"Not now."1
"But, Honey, I love you."2
"Not now!"3
"Please, Darling."4
"No. Take your hands off me!"5
"What's wrong, Lambypie?"6
"Don't touch me!"7
"But, Baby, I really need you!"8
"Oh go get a magazine and entertain yourself, you don't need me!"9
"What's got into you, Lambsy?"10
"Don't call me that! All you do is work, eat, watch television and sleep. Then whenever the mood hits you, you want me. You expect me to drop everything and go jump into bed with you. Well, not anymore. I've had it!"11
"What do you mean?"12
"I do all the chores! I cook, I clean, I do the laundry, I wash your dirty underwear, and all you do when you get home is take it easy. I work, too. I'm just a slave and the way you use me for sex well, well, I feel dirty!"13
"But, Honey."14
"Don't 'But Honey,' me! I'm tired of it! Just once you could give me a gift, you could take me to a movie, or out to eat. We used to do things together!"15
"We could go to a movie tomorrow."16
"It doesn't mean much if I have to beg you to go."17
"I didn't know."18
"You just don't think! If you're happy that's all that matters to you. I am just something to be used, ignored or forgotten. I feel absolutely awful!"19
"Now Honey, you're just upset. Has something been troubling you at work?"20
"No, that won't work! Don't you try to blame it on something else. The problem is you! You! YOU!"21
"Honey...."22
"I don't want to hear your excuses. I am thinking about a divorce."23
"Divorce!?"24
"Yes, a divorce."25
"Now, it can't be that serious."26
"There you go again! Making light of everything I say. I am not going to put up with it. No. I think it is hopeless. I don't know how it came to this, but I feel it is just too late."27
"I can change."28
"That's just it. You have changed and you have changed for the worst! You were so loving and attentive when we first started dating, you really had me fooled. I didn't know that all you wanted was a housekeeper, cook, and a sex slave. With work, commuting, housework, and cooking I have only two or three hours a day for myself. I'd share them with you, but all we ever do is watch television. You just sit there glued to the tube and drink Cokes and beer!"29
"I see your point and you are right, I've been neglecting you. I've been taking you for granted."30
"Where are you going?"31
"I'm going upstairs to change. We're going out to eat. How's Chinese sound?"32
"Chinese?"33
"Yes, isn't that your favorite?"34
"This isn't going to help."35
"Maybe not, but if we get a divorce the lawyers will probably take everything!"36
"Stop kidding around."37
"It's good to see you can still laugh."38
"This still isn't going to help."39
"All I can do is try. Now get ready. We're going dancing after dinner."40
41
"How was the meal?"42
"I always love the sesame chicken and egg rolls."43
"I'm glad."44
"You're still a great dancer and you were the loveliest woman there."45
"You're not bad yourself."46
"Have you enjoyed the evening?"47
"Yes, but that doesn't change the way I feel. It is too little and too late."48
"I understand that. You were making people jealous on the dance floor. They all would have liked to have danced with you."49
"I'm still not going to have sex with you."50
"That's all right. All I ask is that you give us some time. I love you and I intend to prove it to you."51
"I don't know if I love you anymore."52
"Well, give it some time. Just a little time. If it doesn't get better, we can always separate later."53
"Okay. We'll see how it goes, but one night doesn't make up for years of being taken for granted."54
"No, but I intend to make worshipping you a habit."55
"Oh, don't say that!"56
"I mean it."57
"DAMN YOU!!!"58
"It's all right, Honey, don't cry. Things will be better. I promise."59
60
Part Two61
62
"I'm sorry, I just can't take it anymore. I need to be on my own for a while."63
"But I thought things were getting better. For heaven's sake, we made love last night!"64
"I know and part of me was glad that we did."65
"You acted as though you enjoyed it. It was the best sex we've had in years!"66
"I know, but I still feel dirty. I feel like your personal slut!"67
"What are you going to do?"68
"I'm going to find myself an apartment and stay there for a while."69
"Will you be coming back?"70
"Honey, I really don't think so. I just don't feel good about myself anymore. It's not you. You have been very thoughtful and loving, but I still feel like a sex object. I want to be a whole person."71
"I am not going to give up that easily. I've invested too much."72
