Blood and tears
Across the land
For all these years
War out of hand
Fight and fears
In our hearts
All these differences
Tear us apart
Why do we fight?
Why do we hate?
From all of this
Do we assimilate?
Blades and bullets
Go through bodies
All these deaths
Who has the culpability?
Hope and freedom
Words forgotten
All this anger
Can it be forgiven?
Why do we fight?
Why do we hate?
From all of this
Do we assimilate?
Family and friends
Strangers and foes
All are humans
Why make woes?
Sadness and cruelty
Rule night and day
All these grievances
Chase friendly words away
Why do we fight?
Why do we hate?
From all of this
Do we assimilate?1
In a list
A contest entry
- Poets Challenge (prewrites aloud) by Forgotten Anomaly.
300 points, ended November 1, 2007, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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So true, sadly true. I love this, the rhyme is great, the subject is great, everything great and true.
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Good Job...REALLY!
You know...I tried you again...and even though, after reading your bio stuff...which is kind of silly in places...I have to tell you...HONESTLY...I like your stuff. Very NICE! And...I'm finicky...and read lots of "poetry" around here! You ain't bad! Keep on keeping on! You've got talent.
Best,
GA
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wow
this poem is great!
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intresting very intresting
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Wow..this is definitely my favorite poem I've read here so far.
Excellent!
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One of the things i noticed well reading the poem was that i could not read in slowly. Ant that someone actauly used words bigger then death and blood in a war peom is quite refreshing.
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Awesome, beautiful rhyme scheme, really tied it all together. I like the way you use the word tear, it just makes me think about crying and being torn apart.
Totally agree with the sentiment, more hugs, less killing each other for our difference! (Maybe not as catchy as hugs not drugs, but its getting there).
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really liked it. i have a read a few poems of yours and i have nothing negative to say about any of them. although there was only one awkward line in this:
Blades and bullets
Go through bodies
All these deaths
Blame who can we?
the last line in that was a little out of place and forced but it does make sense even if it sounds a bit off.
well done on another great write and keep up the good work! -
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it's supposed to be that way, giving it an oldish english tone to it lol... Blame, who can we?
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yeah i got that but i think perhaps it was used in an odd place in a weird way. to me it just doesnt flow but i guess whatever floats ya boat!! lol =]
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i got a word that rhymes with bodies now, i'm changeing it! Thanks for your words... i would've stuck to something like that... *slaps her head really hard*
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yeah, at first it felt out of place to me too, but i read it over and over again before finally ok-ing it for storywrite, and then i was like hmm.. this does sound good... lol hehe...
Thanks for reading my poems.
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Ahh! Only if I had your talent in writing poems! Haha. I pretty much suck with mine.
This is fantabulistically wonderful!!!
And I've made so many typos and retyped them as I try to type in the darkness =P
Good job with this! I really loved it!!!
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Thanks! But I'm not that good with poems...
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aww..its so true!!! really makes wnna ponder!!! so down to earth!! i really liked it!!!
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Top stuff!
Nice poem, even though poetry is not ususlly my type of thing.
I like the feel of the piece and the wording used.
All the best.
jsdk
beginning: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3.
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I think...
Every SANE and civilized soul is asking the same questions! It doesn't make sense that so many in the world prefer to hate and murder, in order to get what they want...when in the end, it really doesn't solve anything, and only breeds more hate and corruption. It's so sad and frustrating, when it's so obvious FORGIVENESS and PEACE is the answer to everything. Everything!
Very thought provoking piece you wrote here.
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Thanks for reading it, and thinking over it... written in hopes of making this world a better place!
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