sleeping

Never had I seen such a good natured dog. Our family kept dogs all their lives, so she had a lot to be compared with. Dusty was a small black labrador, with a long tail like a feather duster! She had been hard to keep as a puppy. When I bought her home in the car, she howled continuously, and clambered over the seats, until we reached home. There, she squirmed in my arms until I put her down on the lawn, where she ran wild, and rolled among the may blossoms.

"She's going to be trouble," little Ellie giggled, as we watched from the window.

Ellie, it seemed had been right. Dusty chewed things that weren't suitable for her stomach, so she was often sick. The only time we got peace, was when she leapt on to anything within reach, curled up, and went to sleep.

Dusty grew in to a beautiful dog. She was calm, but perfectly obliged to be cradled like a baby by Meggy, or retrieve golf balls for Jack. Ellie, now fourteen, called her an emo puppy, because she was black and attention seeking! Indeed, if she felt you weren't looking at her, she would paw your hand affectionately. Dusty had her mad moments, but she still slept. Meggy liked to jump up on to the sofa, and Dusty would curl on her knee, whilst Meggy fondled her ears.

Dusty went everywhere with us: to the seaside, the shops, school, the playground; there was no question about it. She felt like a fourth child. However she could not come abroad with us.

"Poor emo puppy," said Ellie, ruffling her fur, "She's going to be left behind, all alone."

A friend took Dusty in to her home for a couple of weeks, whilst we enjoyed a fortnight in sunny Spain. We all went to collect her, anxious that our precious puppy had missed us.

"Has she been crying?" Ellie cooed, waving Dusty's tail.

"Yeah, has she missed us?" Jack piped up.

"Did you feed her?" Meggy said, sticking out her bottom lip indignantly.

"Well no," said my flustered friend, "As a matter of fact, she's just slept."

"All the time?" I asked, incredulous.

"Of course, I have walked her, and fed her," she replied, hurriedly, "But she has been quite content to sleep."

Noone would have thought it, for Dusty was as much apart of our every day lives as family, but she was getting older. One day, Meggy decided to brush her sleek, shiny fur, and discovered grey hairs beneath the glossy black.

"She's turning in to a grey labrador!" Meggy smiled.

At the time, it shocked me when I thought of Dusty as an old dog. And then I shook myself mentally. Of course she was old. We'd had her since Ellie was five hadn't we? That was almost ten years. But she didn't act old. Most old dogs became stiff, deaf or blind, but Dusty remained as lively and yet lazy, as ever.

Dusty began to sleep more and more. This didn't bother the children. Meggy could still sit beside her on the sofa, and Jack could have a peaceful ball game for once. By this time, Ellie's life was crammed full of boyfriends, make up, piercings, and what to tell her mother afterwards! True, she would give Dusty's head the odd pat as she hurried out the door, but she certainly didn't have as much time for her as she used to.

When the children were younger and they had all gone to school, the house was quiet, and I was glad of Dusty's company. She would follow me round the house, poking her nose in to everything: upending rubbish bins and sniffing, cautiously, at bottles of shoe polish. I'd open the back door, and she'd race round the garden, as if she had never seen it before! Then she would come inside, leap on to the sofa, roll over, and go to sleep. With the children still at school, and the husband working, I was alone in the house for most of the day, and I talked to Dusty as I tidied the bedrooms and dusted the shelves. But I noticed she did not follow me as often as she once did. She remained on the sofa, in a ball of black fur, fast asleep. Some days, she would sleep all through the day, and it made me quite worried. Was Dusty getting to the end of her life after all? But the next day, she'd be dashing about, acting as if she was still a puppy! Once, she followed me in to Meggy's bedroom, jumped in to her toy box, and fell asleep. She looked so adorable, nestled amongst all the teddies. I had to take a picture of her.

When the children came home for the holidays, they noticed it too.

"All she does is sleep," Jack complained, bouncing a ball on her head.

"Aww leave her to sleep," Ellie scalded, "She's cute."

"I bet I can wake her up," Meggy said, lifting one of Dusty's velvety ears and blowing in to it.

Immediately, Dusty lifted her head, irritated, and shook her ears.

"See?" Meggy grinned.

Dusty licked her hand gently, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

It was a normal, chaotic Monday morning. Dusty got under everyone's feet, as I shouted down Ellie's arguments about her lurid nail varnish, persuaded Meggy to have some breakfast, and banished Jack's football from the house at the same time!

"I won't have it in the house," I shouted, "You almost smashed my best jug... my wedding present."

"But everyone else wears..."