"You're free, honey. Find someone else who makes you happy."73
"I'm happy with you, Darling!"74
"I know, but I don't think I can ever feel complete living here."75
"Well if you must leave, you must."76
"I must."77
"I love you."78
"I know."79
80
"How are you getting along?"81
"Why, I am doing well, thank you."82
"I heard a rumor that you and your wife separated a couple of months ago."83
"Yes. I'm hoping she'll come back."84
"Oh!"85
"Is something wrong?"86
"I was going to ask if you'd join me to a movie or something?"87
"Oh, I don't know."88
"Well, I know I am pretty young, but I can be really good company."89
"It's not your age, it's just that I consider myself still married."90
"Well, if I promise not to seduce you?"91
"Somehow I don't think I can trust you."92
"I promise I won't make you do anything that you don't want to do. Promise. We can just have fun doing things together until you work things out with your wife."93
"Well, that's not really fair to you."94
"There's no reason we can't be just friends."95
96
"How's everything going?"97
"Really well, thanks."98
"How's the decorating coming, have you got your apartment the way you want, yet?"99
"Yes, it's lovely. I went with cyan and beige, I think you'd love it. Would you like to come and see it?"100
"When's a good time?"101
"How about tomorrow afternoon?"102
"Okay, tomorrow it is."103
104
"It looks wonderful! I really like the blues and browns."105
"The furniture and drapes are really cyan."106
"You know I am bad with colors, but I know what I like and I really like this. You have done a marvelous job here."107
"Thanks. What have you been doing with yourself?"108
"I've been going to movies, eating out and dancing."109
"Have you got a girl?"110
"Well, not exactly. I have a young woman friend, but we're just friends."111
"She wants more?"112
"Yes, I think she would be open to it."113
"I think you should go ahead, you deserve some satisfaction. You're a healthy man."114
"But it's you I want."115
"I know."116
"I miss you like I never knew I could, please come home."117
"I can't, at least, not yet."118
119
"Darling, you were wonderful!"120
"Was I?"121
"It's so much better with a mature and experienced man. You have much more control than the two men I'd slept with. Was I okay? Is there something wrong?"122
"No, no, you were fantastic, but I couldn't help thinking of my wife. I felt like I was cheating on her."123
"Well, she gave you her blessing and she's left you, that should help you feel free."124
"I know, but it doesn't. This may be all wrong, because I still want her back. It's not fair to you. What if she comes back?"125
"I'm going to win your heart from her."126
"I don't know if you can."127
128
"Hello. Can I help you?"129
"Is my husband here?"130
"Oh, you are his wife."131
"Is he home?"132
"No, he went to the store for some milk."133
"Are you living with him. Tell me the truth."134
"Yes, I am."135
"For how long."136
"I moved in two days ago."137
"You're really a pretty young thing. What, about 20?"138
"21, last month."139
"That makes him fifteen years older than you and you ten years younger than me."140
"So?"141
"I'm just thinking out loud."142
"But you left him, you can't come back now!"143
"You love him?"144
"Very much!"145
"I've always loved him."146
"Then why did you leave?"147
"I had to leave. Like they say, I had to find myself."148
"Did you do it? Did you find yourself?"149
"I believe I have."150
"You just can't come back, now!"151
"You're really a very nice looking young woman, you could be a model. You are a true blonde, aren't you?"152
"Yes."153
"Don't cry, I won't try to get him back."154
"But he still loves you!"155
"That's all right, don't tell him I was here."156
"I have to."157
"Why?"158
"Because I love him too much to lie to him."159
"It wouldn't be a lie, just don't say anything."160
"It would be like betraying him."161
"I'm sorry."162
"I know."163
164
Part three165
166
"Sweety, give your old man a kiss.... Is everything okay?"167
"Ah, I guess so."168
"What's troubling you? Have you been crying?"169
"Oh, it's okay. Your wife stopped by."170
"Really! Did she say what she wanted?'171
"I think she was hoping to spend some time with you."172
"What makes you think that?"173
"It's just a feeling."174
"What did she say?"175
"Not much really. Why don't you call her?"176
"You don't mind?"177
"No, I want us to keep everything out in the open."178
"Alright, I'll give her a call."179
180
"Hi honey, how are you?"181
