I was tired, tired of walking, tired of traveling and just plain out tired of people. I had been traveling with my Senior class across the Atlantic Ocean to Germany. We had flown to Germany two weeks ago and nearly walked everywhere we went and my feet were just killing me, they were on fire it felt like!
The worst part about this whole trip was I was paired up with my enemy. We used to be best friends but then something happened - I don't even know what, but for some reason she hated me. Her name was Jane Doe and she had a major attitude and was just a bitch to everyone. I now was dealing with this bitch for the last two weeks, staying in the same room together and having to buddy up when we go out to museums and such.
Now, we were finally going home. I started boarding the Delta flight 228 and found my seat. I took off my backpack and put it in the overhead. I took my seat and put on my seat belt. I was about to listen to my ipod when I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the Bitch had sat next to me.
"Oh great!" I thought. "Now I have to deal with her even more." I sighed and turned the volume all the way up.
I felt a constant tapping on my shoulder. I took out the earphones and turned my head to the left.
"You're going to have to turn that off!" The Bitch said in her snotty voice.
"God she thinks she knows everything!" I said to myself. I simply replied, "Nah really?" I glared at her and then went back to my music. I did however, turn it off once the plane started moving onto the tarmac. The flight attendant started talking in German about the exits on the plane and what to do if you needed to use your life-vest.
The plane was cleared to take-off about ten minutes later. After taking on ten thousand feet I turned back on the ipod and started listening to Gwen Stefani's The Sweet Escape. I slowly drifted to sleep.
I was jolted awake by the sudden drop in altitude. I heard a few students scream as we dropped again. I gripped the armrests and shut my eyes tight.
The pilot made an announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm we are-" He was cut off as we continued to drop even further and it seemed like we would never stopped. But then it did - right into the ocean!
When the plane hit the ocean it cracked the side of the plane and water started gushing in. I quickly unbuckled my seat and tried to get out. I made it to the surface by squeezing through the hole in the plane. I looked around to see anyone else - but no one was there. As I looked I saw what looked like land a ways away. I knew it was my only chance to live was to swim to it, I started slowly toward the island.
It took me a good hour or so to finally reach the small island. I was deathly tired, I probably wouldn't if I had not found the Bitch and was half swimming, half dragging her little - or fat I should say, ass with me. Crawling up the sand dune, I let go of her. She started to cough up water.
Author notes
This is not done yet for Tay's contest.
A contest entry
- If you were stranded on a deserted island... by Taylor Renee.
225 points, ended August 31, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Hah. I'm just realizing how much I love this. It's written great, I love the idea, too! Hah, I love it. I need more. MORE, DARN IT!
Hah. I'm really really hyper. You should see me. I'm like rocking back in forth. Hahahaha.
Okay, I'll spare you from me. Hah! Very nice entry, thanks so much for entering and good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxo
Tay
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lol! I started laughing as soon as I saw this.
I am gonna write more but right now school is nuts and and I have to finish another story for another contest But there will be more!
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Great start
You have made a great start, would like to read more, let me know when you add more to this..
like land a ways away. (like land far away?)
Sarahhitch
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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I will let you know.
lol yes as in far away.
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Oh I am so so happy you like it!
Your comment is one of the best I've ever gotten. I am continueing it at some point, not sure when yet.
I'll keep you posted.
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Well, no matter if it's done or not, I think your beginning (and possibly middle) are awesome. You have thought and planned this out well, I actually don't have anything bad to say about it except for the fact that perhaps you shouldn't swear so much. But if you need to, just ignore that comment. Lol.
Anyways, I think you should really continue, and, obviously you will, but your beginning was superb and your grammar made everything fit together like a puzzle.
I also like that the bitch is going to be with him. LOL Can't wait to see how she annoys him!
Good job!
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, characters: 4.
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Thanks you guys! I'm going to continue it in a bit
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This was cool, I'm interested to know what happens next. I really liked this, let me know when it's finished!
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Wow.
Great beginning, I love how it's going.
I'm guessing the only other person that's gonna make it to the island is the bitch?
Maybe someone else too?
But the bitch is definately gonna be there.
I love this.
Can't wait to read more!!!
Thank you so much for entering my contest, great work and good luck!
xoxo
Tay
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