I walked along the water front, and the world was shades of indigo.
I watched the waves and heard a cough enquire about my attention
"If you were as beautiful as the ocean, I would look at you" I replied, and the coughs footsteps skipped a beat, his voice was the trembling whisper of a gale past a closed door.
"How can you know the extent of my beauty if you never let your eyes taste my appearance?" retorted the cough, once he regained his composure
"No one is as beautiful as the sea, least you claim to be Amphitrite" the waves of the sea reached to lick the sky's belly "Do you claim to Amphitrite?" The cough was silent and our footsteps were cymbals of illumination in the peaceful symphony of twilight.
“My hair is the blue green waves of the torn temperate sea, my skin is the iridescent fish in the morn, my eyes be the ocean’s opacity in the depth of a storm” and I knew he spoke of me
Author notes
Looking for an ending. Can't think of one yet.
Improvements and ending suggestions
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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im confused, i think you shoudve mentioned the characters more, but i like it so far
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As you search for an ending...look here:
Look to CHARACTER...in a short story, ONE MAJOR CHARACTER...ONE MAJOR POV!
Look to CONFLICT...ONE MAJOR CONFLICT which will reside in the major character.
Look to THEME...truth...moral. Bring this to light by way of a final EPIPHANY...RESOLUTION...REALIZATION!
When this happens...and the moment of truth arrives...CURTAIN. There's your ending.
OK? Big secret here...just to show you how nice I am!
GA -
well good job
I like it i will come back and read the ending
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Great imagery! I'll be waiting for the ending! It's really beautiful.
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oh so beautifull, oh k8 you hasve captured something wonderfull here... you will get it soon trust me
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Thanks for the encouragement!
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