinner, city life, but in time I had become inured of the tired colors of autumn leaf viewing. Country antiquing over the years had become less than novel and I missed the old urban magic... and some of the magicians. 12
I had lost track of Mort for some time and imagined that one day I would magically appear at the old cafeteria for a joyful reunion with all the boys, especially hoping to run into Mort. On an overcast weekend afternoon when I did show up, peering through the little clumps of people gathered at the back tables, I did not espy my old friend fumbling with slippery decks or trying to recover bouncing and rolling gaffed coins from beneath a performing surface. I couldn't find him. In fact I could find no one I remembered. Mort, they asked? Mort who? 13
It was at the magic shop, months later, that I recognized one of Mort's pieces in a blue velvet box. It was one of those strange and contrived bits of magical mystery wherein linen napkins glide through golden napkin rings and are transformed into colorful silks. It was unused and judging by the complicated set of instructions that accompanied the effect it would probably never be used. But it had passed from Mort's estate into the magic shop and of course I bought it. 14
I sometimes think of the time Mort was showing off a new miracle he had recently attempted to learn which required a delicate double-lifting of the top two cards. With very little subtlety, Mort wet his thumb repeatedly as he brushed it across his tongue, and then proceeded to drop all the cards as the lift failed. Observing this as perhaps the worst, most audacious and inept kind of misdirection possible, I began to laugh uncontrollably. And knowing it was more than misdirection, indeed the end of a failed sleight as well as a performance, Mort shook with laughter as well. In fact, the two of us convulsed for longer than the effect could have lasted. And then one elderly onlooker who had been gazing intently at Mort's manipulation said: "You know, that was a shitty trick!" 15
I never performed the napkin ring effect... Somehow I never got around to opening it. I just look at the blue velvet box when I pass the case it rests in, and think of the magic. 16
*17
Author notes
The Magic is not always in the magic!
This is entered in the CHARACTER category (Option#2)
A contest entry
- SW Oscars - Best Humor Story - Invite Only! by Asfand.
125 points, ended September 10, 2007, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - hero. by whatami.
300 points, ended June 30, 2008, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your BEST characters! by gocubsgo25.
275 points, ended October 4, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Options by Olinda.
100 points, ended October 25, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Unique Characters! by angellove.
500 points, ended January 10, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - THUNDERDOME by beerstorecowboy.
100 points, ended January 18, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Good writing... by Lois.Stone.
350 points, ended February 25, 70 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short-short Story Contest! Any genre welcome! by amanda vampiress.
475 points, ended August 10, 60 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes 3! by UsagiDreams.
107 points, ended August 20, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Magic/Supernatural by LoveGo13.
75 points, ended October 7, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - What is your best short story? by gocubsgo25.
325 points, ended October 28, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hey.
This is a really good story, but i'm always really stict with word counts to make it fair..
Thanks for entering though.
Staci
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Masterful
"and think of the magic." This is a great ending for another delightful story. It reminds me a little of the Lovin Spoons line form "Do You Believe in Magic" where Sebastian predicts "maybe then you'll see, how the magic's in the music and the music's in me." As you story illustrates, magic takes place between two people, there may be more than one in the audience, but it is always between two people. TV focuses on the QB as he throws to a receiver, but the magic is not the catch, the blocking, the pass route, the plays used to set up the catch. The magician or QB is the conduit, the magic is always your perception of interdependent acts and the unexpected result, something that you could not duplicate.
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Heh heh
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Thanks.
Nothing like an articulate comment.
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Ah, yes; Misdirection
Another delightful character sketch.
beginning: 3, language: 4, ending: 3, characters: 5.
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very good, detailed and beleivable.
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Well written, good luck in my contest.
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very nice
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This was excellent! I enjoyed every word and every line that was written. You have such a way of enchanting your readers'. I'm jealous!
Anyways, I thought this little tale 'Mort of Magic' was thrilling, engaging, and certainly magical. I did not spot any spelling or grammar errors which is a plus in my book. This was such an excellent read. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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Funny and interesting tale.
The description in the beginning of Mort was wonderful. It was like I was there in the room watching him.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Every single story you write (and I read) has magic in it. Great caracters, so clear and alive. In my mind, I can see them like I'm watching my friend sitting with me around the table, or just walking. You know what I mean, it's like they are not only story-persons, but real, walking, breathing, talking ones.
Don't know why, but when I read this, it left a spark of happiness in my soul. And I really needed that today. Thank you.
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WOW....KHOO
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aww. Mort sounded so sweet.i injoyed meeting him.good luck.