"Nice of you to call. I'm well."182
"I understand you came by while I was out."183
"So she told you. I told her not to."184
"Oh, well yeah, she told me you were here. What was it you were wanting...? Are you there...?"185
"Yes, I was just thinking. She's a beautiful young girl. Do you love her?"186
"Yes, but I love both of you."187
"Is she listening?"188
"Yes, we are both on the sofa. Why'd you come by?"189
"Well, I just wanted to talk."190
"About?"191
"I didn't know she had moved in."192
"Well now you know. What did you want, honey?"193
"Oh I don't know what I want. I didn't realize that you and the girl were that serious. Also, I can't get you out of my system."194
"Well, we have been married ten years."195
"Yes, a third of my life I've spent with you."196
"Well, she and I are living together now, so I guess that is that."197
"Yes, I guess it is settled. I am really doing pretty well and I feel so much better about myself. Don't concern yourself with me. You and she should be happy together. I mean that I think it's a good thing."198
"I'm glad you feel that way."199
"It's for the best, I know. I'll probably find someone myself soon."200
"I'm sure you will, if you want to."201
"Okay, thanks for calling."202
"You're welcome. If you need anything, give me a call. Love you."203
"I will. Love you too."204
"Bye."205
"Bye."206
207
"You still want her back, don't you?"208
"I think it is over between me and her, Sweety. There's no going back. People change and she and I have changed."209
"Do you love me?"210
"Sweety, I love you."211
"What if you could have both of us?"212
"Both of you?"213
"Yes, what if you could have your wife and me?"214
"That seems improbable."215
"Seriously, if you could have both of us, would you like that?"216
"What are you suggesting?"217
"Well, we both love you and you love both of us. I am willing to share you rather than lose you and she would probably like to have you back."218
"It seems a little crazy. Do you really want to share me with her? What makes you think she'd like the idea?"219
"We both want you to be happy."220
"And I want both of you to be happy."221
"I think it might work out well."222
"I think you may be slightly insane. I'm not sure I'll ever understand either of you."223
224
"So the idea appeals to you?"225
"Yes, Love, it does."226
"I told you that she'd like the idea."227
"It surprises me, Sweety, but you were right."228
"I'll keep the apartment for times when I feel that I have to get away. I'll feel more independent that way."229
"We're going to make you feel like a king."230
"I think this may be madness, but if you two are sure about this, then I guess we'll give it a go."231
"We're sure."232
"I'm positive."233
"Well, which of you gets me first?"234
"I think we'll both take you at once, right Blondie?"235
"Right."236
"Oh my God!"237
Author notes
♥
星井
In a list
A contest entry
- Let's Talk by AllOuta.
450 points, ended February 4, 2008, 6 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - show me you have skills by Amb0r.
100 points, ended May 18, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - SW Oscars 2008 - Best Romance Story by The Oscars Team.
400 points, ended September 6, 2008, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes by citcat.
180 points, ended May 25, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - FUNNY OR ANGRY DIALOGUE. by SAVAGEshark..
1200 points, ended October 24, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Drama, Drama and more Drama! by sammiwammi223.
150 points, ended September 3, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Ménage a Trois by Sanchara.
100 points, ended October 11, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Dialouge only? Interesting... This was one of the best dialog only storys I've read! I loved how you started it out with the fight between the two. Keep up the great work and thanks for spliting the story up into two sections — that really helps me understand it more!
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Hi Rose!
I'm very pleased that you like this story. It was fun to write and my readers wanted me to continue it. The first part was for a contest. I really didn't plan at that time to go forward.
Andy
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I don't usually like dialouge only stories but this one was very good. Even wthout description you get a good idea of what's going on.
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Hi Sanchara!
