"Not now."
"But, Honey, I love you."
"Not now!"
"Please, Darling."
"No. Take you hands off me!"
"What's wrong, Lambypie?"
"Don't touch me!"
"But, Baby, I really need you!"
"Oh go get a magazine and entertain yourself, you don't need me!"
"What's got into you, Lambsy?"
"Don't call me that! All you do is work, eat, watch television and sleep. Then whenever the mood hits you, you want me. You expect me to drop everything and go jump into bed with you. Well, not anymore. I've had it!"
"What do you mean?"
"I do all the chores! I cook, I clean, I do the laundry, I wash your dirty underwear, and all you do when you get home is take it easy. I work, too. I'm just a slave and the way you use me for sex well, well, I feel dirty!"
"But, Honey."
"Don't 'But Honey,' me! I'm tired of it! Just once you could give me a gift, you could take me to a movie, or out to eat. We used to do things together!"
"We could go to a movie tomorrow."
"It doesn't mean much if I have to beg you to go."
"I didn't know."
"You just don't think! If you're happy that's all that matters to you. I am just something to be used, ignored or forgotten. I feel absolutely awful!"
"Now Honey, you're just upset. Has something been troubling you at work?"
"No, that won't work! Don't you try to blame it on something else. The problem is you! You! YOU!"
"Honey...."
"I don't want to hear your excuses. I am thinking about a divorce."
"Divorce!?"
"Yes, a divorce."
"Now, it can't be that serious."
"There you go again! making light of everything I say. I am not going to put up with it. No. I think it is hopeless. I don't know how it came to this, but I feel it is just too late."
"I can change."
"That's just it. You have changed and you have changed for the worst! You were so loving and attentive when we first started dating, you really had me fooled. I didn't know that all you wanted was a housekeeper, cook, and a sex slave. With work, commuting, housework, and cooking I have only two or three hours a day for myself. I'd share them with you, but all we ever do is watch television. You just sit there glued to the tube and drink Cokes and beer!"
"I see your point and you are right, I've been neglecting you. I've been taking you for granted."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going upstairs to change. We're going out to eat. How's Chinese sound?"
"Chinese?"
"Yes, isn't that your favorite?"
"This isn't going to help."
"Maybe not, but if we get a divorce the lawyers will probably take everything!"
"Stop kidding around."
"It's good to see you can still laugh."
"This still isn't going to help."
"All I can do is try. Now get ready. We're going dancing after dinner."
"How was the meal?"
"I always love the sesame chicken and egg rolls."
"I'm glad."
"You're still a great dancer and you were the loveliest woman there."
"You're not bad yourself."
"Have you enjoyed the evening?"
"Yes, but that doesn't change the way I feel. It is too little and too late."
"I understand that. You were making people jealous on the dance floor. They all would have liked to have danced with you."
"I'm still not going to have sex with you."
"That's all right. All I ask is that you give us some time. I love you and I intend to prove it to you."
"I don't know if I love you anymore."
"Well, give it some time. Just a little time. If it doesn't get better, we can always separate later."
"Okay. We'll see how it goes, but one night doesn't make up for years of being taken for granted."
"No, but I intend to make worshipping you a habit."
"Oh, don't say that!"
"I mean it."
"DAMN YOU!!!"
"It's all right, Honey, don't cry. Things will be better. I promise."
Part Two
"I'm sorry, I just can't take it anymore. I need to be on my own for a while."
"But I thought things were getting better. For heaven's sake, we made love last night!"
"I know and part of me was glad that we did."
"You acted as though you enjoyed it. It was the best sex we've had in years!"
"I know, but I still feel dirty. I feel like your personal slut!"
"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to find myself an apartment and stay there for a while."
"Will you be coming back?"
"Honey, I really don't think so. I just don't feel good about myself anymore. It's not you. You have been very thoughtful and loving, but I still feel like a sex object. I want to be a whole person."
"I am not going to give up that easily. I've invested too much."
"You're free, honey. Find someone else who makes you happy."
"I'm happy with you, Darling!"
"I know, but I don't think I can ever feel complete living here."
"Well if you must leave, you must."
"I must."
"I love you."
"I know."
"How are you getting along?"
"Why, I am doing well, thank you."
"I heard a rumor that you and your wife separated a couple of months ago."
"Yes. I'm hoping she'll come back."
"Oh!"
"Is something wrong?"