Gabe
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Mort Est Mort!
And everyone knows that magic isn't magic at all if you're looking for the trick... poor old Mort couldn't do the tricks, and I guess that's what made him so magical - the fact that he tried anyway, and took pleasure in it nonetheless. Let's face it... if we went through life only doing the things we were good at, then what a waste of life it would be! (I wouldn't be trying to put words to my take on this story right here, right now, for example!)
"... the two of us convulsed for longer than the effect could have lasted..." I feel that this is the 'magic' line, the one that sums up Mort and his character perfectly. It's one of those moments that remain frozen in time. People can relate to it because everyone has one of those 'you had to be there' moments.
So Mort, in the end, didn't get to do what he'd been looking forward to. Well, that's life. The fact that the narrator has never opened the box sort of keeps Mort alive. He knows the magic trick doesn't belong to him... it will always be Mort's.
One last thing... a lot of stories take a normal, everyday person and thrust them into amazing and extraordinary situations. I love the way you've switched that round by taking an amazing and extraordinary character and put him in a normal, everyday environment.I've noticed you do that a lot. Because, again, that's the way life works.
Oh, wouldn't it be great if I could one day write a comment that made sense at all? Until I figure out how to, suffice to say that I enjoyed it muchly. Cheers!
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great work
totally maical how good it is LOL -
I laughed about his "ungainly finger flicking," and even more at "he was in charge, never mind appearances".
Reading about the break-up, the apartment; but especially all his "affus gaffus" that he was saving for when he was old and infirm made me so very sad!
You certainly did a MAGICAL job with this character. It is brilliant. Sweet and sorrowful at the same time. Truly touching. And utterly deserving of all the awards received.
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your a good writer
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Once again, beautiful and amzing. I can always tell your stories from everyone else's. Just something about them that stands out and has a huge sign saying you wrote them. While this is a favorite, and I do love it. I would have a harder time between Ben Borden, and Santiago.
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lol - here you go!
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Well done! Very creative, you have a way of putting words together that is incredible!
Loisxx -
Impressive
Man, I wish I could give you a long, painful, searing, nauseating pile of stinking brutality...
but I can't!
This is a very well-written piece. You have quite a knack for wording things. You are a magician of what a high school English teacher might call "flowery language." When done poorly, it's distracting. When done ostentatiously, it's pretentious. But when done right, it's this story.
My main criticism here is that the story isn't much of a story. It's a beautiful character sketch, but a very uneventful one as well. I would have certainly liked to hear more about what Mort was up to before he died(?). He's a very unique character and I feel he up and bit the dust before I really got to know the guy!
Aside from a few grammar mistakes and a run-on sentence here or there, this is a tasty tidbit of what I'd like to see become a full story. -
This is a delightful character sketch. I like the added humor to it. Showing who Mort was through another character who knew him very well was a good way to reveal him. You did a very good job with description, both physical and otherwise.
Thanks for entering my contest.
Write On!
Beth
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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So Mort died? Bummer. I would have liked to have seen some more of his tricks.
I suppose the point of the story was the surprise ending. But it seemed like it was missing something. I kind of wanted to see Mort do tricks. I've tried doing a few tricks every now and then, so I have a bit of a taste for magic and sleight of hand. Clever stuff.
Still, great show, chap.
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This light-hearted reminiscence of an old friend was a good read.
In a way, it is a bittersweet tale. The good times and the laughter shared are dampened by the knowledge of Mort's death but the fact one of his memorabilia was found and purchased as a keepsake brought about a neat ending to a well written story.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Very different from some of the stories I've been reading on this site. It doesn't matter if it is "true" or not; your writing it makes it real, and on top of that you made it believable. This is not a high-action work, but one of thinking and feeling, and it is done very well. I'm glad I stopped by.
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This Story for me is very well thought out very origonal i really like it beacuse it shows interest about magic that people think is dead but really people have to recreate. for me the best part was all of it i love this story keep up the good work.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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hey its pretty good not the best but pretty goood
written very well though
keep writing
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Hi Gary
Is this non-fiction or fiction? Your stories always seem to read like a piece of life. It is a very well written narrative.
Mort was more of a collector than a magician. It seems that he would have really enjoyed being a master.
I used to do the silly trick of having someone pick a card from the deck and finding it for them. I was pretty good at that trick.