I enjoyed the challenge of this story. The first part of the story was written for a contest. It didn't place, but my readers encouraged me to continue it.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reanding, commenting and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Andy
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I honestly enjoyed it. The only thing that would have made it better for me would have been some description. But I think that's personal preference rather than any real critique.
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Hi Sanchara!
I have a play version of this with set descriptions, but little more. I felt it should be interpreted by the actors.
Andy
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I love how this story was written,in just dialouge. It makes it very interesting.
There was not as much drama as I would like but it still had some drama in it.
Love how it was a love story too.
Thank uyou for entering and good luck! [: -
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Hi Sammi!
I'm very pleased that you like this story. I've also adapted it into a play, my first and only play.
I hope this story fares well in your contest.
Andy
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A unique concept....what an easy solution. he he....liked the straightforward characters. Only dialogues made this story great!! Very good one.
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Hi Trendster!
I like it. There were some that didn't care where this story went
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I'm glad you like that this story was written only in dialogue. It was a fun challenge that I couldn't pass up.
Thanks for reading me.
Andy
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Very interesting. Although I asked for description, the description remains in the dialogue.
A common situation between couples, I pretty much understand where this would come from. Very nice.
Thank you for following the rules.
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Hi!
I'm very glad you like this story. It was a fun story to write. I'm glad you like the ending, some don't.
Thanks for hosting this contest.
Andy
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Ok this was brilliand.A trio,oki doki.Very very very intresting theme.The dialogue was well writen,and the idea was smart.GREAT JOB!
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Hi!
I'm very pleased you like this story. Of stories I've written, it's among my favorites. I'm glad you like the plot and dialogue.
Thanks for hosting.
Andy
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omg!!! hahahah wow!! how could you ever think of this kind of story?? man! i think my mind will explode if i do. lolx... he got two women1!! lolx. ahahahahahahahah
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Hi! Sumi!
You think this is unlikely
, Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubine. In my vampire series Victor, the vampire, ends up with six women.
Anyway, I felt this story needed a different twist for the ending. It angered a couple of those who read this story.
Andy
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yes! i remember that... in the bible. lolx... anywayy.. that was a long time ago.. lols.. but i didn't say that i don't like ur story. I said that u're smart to write this kind of story.. "only people talk." lolx..
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Hi Sumi!
I've always wondered what it would be like to have been Solomon with so many women. As he was the most powerful king at the time, those women would have probably done whatever he wanted. I've never been able to keep up with one woman
.
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Hmmm, quite interesting. In my creative writing class we had to write a story that was strictly dialogue to see if we could get our emotions heard w/o describing them. I think you did that wonderfully. Not exactally the type of affair I was thinking of, but it was very good nonetheless. Thanks so much for entering, and good luck!
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Hi Vail!
Thanks for all the applause and for hosting. I appreciate it. I'm tight for time, so I'm not writing much new these days.
I'm very pleased that you like this story.
Andy
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Hahaha
You're kidding right? Every man's fantasy; two women who want to make him feel like a king - oh per-lease! Apart from the corny ending the dialogue was good and didn't falter. You also managed to weave a moderately involved plot with no supporting prose; not an easy task. Well done.
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Actually,
I rather like Solomon's reality as a fantasy, 300 concubine and 700 wives
! In truth, I've never really known what to do with one woman, but I write a lot of fantasies.
The story was a fun challenge and I felt it needed an atypical ending.
Thanks for reading and applauding.
Andy
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Hi !
I'm back, actually i love this story and thats why i am here again...so for you and onece more'This is intresting story, i like it.'
keep writing -
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Hi*happy*!
It's really a great compliment to have someone rereading my stories. However, if you want a romance, you'll probably have to do that. I think you've read all I've got.
Did you want to try to co-write a story about the Indian Maiden?
I was thinking she could be skinned and eaten by some buffalo hunters, but you might have a different storyline in mind.
Andy
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Excellent
This is quiet the situation. I can't see two woman and one man living together literly. Your dialog is really good,discription of the setting would have added to the story of what she gave up.
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Hi!
How's everything?
