"Don't, Eric," said Samantha.1
We were sitting in her car and I had just told her about how my parents were thinking about putting me in an instituion. I turned to look at her.2
"Don't what?" I asked her, my teath clenched togeter.3
"Don't do it," Sam responded quietly, a tear trickeling down her cheak.4
"I haven't done anything, Sam," I told her exasperated.5
"It's not what you've done, it's what you are thinking about doing," stated Sam and I turned away from her.6
"You don't know what I'm thinking," I told her, staring out the window as the raindrops ran down.7
"But I do, Eric," she whispered in my ear. I didn't want to hear her words.8
I was angry at her. I was angry at my best friend who was only trying to help. She was only trying to stop me. But I didn't want to be helped. I didn't want to be stopped. I wanted it to be over.9
When Sam drove me home, I got out of that car without saying anything to her. I ran into the house. No one was home. Mom and dad were working till six, and it's only four.10
I entered the bathroom and grabbed a razor blade next to the sink. Breaking the plastic off, I removed the blade. I thought I heard a floor board creak behing me, but I ignored it. I went back to the little silver blade betwwen my fingers. I was so close to death that I could taste it upon my lips. I was too busy staring at the blade to notice that she had followed me.11
I started to lower the razor to my wrist but she grabbed it before I even got close. I turned to look at her, I saw tears falling down her face. It was then that I knew what I was doing to her. I was hurting her. I was making her cry. Why did I not think of her? She was the only one ever there for me, and I never thought of her like I did then. 12
"Sam," I whispered the blade clattered to the floor, "I love you," and kissed her sweet lips of salvation.13
It was Samantha who saved me. It was Samantha who cared for me. And it was Samantha who loved me. Life is worth saving. Love is worth saving. I am worth saving.
Author notes
If the devil ate my rabbit, can I at least have its soul back?
A contest entry
- Check yourself here. by Token Massacre.
350 points, ended August 9, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Blame it on the Monkeys by JuliaAlexandrovna.
915 points, ended September 4, 2007, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Write anything interesting and sweet by RedHearts.
155 points, ended September 14, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short and Sweet by abba12.
175 points, ended October 2, 2007, 38 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Feel good stories. by Taboo Pixie.
240 points, ended October 22, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ~I didn't know what to call it,so this is it~ by Ninja Bubble.
100 points, ended November 24, 2007, 25 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this is really good; it's a bit rushed, yes, and we all know why, but this short story is still packed with emotion. i love it good job
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Though it seemed kinda rushed, I really liked its theme. It was a nice read. Good job and thanks for entering my contest.
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its good, but its very rushed, he goes from cutting to kissing. you need to go through his mind though. and he wouldnt be imidiatly 'life is worth saving', he would question killing himself but unless hes severely bi-polar he wouldnt do that. just slow down a little, and dont beleive people can just change their mind like that. if hes going to do that, hes considered it a long time, so that one image, while it would make him stop and think, wouldnt make him decide life is worth living again.
the theme is good, the idea is there, just work on it a bit. good work -
Good. I liked the story. Good descriptions.
'"You don't know what I'm thinking," I told her, staring out the window of the passaner side.'
I guess it should be 'passenger' not 'passaner'.
Good job though, good luck in the contest. -
By the way, you are missing something as well in your author's notes.
x Julez -
It was kind of quick, rushed it seemed.
It made me think that Samantha had only dropped Eric off, but then there she was, trying to stop him.
I'd like to know the motives Eric had for doing this. Or at least more feeling than "Death was so close I could taste it."
I felt that this story was lacking details.
Thanks for entering. Good luck.
x Julez -
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it seemed rushed cause i wrote it for a 300 word contest on a promts. and she had just dropped eric off.
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Oh good job.
I like it. You describe it well, and this story really is inspirational. I wish it was a little longer just to maybe reflect on a memory between Sam and Eric. It might help the readers to show how strong the friendship between the two characters are.
Other than that, perfect
-Kevan -
might want to double check spelling and punctuation. you use her instead of hear at one point.
The dialogue flows well and description is well done. The cutting scene wasn't overly believable though. Good start though.
I really liked the last sentence. Good luck and thanks for entering -
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thanks for letting me know i was wondering about the transfer of the scene though. so i decided to cut it out entierly. so thanks for the feedback on it.
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