Good job. You might want to add something more near the beginning that hints at her age because I did not know what to think. I mean it could have been a preteen, a older teen, or even a wife.
Also you might want to break up the story into more paragraphs. You might have them in there but I can't see them because they are not spaced.
I loved the way you portrayed emotional and physical pain. Good description of scenery.
Also when you said that she saw the horse head I thought for a second that she had gone out side and her father had slaughtered an animal. It kind of freaked me out but once I read more I understood.
I love the way you started this story/novel. It is full of emotion and really gripping. Another little piece of advice: describe your character because I have no vision of her and that is an essential part of the beginning of a book.
Hope this helped!
Carly
Author notes
http://storywrite.com/story/102087 it is called Delilah chapter one.
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A very helpful comment, in which you offer some sound advice to the author. From your comment, I can tell you actually read and paid attention to detail within the piece. It is very nicely put together, and remains positive. Well done!
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