"I was going to ask if you'd join me to a movie or something?"
"Oh, I don't know."
"Well, I know I am pretty young, but I can be really good company."
"It's not your age, it's just that I consider myself still married."
"Well, if I promise not to seduce you?"
"Somehow I don't think I can trust you."
"I promise I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do. Promise. We can just have fun doing things together until you work things out with your wife."
"Well, that's not really fair to you."
"There's no reason we can't be just friends."
"How's everything going?"
"Really well, thanks."
"How's the decorating coming, have you got your apartment the way you want, yet?"
"Yes, it's lovely. I went with cyan and beige, I think you'd love it. Would you like to come and see it?"
"When's a good time?"
"How about tomorrow afternoon?"
"Okay, tomorrow it is."
"It looks wonderful! I really like the blues and browns."
"The furniture and drapes are really cyan."
"You know I am bad with colors, but I know what I like and I really like this. You have done a marvelous job here."
"Thanks. What have you been doing with yourself?"
"I've been going to movies, eating out and dancing."
"Have you got a girl?"
"Well, not exactly. I have a young woman friend, but we're just friends."
"She wants more?"
"Yes, I think she would be open to it."
"I think you should go ahead, you deserve some satisfaction. You're a healthy man."
"But it's you I want."
"I know."
"I miss you like I never knew I could, please come home."
"I can't, at least, not yet."
"Darling, you were wonderful!"
"Was I?"
"It's so much better with a mature and experienced man. You have much more control than the two men I'd slept with. Was I okay? Is there something wrong?"
"No, no, you were fantastic, but I couldn't help thinking of my wife. I felt like I was cheating on her."
"Well, she gave you her blessing and she's left you, that should help you feel free."
"I know, but it doesn't. This may be all wrong, because I still want her back. It's not fair to you. What if she comes back?"
"I'm going to win your heart from her."
"I don't know if you can."
"Hello. Can I help you?"
"Is my husband here?"
"Oh, you are his wife."
"Is he home?"
"No, he went to the store for some milk."
"Are you living with him. Tell me the truth."
"Yes, I am."
"For how long."
"I moved in two days ago."
"You're really a pretty young thing. What, about 20?"
"21, last month."
"That makes him fifteen years older than you and you ten years younger than me."
"So?"
"I'm just thinking out loud."
"But you left him, you can't come back now!"
"You love him?"
"Very much!"
"I've always loved him."
"Then why did you leave?"
"I had to leave. Like they say, I had to find myself."
"Did you do it? Did you find yourself?"
"I believe I have."
"You just can't come back, now!"
"You're really a very nice looking young woman, you could be a model. You are a true blonde, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"Don't cry, I won't try to get him back."
"But he still loves you!"
"That's all right, don't tell him I was here."
"I have to."
"Why?"
"Because I love him too much to lie to him."
"It wouldn't be a lie, just don't say anything."
"It would be like betraying him."
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
Part three
"Sweety, give your old man a kiss.... Is everything okay?"
"Ah, I guess so."
"What's troubling you? Have you been crying?"
"Oh, it's okay. Your wife stopped by."
"Really! Did she say what she wanted?'
"I think she was hoping to spend some time with you."
"What makes you think that?"
"It's just a feeling."
"What did she say?"
"Not much really. Why don't you call her?"
"You don't mind?"
"No, I want us to keep everything out in the open."
"Alright, I'll give her a call."
"Hi honey, how are you?"
"Nice of you to call. I'm well."
"I understand you came by while I was out."
"So she told you. I told her not to."
"Oh, well yeah, she told me you were here. What was it you were wanting...? Are you there...?"
"Yes, I was just thinking. She's a beautiful young girl. Do you love her?"
"Yes, but I love both of you?"
"Is she listening?"
"Yes, we are both on the sofa. Why'd you come by?"
"Well, I just wanted to talk."
"About?"
"I didn't know she had moved in."
"Well now you know. What did you want, honey?"
"Oh I don't know what I want. I didn't realize that you and the girl were that serious. Also, I can't get you out of my system."
"Well, we have been married ten years."
"Yes, a third of my life I've spent with you."
"Well, she and I are living together now, so I guess that is that."
"Yes, I guess it is settled. I am really doing pretty well and I feel so much better about myself. Don't concern yourself with me. You and she should be happy together. I mean that I think it's a good thing."
"I'm glad you feel that way."
