So you want to be a heroine?

***A) Write a how-to book about surviving as a hero in a fantasy world (the Middle Earth, Narnia, Pern kind of places) 1

Tired of manly-men on dragons and little boys with glasses and magic always saving the day? This book is for you, aspiring heroines! From the dark jungle temples of the Amazon to laser gun fights in the Horseshoe Galaxy, here's how to survive while still having great hair. 2

SECTION ONE- A Heroine Supply List
So, no matter where you are in your quest, every hero and heroine (and sheroes, if you roll like that) needs some basic supplies.
1. A weapon
Now, every heroine has skills, abilities, intellect or magic that sets her apart, but must also have some kind of device or channel that lets her fight or defend herself. Swords, bows, wands, pistols and tossing daggers are perennial favorites. Avoid chains, poisons, traps, and other stealth weapons if you can, as these are often the weapons of hellions and villainesses. Poison especially will not win you over with the local population as a role model. Make sure your weapon is either famous, an heirloom, or specially made. No respectable heroine uses a hand-me down weapon unless she A- had no other choice or B- stole it from a man to show him who’s boss.
Heroines are allowed to occasionally set traps and use grenades, but use sparingly. Also, make sure that the color of your laser weapon (if you choose one) is not the same color as the lasers of your opposition.3

2. A pet or sidekick
Men can fall into either category. Now, while a true heroine is never totally dependent on either a pet or a sidekick, having one helps to ease loneliness and fatigue. Make sure that you never get too attached or reveal too much to anything that speaks, as it could be persuaded or tortured into telling the enemy about you. If you pick to have a sidekick, we recommend either shy, intellectual young men; tall, brawny, dumb men; sweet supportive female friends (often priestesses or mages of some sort); or some sort of jester/entertainer. Nothing causes a diversion like a comedian, especially satyrs.
If you choose to take a pet with you on your adventures, we recommend either something used for strength or something used for speed. Try to avoid stealth animals like snakes, bugs, small birds and monkeys, as they give you a bad image. Avoid animals that are climate-restricted like polar bears, dolphins or Wookies. Make sure that your animal of choice has some way of communicating with you or being trained. Strength animals should not be too large, try big cats like tigers or panthers, bulls or oxen, wolves, dogs, dragons or asteroid-bears. For speed animals, nothing says traditional heroine like a fast horse or small dragon, but we also suggest phoenixes, deer, hawks, owls (not the postal kind), dogs or cats, and chimeras (if you can come by one). Take note of your opposition’s pet or sidekick, it should be equal to yours. If it is stronger than your pet or sidekick, then make sure you have one that is smarter.
Above all, do not get too attached, but you are allowed one big cry scene where you swear revenge if something should happen to your beloved companion.4

3. Armor
While you don’t need the whole plate-armor/chain mail trollop that our male counterparts are so fond of, you can’t just run into battle naked, even in the best of science-fiction. Female armor has many different looks and tons of fabulous designs to choose from, so never worry that you’ll show up in a classy palace and look exactly like the foreign embassy’s princess. Some traditional favorites have been listed for your convenience.
- The run away maiden: This look is usually comprised of a female who starts out with a dress of some sort, often plain, which is worn until it is very tattered and she switches into more male-type clothing, such as breeches or pants. A dagger, sword, or wand is often worn with the ensemble, making sure that some sort of dagger (enchanted or otherwise) is kept in a boot. Leather boots or home made ones will suffice. Also, depending on the situation and location, a revealing white blouse can do you a lot of good in finding the best inn room or teasing your way into a fortified city.
- The temptress: black, navy, crimson and dark brown work best here. Heroines who want to pull off the temptress look should probably be a little busty, or else all the leather and pelts will just slide around. In any design or cut, temptresses should try to aim for tightness, revealing qualities, and mystery. A cape is a good addition to the temptress look, as well as boots, masks, and even gauntlets or gloves. Heroines in this look must try very hard to not look evil, so having a small religious amulet or some kind of family heirloom necklace can really pull off the outfit.
REMEMBER! A good temptress-heroine does not wear hats. That’s just the rule.
- The (high) priestess: white, gold, silver. Must haves: long hair, gold circlets and maybe a diadem or two. Also similar to the princess and she-elf look, although the latter two are flashier, including colorful clothes, more jewels, and a richer look, especially in silks and velvet. The low priestess look consists of rough garments and a rope around the waist. If you choose this look, then never leave home without your religious amulet or charm; people will think you're just poor.
- The Robin Hood: Never let anyone call you a cross-dresser, and be ready to put a lot of work into this ensemble. Male-style clothes, shorn hair, and you can really pull it off with a nice jaunty walk. We recommend a green or earth-toned jerkin by London Forest Clothing and a pair of bright leggings. The best part about this look is that you don’t need to shave.
- Futuristic Heroine: this look does not in any way have to be the plastic armor stuff of cheesy comic books. A futuristic style can be achieved by always wearing the most advanced fabrics, including memory-fabrics, blend/chameleon-fabrics, and fabrics made of carbon fiber or New Age silks. Whether you go with a traditional hard armor look or a softer, more flowy look, make sure that your outfit does not restrict movement and isn’t flammable. Avoid the buns on the side of the head hairstyle, that look is taken.
- The mistress of magic look: cape required. No witch or magician worth her salt should attempt this look without an assortment of pouches, amulets, a wand, staff, or cloak. There are many variants of this look- tribal (feathers, furs, pouches, staff; very primitive) schoolgirl (frizzy hair, house colors) good witch (see priestess look, add wand) and tons of local variants, like the Celtic witch, complete with blue tattoos.
- The underground: new age, futuristic, or 80s grunge. Look dirty, look hot, rock old clothes. Jeans are essential to running around sewers trying to fan the flames of revolution, and a good messenger bag is often a must-have. Small weapons are best, we recommend a good handgun and concealed holster.5

4. A Cause
What is a heroine without a cause? No one can determine your cause for you, but you can’t just pick one at random. There are no renegade heroines. When something hurts you enough, or inspires you enough, or scares you enough, or fights you enough, you will rise up and find your call. Don’t worry if you feel like you’re destined to be great but have no cause just yet. It will come in time.