I'd like to say my head's a complete mess. Like weeds within a broken garden, weeving in and out of the natural beauty, making it ugly but into a new kind of beautiful. But sadly, I can't.
Those three words you said to me sent my mind into a dizzy spell, like I'd managed to spin round and round for hours, and when I'd finally stopped, sat down and managed not to move. But I hadn't, it was you who gave me this feeling. Butterflies flew in my stomach, growing and flapping stronger as you explained how you felt.
What were the chances that you felt like this for me?
When I'd kissed you on that friday night, I'll admit that was out of a cross between being partly drunk and to be my old self.
My old self... a time how we met. One year and 7months ago, just before my 17th birthday, we kissed, but it never went further. Was that for a reason?
But that kiss, on that friday changed everything. You were too shy to make a move, though I could tell you wanted to, your body never turned away from mine, your eyes lingered on mine for too long and you always held on to me too long after a hug. I had the courage that you didn't, I made the first move. I don't regret it.
At first when I went to yours on the Tuesday, I knew you wanted something, you were just another guy who wanted to get past my jeans, into my pants and then toss me aside, at least thats what I thought.
After Thursday, when I finally allowed you into me, I still had my doubts, but there was another feeling there. As you kissed me and held me there, I felt comfortable and right, just lying there next to you. I never voiced this to you, scared of what you might say. That kind of closeness is something that takes awhile... you managed it within days, within hours of spending time with me. What did you have that made you different?
I was in tears on Saturday, I'd gone to shout at you, to make a fuss, to perhaps lose something fantastic; yet as soon as I saw you walk to me and hug me, I couldn't do it. So I asked as sweetly as poosible if you could sort your friends out, you just smiled at me.
I still don't understand my attraction to you, you're not what I normally look for. In fact, near the complete opposite. After my first love, my first proper one broke my heart over and over, I didn't want to remember him, you're similar but in different ways, and you're also so different.
You treat me as a person, as a real person. Not like a girl who you chose to fuck one day, you passed all the tests you never knew you were under. My friends approve of your ways, whether they approve of you is another matter.
I'm scared at the thought of being without you. And I only have one idea of what this can be. I've felt it before, but not as strong. It got me into heartbreak and deep depression when i lost those two loves, and I don't think I could cope again.
It's quarter past one in the morning. You could be anywhere in the world, but your words say you want to be with me, and instead of questioning whether you're a truthful, loyal person I know what I need to. I can ask you anything and you tell me.
If this isn't love, what is it? An infaution? I don't think so.
Author notes
theres nothing to say except, o bullocks...
persoanl..
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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dude i can realate to this so much. I'm feeling that way right now actually with my boyfriend. We've been through a lot over the last 3 years being together and broken up. We recently got back together on 10/9/07. I hate to admit it to him that I'm in love with him because like this says i dont know what he would say. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS YOU ARE MY HERO!
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lol, glad i was some sort of use with my complicated life and confused ways .
glad you and your boyfriend got back together, and i kno admitting love is a hard thing, but trust me, its worth everything that you are.
thanks for readiing and comenting, hope all is well.
sky xxx
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i liked this a lot, even with the small word count you evoked such a history in the characters and their relation to each other, i could really feel how strong these characters were, how they thought and felt, really good character studies in this story, the narrative style was a good key to this, strong stuff,keep it up!
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many thanks for the feedback and the comment.
i'm trying to change my style so that readers feel that they know the charatcers as the small/short story unfolds.
thanks again
sky xxx
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oooooooo this has to be my FAVORITE short story by you so far! wow! jezzz from your last story, it seems like you've grown so much. I don't know, but there was deffff something different in this one. You put a lot of descriptions in this and even without giving people names you gave them such a thick history. I love this piece to the bones. This is was my favoirte:
"It's quarter past one in the morning. You could be anywhere in the world..."
kdhiawhefqadnf I FUCKING LOVE it!!!!!
I wrote a story kind of similar to this, personal too. It was posted before my last Candy chapter, you should take a peek.
I loooovve you
HNB
<3
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glad you love it gorgeous.
my heads in a bit of a mess atm, got a boyfriend, but this guy (whom the piece is about) really is a truthuful, honest, jst generally nice guy... and im not sure whether i love him or its just an obsession.
He texts me random things and it always makes me laugh, and whenevre i think of him i smile.. argh!!!!!!
Im gonna check yours out.
Im glad you and me are back on here, at least we're reading each others pieces lol.
xxxx HNB Sky xxxx -
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I know... it's seems like we are the only two left. Rea never comes on... Megan... I don't know where she is.
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