"It's for the best, I know. I'll probably find someone myself soon."
"I'm sure you will, if you want to."
"Okay, thanks for calling."
"You're welcome. If you need anything, give me a call. Love you."
"I will. Love you too."
"Bye."
"Bye."
"You still want her back, don't you?"
"I think it is over between me and her, Sweety. There's no going back. People change and she and I have changed."
"Do you love me?"
"Sweety, I love you."
"What if you could have both of us?"
"Both of you?"
"Yes, what if you could have your wife and me?"
"That seems improbable."
"Seriously, if you could have both of us, would you like that?"
"What are you suggesting?"
"Well, we both love you and you love both of us. I am willing to share you rather than lose you and she would probably like to have you back."
"It seems a little crazy. Do you really want to share me with her? What makes you think she'd like the idea?"
"We both want you to be happy."
"And I want both of you to be happy."
"I think it might work out well."
"I think you may be slightly insane. I'm not sure I'll ever understand either of you."
"So the idea appeals to you?"
"Yes, Love, it does."
"I told you that she'd like the idea."
"It surprises me, Sweety, but you were right."
"I'll keep the apartment for times when I feel that I have to get away. I'll feel more independent that way."
"We're going to make you feel like a king."
"I think this may be madness, but if you two are sure about this, then I guess we'll give it a go."
"We're sure."
"I'm positive."
"Well, which of you gets me first?"
"I think we'll both take you at once, right Blondie?"
"Right."
"Oh my God!"
A contest entry
- Let's Talk by AllOuta.
450 points, ended February 4, 6 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - show me you have skills by Amb0r.
100 points, ended May 18, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - SW Oscars 2008 - Best Romance Story by SW Oscars Team.
400 points, ended September 6, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 63 of 63
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Not my kind of story at all and i probably would have gotten out of it to find another of yours but i was very intrigued by the fact that it was only diologue. I liked it alot
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Thanks Scriptor
That was the challenge of this story, to write it in dialogue only. It started with a part that I wrote for a contest. I then wrote two additional part and it became what you read.
I hope you enjoyed it some. Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding.
Andy
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I agree with Naila. I think it's hard to write a story with only dialogue; you did well. 
I think it is pretty comical, as well as romance.
Pretty original, too.
You did a wonderful job!
Great work, and congrads on being nominated.
Best of luck!
xoxo
-♥-
Tay
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Thanks Tay
I was surprised by the nomination, especially for romance.
I'm very glad that you like this story. I've no doubt that it will be different from the other entries. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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For some reason, I found this more funny than romantic, though the romance is still present.
You did a great job describing everything with just dialogue, a feat that, at least for me, isn't very easy to perform.
Great job and good luck!
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Thank You
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
This was initially written for a contest wanting dialogue only. Thus part one came about. Part two and three were the result of readers wanting more to the story. I almost wrote an alternative ending, but I decided to stay with the one I'd written. It was a fun challenge to write a story in just dialogue while at the same time not using names.
Andy
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A little too close to the bone
... for me just now to appreciate its finer points (!!?!!!) but you've got a super ear for dialogue, just rolls off the page.
I did get a little bogged down in the action about 2/3 of the way through.. but it didn't stop me reading.
Altogether:
Nice one.
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Thank You
Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. The main thing about this story is that it began as a contest challenge to write a story using only dialogue. After that, readers wanted it expanded, so I continued the story.
Glad you made it to the end.
Andy
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OMG! This was great! I almost felt like crying! your good at writing!
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Thank You
I'm very glad that you like this story. Did it seem confusing in parts? Did you like the ending?
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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Nicely done story. It took me a while to realize that I was reading entirely in dialogue. It was very easy to follow. Of course, "Lambypie" seems a bit ridiculous in the end since her initial complaint was feeling "dirty" and she ended up being willing to share. That gave the story a bit of a surprising twist in the end.
Thsnks for enterring and best of luck in the contest
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I hope you like this story. It was a challenge to try to write a story that was strictly dialogue. The ending is probably a bit unrealistic, but I wanted to do something different.
I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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very interesting. It was a little hard to follow after the breaks, but only for a line or two. it is really interesting to me how well you can get to know a character from dialog and this really shows that.
well done.
the ending kinda made me go "huh?! wouldn't that make her feel more like a sex slave?" but after reading your comments below and discovering it was an experiment I can understand perhaps it was just a means of drawing it to a close. the dialog between three people could go on forever. -
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. The main reason for the ending to have gone the way it went was an effort to avoid the traditional types of endings this story could have had.