Andy
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ooo urban magic.. very good. very original too, great job
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It's not easy to come across this kind of story on this site, but it makes me really happy when I do. A quality humour story doesn't make you laugh, it makes you smile. This story does that to me, maybe it's the way it has some kind of sad undertone, with the hero's being unable to find Mort in the end. I did feel like the beginning was the beginning of a novel rather than a short story, but I don't know if that's a bad thing or not. I know for sure that I like everything else, however, and I'm happy I found this little gem.
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cool really funny in a not laugh out loud way. Where did you get the idea for the story it was very original, though reminds me of the Prestige *was that contradicting or what* Enjoyed it. And I showed my friend Kara,she's a magic nut. She likes i too but she feel that some of the actions and language is unrealistic. But she doesn't know any better, so ignore her. Completely awesome
beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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I loved it.
Can't say much. Just love it to much.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I quite enjoyed your story. However, I do feel it could read a lot better if you did an edit.I've offered a few suggestions. I hope they are of some help.
I'd end the 1st paragraph just with what kind of soup was being served today.
2nd para - not too sure, but shouldn't 'were' be 'was' Also, why is 'moves' in inverted commas and not manipulations? The comma should come after manipulation and not after was.
Shouldn't you have rather referred to him as Morty in the beginning? I think you could omit the name Mort sometimes and rather use he as I found it repetitive and off-putting while reading.
Regards
Bernice DeLucchibeginning: 2, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 2.
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Very Nice
Very good, a nice humerous touch, although I like the mystery of where he went at the end.
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interesting. i originally got onto this cos it looked like the title meant death of magic, but anyways, im glad that i did stuble across this, cos its a fairly entertaining read. Keep up the good work
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Ok, really sorry, I clicked by accident and I really can't read tonight, I simply don't have time to give a decent review. But I appreciate this wastes your feature, so perhaps you could message me tomorrow and remind me to come back to this? Sorry for your time, and look forward to reading
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Good Ironic Read
Well-written with a character one can relate to easily. I like the p-o-v character here, too. Could sharpen up the ending a bit--no the box which is fine but his efforts to find Mort. My notes from reading follow.
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"tostart with" not needed. The aside about his ring being bought could be saved for later where it would have more effect. Then we have suspense about the gold ring to make us more curious about the character. P6-"laughed together and enjoyed one another's company" would be cleaner.
I'd remove "magically" from P13
Need a transition word or two in P7 to show the passage of time between "One day," when Lynn has become passe and the previous P when they were tight. -
Hey,
So i checked this out and enjoyed the read. It was good to hear the bittersweet recollection of someone that was missed and I felt that emotion was great.
But i felt that the sentences were sometimes a bit too long, which made it confusing to read, and hard to stay focused. Only piece of advice would be to watch that when editing it, read it aloud and see how it flows.
Good though, very. -
I think I read it before. Anyway i still liked it, and it made me grin. The plot was also very good. keep up the good work!
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I like it. It is a very well written piece of work.
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This piece leaves me quite sad. Even in the beginning. A nice work. I find it to be refreshing. Shancy.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Nice job! A few spelling mistakes, but it's readable so I don't care. I liked it but I think maybe there should be more dialog? Just a suggestion ^^
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I liked the ending, but getting there was highly confusing. You never tell much of the main character -I didn't even know that he was a magician until the end of the story- and you focus on Mort so much more than necessary. For instance, what was the point of telling us about his girlfriend? She appeared to have almost no effect whatsoever on the story. There's also much more description than story in this piece; I found myself actually wondering when the action was going to start.
I did enjoy this though, it was very calm and the ending is sort of nostaligic in a sense...to me. The ending, actually, was the best part and leaves the reader with a very satisfied feeling. Kudos on that.
beginning: 1, language: 4, plot: 1, ending: 5, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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Vivid characterization really brings this to life and I did engage with your character of Mort. A very well written piece that most certainly held my attention and I found it an original concept throughout. Appropriate variety of sentence constructions and this certainly deserves the trophies it has already won. Excellent write, thanks for sharing.
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Quite an interesting tale with a couple of very interesting characters to boot. You wrote this piece very well and kept me interested to the very end. I don't think i have read a story about magic performers before. It was amusing and at the same time a little on the sad side. The begiining was a good lead into the whole write, as the ending was to finish off. I believe you have a natural knack for writing and should continue to develop your style as much as you can.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hey
I really enjoyed this
it was very creative, and i was highly entertained
keep it up, cant wit to read more -
Godd piece of work
While reading it ,i felt like crying only for few seconds.It's really beautiful,realistic the way you've described Mort .It reminds of sb i knew that tired so hard to make people feel better.I know that this comment is not enough but it's a great work.So realistic ,simple but complicated.