Two women is improbable and it pissed off one of the commentors who read this story, but what the heck, it was different than the norm.
It's really a bit difficult to add much description in a story with strictly dialogue, but I did squeeze in a bit about her apartment.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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nice. No blood!? It was great!
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Hi there!
I guess that I should write a story about you satisfying your blood lust.
Thanks for readig me.
Andy
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Hahahaha!
I'm trying to cut down on the blood drinking...
Again, this was a great story. I loved it! It was amazing! This is great. You are one of the best writers on Storywrite!
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This was great Kept my attention the whole time.
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Hi there!
I'm very happy you like this story. It was a fun challenge to write. Thanks for stopping by and reading me. I appreciate it.
Andy
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i love this! i remember reading it a while ago and thought how well it was written. Because i didnt think i would like it, but then i ended up loving it. Great work!
Best of luck in my contest andy!
citcat
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Hi Citcat!
I really thought you'd probably not have read this one, but I didn't check it before you'd read it. I notice that you've also put it in the finalists, so I guess I should leave it in your contest. I'm very glad that you like it.
Andy
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haha
this was funny just the way it ended.
Very original; I love it
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Hi Tobia!
Thanks for dropping by my page and reading this story. Thanks also for all the applause.
How do you like Storywrite? What sort of stories do you write? What do you like to read?
I'm very pleased you like this write. It was initially started for a contest with a prompt for a story written completely in dialogue. I continued it at the request of readers and it became what it now is.
Andy
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This was excellent! Dialogue only leaves a real mystery to details, but in a good way- and I'm sure it must have been a challenge to write at the same time Wonderful work here. You have a very nice and unique writing style that I am adoring.
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Hi Miss Pix!
I'm very happy that you like this story. I was both a challenge and fun to write. The first part was written for a contest. Those who read it wanted it continued, so I added the two additional parts.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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I think this definitely makes for a better read as a short story lol, I find that the details aren't as necessary in a story as a play.
And like I told you on the play version, it was excellent!
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a work that is elevated
Very good, Andy. The use of dialogue lifted it above what is, under normal circumstances, a well known (and overused) plot line. It was an experiment that worked completely. It became elevated.
cheers
Gez
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Hi Gezza!
I've since adapted it as a play.
It was a fun challenge. I started it for a contest that required only dialogue with no tags. I wrote only the first part then. I wrote the additional parts because of the requests of my readers. About half don't care for the ending, however.
Thanks for all the applause.
Andy
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Excellent
it was an interesting story. at first i didnt think i would like it as it was all in dialouge but i was wrong! it was really good and captivating. great job!
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Oops!
I hit the wrong button and sent my reply without a message. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
It was quite a challenge to tell a story entirely in dialogue with no tags. I had fun with, though.
Andy
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Hi Cat!
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Wishful thinking?
I've never read a story that was all dialogue. You did a great job, but it really isn't very realistic. It'll never happen in a million years.
Good Job,
Trish
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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You're probably right!
I've never had more than one woman at a time. I probably couldn't have kept up with two. However, I understand that some of the Mormons were good at it!
Thanks for dropping by and giving my story a read. I appreciate that and all the applause.
Andy
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intresting story....i never think about this aspect of love...when you love two persons equally ...and amzingly they get ready for compromise.....well i guess i m not that open minded plus bit old fashioned...thats why the idea of thi s shared relationship was quite new....but hey i enjoyed it...you really knitted whole story in a very good manner...i read whole story in one breath and for me thats the charm which story should have..so well done Andy!
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Thanks Lavanya
I write about non-traditional relationships occasionally. The challenge in this story was to write it all in dialogue. Some of those who have read it don't like the ending.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
How are you today?
Andy
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Fascinating
The effect of a solid dialogue piece was brick in the face. I like being reminded of the basic conventions of storytelling, and when you eliminate all but one, it really emphasises it. I liked that I could still get a bit of characterisation out of it, even without typical narration.
I also applaud the more original solution to a sticky problem. Consider yourself Hoodwinked.
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Thanks
Thanks for Hoodwinking. I didn't know you were a member of SAR.