Writing a story using just dialog was a challenge too hard to resist. I hope you like it.
I also hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy -
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again (because i'm for-real) well done
thanks, and of course I commented. I don't appreciate when people can't be bothered to comment on my stuff, why would I not comment on yours?
and if avoiding the traditional was your goal--well played. it was enjoyable and certainly not traditional.
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This was interesting. I have never read a story like it actually. Strange that i felt in the environments and emotional ties when there was only dialogue. Very well written and expressed. Enjoyed all the way through!
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Thanks Durian
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I'm glad you like this story. I had hoped you would think it was well written. I'm glad you enjoyed your contest. You seem to be becoming addicted to them.
Andy
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Good job Daddy and great job on the honorable mention! It must have been hard to write as a woman, cause you're a Daddy and not a Mommy. Yay Daddy!
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Hi Rosita!!
How are you? Your daddy should visit you more often. Shame on me. Thanks for stopping by. Do I write women well? You would have a better notion of that, probably, than I do. I hope you enjoyed this play with dialogue. It was just a test to see if I could.
Andy
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Mmmmm, it was okay. Kind of cliche though. sorry. anyways, thanks for writing and enterying.
:] KEEP.WRITING.
-Melli<33 -
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Hmm.
Most who have read this, if anything, say that the ending is rather unrealistic, but not cliche. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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ummmm that was pretty funny. the just talking was a nice touch to the whole... i don't know, confusion of things. it was confusing but i think it was sorta better that way. nice write
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Thanks
Thanks again for reading and commenting. This story was a challenge, to write a story entirely in dialogue. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this story. Thanks for stopping by.
Andy
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hahahaha!
holy crap, this is the most ridiculously funny thing i've read in a while.
at times i couldn't figure out who was talking, like it was just one voice, but it actually had a nice affect, adding to the confusion if you will.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I'm glad you found it so amusing, I think; though I was not really attempting comedy. What I was trying to do was to tell the story strictly through dialogue. Sorry if I lost you in places. The decision to involve a third character makes it a bit trickier.
Andy
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This was awsome! u sure youre not a woman. you've written us so well lol. great job!
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Thanks
A lot of women have felt that the ending to this story was unrealistic
. No, I'm not a woman I'm very pleased that you like this story.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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Wow! So glad I read all of this now that was a shocking ending and a very interesting read at that. I never had read a story with only dialog , but I only found it hard to keep up with near the end when they all three was talking. It was a very cool way of doing a story and certainly had to been difficult. The ending although very unrealistic was definitely unexpected to. A good twist there
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Thanks
I'm so pleased that you decided to read this story. The ending doesn't go over well with everybody, but I wanted it to be different. It is probably unrealistic, but it makes a good twist. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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Fantastic! Great dialog, and right up till the end you could keep it all clear. I would suggest naming the characters so that the reader can have a clear definition over who is who.
Other than that, I really liked it! The plot was original and intriguing. -
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Thanks
I'm glad you like this story. It seemed perfect for your contest.
I purposely decided not to name the characters because I wanted to try write the story without depending on names. It was a fun story to write. It was a challenge to write a story with only dialogue.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Pure dialogues isn't usually what I like to read... but this story drew me in. You did well with it.
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Thank Ruth
You don't really like pure dialogue. I'm glad this story drew you in. I found it a challenge to write and a lot of fun. Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding.
Andy
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WOW! all dialogue amazing work. You had me from the get go, I thought I'd only skim through it cause it was so long but you kept me hooked. the ending stopped abruptly and I'm wondering what is going to happen.
I will point out that i did minimize SW for a few minutes, and although I found my place it was a bit hard to remember who was talking.
Great work Andy.. I should show this my Father Santa Claus, maybe he'll make your mercedes more spectacular than it already is lol. - Santa's Daughter -
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Thanks, Miss Claus
I'm very pleased that you like this story. That was the challenge, to write a story using strictly dialogue. I decided to further complicate it by adding a third person. There are a couple of places where it is a little foggy about who is speaking. It was really fun to write. I like to challenge myself sometimes. I have another story that I'm working on now that is a challenge. I intend to finish the second part of it, today.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Andy
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Well....
not exactly my cup of tea, but for what it was, I thought it was pretty good. the end seemed a little bit, hard to believe, but other than that it was good. thanks for entering and good luck! -
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Oops!