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umm..
It's cool! it's cute, but sweet. -
touching.
This is a beautifully crafted glimpse into a heartwarming friendship. I really enjoyed it. The line in the AN had a remarkable effect for me, I think it seals the story perfectly. So bittersweet. Anyway, great job.
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A WONDERFUL VIGNETTE
I agree with lutinperi. I think you should end the story with the sentence "The Magic is not always in the magic."
One thing though: I take exception to your use of the word magi in this context. I think it is too attached to its original historical context. Just a suggestion.
Anaya Roma
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Oh, this was fun! It's like the magician pulled the ultimate disappearing act, ironically, at the end. He finally got a trick right, and it involved disappearing and making people forget him!
I loved your descriptions of him; you made him very believable to me. A great little bit of affus-gaffus!
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Well written.....
The best stories are the one that keep my enjoyment throughout the tale. Solid character development. In short stories its not pragmatic to develop all sides of the human genre. You shared enough for all of us to develop an affection for Mort. Mort's physical presence was easy to envision.
Enjoyed.
Thanks..... -
very interesting!
i really liked it!
mort seemed like such a loveable character!
and i loved the end where they are laughing at the trick the he messed up and the onlooker makes that remark.
hilarious.
thanks for entering and good luck!
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that... was interesting, but the true clincher for the story, to me, came in the author's notes. It was a great read, and i enjoyed it.
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I liked this piece Gary. You really have the nostalgia genre cornered! I also like the theme of magic not being in magic.
I've looked at three of your pieces now, and there is an observation here: this is your oldest, but it is the one with the lowest number of overly long sentences (in my opinion, mind you - everything can be debated!). I really loved your sentence flow and grammar - very easy reading, which is needed for a piece like this.
Only three editorial style observations:
para 6. The sentence "With his gold, diamond-topped pinky ring prominently in view as he was on the verge of a performance (a miracle, in Mort's words), or with Lynn on his arm, Mort appeared the quintessence of class and magic... during the time I knew him" is a little long, and lost a bit of ease of reading.
para 13. First sentence uses the name Mort twice - minor point but I think you could substitute one of them with another identifier.
para 14. "top two cards" of a deck? I know it is obvious, but it is currently a little ungrammatical.
I enjoyed reading this.
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Humorous
The world needs more humor and less cut-throat competition. Your command of English seems very good. Congratulations on a good spell-binder.
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nice story
magic + friendship nice combination . i think this the most intresting story i ever read . try to write more with this character . good job ,keep it up.
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Very enjoyable =) it's different than the other pieces I've read so far, but just as catchy. You capture human emotions very well. I don't know how you do it
G'job.
~Trillian~
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This read like a memoir. (Sorry for pointing out the obvious) Lots of class. Mort's personality is interesting; doing what he loves doing without humiliation. Doesn't Mort mean death? Because death was creatively..webbed into the story. Death of a relationship, of a hero, a memory, etc...Sorry for rambling. Great job and good luck.
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I enjoyed reading this, its very flowy, the words dance with eachother along the same song, rare that that happens.... actually I am still working on that
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It was good and well written. Thank you for entering and good luck
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I enjoyed reading this story. Just good straightforward storytelling, with no unnecessary sleight-of-hand. Your author's note applies to the way you tell this story.
I would like to know more about Mort, so depending upon how well you knew him and how much you remember, Mort's character could maybe be developed more, making a better (although longer) story. But it is fine just the way it is. -
very interest. it was well written and very creative
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This is a great story. It's very well - written and flows nicely. I do not however, find this story humorous, as I see that it was entered into a humor contest. It was thoughm, a bit upsetting. Of course, that's just the way I interpreted the story. I really loved it though and I thought it was very touching in a way.
Good work.
Holly Maddox
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You've got a monster character there. I think I see a great insight into the humanities in you . write us somemore!
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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very cool. different from a lot of stories on here. that was very well written. i didnt see any major errors either great job!
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Wonderful!
Oh, what a lovely story! I really didn't see any glaring errors at all, and was too busy following along to notice! You should ahve gotten much higher than an honorable mention, in my humble opinion. If I was your real Granny, I'd tell you to send that to a magician's magazine!
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very strange. lol
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needs work
Hi ---I’m not all that sure just what make this a story worth telling. The character Mort is certainly colorful in an inept sort of way, but that is rarely justification for a story.
