Iran- written by Tennille chase
PART ONE
"What do you think the women do when they are done selling their bodies"Bandit asked stepping into the kitchen, almost tripping over his pants. Tory had finished boiling her egg and was taking it out of the saucepan, burning herself as she began to peal of the shell. "What are you on about?" she asked annoyed, sucking on her thumb. It had turned from red raw to a painfull purple color in less than 3 seconds, and to top it all of she wasn't really in the mood for 21 questions. She was already late for her class, and one more day late after this and she could loose her position in the class. Their was only so many times you could call in sick before they took the marks away from your report.
"I'm talking about the women in this magazine I found under your bed". Tory dropped her egg on the floor, she bended over picking it up. "Oh sweet ass baby" Bandit said cracking himself up. "What where you doing in my room, you little twerp" Tory screamed ripping the magazine from his hands, throwing it on the table. "I was cleaning, looking for dirty laundry" Bandit said laughing again, reaching for the magazine. " looks like I found some to".
Tory sighed picking up the magazine. That had been so long ago, her fasination with the same sex. Why had she even kept those magazines, she hardley even looked at them anymore anyway. "So what's your secret Tory, are you a big lesbian" Bandit asked taking a sip of her coffee. "Why do you have to be such a creep Bandit" Tory asked, watching him skull down the rest of her drink down. "Oh baby you love it" Bandit smiled shaking his body close againts Tory's. She pushed him away and laughed " No, I think what I should be asking myself is why the hell I put up with you". "Cause baby you love me, you wanna hold me, you wanna kiss me".
Tory walked away, looking at the clock. "Yeah you just dream on bandit, thanks thats real charming". Bandit strocked his chest, sticking out his tongue. "Bandit you look like a retarded posessed freak". He bowed handing her, her beg. "There you go my lady". She smiled grabbing her keys. "Hay before you go...." . Tory laughed " sure, why not, I mean I don't even need them anymore". Bandit hi-fived her, standing at the door. "Thanks tory, this should keep me entertained for a while.
_____
"Late again Miss Helle" Mr physics said as she tried to quietly sneek into the back of the class room. The whole class looked up to where she was standing. "Err yes Mr physics, yeah my cousin his breakfast, you see he has food..." ," Just take a seat Miss Helle, no one cares about your excuses, your interupting my time and the time of my students, and it is not at all greatly appreciated". Tory nodded "Sorry". She moved across , finding a spare seat.
"Now as we where discussing " What do we interperate from the following quote "If you gaze for to long in the Abyss, the Abyss gazes into you". Mr physics turned, pointing to the board. The class sat in silence. "Come on people, what do we interperate from this quote, use your brains, we all know you posses soem kind of intellegence, otherwise why would you have made it into my class. No hands raised, just pens moved across the pages, scribbling notes. "Anyone" Mr physics asked again. "Alright I will ask at random, okay girl up the back in the fourth row , the one with the red and blue t-shirt, what do you interpretate from this quote?". The class turned to look up the back.
The girl stood up, tossing her hair behind her ears. "Well the definition of an Abyss is an immeasuable depth of chasm, though in some terms it can also mean anything profoud and deep" Mr physics nodded "Yes, please continue". "Well the quotes states If you gaze for to long in the Abyss, the Abyss gazes into you, so this must suggest that to be so consumed by something so deep and profound, it would be only a short amount of time before that deepness or profound ways would consme you, you would get lost in it, and it would get lost in you, and sometimes being so wrapped up in the Abyss can cause you to loose sight of reality and what is really real in emotion and physically and mentally, causing you to sink deeper and deeper into the Abyss". The girl sat down in her seat and stared at Mr physics.
His mouth hung slightly open, his hand leaning on the dusty board. Someone in the front row threw a ball of paper at his head. Knocking him out of his daze. "Yes well thank you Miss ?. "Miss Olando" The girl said looking back down at her desk. "Yes thankyou Miss Olando for that wonderfull interpretation, I think she needs a round of applause people".
The class remained quiet. Tory looked around, looking at the girl. Why wasn't anyone clapping. Mr physics was clapping. Tory put her pen down and started to clap. The girl smiled, as people looked around. Some laughing, most being idiots, the nerds in the corner still jotting notes down. Mr physics stopped clapping and smiled at Tory. she stopped clapping, returning her eyes to the front, hoping her message was sent to Miss Olando.
Author notes
Well this is my new story- hope you all like it- the words Iran covers to things but I will not give it away--- enjoy
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
hmmm
this was a little hard to read due to the fast dialogue and how you didnt use a new line when someone new was talking, but i got the general idea.
nice write, im interested to see how this goes...
xxxx sky -
Awwww, I really like this. I saw a few spelling mistakes, but that is easily fixed if you use the spell checker. This is very well written and I enjoyed reading it, thanks for sharing ^.^
-
I was a little confused in the beginning but it folded out in a very well-written first chapter. The confidence of Miss Olando and her seemingly quick response to the question asked by Mr. Physics left a great impression in my mind. I am off to read more!


-
Good Start!
I agree that the Dialog would be easier to read if it was seperated, but i liked the characters and it seems to be heading in a good direction
-
I love the realness of this, Tory has really captured me, she sounds cool.

-
This is a great beginning. You introduce the characters very well. It is a little confusing that Bandit and Tory act like boyfriend and girlfriend, but they are cousins...I think. And its harder for me to read when the paragraphs are clumped together...you should separate dialogue. Its strange that she wants to throw away the porn cause she's so over being attracted to girls, but as soon as she sees the girl in her class she wants her.
Nice job. I want to read more.

-
-
definitly
I take upon your critism- constructive if you will and will use it to help me- thank you for taking the time to read it- i hope you enjoyed it
-
-
Interesting Start
What is Tory's relationship with Bandit. They seem like they could be lovers. Is Tory going to try to become involved with Miss Olando? You have several typos. It will be interesting to see where this goes.
Andy

-
This was good, you must know alot about Physics for this, if that is all true

This was good, haha for the porno mag beneath the bed..
Excellent work and keep up the great work, will look out for the next installment.
~Lady Madeline.

1 - 9 of 9