I thought perhaps since you wanted a rocky romance and good dialogue that this story might do the trick. I realize the ending is unlikely, but I didn't want it to be predictable. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Well, a story comprised of only dialogue...Wouldn't that be a play? Jeez man. I read this because of the 'romance' category, because my wife wants to write a romance and I told her I'd start it for her. A little research, you see...
Anyway, this was good. It seems absurdly long to be only dialogue, but that's probably just me. I liked it a lot and wish I had something worthwhile to say, but when I read something that's well written and thought out, I just can't think of anything. Except, maybe, this is good. Or perhaps, I liked this...I don't know. I'm just going to stop talking. -
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Thanks
This story, part one, originated because of a contest asking for all dialogue or no dialog. I felt that all dialogue was the greater challenge, so I took it on. I didn't even place Anyway, I had such a good time with it, I wrote two additional parts. It still hasn't won a contest, but I feel it is one of my best works. The ending is not really realistic, but it is fun.
I think it is wonderful that you and your wife are writing a romance together. I have written a few, but it is not really my area of expertise.
I'm very pleased that you like this. Thanks very much for reading and commenting. If I can help with your writing project, let me know.
Andy
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The famous colors!
lol.
I liked this entry, but the ending, like Frodofan said, was a bit unrealistic. To me, it didn't fit as well as it could have. If he had ended up with ONE woman (either one really), the story would basicly be perfect.
Also, it was written a bit differently, but it was really good. You could tell who was talking, and that's the main thing.
Thanks for entering, Andy, and goodluck. -
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Thanks Andrew
Frodofan was quite pissed with the ending, actually. I had thought to write another ending, but this one is less expected. If he had chosen either woman, it would have been the usual course of things. The wife needed space and got her own apartment, then she found herself missing her husband. She decided to try to reconcile, and discovered he had a new live in lady. So, she decides to keep her apartment and share her husband. Male fantasy, perhaps. Anyway, that is the reasoning of the third part of the story. The challenge here was to convey it all in dialogue alone.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Nice job Andy!
Talk about a relationship! Sounds like these two are quite the pair. I especially enjoyed the ending in this. Nice read from start to finish. THANKS again for presenting a story that certainly caught my attention!! -
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You're Very Welcome!
I'm so pleased that you like my story and especially its ending. I've been getting many mixed reviews about the ending. Did you like that it was all dialogue?
Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting. I appreciate it.
Andy
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Wonderful
Amazing - what a challenge you set yourself, and what a wonderful delivery too. You chose a difficult concept and executed it perfectly. You imbue your speakers with character and emotion through the excellent dialogue. My only negative is that the storyline is a little light. Something of a male fantasy. I reckon it could continue with the young blonde being part of the wife's elaborate plot to win a preferential divorce settlement, but what the heck, that's really missing the point.
Top marks for creativity, language and dialogue, above average characters, average plot.
Congratulations. I'll be recommending this to anyone who suffers from too little dialogue or "show, don't tell" problems.
[Edit] I just read the other comments here and wanted to say that I had no difficulty in following the switch in speakers since the extra paragraph spacing was clear enough for me. But then, you may have edited it since their feedback.
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Thanks
Thank you very much. A very good comment. I don't do so well with comments.
I could have ended it at part two, but I felt that it was too predictable. The wife just leave him, or leaving it up in the air. Yes, I was accused of the male fantasy thing and I plead guilty. Bad habit.
I really haven't done much editing other than typos.
What are your goals as a writer?
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy -
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My goals as a writer
Good question. I've no idea. My job has over-constrained me for over a year, and my creative juices started to seep out in writing this summer.
I guess I write primarily to entertain. I enjoy creative and interesting use of language.
Ideally, like so many, I'd like to be published one day, and make some money. That would be so nice. But, it's so early in my creative writing experience that I haven't really got any plans. For the moment, I'm simply flexing my writing muscles. -
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Well,
Barking Dog was very good and could find a publisher, I think. There is an online source for a couple of thousand publishers and agents, Writer's Market. It is the first link on this page:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Writer%27s+Market&btnG=Google+Search
It is filled with information about publishing, and lists what publishers and agent want, require, pay, etc. I believe they offer a thirty day free trial, now. It costs and average of $2 - 4 per month depending on the subscription. It is the best source I have seen, other than a friend in the industry.