I'm glad you liked the piece. It was a challenge to write a story entirely in dialogue. I appreciate you reading my stories.
Andy
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Great dialogue you had going here. I'm not one into these types of stories nor do i agree with the content, but as a story, it was well devised and completely believable. The man in this piece is a total deformed misfit who i think needs a licking, and the girl he got off with, totally shameless. The wife had the right idea in the first place, but it sounds like she became his slut in the end. Very well done indeed.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks Condor
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it, of course; but it didn't seem like you like the story that much.
I had one reader who was really ticked off about the ending.
The main thing with this story was to write it all in dialogue.
Andy
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Heh. Great work, Andy. I loved it. Like the other story like this, I followed the dialogue pretty easily, though you tried to trip us up. Good effort
This is one of the best stories I've read in a long time, excellent work. You are truly a master at writing. Keep us enlightened! -
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Thanks Cory
Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I really wasn't trying to trip you up, but I decided to add a third character. That made it even trickier. I'm glad you like this story.
Andy
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Oh ... HAHAHA!!
I did not see that one coming and hitting me in the face.
Like the previous comment said, I had no trouble IDing who was talking at each time and when the conversations changed - pretty clear cut there.
Interesting story too -- and the amazing fact is, you suceeded at telling a story entirely through dialogue - with a beginning, middle and end, i.e, characters moving forward and developing.
What might have been a difficult task, you made it look so easy.
I did try something like this - but it was something about a mulitple persona and a shrink ...
Great work, and congrats on acing those contests. Keep it up (not that you'll ever let down ..)
RJ
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Thanks RJ
I'm very pleased that you like this story. I initially wrote it for a contest. It was written in three parts. My readers wanted me to continue it. Finally, it became the complete story you read here. It was a fun challenge to write this story completely in dialogue.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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Hood-Winked!
A tale well told through dialogue. This type of story-telling can often become confusing for the reader in trying to fathom who is the speaker at any given time, but I didn't have a single moment of doubt throughout this piece ~ such were your characters defined.
Well done, and congratulations on the trophies.
A couple of quickie-fix-its:
"There you go again! making (Making) light of everything I say. I am not going to put up with it. No. I think it is hopeless. I don't know how it came to this, but I feel it is just too late."
"Yes, but I love both of you?" (Drop the question mark)
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Thanks for the wink.
This was a contest challenge. I had fun with it. I like to write dialogue, but doing a piece that is strictly dialogue is something quite different. I'm thinking about trying to make this into a play, but I've never written a play.
I made the corrections you suggested. Thanks for pointing them out. Funny how little things like that will elude me.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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Not my kind of story at all and i probably would have gotten out of it to find another of yours but i was very intrigued by the fact that it was only diologue. I liked it alot
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Thanks Scriptor
That was the challenge of this story, to write it in dialogue only. It started with a part that I wrote for a contest. I then wrote two additional part and it became what you read.
I hope you enjoyed it some. Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding.
Andy
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I agree with Naila. I think it's hard to write a story with only dialogue; you did well.
I think it is pretty comical, as well as romance.
Pretty original, too.
You did a wonderful job!
Great work, and congrads on being nominated.
Best of luck!
xoxo
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Tay
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Thanks Tay
I was surprised by the nomination, especially for romance.
I'm very glad that you like this story. I've no doubt that it will be different from the other entries. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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For some reason, I found this more funny than romantic, though the romance is still present.
You did a great job describing everything with just dialogue, a feat that, at least for me, isn't very easy to perform.
Great job and good luck!
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Thank You
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
This was initially written for a contest wanting dialogue only. Thus part one came about. Part two and three were the result of readers wanting more to the story. I almost wrote an alternative ending, but I decided to stay with the one I'd written. It was a fun challenge to write a story in just dialogue while at the same time not using names.
Andy
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A little too close to the bone
... for me just now to appreciate its finer points (!!?!!!) but you've got a super ear for dialogue, just rolls off the page.
I did get a little bogged down in the action about 2/3 of the way through.. but it didn't stop me reading.
