Letter to Louise (part 7 of a series)

(I'm gonna have a series of letters, which will be written, (but not sent), to various people in my life. It will be a series. Name's have been changed to protect the innocent.......and the not so innocent)

Dear Louise,

You get to have a new analogy-a cake. You’re now my cake. Cause you see, I know we aren’t working out. But you promise things will improve. That’s where the cake part comes in. Maybe your just undercooked, and if I give you time, you’ll turn out to be one of the sweetest things I know. Or maybe I mucked up the recipe, and no matter what I do, no matter how long I wait, the cake is gonna suck. Maybe, no matter how long I wait, things aren’t gonna get up to the level I want.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe I’m expecting too much. Maybe, instead of always searching for something perfect (like chocolate cake), I should instead settle for vanilla. Not permanently, of course not. But, just for now. I need something to keep me going. And who knows, vanilla may even grow on me.

But, I don’t think so. I wanna leave now, so we may have something to salvage. Maybe, if I end us now, I can salvage something. If I cling onto until the bitter end, there’ll be nothing left to save.

I should. But I’m not going too. I’m a coward. I’ve gotten used ti having you there. And though I know it’ll only make the end harder, I’m gonna cling on until the bitter end. And who knows. The cake might turn out alright after all.

Itsjustme