Andy
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< Thanks
I wanted to do something different for the ending, so I had the wife come back and share him with the new woman. The idea there was that everything was no longer up to the wife, and she would probably keep her apartment. Anyway, hence the title. This was a challenge to write, but a lot of fun.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. It was very nice of you and I appreciate it.
Andy -
Hmmm... I don't know about this story. I liked it, but then at the ending when the women decide to share him..I guess I found a sense of a "Plural" relationship. I don't really enjoy that the man loved both women and agreed to share him.
I think it gives the man too much control, I mean, here in the beginning his wife was complaining because he treated her like a sex slave and then in the end they both end up "Doing " him. I just don't think the story matched.
I applaud you handsomely for the story itself, it's really hard to write a story that is just strictly dialog. Especially when you have more than two characters. : )
Sometimes it was a little confusing deciphering who is who, then you get used to the mode of the dialog. He speaks first, then she speaks second, or vice a versa.
Well Done!
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Thanks
I really like this story because it is all dialogue. It was written in three parts, each a story of itself. The response to the ending is about 50/50. I wanted to do something unconventional. I feel the title describes the story well. Frodofan wanted to shoot me for the ending. I've thought about writing another ending, but so far I've stuck with this one. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding this story. I hope you like it. I also hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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You never fail to deliver. Your works all hold the same great standard as the one before, if not better as the one before it...if that is even possible.
This story definiatly suits its title. I loved the twist at the end. It was a great story.
Keep up the great work
Emma
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Thanks Emma
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it. This story was a challenge in that it was all dialogue. I've been criticized for the ending. I had planned to write an alternate ending, but decided the reader can imagine one if they like. I'm glad that you like this story.
Andy
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If you're going to switch characters, letting us know there's a third person would make that easier. even if it's just at the beginning of the scene switch.
"Yes, but I love both of you?"
this doesn't seem like a question to me.
People change and she and I have changed.
putting a comma instead of "and" would make it flow better.
People change, she and I have changed.
I like the way you worked the dialogue. Improbable situation but hilarious none the less. Enjoyable reading. Well done. Thanks for entering this in my contest and good luck. -
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Thanks Christina
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. Also thanks for the suggestions and the correction. I tried to introduce the third person with dialogue as the object of the piece was to write it composed of only dialogue. I realize for a moment it is confusing, but I hope that the reader catches on. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this. This is my best effort in dialogue.
Andy
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LOL nice work, the ending is ... well a twist lol this wasa really gud read, i liked the way u set it out. keep up the gud writing.. thanks for enetring and good luck.
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I really appreciate it. This was kind of an experiment in dialogue. I wanted to write an entire story in dialogue alone. I'm glad you like it. I hope you have many good entries and a lot of fun.
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HEHE ANOTHER WORK OF GENIUS FROM MY FAV MAN ANDY
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting and all the applause. I greatly appreciate it. Genius and favorite man, you could make me blush. However, it is nice of you. How's the story on Iran coming?
Andy
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I think you should leave it as it is! I thought it was a great, unexpected and almost comical ending! It is also something that happens more often than people would probably think! I know a 'trio' who live on the same road as me, and I live in a tiny, quiet sea side town!
I really enjoyed this, especially as I had been wondering what would happen since I read the first part, and you decided to continue it!
We are all entitled to write something a bit of the wall sometimes, and I love the ending you have given this piece! Great job!
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Thanks Becca
Thanks for reading, commenting and all the applause. It's greatly appreciated. I promised frodofan an alternate ending, so I am going to give her one, but I'll post it as another story. It will require a different title. I thought it was a good ending, but frodofan's assessment was pretty accurate. She was also pissed. lol.
It has been fun writing this story.
Andy
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Ok... the title definently fits this.
I think this is highly unrealistic. No two woman would agree to do this in such a situation. Definently written to please men I think.
Kind of revolting actually. It reminded me of so many stupid men I've met.
So she left him in the beginning because she felt like a sex slave and now she basically is one with ANOTHER lady? Idiotic. -
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So you suggest I change the ending to appeal to women?
I will have to agree with your analysis. You pretty much hit it on the nail. I am one of the stupid men, like Solomon, who like to have as many women as possible. Oh well, we can all fantasize. I guess I could write this with an alternate ending. Would you prefer that his wife come back to him, or not?
Andy
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