Altogether:
Nice one.
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Thank You
Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. The main thing about this story is that it began as a contest challenge to write a story using only dialogue. After that, readers wanted it expanded, so I continued the story.
Glad you made it to the end.
Andy
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OMG! This was great! I almost felt like crying! your good at writing!
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Thank You
I'm very glad that you like this story. Did it seem confusing in parts? Did you like the ending?
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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Nicely done story. It took me a while to realize that I was reading entirely in dialogue. It was very easy to follow. Of course, "Lambypie" seems a bit ridiculous in the end since her initial complaint was feeling "dirty" and she ended up being willing to share. That gave the story a bit of a surprising twist in the end.
Thsnks for enterring and best of luck in the contest
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I hope you like this story. It was a challenge to try to write a story that was strictly dialogue. The ending is probably a bit unrealistic, but I wanted to do something different.
I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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very interesting. It was a little hard to follow after the breaks, but only for a line or two. it is really interesting to me how well you can get to know a character from dialog and this really shows that.
well done.
the ending kinda made me go "huh?! wouldn't that make her feel more like a sex slave?" but after reading your comments below and discovering it was an experiment I can understand perhaps it was just a means of drawing it to a close. the dialog between three people could go on forever. -
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. The main reason for the ending to have gone the way it went was an effort to avoid the traditional types of endings this story could have had.
Writing a story using just dialog was a challenge too hard to resist. I hope you like it.
I also hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy -
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again (because i'm for-real) well done
thanks, and of course I commented. I don't appreciate when people can't be bothered to comment on my stuff, why would I not comment on yours?
and if avoiding the traditional was your goal--well played. it was enjoyable and certainly not traditional.
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This was interesting. I have never read a story like it actually. Strange that i felt in the environments and emotional ties when there was only dialogue. Very well written and expressed. Enjoyed all the way through!
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Thanks Durian
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it. I'm glad you like this story. I had hoped you would think it was well written. I'm glad you enjoyed your contest. You seem to be becoming addicted to them.
Andy
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Good job Daddy and great job on the honorable mention! It must have been hard to write as a woman, cause you're a Daddy and not a Mommy. Yay Daddy!
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Hi Rosita!!
How are you? Your daddy should visit you more often. Shame on me. Thanks for stopping by. Do I write women well? You would have a better notion of that, probably, than I do. I hope you enjoyed this play with dialogue. It was just a test to see if I could.
Andy
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Mmmmm, it was okay. Kind of cliche though. sorry. anyways, thanks for writing and enterying.
:] KEEP.WRITING.
-Melli<33 -
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Hmm.
Most who have read this, if anything, say that the ending is rather unrealistic, but not cliche. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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ummmm that was pretty funny. the just talking was a nice touch to the whole... i don't know, confusion of things. it was confusing but i think it was sorta better that way. nice write
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Thanks
Thanks again for reading and commenting. This story was a challenge, to write a story entirely in dialogue. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this story. Thanks for stopping by.
Andy
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hahahaha!
holy crap, this is the most ridiculously funny thing i've read in a while.
at times i couldn't figure out who was talking, like it was just one voice, but it actually had a nice affect, adding to the confusion if you will.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I'm glad you found it so amusing, I think; though I was not really attempting comedy. What I was trying to do was to tell the story strictly through dialogue. Sorry if I lost you in places. The decision to involve a third character makes it a bit trickier.
Andy
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This was awsome! u sure youre not a woman. you've written us so well lol. great job!
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Thanks
A lot of women have felt that the ending to this story was unrealistic. No, I'm not a woman I'm very pleased that you like this story.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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Wow! So glad I read all of this now that was a shocking ending and a very interesting read at that. I never had read a story with only dialog , but I only found it hard to keep up with near the end when they all three was talking. It was a very cool way of doing a story and certainly had to been difficult. The ending although very unrealistic was definitely unexpected to. A good twist there
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks
I'm so pleased that you decided to read this story. The ending doesn't go over well with everybody, but I wanted it to be different. It is probably unrealistic, but it makes a good twist. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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Fantastic! Great dialog, and right up till the end you could keep it all clear. I would suggest naming the characters so that the reader can have a clear definition over who is who.