"Ellie, no! I said no! absolutely not! You can't go to school wearing that, you look disgusting."

"But I don't like cornflakes," Meggy whined.

Then everyone was talking at once, as usual. There was a loud yelp as someone stood on Dusty's tail. And at long last, they were all out the door, stopping only to peck me on the cheek and ruffle Dusty's fur. The house was peaceful once more. Dusty gave me a look of satisfaction, sighed deeply, and curled up for a nap.

"Well I have a busy day today," I said, "I've got lots of shopping to do, so I'll leave you here."

After all, it seemed a shame to wake her up.

I staggered through the front door and dropped my bulging bags in the hallway.

"Anyone home?" I called.

As usual, noone heard me. The ceiling shook as Ellie jumped around to some pop record or another, and the others were playing outside. Not even Dusty had come to greet me. Sure enough, she was sleeping peacefully on the sofa, head resting on the cushion.

After all the shopping was stowed away, I set the kettle to boil, and looked back, with fondness, at Dusty, still sleeping on the sofa. It then occurred to me she was sleeping somewhat stiffly. I moved closer, and stroked her head to reassure myself. Her fur was cold and, as I looked closer, I saw no soft breath lifting and lowering her chest. My heart grew cold; I could not believe it. It is a shock to you, when something that has always been part of your life, something you took for granted, is gone. Her tail was curled underneath her, as it usually was when she slept, and her eyes were closed. There was no pain or fear in them. You could almost believe she was dreaming.

At that moment, the children burst in to the room.

"What's for tea?" Jack demanded.

"Mummy, Mummy, he hit me," Meggy complained.

"Mum..." Ellie stopped as she saw my face. She looked from me to Dusty. Meggy jumped on to the sofa beside her, and lifted her on to her knee. I felt her shudder.

"What's..." Meggy shook Dusty by the scruff of her neck. Jack was staring at her open mouthed. Ellie burst in to tears there and then. I put my arms around her, and we clung together: crying until our mascara ran.

"Why doesn't she wake up?" Meggy asked.

"She's gone to Heaven," I explained, "She can't wake up any more."

Meggy burst in to loud sobs, burying her face in Dusty's fur. Jack had more dignity. He slammed out of the room and pounded up the stairs. I heard his door slam.

"Can we leave her on the sofa forever and ever?" Meggy wept.

"We couldn't really do that," I explained gently.

"Idiot! Imagine what visitors would think if they came in and saw a dead dog on the sofa," Ellie snorted.

"Enough," I said, gently, "We'll get Daddy to help us bury him in the garden."

"I'll find a big stone for the grave," sniffed Jack, who had reappeared in the room.

"And we can plant flowers on it," Ellie suggested.

Daddy took the news dry eyed, but solemnly.

"Keep the kids out the way and I'll dig the grave," he said, lifting the body in to his arms.

I suspected, rightly I think, that he wanted a few moments alone to grieve for Dusty.

The sun was high in the sky, as we trooped outside to say our final goodbyes. We all knelt down on the lawn where Daddy had dug a hole. I had watched as he lowered Dusty in to it and covered her, so that only the tip of her nose was showing.

"Well," said Jack, "Who's going to be the vicar?"

I smiled, despite myself.

"Look, why don't we all say something," said Ellie, impatient in her sadness.

"Ok," I said, "I'll start. Dusty, you were a great companion when everyone else was at school..."

"Or work," Daddy interrupted.

"Shshsh Daddy!" scalded Meggy in a whisper, "Don't interrupt."

"...and work," I added, "Thank you Dusty. I will never forget you."

I laid my hand in the soil, and left a hand print. Then it was Jack's turn.

"You could be annoying when I was playing ball," he said, gruffly, "But you couldn't half catch!"

He made a small handprint next to mine.

"Thank you, Dusty, for being our doggy. You were part of our family," said Daddy, making a handprint on the other side of mine.

"I liked it when you went to sleep," said Meggy, then her lip wobbled and she began to cry.

Ellie put an arm around her.

"I've grown up with you, emo puppy, and I will always love you. Sleep in peace."

Meggy and Ellie made their handprints and Daddy covered Dusty with a fresh blanket of soil.

"Night night," Meggy whispered.

"Sleep tight," Ellie whispered.

"Mind the bug's don't bite," Jack finished, looking anxiously at the soil, perhaps checking for bugs.

A few weeks later, I won a big, black dog in a raffle. It has beautiful brown eyes, and a felt tongue which lolls out of its mouth. Of course, it isn't the real thing, but it lives on our sofa. We always think of Dusty, but we know she is sleeping now.