Humor is in the eye of the beholder, what is side slapping humor to one, is mildly amusing to another and simply goes over the head of the third. Many have praised the character development of Mort; I on the other hand found it rather wanting. The buffoon side of Mort`s character is over developed, while the serious side is a blank.
Some reviewers thought it rather amusing, to learn that Mort acquired his ring, simply by purchasing it. I on the other hand found it a little pathetic. We are told he is a collector, a lover of magic, but never told how he is able to afford, what must be a very expensive hobby.
So Mort is a fat, playboy, male version of Diamond Lil, only with a love for magic.
The last part of the puzzle you have developed has to be that Mort simply ran out of money. He disappeared from the scene he loved, because he could no longer afford the charade, he had created.
Jump in if I’m going too far a field; these are the question, this story awakes in me, the answers, are my guesses, because unfortunately with this story that’s all I can do.
Now as far as the writing goes you certainly have the ability to develop a character, even if you decide to develop him in part only. You carry the story along nicely, but with a narration that is a must.
You tend to run to long sentences, even hedging on run-on sentences. You tend to start sentences with the words [and; but] these are poor choices, in my humble opinion. When I come across a sentence starting with [but] I immediately ask my self but what, as I look around for the goat. And is a joining word, generally used to expand an idea, not start a new one.
I know my review is swimming up steam, compared to the vast majority of them, but my review is worthless if not honest.
Talk to you soon---ablelaz.
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I do Enjoy your stories!
Thanks for sharing!
Well described and totally believable.
A story of friendship true.
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I found this to be a beautiful story, sad, but it had a feeling of completion; a sense of 'rightness(?) about it. Well crafted and elegantly finished.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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good story. It really shows alot of Mort and his good-hearted, magicky personality. I really liked the good desription that you used in this story. By the way, how do you get such coll backrounds on all of your stories. (that question pobably sounds childish but I really do want to know.) good job with this story. I think that it is a really good half-biography.
beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 2, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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Great. Good old Mort. I know someone named Mort, and he's kinda like that, though he's not in the affus-gaffus business. He too saves packages to open later when he's bored. He claims that he's insane, but only slightly, and in a nice way. this reminds me of him.
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nice!
Mort is a very interesting character and i encourage you to keep writing about him and his magic tricks.
Well Done!
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you're right, I did enjoy it. You made Mort a very colorful character. I was sad that he couldn't find him again, that things had changed so much. It was nice that he had that bit of nostalgia to remember him by. So far, your pieces have seemed very significantly about change and time.
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Cool
I loved this piece. If it's about magic then I'll read it, even better if I enjoyed it, which I did. Original and entertaining.
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LOL. Know what this reminds me of a certain friend of mine who perform "magic tricks" DAILY at school! XD He sits in front of me. He, like Mort fumbles a lot! ^_^; I think he'd make a better comedian than magician. There's definitely magic in making me people laugh. So far, this is my FAV piece from you! Awesome as always.
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Diffently (I'm an awful speller ) not what I expected when I clicked on it. But wonderfully written anyways. I've always found that friendship IS the most powerful magic and I wouldn't make it a day without it.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
Brooke
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Quite exquisite
Yes, indeed, the magic is not always in the magic. The ending where he looked at the blue velvet box and thought about the magic inside was a wonderful ending. This whole story was original, one you can't expect from a book ^_^
Anyway, this was really, really great! Good luck in the contest, Gary =]
[haha even though the contestants' names are anonymized I know it's you ]
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Pleasure to have pleased.
The magic here has become the readers. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I just own the hat...sometimes wield the wand. Thanks for the kind words and generous response. No greater reward.
GA -
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Well, you're quite welcome ^^
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Yes, the magic is there in the words but it was that special feeling you conveyed, the bond with Mort that was magical.
Such a terrific setting to open up and let all see that pearl of friendship.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Nice One!
This piece is very well written, the descriptions are excellent and leap off of the page straight in to the readers head.
The story also has the potential to grow some long legs with further chapters.
All the best.
jsdk
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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I loved this story, very touching, very well written. As already said the Magic is not necessarily in the Magic.
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Wonderful! I wish I could have met Mort and his "magic". This is just a great story, great message too.
I tried to read this before, but I never had enough time. Glad I could today!
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And another one Fer!
Thanks, Andy. I think, in magic, we used to call it a "retention pass." The coin has apparently vanished...but the image...the illusion, lingers on!