Other than that, I really liked it! The plot was original and intriguing. -
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Thanks
I'm glad you like this story. It seemed perfect for your contest.
I purposely decided not to name the characters because I wanted to try write the story without depending on names. It was a fun story to write. It was a challenge to write a story with only dialogue.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Pure dialogues isn't usually what I like to read... but this story drew me in. You did well with it.
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Thank Ruth
You don't really like pure dialogue. I'm glad this story drew you in. I found it a challenge to write and a lot of fun. Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding.
Andy
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WOW! all dialogue amazing work. You had me from the get go, I thought I'd only skim through it cause it was so long but you kept me hooked. the ending stopped abruptly and I'm wondering what is going to happen.
I will point out that i did minimize SW for a few minutes, and although I found my place it was a bit hard to remember who was talking.
Great work Andy.. I should show this my Father Santa Claus, maybe he'll make your mercedes more spectacular than it already is lol. - Santa's Daughter -
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Thanks, Miss Claus
I'm very pleased that you like this story. That was the challenge, to write a story using strictly dialogue. I decided to further complicate it by adding a third person. There are a couple of places where it is a little foggy about who is speaking. It was really fun to write. I like to challenge myself sometimes. I have another story that I'm working on now that is a challenge. I intend to finish the second part of it, today.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Andy
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Well....
not exactly my cup of tea, but for what it was, I thought it was pretty good. the end seemed a little bit, hard to believe, but other than that it was good. thanks for entering and good luck! -
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Oops!
I thought perhaps since you wanted a rocky romance and good dialogue that this story might do the trick. I realize the ending is unlikely, but I didn't want it to be predictable. Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Well, a story comprised of only dialogue...Wouldn't that be a play? Jeez man. I read this because of the 'romance' category, because my wife wants to write a romance and I told her I'd start it for her. A little research, you see...
Anyway, this was good. It seems absurdly long to be only dialogue, but that's probably just me. I liked it a lot and wish I had something worthwhile to say, but when I read something that's well written and thought out, I just can't think of anything. Except, maybe, this is good. Or perhaps, I liked this...I don't know. I'm just going to stop talking. -
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Thanks
This story, part one, originated because of a contest asking for all dialogue or no dialog. I felt that all dialogue was the greater challenge, so I took it on. I didn't even place Anyway, I had such a good time with it, I wrote two additional parts. It still hasn't won a contest, but I feel it is one of my best works. The ending is not really realistic, but it is fun.
I think it is wonderful that you and your wife are writing a romance together. I have written a few, but it is not really my area of expertise.
I'm very pleased that you like this. Thanks very much for reading and commenting. If I can help with your writing project, let me know.
Andy
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The famous colors!
lol.
I liked this entry, but the ending, like Frodofan said, was a bit unrealistic. To me, it didn't fit as well as it could have. If he had ended up with ONE woman (either one really), the story would basicly be perfect.
Also, it was written a bit differently, but it was really good. You could tell who was talking, and that's the main thing.
Thanks for entering, Andy, and goodluck. -
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Thanks Andrew
Frodofan was quite pissed with the ending, actually. I had thought to write another ending, but this one is less expected. If he had chosen either woman, it would have been the usual course of things. The wife needed space and got her own apartment, then she found herself missing her husband. She decided to try to reconcile, and discovered he had a new live in lady. So, she decides to keep her apartment and share her husband. Male fantasy, perhaps. Anyway, that is the reasoning of the third part of the story. The challenge here was to convey it all in dialogue alone.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I hope you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Nice job Andy!
Talk about a relationship! Sounds like these two are quite the pair. I especially enjoyed the ending in this. Nice read from start to finish. THANKS again for presenting a story that certainly caught my attention!!beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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< You're Very Welcome!
I'm so pleased that you like my story and especially its ending. I've been getting many mixed reviews about the ending. Did you like that it was all dialogue?
Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting. I appreciate it.
Andy
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