COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS
1 In this beginning BEING gave itself a body by bursting forth to form this Universe, and make no mistake about it, there was light! There was also darkness, and so the dance of the opposites began.
2 Eons later, what would become our planet was still a formless cloud of swirling dust and hot gas orbiting a puny yellow star.
3 As the planet solidified, it began rotating and its gravity captured a moon that came passing by.
4 On the planet's surface, though there was nothing and nobody to witness it, there was daylight and there was night.
5 The planet slowly cooled off and the water cycle began, and boy did it rain! The rain washed the surface clean and formed the soupy, nutrient rich lakes, rivers, and seas. And there was daylight and there was night.
6 Sometime, somewhere, the right elements found each other; DNA replication and so, organic life, took hold; organic life from inorganic life, from elements that were formed when BEING first burst forth, when this Universe first began. And there was daylight and there was night.
7 Eons of days and nights passed. An "oxygenless" atmosphere developed; then algae and bacteria. And on and on, there was daylight and there was night.
8 The atmosphere became oxygenated and along came the non-flowering plants, fish, amphibians, insects, reptiles, birds, marsupials, and mammals; life forms and more life forms developing because BEING burst forth, when this Universe first began. And there was always daylight and there was always night.
9 Even more eons of days and nights passed. Life forms arose and disappeared. Then came the flowering plants and flowering trees. And still there was daylight and there was night.
10 Among the mammals were the primates; among the primates, the apes. Some ape's brain started growing. Served her right, gave her an advantage. When she had offspring, they survived.
11 One day the brain of one of her descendants spawned a mind... Or was it one night?
12 Life was happening all over the Universe.
13 THE UNIVERSE IS ALIVE!
A contest entry
- August 's New Members Contest by SW Greeters.
350 points, ended September 6, 2007, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Cosmic okay
Certainly nothing wrong with the writing, but seems more like the preface for a sf novel than an actual story. The beginning is much like the Hindu cosmology, and the development works a plausible synthesis of science and genesis. I like it.
beginning: 4, language: 4, ending: 3.
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Hawking Lives!
What possessed you, Anaya? I had to smile through this. We puny humans are always trying to figure out the beginnings and middles, and ends of things. (And, of course, THIS one comprises a formidable task! lol!) I have been studying Cosmology for most of my life...and found it to be quite daunting....overwhelming! Just two of the reasons not to even ATTEMPT anything like this. (I leave it to Steven Hawking!)
But, hey, you must know what Browning said: "Man's reach must exceed his grasp...or what's a heaven for?" (Andrea Del Sarto)
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Gr8
Excelent! Lets see if I get bit by the writting bug. Of course you will have to proof read. Love. G -
Is the BEING God? Is everything
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This one is quite descriptive!and well written. and informative.
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Welcome to StoryWrite. I'm not a greeter, but I thought I'd say that.
This is good, descriptive, and well-researched. Good luck in the contest. -
Looks Good.
I see that you have it finished. It is similar to the way I think things began. Do you feel that the planet has self awareness? Just something I wonder about. Thanks for entering our contest.
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Andy
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This was very descriptive.
Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering.
~*Brooke*~ -
Well thought out
I liked the logical way you broke down the beginning. Nice writing. Good luck in the contest.
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What a beautiful look at creation you have given us here. Your use of imagery and description is wonderful. I loved this piece, and it certianly fits into the first steps theme. You have done a great job with this piece, best of luck to you in the contest.
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