GA
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wow fascinating. I love it you should get 100 applauds but i only have 2 sorry. Keep up the good work
Love goddes
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Anything related to magic has always fascinated me. Enjoyed the story. I loved Mort, his way of looking at life. The way he takes pleasure in not opening the packages till he becomes old.Short and capitivating.
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Great Job.
I loved how you built the character, and how well the story flowed. Once again, great job.
~Cali
beginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 5.
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Well written, interesting and unusual
(I asked him where he got his master magician's ring... Mort said he bought it for himself.) grin—The best way to get something.
The writing is clear and easily followed. Two such different friends. Your characters sport wonderful personalities, that makes the reader feel their emotions. At times you made Mort such a sad almost pathetic creature—but that wasn’t the case at all, because before I knew it I was laughing with him and the narrator.
You created an interesting situation in such a short format, I am curious as to what you can do with a longer story.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Glad you came back!
You are correct! Mort was not, nor was he meant to be, "pathetic." Mort was a joy...Mort was Magic! Delighted you saw this.Part of this tale lay in the evolution...the change in character...as it might take place during the transformation in a magic effect. Presto...Chango! (It's all part of the illusion!) Part of my little symbolism...which some get...some don't! (Now you see it...now you don't.)
You like length? Try "Last Stand"...people seem to like it. (I prefer shorter tales.)
Thanks for coming back!
GA
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I enjoyed this piece very much and luved the character of Mort. the ending is sad, but i enjoyed the structure of your ryting, it's lyk a build up of memories.
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I feel unresolved at the end of this. Mort was interesting character. I think of him as well-developed, but not well-explained. I'm sure his idiosyncracies were just hovering on the edge of the story, waiting to work themselves in.
None of it jumped at me. The beginning was quirky and interesting, and submerged me into Mort's world. The middle didn't hint at a build-up. And Mort's disappearance was understated enough that I almost read right past it.
But nonetheless, I did enjoy it. For me, it was a brief stay in an autonomous and well-developed world. A 7/10.
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BETTER than >7.
Sorry to have rendered you unresolved. I guess I can't win 'em all. Did you really need to have old Mort better explained than he was? I thought I said it all! (lol!)(All that needed to be said, anyway, for this piece!) In fact, Mort, I thought, was pretty well ROUNDED! Sorry it failed to "jump" at you. You shoulda been there with us! You might have smiled...then again, Baron, you might not have. (I'm thinking...you might not have!)
And...if you nearly read "past" something...you should read more carefully. I don't "hint" at "build-ups" and I do "understate." I do NOT overstate. So...be careful. In any case, I'm glad you "enjoyed" your "brief stay."
GA
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good write.
I enjoyed the read... and of course, like all the readers, I loved Mort. And I found it to have a rather sad ending.
I have no idean why some disaprove the rhetorical questions. I think they are in fact making the story better and add a special flavour to it... I myself tend to put rhetorical questions in my stories and I don't thinnk that it indicates a children-book style.
I enjoyed.
I take the hat off and bow
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< Pay Nimwits Nutjobs & Neurotics No Mind!
There WERE no rhetorical questions.(Unless you refer to the pink & green lights?...this is relatively inconsequential and only served to illustrate the folloy of the fountain...as yet another of Mort's love of gadgets, some of which, admittedly were without much substance) The "individual" who commented here was disturbed...and had absolutely NO basis for ANY of his or her comments that were made. (He or she comments VERBATUM to everyone!)I might also say this saga, in NO way is a child's tale. Despite the "magic."
Thanks for reading!
GA
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The piece is filled with so many wonderful observations. I remember as a child, looking at the grown ups, and thinking them so very glamorous and mysterious. Now of course, I find the same kind of people overbearing and tacky!
Mort was a truly heart warming character. You write these personal pieces so well, with such charm that they are a pleasure to read.
How sad that Mort's demise was only discovered after his affus gaffus was found for sale. But what a touching tribute that it remained un-opened, just as it's original owner had kept it.
Magic in life is never where we would obviously look for it. Mort's magic was not in his tricks (however un-skillful they may have been), but in his good humour and sheer charm. The world would be better for a few more men like Mort!
A wonderful tale, Gary. Reading your work is so often comparable to a cozy chat with an old friend, and this one had every ounce of warmth and informality I would come to expect from you.
Keep writing my friend, for many people surely take pleasure with your words.
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< But no Hocus Pocus
Angel, It is good to see you here on one of my pages. I delight in your finding the "wonderful" in the tale, the "charm" in the personal piece, and I look forward to the "cozy" in a chat someday. It all falls under the heading of: "More Magic."
Thank you again,
GA
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